Chapter 3
Chapter Three
ELIZABETH
Three Years Later
A Bitch Named Fate
I’m sitting outside a café in Venice, watching the gondolas float by in the canal, the rhythmic lapping of water against stone providing a tranquil backdrop to the voices of people walking past. It’s one of those summer afternoons where you think the sky couldn’t get any bluer and the sun couldn’t get any brighter.
It’s one of those perfect days you cherish because you know tomorrow may bring rain.
The waiter stops in front of me, holding a tray with a glass of red wine on it.
“ Complimenti del signore ,” he says and nods over to the man sitting a few tables over.
The man tips his head and salutes me with his wineglass.
“ Gigli grazie, ma no grazie ,” I reply to the waiter.
He graciously acknowledges my refusal and takes the glass of red wine to the man at his table. The man frowns at my rejection of his offered drink. I shrug with a smile and go back to drinking my coffee.
My phone chimes. I read the text message that just came in and smile at the picture Marcus sent me. He, Christopher, and Charlotte are part of a human pyramid with Grant and Nicholas, Julien and Elijah’s boys. They’re spending the week on Topsail Island while I’m in Italy.
I touch my children’s smiling faces, my heart full at the sight.
Marcus recently turned nineteen and Christopher seventeen.
Charlotte will celebrate her fifteenth birthday in a few months.
She is so smart and has the kindest heart of anyone I know.
Ryder always used to say that she got that from me.
I think the opposite. There is no bigger or more beautiful heart than my husband’s.
Marcus is a little mini-me of his father, and after graduating high school last year, he transitioned into Ryder’s role at the garage, focusing on repairs and custom work, as well as running the shop.
Christopher plans to follow in his father’s footsteps and get his MBA from our alma mater, Carolina University, so he can help his brother manage the business side of things. And business has been good.
When Ryder took over Randy’s Custom Auto from his father, he expanded the business and started his own motocross team. About fifteen years ago, he also bought the Fields from Mr. Jacoby’s grandson and turned it into a proper motocross track where several sanctioned events are held every year.
After Christopher was born, Daniel and Drew moved to North Carolina to live closer to me and the kids. Even in their mid-sixties, they are still stars in the technology world and are both currently in Singapore speaking at a tech conference.
Charlotte and Grant recently started dating, something I wasn’t ready for but knew was coming.
It’s been wonderful watching my daughter and Julien’s boys grow up together, her relationship with them so similar to what I had with Ryder, Julien, and Jayson.
The three of them have been thick as thieves their entire lives.
I hope that’s where the similarities end, and my history doesn’t repeat itself with my daughter.
A couple weeks ago, my children surprised me with the gift of a two-week trip to Italy. They packed my bags, drove me to the airport, gave me tons of kisses and hugs, and then shoved me toward the security gate and told me to have some fun.
Fun has not been part of my life for years.
It’s been thirty-one long, lonely months since I lost my beloved husband.
But those thirty-one months will never compare to the twenty years of happiness and love that Ryder showered me with every day.
We never took a single day with one another for granted.
We filled every second with love and laughter, happiness and joy.
We made a beautiful life together, which became even better once our children were born.
I used to see Jayson once a year when we would visit Elizabeth Ann’s gravesite on her birthday.
He and I would sit on a blanket and talk to our little girl.
We’d read her stories, sing her songs, and bury the letters we each wrote to her.
We’d cry and hug, and then Jayson would walk away, returning to the life he finally made for himself in California.
Jayson never came to see Ryder when he was sick.
He didn’t come to his funeral. That same year, he stopped coming to Elizabeth Ann’s gravesite.
It’s been three years since I saw him last. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to forgive me for choosing Ryder.
I wish things could be different between us, but there’s only so much heartbreak one person can endure. I don’t blame him. I never did.
Jayson eventually married a woman he met in San Francisco.
They have one child, a girl named Bethany.
I hope he’s happy. I hope he knows deep down how true my love for him was.
Even now, after so many years, I feel the loss of his friendship as keenly as I do Hailey and my parents.
Jayson was my first love, and that will never change.
But Ryder was my forever love. I miss my husband beyond expression.
I miss his golden-amber eyes and the way his smile would leave me breathless.
I miss the deep sound of his voice and how my heart would skip a beat every time he called me sweetheart.
I miss his kisses and the way his arms would wrap around me and hold me tight, like he would never let me go.
I miss his smell and the scruff of his stubble.
I miss the feel of his muscled body against mine as we made love.
I miss falling asleep in his strong arms and waking up to his handsome face grinning at me, his eyes filled with love every time he looked at me.
I miss the way he held me when we danced under the moonlight.
I miss the sound of his voice when he sang to me.
I miss the way he would kiss my tears away.
I miss his laughter. I miss the way he loved me with every part of his heart.
My soul will forever yearn for my husband every day for the rest of my life.
Before I was coerced into my trip to Italy, my children sat down and talked to me.
Marcus said, “Mom, it’s time. You need to start living again.”
Christopher added, “We love you so much, Mom. We will always love Dad. We know he would want you to find happiness again.”
My sweet angel girl cupped my face in her hands and whispered to me, “Go be happy, Mama. You have so many more next times to live.”
A couple’s laughter a few tables down intrudes into my thoughts.
My hand reaches down and touches my heart locket, the one Jayson gave me in remembrance of our daughter.
I finger my wedding bands. The yellow diamond engagement ring and the eternity band my precious Ryder gave to me after singing his version of “Love Song,” along with the ring he slipped onto my finger the day he took my hand and made a vow to love me forever.
“Hey, baby,” I tell him, talking to him like I do every day. “Do you recognize where I am? It’s the café you took me to when we were in Venice. I still can’t believe you flew halfway around the world to find me. I love you, handsome. I miss you.”
A gentle breeze dances around the table, and I can feel Ryder’s warmth envelop me. He’s always with me no matter where I am.
I hear his voice in the wind as he whispers back to me, “You are the love of my life, sweet Elizabeth. But it’s time for you to move on.
You have so much love to give. Remember what Julien used to say about how you had an infinite capacity for love?
You have so much more life to experience.
Enjoy the adventure, sweetheart. I love you, baby. It’s time.”
I take in a shuddering breath and swipe at the tears spilling down my cheeks.
Sometimes, the loneliness I feel is devastating.
It’s hard to wake up in the mornings, knowing Ryder isn’t there.
I still reach for him in bed. I’ll be doing something and catch myself talking to him as if he’s physically right there next to me.
My children are the only reason I haven’t given up. I now live for them.
As I’m reaching for my coffee, a shadow falls across the table. The hairs on my arms raise, and my skin erupts into gooseflesh.
It’s not possible. It can’t be.
My heart lurches, a tangled mess of memories, the years falling away and stripping me down to the girl I was so long ago. I feel him behind me in the quiet way the world seems to stop.
“Hey, Kitten.”
His voice sends my pulse racing.
I turn in my seat, the sight of Fallon standing a few feet away making the erratically beating organ inside my chest thrash about like a trapped bird frantic to break free from its cage.
After over two years of feeling the numbing loss of my husband, the emotions I’m feeling right now at the sight of him are almost too painful to bear.
Fallon’s gaze roams slowly over my face, lingering on every detail.
His aquamarine eyes are sharper than I remember, the crystalline blue of his irises like winter ice catching a flash of sunlight.
He studies me with an intensity that makes my pulse skip, tracing my features, taking in every part of me—my lips, my green eyes, my long blonde hair that I refuse to cut because Ryder loved to tangle his fingers in it.
“I stayed away as long as I could, Kitten. I couldn’t wait any longer.”
His nickname for me stirs a forgotten part of my soul, a place I thought had withered and disappeared a long time ago. The sound of it cracks open something raw and unguarded, and my voice struggles to find its way out.
“How did you know where I was?”
It’s been twenty-four years since I saw him, and he still looks the same as the day I last laid eyes on him—the day I married Ryder.
His hands disappear inside his trouser pockets, and he leans back slightly, a familiar smirk forming.
“You know I have my ways.”