Chapter Four #3
Ivan’s lips quirked into a brief grin before he turned away to pull a loaf of bread out of a bin on the counter and a banana from the fruit basket.
Moments later, Ivan slid a peanut butter and banana sandwich in front of him.
“Start there.” He went to the refrigerator and poured a tall glass of orange juice.
“Sip on this.” Ivan sat across from him and waited quietly for Rory to eat his snack and drink some of the juice.
“I’m already feeling better,” Rory said when he was halfway through his snack.
“Keep eating please. I think you overdid it today.” Ivan’s voice was gentler and more patient than Rory deserved.
Something about his tone made Rory want to nestle against his broad chest instead of provoking another argument.
That reaction was far scarier. “I think we need to determine why you felt the need to push yourself.”
Rory set his sandwich down and met Ivan’s concerned gaze.
The big guy tapped the table near his food, indicating he should eat some more.
Rory obliged by taking two more bites and followed it with a long drink of juice.
“I already told you why I was upset. I didn’t want you treating me differently than any recruit. ”
“That’s a fair place to start,” Ivan said.
“We’ll address the other parts afterward.
” Ivan’s gaze never wavered, and it made Rory want to wilt like a flower.
Oh, wait. He’d already done that. “It’s not fair to compare yourself to the crew we hire from the correctional facilities because they all have agricultural experiences through numerous programs. That’s where I learned to care for beehives for instance.
Both Ty and Owen worked with horses through programs, and Dylan and Kieran started working with dogs at their facilities.
Rue learned how to weld and fix machinery and has shifted those skills to blacksmithing, so each of the recruits who show up here already have a head start. ”
Rory knew that and felt foolish for his line of questioning.
“And, yes, I would offer them extra breaks or a lighter load to carry if I saw them struggling. This isn’t a hardcore boot camp where I’m trying to turn guys into superbutch cowboys.
Now about your other comments,” Ivan said.
“If you haven’t figured it out by now, most of us are queer on this ranch.
There’s no one way to be queer.” He swallowed hard and ghosted his gaze over Rory for a few moments before making eye contact again.
“I don’t think you’re too soft because…you’re smooth all over.
Masculinity isn’t defined by body hair.” Ivan tilted his head to the left and right as if stretching his neck.
He followed that up with small shoulder rolls.
Rory wasn’t sure what this display meant.
Was he uncomfortable? Stalling? Finally, Ivan settled in his chair and cleared his throat.
“I’d never judge you harshly over your hygiene habits and preferences nor would they sway my opinion about your capabilities. Let’s just leave it at that.”
Rory sagged against his chair as he exhaled a long sigh, doing a fine impression of a deflating balloon.
“I made the mistake of checking headlines before work this morning to see if the scandal was dying down. I didn’t read the articles, but a quick skim of headlines revealed that interest is increasing instead of waning.
” Rory had briefly thought about reaching out to his dad to plead with him to take a more assertive stance on these attacks.
Refusing to comment on personal matters and diverting attention back to pertinent topics wasn’t working.
It only made him look guiltier. But Rory had decided his opinions wouldn’t be welcomed and didn’t reach out in the end.
“Don’t do that,” Ivan said.
Rory’s muddled brain struggled to focus. “Do what?”
“Don’t read the articles. Most of it is probably conjecture and rubbish to entice clicks and sell papers.”
Rory sighed. “You’re right. It really got in my head this morning.
I’ve sensed that some of the guys are uncomfortable around me, and I guess I wanted to prove I’m not that spoiled punk often represented in the articles.
Call me silly, but I want people to like me.
I want to like me.” Rory buried his head in his hands.
“Damn, I’ve made a real mess of things.”
Ivan scooted his plate closer until it bumped into Rory’s arm.
Taking the hint, Rory lowered his hands and finished the sandwich.
Ivan’s gaze softened further. “Look, the first thing you need to understand is that every single one of us on this ranch has trust issues. Life taught us to be guarded and cynical before we went to jail, and time in lockup didn’t change that.
We’ve built trust and respect among each other, but it takes time to adjust when someone new arrives.
I promise no one intended to make you feel unwanted or excluded.
Just be yourself and give them a chance to get to know you.
” Ivan tilted his head to the side. “I’d say you made quite the impression today.
Relax and patiently build on that. And maybe eat more protein and complex carbs, especially at breakfast. I’ll make sure you get a healthy snack from now on until your body adjusts to the new demands you’re putting on it. ”
“You’re being way nicer than I deserve,” Rory said. “And I’m sorry I misjudged you.”
Ivan shook his head. “Kindness shouldn’t be a rare occurrence. I’m sorry I gave you a reason to make those leaps in judgment.”
The urge to lean forward and test the suppleness of Ivan’s lips was almost too strong to resist. Those thick thighs looked as if they were made to cradle Rory’s weight.
Ivan’s broad chest would make the best pillow, and his brawny arms would hold Rory safely.
How nice would it be to curl up on his lap like one of his cats?
“You look like you’re ready to crash,” Ivan said.
Rory tried to nod, but his head was too heavy to lift. He held his hand up to show his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “Maybe a little.”
“You need a power nap,” Ivan suggested.
“Have work to do. Harry is expecting me.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Ivan promised. “The others might fear her, but I don’t.” Ivan stood up, cupped Rory’s bicep, and helped him up.
“Your bed or mine?” Rory asked.
Ivan snorted. “I’m going to settle you on the couch. If I put you in bed—”
“You’ll do wicked things to me?”
“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Ivan teased.
“You bring it out in me. I swear I’m not like this with anyone else.”
“Uh-huh,” Ivan said as they reached the couch. “This is the perfect spot for napping. Just ask the cats.”
The sofa might’ve looked outdated, but it was a pillow of perfection for Rory’s weary body.
Ivan unfolded the throw blanket from the top of the couch and draped it over him.
Though Rory’s eyes were heavy, he couldn’t seem to stop tracking Ivan’s movements through the room.
It surprised Rory when Ivan sat down in the recliner and retrieved a book from the armrest. The cats came running, thinking they were getting another treat but settling for cuddles when none were forthcoming.
The last thing Rory remembered was thinking how lucky those cats were.