Chapter Eighteen
“Focus, Jamie,” I chided myself as soon as I realized I was staring off into space again.
I had told BamBam that I needed to skip breakfast to finally work on my college application essay for SISU.
In reality, I was sorting through all the new footage Ethan had sent me last night, as well as everything I’d collected, so that we could start picking out the shots we liked best.
Only, I couldn’t focus. I’d fantasized about kissing Ethan more than I cared to admit. All the daydreams paled in comparison to what it actually felt like to kiss him. Now I basically couldn’t think about anything other than him. His hair, the color of his eyes, his lips…
I’m doing it again! Shaking my head, I put my fingers back on my keyboard and tapped the space bar to play a clip. Of course, it was another one of Ethan waving at me. I laughed and then dragged the clip into a file titled Ethan Waves. Maybe I’d make a joke video and send it to him…
The buzz of a text message pulled me out of my daydream. Picking up my phone, I felt a hum of excitement hit as Ethan’s nickname came up.
Go Kart: No breakfast?
My heart fluttered. He wondered where I was. Thought about me. I typed back.
Nope. Trying to sort our footage before this afternoon
Go Kart: So dedicated
Want me to bring you coffee?
I was halfway through typing YES PLEASE when I remembered BamBam.
She was currently at breakfast, but for how long?
Ethan had brought me coffee before, and we didn’t get caught.
Then again, there was the other time when Buzzy had caught us.
Even if I managed to sneak around my parents’ rules, our grandmothers were a different story.
As much as I wished it, just because we’d kissed didn’t mean the situation with our grandmothers had changed—they were still enemies.
I frowned and tried to push the problem out of my mind.
There was no clear solution to that mess, and I had too much else to think about right now.
BamBam will be back soon
As soon as I sent it, my heart sank. I imagined Ethan reading the message and the disappointment on his face. Quickly, I double texted.
See you this afternoon? Coffee on me
I went back and forth about adding a little heart or a coffee emoji, then decided I was overthinking everything and hit Send. If Ethan couldn’t figure out that there was a heart somewhere in that text, then BamBam might have been right about the whole family being dense.
The phone dinged again with another text from him.
I looked down and laughed.
Go Kart:
No need to abandon him yet. Soon, we’d graduate and maybe he’d want to move to California from Chicago with me after graduation.
Could we keep this a secret until then? It was kind of an impressive mental leap to go from one kiss to living together in Los Angeles without us even talking about college plans, but at the start of the trip, I would have said it was impossible to go from being inactive participants in a family blood feud to a kiss, so who knew what the future had in store?
A little voice poked at the back of my mind, offering the idea that not having our families find out about us for ten months was basically impossible.
I frowned at my reflection in the mirror above the desk as I thought about trying to sneak around BamBam and my parents for that long.
I’d have to tell all of them, eventually, if being with Ethan in LA was my dream.
Eventually being the key word. That was Future Jamie’s problem. Right now, I’d enjoy the moment. Ethan and I could figure out the rest later. After we won this prize, everything would fall into place. My parents would see that I could be successful and BamBam would forgive me. Maybe. I hoped.
I turned my attention back to my computer.
Something about this footage was off to me.
Like we’d missed an important part of the TrendCon story, but I couldn’t figure out what.
I rubbed a hand over my face and tried to think.
Whatever was missing, I needed to identify it ASAP, or this video would feel like every other commercial for Las Vegas.
Glancing at the clock in the right-hand corner of my screen, I sighed. Pretty soon, BamBam would be back, and I’d have to work on my actual application. Unless I didn’t.
Ethan was right. I’d have to tell my parents that I didn’t want their future sooner or later.
Maybe it would be better if I told them now.
I could enlist BamBam’s help. She could warn them, maybe soften my parents up before we got back and I told them directly.
That would give them more time to get over the fact that I wasn’t going to be the perfect daughter.
Plus, Ethan and I could then spend some of the summer together.
I’d have graduated by then, so we wouldn’t even be breaking my parents’ no-dating-until-graduation rule. My phone buzzed again.
I picked it up, expecting to see Ethan, but it wasn’t him. I opened the text, then turned to the room door.
Nittha: We’re here to save you. Open the door.
I was about to laugh at the joke, when someone banged on the door, accompanied by Gabby’s voice, shouting, “We know you are in there. Open up.”
“Coming,” I yelled back, trying to keep my curiosity in check as I shuffled to the door. I was supposed to see them later tonight at the farewell pool party. I’d told them that I’d give them all the details about my adventure with Ethan then. Maybe they’d come to gossip early?
I pulled the door open, and Nittha’s anxious face greeted me. She was clutching Cricket so close to her chest that I would have been worried for the little dog’s ability to breathe if she weren’t so busy licking Nittha’s face.
“Oh, thank god,” Nittha sighed as soon as she saw me.
Next to her, Gabby was furiously chewing on her lip.
Checking left, then right down the hallway, she pushed a cup of plain coffee from the breakfast buffet into my hand.
“This is for you. I know it’s not the good stuff, but we wanted to get here as fast as we could.
We’re so sorry. We swear, we didn’t think this would happen. Are you okay?”
Before I could ask why they were sorry, both of them hustled past me and into the room, concern radiating off them.
I checked the hallway for whoever Gabby was worried about, then closed the door to face them.
Their anxiety was making me nervous. Eyeing the plain coffee suspiciously, I said, “I’m fine. Should I not be?”
Gabby’s eyes went wide as Nittha winced. The two exchanged glances, silently negotiating something. Nittha gave her head an infinitesimal shake, causing Gabby to glare at her and tilt her head to the side. After a moment, Nittha let out a heavy sigh.
“So, Emmie posted a video.” Nittha paused to rock Cricket back and forth. After taking a deep breath, she added, “About how Ethan has moved on.”
“Oh.” My mouth went dry.
“It’s not that bad. She was trying to tell her fans to move on, too, because both of them were letting go.
I don’t think she meant it to be a big thing.
” Gabby jumped in where Nittha had left off.
She sounded like she was trying hard to make everything seem like no big deal.
“She didn’t name you. But since Sterling and I all posted videos of you and Ethan at go-karts, BamBam and Buzzy had those big fights, and Ethan posted a photo of a girl and a car, people kind of… ”
Gabby’s voice trailed off as she moved her hand in a circle, like if she didn’t say the words they wouldn’t feel so bad.
Nittha eyed Gabby, hoping our friend would finish the story. When she didn’t, Nittha blurted out the rest. “People figured out that you and Ethan are a thing. Most of the comments are nice, though, and—”
“Comments?” I asked, my face hot as my brain shuddered under the weight of trying to connect the dots. Why should I care if people said things in Emmie’s comments?
“We’re so sorry.” Gabby jumped back in, apprehension running across her face. “If we’d known Emmie was going to do that, obviously we wouldn’t have posted anything. I think it’ll blow over fast and—”
“I don’t get it. Emmie is super popular.” I shook my head, trying to make my friends make sense. “She gets comments all the time.”
Gabby’s shoulders slumped, an expression of utter defeat crossing her face. “They aren’t commenting on Emmie’s videos.”
“Like on Ethan’s?”
Nittha nodded, a deep crease forming on either side of her mouth. “And BamBam’s.”
“Oh.” A panicked laugh bubbled up from somewhere inside of me. People were saying things about me. On the internet. Where my parents could see them. Or, worse, BamBam.
A million terrifying scenarios ran through my mind.
At any moment, BamBam could decide to check her accounts and see that I’d been lying to her.
About not only who I’d been with but where I’d been and what I’d been doing.
Mom or Dad could be reading them right now.
They’d be furious. Mom would probably call me tacky for sneaking around, and Dad would say this was a sign that I needed to get my act together.
Then the business internship at Mom’s office would be off the table, and I’d probably end up at military camp like my sister that summer she got caught drinking at a house party in ninth grade.
The visual of me in a uniform, crawling around on the ground or trying to do a pull-up, was too much. My chest squeezed, and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I handed Gabby my coffee, then doubled over, putting my hands on my knees and trying to block out the buzzing in my brain.
“I think you should sit down,” Gabby said from somewhere over my right shoulder. I saw Nittha’s pink manicure grab onto one of my forearms. Gabby’s black one grabbed my other. Somehow, they managed to pull me over to the bed.