Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
My boss at the hospital called yesterday and asked me to come in for a meeting. As I drive across town, I already know what she’s going to ask. I’ve been on leave for months now, focusing on Hannah and the kids. Do I plan to come back to work?
The question has been running in circles through my mind.
I love helping others, and working as a nurse enabled me to do that.
The long hours weren’t an issue when Shepherd worked as much in his undercover operations, but things are different now.
We have a daughter at home, a pregnant mate to care for, and one day soon, we’ll have a newborn to cuddle.
I still have my work with the community center and the DAU, so it isn’t like I’m abandoning my dreams. Just adjusting to focus on what is most important.
After the meeting, all I feel is relief.
I quit, leaving my position open for one of the hospital’s many applicants to take.
It feels right. Good, even. The lack of doubt and guilt tells me I’ve made the right choice.
Pulling out my phone to call Hannah and ask if she wants me to grab lunch, I frown when I see a calendar notification on the screen.
Is there an event happening this week that I forgot about?
Swiping it open, I nearly drop my phone when it loads.
Holy. Shit. How the hell did I not realize?
Fuck, that isn’t good.
Instead of dialing Hannah, I call Shepherd. He is meeting with Donovan today to go over some things, but answers after the first ring. “What’s wrong, Omega?”
“H-heat. I just got the notification, I should start pre-heat soon.”
The swearing I expect never comes. His steady voice fills the line instead, full of heat. “I can’t wait to spend days stuffing your pretty ass with my knot.”
Dammit, now I’m leaking slick. I was not prepared to be turned on in public today!
“Shepherd! Ugh, you know I want that too, but Hannah!”
He hums, reassurance pulsing down our bond and helping to calm me from the burgeoning panic building in my mind. “Talk to her. She can’t take part this time, but she’ll understand. Heats are a fact of life with an Omega mate, Baby.”
“I know that,” I grumble as I climb into the car. My head leans against the steering wheel, a hundred what-ifs flying through my brain. “The timing, though. She could go into labor any day. Maybe I should use suppressants.”
“No,” he growls. I swear he can feel my wince at the thought of using drugs to skip my heat. I’ve tried using them before, when I was at the Omega Academy, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. The way they made me feel… it was awful enough that I never want to repeat it.
But if I have to choose between bad suppressant side effects and missing our son’s birth, the choice is simple. I’ll suffer through anything as long as I can be by Hannah’s side.
“Go home and talk to our mate. Tell her about your experience with the suppressants and your upcoming heat. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
My head bobs in agreement, and I mindlessly start the car. Panicking won’t help the situation, but getting home to my angel might.
I’m still fretting over things when I walk through our apartment door half an hour later. A tiny body collides with my legs, and Kaitlin beams up at me. “Foster’s home! Mommy’s making us grilled cheese!”
Worries bleed away as I sweep her into my arms and tickle her sides. The sound of her laughter drowns out the thoughts screaming in my mind. “Grilled cheese, huh? Your favorite!”
“Oh, you’re back early!” Hannah exclaims as we spin into the kitchen. Her smile is the most beautiful part of my day. I can’t help but press a quick kiss to her lips, making her grin grow wider. “I’m making lunch. Would you like some?”
I’m hungry, but not for food, is what I want to say, but I can’t, not with little ears listening in.
“You two eat. I’ll heat something later.”
Hannah finishes plating their food and sends Kaitlin to wash her hands.
“What’s wrong?” She asks, wrapping her arms around my waist. I spin her so that her back is to my chest and drop my hands to the bottom of her baby bump.
She groans when I hold the weight, face buried against her throat, so I’m pressed as far against her body as I can be.
“My heat should be starting soon.” The words are muffled against her skin, but she hears them all the same.
I peek my eye open to study her face when she’s quiet for too long.
Her lip is trapped between her teeth, and her eyes are closed.
“I know you can’t be there. Both because of this little one, and because you aren’t ready yet. ”
“But you want me to be there?” she asks in a whisper.
Pressing my lips to her shoulder, I nod. “I do. When you’re ready.”
“So, what do we need to do to prepare? Do you have your heat here? I can cook for you.”
Smiling, I pepper kisses up her throat and jaw until I reach the corner of her lips. “I love you, Angel.”
Her eyes pop open and lock on me. “Y-you love me?”
“Mmm, more than anything. And it’s because of that love that I can’t have my heat here. I would lose my mind knowing you were nearby and not having you in the nest with me.”
Kaitlin ambles into the room and gives us an odd look as she shakes her hands. “Eats now?”
I let Hannah go, and grab both plates to carry to the table. She’s still standing in the same spot when I get Kait settled. “Come eat, Angel. We’ll figure everything else out when our Alpha gets home.”
While they eat, I wash the dishes and clean off the stove. I want there to be no chores to distract my Beta from cuddling with me for the rest of the afternoon. If I have to be away from her for my heat, I want to spend every free moment until then with her in my arms.
Shepherd walks through the door a little after three.
The frustrated expression on his face melts away when our princess greets him with the same hug she gave me earlier.
“Good afternoon, Princess. How was your day?” He joins us on the couch while he listens to Kaitlin chatter.
She quickly gets bored with our cuddle pile and dives back into her toys, leaving the three of us wrapped around each other.
“I spoke with Donovan. He’s going to assign an agent to guard you while we’re away for the heat,” he tells Hannah. My lip wobbles, worries crashing back in, and a purr rattles to life in his chest. “They’ll be safe. The DAU won’t let anything happen.”
“Where will you go?” Hannah asks as she runs her hands through my hair, nails scraping along my scalp. It feels amazing and makes me melt onto her legs.
Shepherd joins her in turning me into a puddle of Omega by rubbing his hands up and down my back beneath my tank top.
I bury a groan against Hannah’s thigh when he digs into a tight spot between my shoulder blades.
“A heat hotel.” He explains more, but the words are static in my ears as I get lost between their touches.
I’m half asleep when Shep shoves my phone into my hands, and steps away. “Find us a helper,” he commands. “Hannah can help you pick. I’m on dinner duty. Want to help me make a salad, Princess?”
When they’re both gone, I roll to a sitting position and scoot close to Hannah’s side. My head meets the back of the couch, my body still limp from being so relaxed.
“What does finding a helper mean?”
I peek one eye open and navigate to the Heat Helper app on my phone.
“Heat helpers are volunteers who assist single Omegas with their heats. They are carefully vetted and use rut-blockers. Omegas with only one mate can also use the app to find helpers. That’s what we do with my heats.
We find a Beta to help us through the heat. ”
“Your instincts are okay with having strangers there?” she asks, curiosity lining her tone.
“Sometimes. Most of the time, I’m so lost in the heat that I don’t care. Some Beta helpers only sign up for caretaking roles. Making sure the Omegas and their partners eat and shower, things like that. Others participate sexually, which can give the Alphas time to sleep between knottings.”
With the app loaded, I show her the different ways I can narrow a search for a helper.
Designation, sexual orientation, kinks, any preferences a person can have are included as a toggle option for the search.
I flip through them quickly, having saved them from my last heat.
The only change I make is to switch off the option for female helpers.
The only pussy I’ll be sinking into is the one beside me.
We swipe through the helpers who fit my requests together. Seeing how alike and different our tastes are is an entertaining experience, and reminds me of the abuse my angel has suffered. She isn’t as willing to trust others as I am, even ones vetted by the Heat Helper team.
“Oh, what about him?” she asks, tapping my screen to enlarge the picture.
A male Beta fills the screen. Cool chestnut skin paired with dark brown hair. A light stubble covers his jaw, and two black studs sit on his ears. What pulls me in are his eyes. They’re a light blue that leans toward purple.
I back out of the picture and scan his information.
He’s older, almost forty, though his age doesn’t show in his pictures.
His history of heat helping runs back to a few months after the app was invented fifteen years ago.
Scrolling back up, I frown when I see he’s listed as being single.
How has a man this attractive never found a partner?
The logical part of my brain swears there has to be something wrong with him, but my instincts scream “yes, please!” drowning those thoughts out before they can convince me to pass him by. I screenshot his profile, and send it to Shepherd before quickly closing out of the app.
My heart is racing, and I’m so hard it’s unbelievable. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“I think you picked a good one,” Hannah murmurs, stretching beside me. “His eyes looked sad. Lonely. But kind, too.”