Chapter Twelve
A Café
Saturday Still Morning
Damascus
Technically Day Two
As per usual, Gene bought them breakfast, and Ethan picked the spot. As they were driving, he saw a quiet-looking café, and that seemed like the best place to lay low from the chaos.
Why were they lying low?
Well, maybe because they had media on alert, and the hungry vultures had WAY too much information.
Like how many victims there were.
Like their names.
And that told both men that they weren’t only working against the clock, but they had a mole making trouble for everyone involved.
A traitor.
Instead of the killer being oblivious that they were working on finding him or her, they now knew the FBI was on the ground and tracking them.
And that sucked.
Big-time.
One of the worst traits of collectors was their need to be hyper-vigilant. There was no doubt in Ethan’s mind that this killer would have the news on and would be all over this.
The jig was up for him and Gene.
And Ethan was NOT the only one thinking this.
Gene was too.
The worst part of this case for Gene was how he felt. Yeah, he was hella twitchy.
Getting ratted out to the media…it pissed Gene off to no end—but mostly because he felt naked without a gun. Here he was, walking around without any protection, and that felt counterproductive.
He was, after all, on desk duty, but how was he supposed to keep his trouble-magnet partner safe without a gun?
HOW?
Something had to give, and all Gene could hope was it wouldn’t be this cuckoo’s need to slow them down, but deep down, he knew it was only a matter of time.
When Gene finished paying for their food, he carried the tray to their table.
Placing it down, he sat beside his partner, making sure he was able to watch the door.
For the goddamn media.
“Find anything?” Gene asked Ethan, as he handed his man breakfast.
It was waffles loaded with fruit and whipped cream. The two of them couldn’t possibly be opposite when it came to food. Light and fruity versus heavy on the piggy.
He had an omelet, and a side of bacon. Because bacon always cheered him up, and after the ambush outside the high school, he needed something to make him sunshine-y again. This town was NOT the vibe he wanted to feel.
Ethan tapped the screen of his laptop.
“While you were getting us food, I ran both cops,” he said.
“They have good records, and no issues with the police force. I’d like to think they didn’t call out the dogs on us, but only so many people knew about the three victims. Us, them, their boss, and the ME.
One of those four groups did the crime, as we do the time. ”
On that, he agreed.
To share, Gene handed Ethan a strip of bacon and ate one himself.
“My money is on the ME,” he stated. “I wouldn’t be shocked if he made copies and was handing them out as he headed out the door. He was miserable.”
Yeah, he was.
“Could be,” Ethan said. “It had to be someone with access, and that was the local cops, or us. I know I’m not kissing or telling post-crime scene.”
Gene grinned.
“Well, I wish you were kissing someone right now, and in that little fantasy, I’m the someone. There are better things to put into my mouth than bacon. Trust and believe, there’s only one thing I like more.”
Ethan laughed.
“Ditto. I feel the same.”
Gene put his hand on Ethan’s thigh under the table. He wanted to be connected with his man, simply because he knew how rough he was feeling about being here.
Gene was feeling it too.
But for now, he needed to make sure Ethan was okay, since that was his job as his lover, boyfriend, and partner.
Ethan was slightly off, and unless a person knew his mannerisms, and how he worked, they wouldn’t know it.
It was subtle.
But it was there.
“Just ask,” Ethan said, cutting into his waffle as he kept researching people they’d come across. “I can hear the hamster running at full-throttle in that wheel. Just bring it up. It can’t be anything worse than what we’ve dealt with already.”
Okay, he had a point.
So, Gene did.
“Want to go skiing?”
Ethan looked over at him.
“I’m sorry, what?” he asked.
Gene laughed at the look on his partner’s face. It was clear he hadn’t been expecting that.
Good.
He liked keeping him off balance.
“Skiing. You know, when you strap wood to your feet and fly down a hill at a fast rate of speed. Then, you sit in a hot tub afterward, and canoodle bottomless with your man. I’m the man in that scenario in case you needed to be reminded.”
Blackhawk found him amusing.
“We’re working a case. I know you’re on desk duty, but if Gabe finds out we bailed to go skiing…”
He stopped him.
“No, after. We have two days when this case is over, since we are working. We’re in Utah. There are mountains, and the last snow is going to be gone soon for spring. I looked at the weather forecast, and there’s a storm coming. Want to get snowed in at some lodge with me?”
Ethan blinked.
And Gene held his breath.
He was trying to get Ethan back to where he was in Puerto Rico before everything went to shit—mainly coming here and having to deal with his past.
Maybe he didn’t need to try, but honestly, Gene felt like they were sliding and heading toward a cliff. He just didn’t know how to change course.
He didn’t answer him.
Instead, he said one thing.
“You’re worried,” Ethan said.
Gene nodded.
“For the first time in our relationship, I’m scared that I’m going to lose you, and not because I fucked it up. I know you said you’re working and okay, but this feels off,” he said, motioning between them. “I feel like our vibe is not syncing, and I’ve never felt that before.”
Ethan put his fork down.
It was clear that Gene was struggling with this, and Ethan understood that.
“You aren’t losing me, Gene. I’m just trying to get my bearings while I’m here. We're good. There is nothing wrong with our relationship. I’m just…confused.”
Gene knew he needed to help him, or this was going to make him insane. He was the ‘him’ in that scenario. Trying to get into Ethan’s head to ensure he was good was not working. The not knowing was killing him.
“About?”
“Me.”
Well, that didn’t sound good. In fact, now, Gene was even more worried. Ethan could be unpredictable and not always in a good way.
Gene waited, signaling he needed more, and thankfully, his partner got that.
“This has made me question everything in my life,” Ethan admitted.
Oh, holy shit.
As someone IN his life, that was not what he wanted to hear from him.
Not.
Even.
Close.
Immediately, Gene stopped chewing and pushed his plate away. Suddenly, food didn’t sound appealing. In fact, the bacon was rolling in his belly as he felt like he was going to puke.
“Okay, hit me with it,” he said, exhaustedly as he suited up for another round.
Only, this time, Ethan didn’t.
“That’s my point. I feel like you always have to fix me.
I’m just trying to fix myself and not make my partner feel like I’m a storm he has to wade into.
I can hear how tired I make you, Gene. I don’t want to be a burden on us.
I don’t want you to wake up one morning and be like…
I’m out. I know you work harder to be with me than I do to be with you. ”
Well, double shit.
That was coming back to bite him in the ass. If he knew then what he knew now, he would have said all of that differently.
“I hurt you when I said that I had to navigate things a lot, huh?” Gene asked.
The silence was telling.
“Well, I can tell because you’ve mentioned this twice now.
That’s not what I meant. I don’t hate working for us,” he admitted.
“I love it. I find great joy in trying to find ways to make you smile when you’re upset, or do extra special things to make you happy.
That’s how I should have said it—not the way it came out.
That made it sound like it was painful work. It’s not.”
Ethan stared into his eyes.
“I don’t want you to regret us one day. I don’t want you to wake up when we’re fifty and think that you wasted your life with me.”
Gene tucked some of his hair behind his ear and was grateful they were having a conversation about this. It was better than keeping it in.
“I won’t. Will you?”
Ethan laughed.
“Gene, you’re the only thing holding my head above water at this point in my life.
I was taken from my comfort zone in DC and dumped in Philly.
I made a tactical error with Javier Hughes, and he’s trying to kill you and possibly me.
I came back here and nearly destroyed our relationship.
The only GOOD thing in all of this is you.
I regret a lot in my life, but you are most definitely not part of that regret. ”
Gene felt a little better.
Now, he knew he was on firm ground, and he could dig in and fight for Ethan.
“I love being with you, EJ. I’m worried because I can feel your energy. Since I got hurt in Puerto Rico, it’s been off. It was off when Corbin and Will got married. It was off when I showed up here. I’m just trying to get you back to that point where we vibed. I’m not sure how to do it this time.”
Ethan held Gene’s hand in his lap.
“Then just let me work through it. While I’d love to go to a lodge and soak in a hot tub with you, what I really want is to go home.”
“To DC?”
He shook his head.
“No, to Philly. I want to go to our condo, lie on the couch, and watch movies with you. I want to order pizza and cuddle. I want to feel safe, and I want to be with my partner where I can just be…me. I don’t feel like I’m that Ethan here.
I don’t like pretending. I’m pretty straightforward.
I hate putting on a facade. I like who I am when it’s just us together. ”
Gene understood.
Ethan wanted out of there, so he’d get them out of there.
“Okay, so we wrap this up, head home, and I whip your ass in Clue a few times to show my dominancy.”
Ethan laughed.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he joked. “Baby steps.”