Chapter Sixteen #2
Before Ethan could say anything, Gene went there.
“First, you’re not my type, and he is,” he said, pointing at Ethan. “Secondly, he’s my partner, you’re not, and lastly, detectives get the back seat when I’m driving. If you’re good, I’ll get you a snacky to keep you occupied.”
He gasped.
“Did he just imply that I’m a child? We’re the same age!” he stated.
Blackhawk shrugged.
“He’s younger, but Fed trumps detective every day of the week,” he admitted. “It’s called J.U.R.I.S.D.I.C.T.I.O.N.”
The man sighed as the Fed laughed.
“I told you he could spell,” Gene admitted when Ethan fist bumped him.
Clearly, the detective was outnumbered on this one.
“Fine. Hopefully, you’re good in inclement weather. There’s some snow coming,” he stated. “While it might be spring back on the East Coast, you know how the Utah mountains are.”
Ethan recalled.
It was also why they were going skiing when this shitshow was officially over.
“I’m ready,” Ethan said. “We need to get our hands on some Kevlar. Specifically, you, Gene,” he added. “This person shot at you, not me.”
Oh, he didn’t like that.
Not.
At.
All.
Oh, and it had nothing to do with him being shot at, but instead, with Ethan not wearing any. That was happening over his dead body.
Trust and believe.
He glanced at the detective.
“Do you by any chance have Kevlar in your ride that we can borrow until we get some when our team is settled?” Gene asked.
He nodded.
“I do,” he said, patting his midsection. “I put it on when I saw you were shot at.”
He went there.
“Well, can we borrow some for a little while?”
The man nodded.
“Absolutely. I always wear it when I’m not in the office. I don’t want to die. My girl likes me whole, not holey. There are two more vests behind my seat of my truck. I carry spares for me and my partner.”
Then, he went there.
“Speaking of my partner…”
Gene stopped him.
“Too soon, Detective. Too soon. I just started not disliking you. Don’t rush it. Give us a chance to not hate your partner too.”
He clammed up.
Yeah, there was no doubt it was because his partner being bitchy toward the pretty one. The big man clearly didn’t like anyone annoying his partner.
AND ‘PARTNER’.
As the men grabbed their things, Gene knew he’d promised to handle Callen, so that was exactly what he was going to do. It would be a quick talk.
Then, they’d roll.
“I’ll meet you downstairs. Give me five,” he said.
Ethan knew where his partner was going, so he headed down in the elevator with the detective, and Gene went across the hall.
When he knocked, it didn’t take long for the man to come to the door to open it up.
Oh, and he looked like hell warmed over.
Yeah, been there.
Done that with Jack before.
He knew the look of mistakes, regrets, and a hangover when he saw one.
“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?” he asked, seeing that the man likely didn’t expect him to be at his door.
Instead of speaking, Callen nodded and backed up.
He.
Was.
Miserable.
Callen had puked about five times overnight, and he felt like he needed to crawl into a hole and die.
His head hurt.
BIG-TIME.
“Well, someone learned a valuable lesson about Jack and free will,” he said, following the man into the room.
Oh, Callen and Jack had a long history. All the Blackhawks had that same history, unfortunately. It ended in regrets, bad choices, and a slew of consequences.
“I feel like shit.”
Oh, well, it was likely going to get far worse before it got better, starting with information.
“Well, your grandfather called.”
Callen sighed.
Here it came.
Those damn consequences.
“Does he know about Kaya?” he asked. “Because I don’t want to hear him bitching. I feel like ass.”
Gene nodded.
“Yep. He knows, and he was NOT amused, my dude. What the hell were you thinking?” he asked, knowing exactly what he was thinking.
Or what he was thinking with, and it wasn’t his upper brain. That was for sure.
“When I hate myself, I make dumb choices. She’s the best way to hurt myself, other than the Jack or eating my gun.”
Well, he understood that. Before Ethan, he’d felt hopeless and like he had no choice but to be alone and sad. Hopefully, it would work out for the man.
“Where’s Ethan?” he asked.
Gene didn’t think the man needed him to tell him that, since Ethan likely did the dirty work himself.
“I think you know that answer.”
Yeah, he did.
He and his brother really were going their separate ways from the future.
It was done and over. Callen had little hope that he’d be back. In fact, he’d bet he wouldn’t.
Now, Callen was curious, since the man was there checking on him. That had to mean his brother didn’t hate him.
Right?
“Do you think you’ll be with him for the rest of his life?”
Gene nodded.
“That’s the plan. I’m going to marry him one day, so yeah, this is permanent,” he admitted, thinking about the rings in his bag, and how he planned on giving Ethan one at dinner.
Or when they went skiing.
It was going to depend on the moment.
From where he sat, he was quiet.
“When you do, will you let me know? I know I won’t be invited, but I would like to still know something about my brother’s life.”
Gene was honest.
There was no point in pussyfooting around it, so before he answered that, it was time to deal with the pink elephant in the room.
Gene needed him to know that he knew.
“I heard what you said to him when you were drunk in the shower.”
OOF.
Well, color him embarrassed.
Well, in for a penny.
In for a pound.
Callen had been thinking a lot about it too, since he’d peeked into his cabin window and saw his brother having sex with the man.
“I’m not surprised. You hover over him, and that’s good for him. Ethan needs someone to protect him. I’m sorry I never could,” he admitted.
Gene let him talk.
He still wasn’t addressing what he asked.
“Can I ask you something? Something you will never bring up again?”
He’s not sure why he wants to do that, but Gene was willing to hear him out.
Still, he warned him.
“I can’t lie to Ethan, so if it’s about him…”
Callen stopped him.
“It’s not about my brother. It’s about you.”
Well, okay.
This should be interesting.
In that moment, Gene gave him a chance.
“Okay,” he stated. “What do you want to know, exactly?” he inquired.
Callen went there.
“Were you born gay or made gay?” Callen asked, hoping the man didn’t laugh at him.
From where he sat, Gene was confused.
“Made gay?” he asked. “You’re going to have to elaborate on that part, Callen. I’m not quite sure what you mean by that. As far as I know, you can’t be ‘MADE’ gay. You liked what you liked.”
Callen didn’t know how to ask this. It was part of his past, and a deep dark secret. Only, he needed to know if what he was feeling for Ethan was because of it or just...
Something else.
“Were you…?”
When he paused, Gene lifted a brow. It took him a second, but from reading the room, and how uneasy Callen was asking him this, there could only be one thing he was talking about.
“Molested and made to like dudes?” he asked. “Is that what you’re asking me?”
Callen nodded.
Well, he hadn’t been expecting it to go there. Gene shook his head.
“No, I just never liked girls. I’ve always liked dick.
No one made me this way. That’s not how being gay works.
Some people ONLY like dick. Some people go both ways.
I am a dick connoisseur. Ethan's, specifically. He’s been with me and women.
He technically isn’t gay. He’s Bi. Neither one of us were ‘made’ into this. Why?”
Hearing that, Callen said nothing.
That’s when Gene got it.
Taking two and two, and adding them together, he believed he understood why Callen was asking him this.
“Were you molested as a child, and then you think your attraction to Ethan is because of that?” he asked.
Oh, and he did it gently.
If Callen had been a victim, the last thing he wanted to do was be cruel.
That wasn’t how he rolled.
He’d dealt with plenty of child victims, and it made him want to protect them even more.
From where he sat, Callen nodded, but he wouldn’t look up at Gene. He was horrified he was asking this, but he had no one he could ask. Maybe a part of him hoped Gene would tell Ethan, and his brother would…understand.
Or maybe he assumed he’d never see Gene again either.
At his acknowledgment, Gene was horrified.
Jesus.
This was deeper than Gene thought he’d ever go with his lover’s brother.
“Callen.”
The man cut him off.
“Please don’t tell him. No one knows. I mean, I think granddad knows, but that’s it. I’m just really confused, and I don’t understand why I feel what I feel.”
Gene wouldn’t tell Ethan because this wasn’t his to tell. This was Callen’s truth, and he wouldn’t do that to a person.
He would give him advice, though.
“You should tell him. That would definitely change the dynamic between you. Ethan would…”
Callen shook his head, stopping him from going there.
“I can’t. All I know is I can’t be attracted to my brother, and I have to figure out why I am.”
Gene tried to help him.
“First, your brother is incredibly sexy, so there’s that. You clearly like women, though, or just that walking STD.”
He was honest.
“I like women more than men. In fact, I only like one man, and I think what happened to me broke me. I’m trying to figure it out, and I can’t get it to solve in my head. It’s like I’m running into a wall trying to get to the answer.”
Gene touched his leg, and instinctually, he moved it.
That told him everything he needed to know. Callen wasn’t lying. That was the telltale sign of abuse.
“Who hurt you?” he asked.
Callen glanced up, but he didn’t answer. That alone told Gene it was someone who had access to him as a child. He’d worked plenty of cases like this, and it made him sick to his stomach.
That changed how he felt about this man.
There was compassion now.
There was mercy, and he understood why Callen did what Callen did, and why he told Ethan while drunk. Sometimes, you had to look into the mirror and see the sins done to you.