Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
ELIZABETH
Firecracker
“You had SEX !”
Oh my god . Kill me now. My face spontaneously combusts into the reddest shade of color ever imagined.
“Jesus Christ, Mer. I can’t take you anywhere,” Bryce says from behind her, and my mortification increases a thousandfold. I’m so thankful my kids aren’t here right now.
Meredith’s high-pitched squeal has my ears ringing. “She has a hickey! Look, Bryce!”
I do? My hand comes up over my neck. Is this why Fallon keeps looking at me with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face? Holy hell. I can’t let Charlotte or Christopher see me with hickeys. I won’t be able to look my kids in the eyes ever again.
“Nice of you to drop by unannounced. Sorry you have to leave now,” I say sardonically, shutting the door on her.
After they got married, she and Bryce bought a house in Fuquay-Varina, about forty minutes from here. It’s nice being able to see her often. Now? Maybe not so much since she just embarrassed the crap out of me.
Meredith shoves the door wide open and tackles me in a bear hug. She’s wearing heels today, so her head reaches my collarbone. She’s kept her pixie bob haircut all these years but changes things up by dyeing it all sorts of colors. Purple is the color for this month.
“I am so sorry about her,” Bryce apologizes for his crazy wife.
As soon as Meredith releases me—all happy, knowing grins—Fallon walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle. It’s like he can’t go five minutes without touching me in some way. I lean back against him, loving every freaking second of his attention.
Before Meredith and Bryce arrived, Fallon and I had been cuddled on the sofa together, talking about nothing and everything while we waited for Charlotte and Christopher to come home for dinner.
It felt so damn domestic. As we talked, I ran my fingers through his hair, amazed that I could touch him like that now.
“Hey, man. Welcome back,” Bryce says to Fallon.
He and Fallon greet each other like they are old friends. I didn’t even know that they knew one another.
Meredith yanks on my arm. “Dirty deets. Now,” she states, pulling me away from Fallon.
She grins wide at him and winks, then quickly drags me through the house and out the back door onto the veranda. I’m unceremoniously pushed down into one of the rockers. Meredith may be small, but she is mighty.
“Talk.”
I point my bare toe to the floor and give my rocking chair a push.
Ryder and I would spend almost every evening out here.
Every morning, too. Quiet times, just the two of us.
Our backyard is huge. We planned it that way so our children could have space to play and run.
Over the years, we’ve added things. Ryder built himself a working garage on the left side of the property.
He added onto the house on the east side and built me a music studio much like the one Dad had at our old house on Fallen Brook Drive.
Our children grew up loving both things: cars and music.
Charlotte can fix an engine and race a car just as well as her brothers can, and they all know how to play the piano, drums, and guitar. Charlotte also plays the violin.
I planted a butterfly garden, which spread over the years to encompass the entire outside perimeter of the house.
I love looking out any window, no matter which room I’m in, and seeing bees, butterflies, and hummingbirds during the late spring through early fall.
I also have a small vegetable garden where I plant seasonal vegetables like string beans, tomatoes, peppers, and okra.
I’m proud of the home Ryder and I created. Because that’s what it is. A home . One where love and precious memories are woven into every room, like an intricate cross-stitch.
“The purple looks good on you.”
Meredith’s eyes taper suspiciously. “Do you know how many fantasies I had about Fallon when we were in college? That man played center stage in my spank bank for years.”
My nose wrinkles. “I really did not need to hear that.”
She ignores me. “So you better tell me if he is as good as my imagination always said he would be.”
I mime zipping my lips just to wind her up. And three, two, one…
“Elizabeth! I hate you right now.”
“No, you don’t.”
She pouts, and I emit a belly laugh.
Meredith points at me. “And that right there tells me that the sex was life-altering. You haven’t laughed or smiled, not once, for years.”
That sobers me up instantly because she’s right. And knowing that she’s right fills me with monumental shame. How could I let myself fall into such a deep depression? What kind of mother have I been the last three years? A piss-poor one. My kids deserved better.
“Hey, whatever I said that put that frown on your face, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push. I’m just so happy for you.”
“It’s not that. It’s just…” I look out across the backyard to where the dragonflies are flitting about, swooping up and down on wind currents as they try to catch mosquitoes. “I didn’t realize how bad I’d gotten. How sad I’ve been. I failed our kids. Ryder must be so disappointed in me.”
“You have been a fantastic mother. Never doubt that for one second. Those kids love you to the moon and back,” she immediately refutes.
I shake off the helpless feeling and change the subject. “How’s Piper?”
Piper is her six-month-old granddaughter.
Meredith and Bryce have two girls, Mandi and Becca.
I laughed my ass off when she first told me Mandi was pregnant, whining about not being old enough to be a grandma.
It’s now become a running joke for me to give her things like reading glasses or knitting needles and yarn.
She is never amused by my gifts, but I think they’re funny as hell.
“She’s wild, just like her mom and grandma,” Meredith replies, pride in her words.
Meredith has continued to live up to her nickname of Firecracker.
Before Ryder got sick, she and I had a standing girls’ night out every month.
Ryder knew to be on call those nights because Meredith had a way of getting us into trouble.
Elijah’s dad had to call in a few favors to get me out of being arrested on several occasions. Mer and I should start that up again.
“Are you really not going to tell me?” she says, sounding despondent.
She’s one of my best friends, and I love her to death, but I’m not going to tell her what happened with Fallon earlier.
“I haven’t slept with him.” Yet. But lord, that man knows how to kiss.
“Well, why the hell not?” she exclaims. “Girl, jump on that dick quick. The stories I’ve heard?—”
“ Shut up , Mer.”
I’m saved from the rest of what I know would have been a highly inappropriate tirade when the back door opens. The guys come out carrying what looks like cocktails in each hand and set them on the small patio table.
Bryce takes a rocker next to Meredith. Fallon, however, lifts me up and sits himself down in my seat, settling me on his lap sideways so my legs dangle over the rocker arm. He leans over and picks up one of the cocktails and holds it in front of me.
“Something I learned to make in Australia. It’s called an Aussie Beach Blond. Orange juice, Bacardi rum, orange liqueur, passion fruit, and lime juice.”
That sounds delicious. “How on earth did you make this?” The only alcohol I keep on hand is beer, and passion fruit is not something I buy at the grocery store.
“A little something extra I packed into the picnic basket.”
I take the glass from him and take a sip. Meredith has already chugged hers down like water.
“So, Fallon, long time, no see. How are you?” she asks him in a singsong voice.
“Good.”
I know that look on her face. It spells trouble. It’s the look she gets when she’s about to say something that will embarrass the shit out of me.
I shush her. “No.”
Her doe-brown eyes widen with mock shock. “What? I was just going to say?—”
“You finish that sentence, Mer, and I will dump my drink on you.”
“But—”
“No.”
My drink spills everywhere when she reaches over and pokes me in my side. I throw an orange slice at her. She retaliates by throwing it back at me.
“Are they always like this?” Fallon asks Bryce.
“Wait until they’ve had a few beers. That’s when it really gets interesting.”
Meredith directs her outrage at her husband. “You swore yourself to secrecy, Bryce Campbell! No tattling on your wife and her best friend.”
Wriggling, I readjust myself in Fallon’s lap, the wet material of my T-shirt sticking uncomfortably to my skin.
Fallon bends to my ear and whispers, “Elizabeth.”
“What?”
“Keep still.”
Pure lust jolts me when I feel the hard length of him against my ass. Not able to control myself, I rotate my hips ever so slowly—then yelp when he abruptly stands up and hefts me over his shoulder.
“Put me down!” I try to say, but I’m laughing too hard.
“Show yourselves out,” he tells Meredith and Bryce and carries me into the house.
Meredith pops off the rocker and follows us. “I’ve got to see this.”
But Fallon kicks the door closed and quickly locks it before setting me down on the counter island. His hands mold to my thighs, spreading them wide, and I hook them around his waist as he settles his large body between them.
“Hi.” I giggle up at him.
He tenderly caresses the backs of his knuckles down my hair, tucking the loose strands behind my ear. “Hi back.”
Meredith’s fist pounds on the glass. “You better call me later!”
“She’s a little nosy.”
“You have no idea,” I reply. Needing to touch him, I let my hands roam across the breadth of his shoulders. “But it comes from a place of love.”
“Didn’t she and Trev have a thing back in college?” he asks, flattening his hands on the countertop on either side of me and leaning in, his beautiful mouth scant millimeters from mine.
“Yeah.”
Realizing things weren’t going anywhere with Trevor, Meredith started dating her dormmate Sara’s older brother, Bryce. And once Austin came into the picture, Trevor didn’t stand a chance. The two of them circled one another for years before they finally gave in to their feelings.
I bunch the hem of Fallon’s shirt up, exposing a peek of tanned skin and toned abdominals, and my mouth waters at the sight.
Pressing my nose into the cotton of his shirt, I breathe him in.
I remember how the pillowcase on his bed at the frat house smelled like lemon, ginger, and bergamot.
His scent is different now. More spice and cedarwood than citrus.
“What are you doing?” he asks when I sniff him.
“Making a memory of how good you smell.”
After losing my memories of the first eighteen years of my life for over a year, I’m compelled to catalog everything: every sight, smell, touch, taste, and sound.
“I love how you see things,” he says, gently holding my face. “How you see me.”
His lips take mine with urgency, and it’s like I’m both falling and flying at the same time, a feather at the mercy of the wind.
As soon as I open for him, his tongue slips inside on a quiet moan that could have been from me or from him, maybe from both of us.
Fallon devastates me with every stroke of his tongue, and I moan at the loss of his lips when he pulls back.
“I love the way you kiss me,” I profess, entranced by him.
“Mom! We’re— oh .”
Pushing Fallon away, I jump off the island like a startled cat when Charlotte walks in, Grant right behind her.
Acting as if my daughter didn’t walk in on me and Fallon in what could be construed as a compromising position, I smooth down my shirt and hurriedly start taking things out of the refrigerator.
“I was thinking we could have a light dinner. How does a chef’s salad sound?”
I turn around, and Charlotte is right there , eyes squinted with narrow focus on my neck.
“Is that a hickey ?”