Epilogue
The Reservation
That Night
It was getting dark out, but Gene wanted to make sure they took care of one last thing before they got on the road to head past Salt Lake City to go skiing. He wanted to give Ethan a chance to say goodbye.
He knew he’d likely never come back.
With his man, he had to cut things off like a cancer if they hurt him, and this place…
Well, it ate away at his soul.
So, as they drove through the reservation, heading to the one sacred place, Ethan was silent.
In his lap was a dozen red roses.
It was time to see his mom one more time.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked. “I’ll do it, or I won’t. You just have to tell me what you want.”
Honestly, he needed to do this alone. While he appreciated his man offering, Blackhawk didn’t want to fall apart, and he knew he would if Gene was there.
One day, he’d introduce them, but for now, he wanted to get the hell out of there.
“You can come with me, but I want to talk to her alone. I need to tell her a few things, mostly that I’m okay. If you’re with me, I’m breaking down. I’ve had enough tears this week.”
Gene understood.
He could do that.
“Okay, Baby.”
As they reached the Sacred Burial Grounds, he parked the car. Getting out of the vehicle, the grounds sang with chimes and bells blowing in the breeze.
“Where is she?” he asked, checking out the different stones scattered all over the place.
He pointed.
“She’s over there beside my grandmother and Callen’s mother.”
Gene let him go.
Heading toward her, Gene gave him space, but sure as shit, he was going to watch the man to make sure he was safe.
Gene was in possessive mode, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever go back to being a bottom again. Protecting Ethan had become his sole goal, other than legally marrying him.
For now, this husband was getting locked to his side until that paper could make it official to the world.
Bet on that.
As Ethan reached his mother’s gravestone, he saw some dead flowers there and picked them up.
Someone had left her some white roses.
Well, he had more.
A part of him felt like shit that he didn’t come here more often, but the other part knew the truth. He wasn’t meant to be here.
It was too toxic.
Placing them down, he kissed the stone.
“Hey, Mom. I miss you so goddamn much. I won’t be back,” he said.
“I can’t stand to be here. I hope you’ll forgive me for not seeing you again.
I know it’s been a long time. This place isn’t good for me.
It takes me back, and I can’t be strong right now.
I’m learning how to be Ethan. If I can get back, maybe I’ll stop in, but if you’re around with Grandma, watch out for Callen.
He’s a hot fucking mess. I can’t save him when I can’t save me. ”
The wind blew, and the chimes sounded all around them. He believed his mother was there with him.
“I love you, and I want you to know that I’m with a man, and he’s a good one.
He’s going to be part of my life forever.
I can feel it. Know that I made it. Or---I’m making it.
I have a long road ahead of me, but one day, maybe I’ll be stronger and can face this place down.
I’m sorry you didn’t get out. You deserved to. ”
He touched the flowers one last time.
And kissed her name one last time.
“I’m going to go skiing now. Who am I kidding?
I’m going to cuddle up on a bear rug. Don’t ask.
It’s graphic, but I’m sure you get it. I’m in love, and I have a chance to find me.
I can’t come back until I do. For now, I’m going to be with the love of my life.
I hope I don’t see you soon. I have some living to do. Finally.”
Getting up, he patted the stone and closed his eyes.
“Bye, Mommy. I miss you. I wish I had you longer. It was way too short.”
Then, with that, he left the little boy there with his mother, and faced life as the man he’d begun crafting, slowly, and carefully.
As he walked back to Gene, his man held out his hand waiting for him. Immediately, Ethan took it.
“You good?” his man asked.
Instead, Ethan kissed him.
Oh, and it was one hell of a kiss.
When he broke it, he grinned.
“I’ll be better after lying on a bear rug in front of a fire. Know where I can find one?” he asked.
He laughed.
And laughed.
And laughed.
“Oh, EJ, I know the perfect bear rug. Trust and believe that he wants you lying on him.”
“Good,” Ethan said. “Let’s go.”
That was all he had to hear.
Loading his man up into the car, he glanced back when he saw motion not far from where Ethan had been. At first, he wasn’t sure who it would be, but then, he came into focus.
It was Callen, and he, too, was holding flowers.
When the man put his hand over his heart, Gene got it. He wanted him to take Ethan as far from there as possible.
And he would.
Message was received.
He nodded one last time and got into the car.
And then, he drove Ethan away from there like his life depended on it.
Maybe it did.
One day, they might be back.
But probably not for a long time.
Sometimes, the best thing you could do for someone you loved was to help them escape.
And that was exactly what he was going to do.
For.
His.
Man.