Chapter Sixteen #4
Kieran inhaled sharply and let his head fall back against the couch, exposing his throat and tempting Finley. “I feel really foolish.”
“Huh-uh,” Finley said, giving in and sucking Kieran’s Adam’s apple into his mouth.
“Anyone in your position would’ve thought the same thing.
” Kieran gripped his hips and pulled him closer.
“And Cash has some serious explaining to do.” He sat upright and reached for his back pocket.
“In fact, I’d like to hear his explanation right now.
” Kieran rested his hands on Finley’s thighs as he dialed.
The call went straight to voice mail, which was odd for Cash.
When prompted to leave a message, Finley said, “I have two words for you: Ritchie Alvarez. And here’s two more words: camera equipment.
Call me back ASAP.” Finley’s phone rang before he could return it to his pocket.
He tapped the button to accept and said, “Kieran and I—”
“Put me on speakerphone.” Cash’s voice was barely above a whisper.
Finley complied and said, “We’re both here.”
“Damn Hardy Boys,” Cash growled. There wasn’t an ounce of anger in his voice, just mild annoyance and something that sounded like…respect?
“And you would’ve gotten away with it too if not for us pesky kids,” Finley replied, mimicking the Scooby Doo villains. They were only missing a dog and a few more sidekicks to complete the Mysteries, Inc. gang.
A soft chuckle came through the speaker. “Listen, guys, I will explain everything when I get home.”
“Now works better for us,” Kieran replied.
Cash exhaled a weighted sigh. “I wish I could, but I really can’t. I promise everything will make sense, but I can’t get into it over the phone. If my luck holds, I’ll be back sooner than I’d planned.”
“How much sooner?” Finley asked.
“I hope by morning.” A man in the background murmured something low that they couldn’t quite make out, but it spurred Cash into action.
“I don’t have the right to ask for a favor right now, but I’m going to do it anyway.
Stay at the ranch tonight and stop digging into things that could get you hurt. ”
Finley hadn’t looked away from Kieran’s eyes, so he saw the moment resignation crept into his obsidian gaze. “We agree but reluctantly.”
“Fair enough. Thanks,” Cash said before disconnecting.
Finley stared down at his phone for a few moments before tossing it onto the couch.
It was too much to expect either of them to feel better about the pending conversation with Cash.
Finley had more questions than answers, and he would wait patiently to get them.
It was time to pivot to another equally awkward conversation.
“About the diner…”
Kieran tensed and probably would’ve slammed his shields down if Finley hadn’t acted fast. He cupped Kieran’s face and planted a hard kiss on his lips.
Finley pulled back and said, “Don’t say it doesn’t matter.
I saw the look on your face and knew the conclusions you’d reached. I matter to you, and you matter to me.”
Kieran swallowed hard and pressed a brief kiss to Finley’s lips. “Some might say you matter too much.”
Finley kissed him back, longer this time but still without tongue. “No such thing,” he whispered when he pulled away. “My mom and sister staged an intervention when I started moping over you. And maybe I was, but I still had a productive week. I searched every pawn shop from here to Denver.”
“So that’s where you went. The rumor around the ranch was that you were seeing someone. Then I saw you with…”
“Michael.”
“Yeah, him, and I assumed the rumors were true.”
“I’ve given the guys plenty of fodder to gab about over the years, but not this time.
As for Harry and Hope, I haven’t yet decided how I’m going to get even with them, but I will.
I’m thinking maybe I can somehow lure Harry and Dylan into the big walk-in freezer and lock them in.
They’d have to stop being stupid and share body heat to stay alive. ”
Kieran chuckled. “Harry would kill you once she got out.”
Finley grimaced. “Or she’d kill poor Dylan and make a skin suit out of him to stay warm. She’d have plenty of frozen foods to gnaw her way through to keep her fueled.”
“Sounds like you’ve given this a lot of thought,” Kieran said wearily.
“Nah, I just have an active imagination.” He sighed. “They meant well, and I love them dearly, but I don’t need them running interference for me.”
“Thought you said it was an intervention.”
Finley laughed. “Same difference.”
“God, I’ve missed your smile and your laughter.” Kieran brushed his thumb over Finley’s cheeks. “I’ve missed everything about you, and I’m so sorry for shutting you out. I’ve had no guidance on how to handle relationships and powerful emotions. Maybe I’m too broken for even you to fix.”
“Careful, Kieran. I love a challenge.” Finley dropped his hands to Kieran’s abdomen and loved the way his muscles bunched.
A spark flared to life low in Finley’s belly, and if he weren’t careful, he’d have a raging inferno in seconds.
There would be another time to explore their physical relationship, or so he hoped.
Finley was on the verge of asking Kieran to stay with him at the ranch before he caught himself.
The events of the day were catching up to Kieran, and if his week had gone anything like Finley’s, then he hadn’t slept worth a damn.
Kieran’s mouth opened in a yawn big enough to swallow his face, telling Finley everything he needed to know. He slid off Kieran’s lap, stood up, and extended his hand. “I could use a nap too. Then I’ll rustle up something for us to eat.”
Kieran rose willingly and tugged Finley into his arms. “Sounds perfect to me.” He led Finley to his bed and pulled back the covers.
Finley saw a small bottle with his mom’s logo on top of the nightstand. He picked it up, rolled it over, and saw Monkey Grease in her familiar scrawl. “Where did you get this?” Finley asked.
Heat suffused Kieran’s cheeks when he saw what Finley held. He took the small bottle and tossed it into the nightstand before shutting the drawer. “It was included in the bag you gave me on my first day.”
Finley looked up and gaped at him. “No way. I want a hole to open up and swallow me.”
Kieran reached out and pulled him close as if that might really happen. Finley buried his head in Kieran’s chest and held on for dear life. “I thought it was part of the welcome package. Salve for aching muscles and Monkey Grease for—”
Finley lifted his hand without looking up and covered Kieran’s mouth.
His lips trembled against Finley’s fingers, and Kieran’s chest vibrated as laughter built up inside him.
Finley had never heard Kieran laugh before and was too eager to experience it to worry that he was the butt of the joke.
He pulled his hand back, and laughter tumbled from Kieran’s mouth.
It was rich and thick like honey on biscuits, and Finley wanted to lick him up.
Kieran smiled at him after he regained his composure. “I didn’t realize it was in there until the next morning, and I’ve nearly made myself blind from masturbation since.”
Finley rolled his eyes. “That’s a myth. We’d all be blind otherwise.”
“I didn’t find the note your mom wrote until I made use of the lube, which made it impossible to tell you about afterward.”
Finley closed his eyes and groaned. “Oh no.” After a moment, he cracked an eye open.
“And you read it?” Kieran nodded, and the eye snapped closed again.
Finley buried his head in Kieran’s chest. “What did it say?” He shook his head.
“Never mind. I can’t handle the truth.” By then Kieran had started to laugh again, so Finley snapped his head up.
“That bad, huh?” Finley hung his head again. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” Kieran said softly. “Your mom and sister love you and only want the best for you, whether it’s suitable lube or men to date.
” Kieran released another jaw-cracking yawn, and Finley stepped out of his embrace to strip down to his underwear.
“This okay?” he asked when Kieran stood ramrod still. Had he taken things too far?
Kieran whipped his shirt off and tossed it to the floor. “Better than.”
They climbed into bed, wrapped around each other, and lay there in silence for so long that Finley figured Kieran had fallen asleep. He willed his mind to settle down and shut his eyes, hoping to follow suit, then Kieran ghosted his hand up Finley’s spine and settled it at his nape.
“My parents were drug addicts. Hard stuff like heroin.” Finley wanted to comfort him but was afraid Kieran would stop talking if he touched him.
“I can’t recall a time when they were clean and we were happy.
I remember their fighting, being hungry all the time, acting as a punching bag for my dad when his demons were at their worst, and my mom bringing strange men home and into their bedroom to pay for their habits.
One of the johns brought my mom heroin that was laced with something else, and they overdosed together in the bedroom.
I found them when I came home from school.
We didn’t have a phone, so I wandered from house to house until I found a neighbor at home.
I called 911 and ran back to wait for them. ”
“How old were you?” Finley asked, unable to stay quiet.
“There you are. I was afraid you’d fallen asleep.
” Kieran took a deep breath. “I was ten.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Finley’s head and continued.
“When I got back to the house, my dad was there. I told him what happened and that help was on the way. He was furious with me. Said I shouldn’t have done that because they would get in trouble.
He was beating the shit out of me when the cops and paramedics arrived. ”
Finley couldn’t have kept from crying if someone had offered him ten million dollars. He just kept his head pressed to Kieran’s chest, knowing he’d feel Finley’s hot tears on his bare flesh.
“The state took me away, and I never saw them again. My mom survived that overdose but not the next one. My dad was killed in a bar fight not long after she passed. I don’t think I have any siblings floating around in the world.
” He took a steadying breath. “I bounced around to different foster families because my biological family couldn’t or wouldn’t take me in, and I ended up in a boys’ home until I graduated from high school.
I fumbled and fucked around, barely resisting the horrible pattern my parents had taught me. ”
Finley looked up at him, and Kieran wiped his tears away. “But you didn’t follow them, Kieran. You’re better than they were.”
“Sometimes I don’t think I’m that different. I still hurt the one person in the world who cares the most about me.” Kieran rubbed the back of two fingers over Finley’s cheek. “You and the people on this ranch are the closest I’ve ever come to having a real family, and it scares me.”
“We won’t let you down.” Considering the heavy conversation with Cash that lay ahead, it was a bold claim.
Kieran held his gaze for a long time before his eyelashes fluttered and his eyelids closed. His breath evened out moments later, making Finley sleepier. He tucked up under his arm once more and whispered, “Please stay,” before giving in to sleep.