Chapter 9 #2
“The DAU offered to relocate you when you first approached them, didn’t they?” Shepherd supplies, urging me to start from the beginning. As much as I’d rather avoid recounting any of those dark years of my life, this could be what they need to realize how unworthy I am of their love.
“They did, but I didn’t accept. It was tempting—the thought of being free—but the risk was too great.
What would have happened to Omen if I hadn’t been there to get her to the DAU?
” I don’t have to explain how horrific that would have been for my sister.
She’s an Omega, the designation our father hates most. He would have broken her beyond repair.
“I went back to protect her. She was only eleven when I became an informant, but there were already signs of what she would present as. Small ones, thankfully, ones only someone paying close enough attention would notice.”
Every time I think back on the years before I married Colin, I find myself grateful my parents were so uninterested in Omen.
Father only cared to torment her, and Mother loathed her from the day she was born.
If they had spent more time with her, watched her a little closer, they might have seen the same signs I did.
Then they would have taken her from me before I could help her.
“You married Colin before Omen presented?”
I nod, grabbing my water from the coffee table and taking a long drink.
That is one day I absolutely do not want to remember.
Shuddering, I force myself to focus on the present.
Parts of my past need to stay buried for my mental health.
“Arranged marriages are commonplace in communities like the one I grew up in. They are a way for the leaders to control what designations emerge within their population. Strong Beta pairings are supposed to lead to Beta children.”
Foster snorts, his eyes rolling. “Anyone with a basic understanding of biology knows that isn’t how it works.”
“Schools in New Hampshire intentionally avoid covering any designation-related materials. Their science and health curriculum is pre-emergence. Books written over a hundred years ago that are practically irrelevant today. My father helped design the coursework that way, ensuring the church was responsible for teaching everyone how to recognize an Alpha or an Omega before they presented. Though I never understood how they got away with it on a federal level.”
“Money.” Shepherd shrugs his shoulders. “The answer is always money. That’s the only way any of the anti-designation groups get away with expanding their baseless ideologies.”
Sadly, that is likely the case. The Montgomery cult had many wealthy members, from senators to scientists and everywhere in between.
Most of them were as vile as my parents, and several were worse.
Thinking about them makes me want to cling to Kaitlin tighter, like I can protect her from the dark parts of this world.
That’s the thing about evil; it seeps into everything it touches. No one can avoid its reach forever.
“So getting married wasn’t your choice?” Foster asks.
I snort, head shaking. “Absolutely not. He is twice my age, and he’s a terrible person. He bought into my father’s false prophetry with enthusiasm. Always following him around like a puppy begging for attention. Colin accepted the marriage only to get closer to him.”
Foster’s brows pinch, the corners of his lips turning down the tiniest bit. “Was he mean to you? Colin?”
Biting my cheek, I hesitate to answer. When we started this conversation, I wanted them to know the true depths of the baggage I carry. But can I bring myself to speak about my marriage? Will they find me weak for choosing to stay in a loveless marriage?
“Colin was… indifferent? Our life together was a checklist of societal expectations he had to meet, at least in the church’s eyes.
When we were first wed, every interaction we had was transactional.
We rarely spoke, coexisting in the same space and accompanying each other at public events.
Things likely would have stayed that way if my parents hadn’t pressured him about us having children.
A male heir to the Montgomery name is important to them.
How can their cult reshape humanity if there is no one to lead it after they pass? ”
Shepherd grabs our empty snack bowls and takes them to the kitchen, refilling my water while he is there. He takes a moment to shut off the TV before sitting back down. “Doesn’t your brother fill that role?”
Disgust wrinkles my nose as I think about my little brother.
Benjamin Montgomery is certainly our father’s child.
Holding the same ideals and cruel inclinations.
An insatiable hatred of those outside of the community.
“He did until he presented as an Alpha. Father will not accept an heir unless they are a Beta. Ben and his wife could produce a male Beta, but he still wouldn’t be accepted.
” I glance down, meeting Foster’s eyes again.
“Remember how Omen mentioned that our brother is the Alpha who rejected her mate’s sister?
After he mated her, our father was furious.
Ready to disown him and allow Doctor Harrison to experiment on him.
Ben knew this would happen, so he took the initiative and asked the doctor to perform a knot removal surgery. ”
Shepherd winces, instinctively holding his legs closer together at the imagined pain such a procedure would cause.
Removing a knot is not natural. When designations first arose, many tried to get rid of theirs.
Many deaths and severe disfigurements later, the government outlawed them.
Not that New Hampshire’s mad scientist cares about breaking the law.
He wouldn’t be working with my father if he cared about morality or legality.
“The surgery did not go as planned, obviously. He was left impotent, a side effect of the pain he experienced when his knot tried to swell during intercourse. The only way he and Jacqueline can have children is through IVF, which isn’t accepted by the church as a natural form of birth.
Meaning that any child they produce is automatically ineligible to become the heir. ”
Understanding dawns on Foster’s face, his disgust quickly matching my own. “And since you and Colin are both Betas, that makes you their only option for succession.”
Shrugging, I admit he’s right. I refuse to allow my family to take either of my children from me. They will not be forced to fill a role in their cult. Not while there is still breath in my body.
We sit in silence for several long minutes before anyone speaks again. It isn’t uncomfortable; rather, it’s a time for each of us to collect our thoughts.
“So why didn’t you leave when Omen presented? You stayed to protect her after joining the DAU as an informant, but you could have left when she did?”
“I wanted to make sure they would not follow her. If I could help the DAU stay one step ahead of them, I could make sure they’d never find her.
The plan was to wait a few months and then disappear in the night to join her, but-” I pause, eyes falling on my baby girl where she snores softly against my side.
“I found out I was pregnant a month after Omen left. My parents must have been paranoid I would try to leave, too, because I never got a moment alone after they realized. There was one night when Kaitlin was only a few weeks old. She was a little colicky and wouldn’t settle for the night. Colin was irate. He hit me then.”
Shepherd growls, the sound vibrating through the room with an intensity that makes my skin crawl. “That’s the only time he’s hit me,” I promise, trying to soothe his instincts. He narrows his eyes at me, but nods and swallows down the noise.
“After Colin left for work the next morning, I started making plans to escape. I had my burner phone out and ready to dial the DAU’s number when my front door opened to reveal my mother stopping by for an unannounced visit.
She didn’t see any evidence, but she still knew what I was planning.
She made sure I would never try to run again.
Used Kaitlin as a hostage any time she thought my belief was slipping.
Until this summer, she and the rest of the church watched us vigilantly.
There were always eyes on us. Only after she learned that this little one-” I put one hand on my stomach, pressing gently against the side where my little bean likes to kick.
“-is a boy did she let up enough for us to get away.”
This admission only makes Shepherd tenser. His hands clench into tight fists, and his scent takes on a smokier, thicker quality. “So they're going to come after you? After him?”
Nodding, I worry my lip between my teeth. That is my greatest fear. Colin and my parents getting their hands on this baby after he is born. Stealing him from my arms before my body can heal.
Soft fingers brush against my lips, pulling the abused flesh free.
“We won’t let that happen,” Foster swears.
Anger and possessiveness swirl in the depths of his aquamarine eyes.
I should be afraid of the intensity of his feelings, but seeing his emotions so clearly displayed only makes me feel protected.