Chapter Nine #3
He wanted her to know.
“I do not regret them,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“But I never meant to force myself upon you. My lady, I am not sure if you are aware or not, but I have been attracted to you from the start of our association. You spoke of joining the cloister, and never marrying, and I accepted your choices, but it did not stop my attraction. Last night… I am so very sorry the drink caused me to lose my self-control. That is the only thing I am sorry over. But based on the evidence of our activities last night in this bed, it would seem that you and I have a few things to discuss. I never meant to treat you so callously.”
It was a polite, kind answer and Alessandria’s heart swelled with joy.
He feels something for me! “You did not treat me callously,” she said.
“I… I will admit that I do not remember everything we did but I do know this – I wanted you to do what you did. As you have found attraction to me, so have I found it to you. You are a handsome and kind and chivalrous man. There is a great deal to be attracted to, so please do not apologize for what happened. I do not regret it in the least. But you are correct – we have a few things to discuss, not the least of which is the fact that I am no longer… well, you know….”
Chad did, indeed, know. No longer a virgin. He scratched his neck in a rather nervous gesture but when he looked at Alessandria and saw that she was grinning rather slyly, he burst out into reluctant laughter.
“This is very serious,” he said, trying to control his laughter. “We should not be treating this situation so casually. The fact of the matter is that I must marry you now and you told me that you did not intend to marry. What should I do?”
She reached out from beneath the covers, touching his hand that was resting on the coverlet. Her fingers wrapped around his as he lifted her hand, bringing it to his lips for a sweet kiss.
“I said that I did not wish to marry before I came to know you,” she said softly. “That opinion has now changed.”
He lifted his eyebrows, surprised. “It has?”
She nodded, coyly. “It has,” she confirmed. “Moreover, what is done… is done. We cannot take it back. I would not want to. But I do not want you to feel as if you are forced into marriage, Chad. That would not be good for either of us.”
He shook his head, still holding her hand.
“I do not feel forced into anything,” he said.
“As the heir of Canterbury, I will be the earl upon my father’s death and it is my duty to provide a son to perpetuate the family.
I had to marry some time. I have never found a worthy candidate until I found you. ”
“Are you sure?”
“Never more sure about anything in my life.”
“You are not saying it simply because… because of what happened last night? Do you feel obligated now?”
“I do not feel any sense of obligation. What I do is of my own free will.”
Alessandria was certain that if her heart swelled any more from sheer delight that it would burst. She squeezed his hand and he kissed her fingers again, their warm gazes locked in the dim light of the room.
Everything was so wonderful and serene, happiness such as they had never known cloaking them like a mist, penetrating. They were giddy with it.
It was happiness they were sharing together at this very special moment, unexpected yet welcome.
The situation could have been so much worse and in that relief, there was elation.
There was the understanding that the feelings between them were plain and that last night’s passion had only been a prelude to a lifetime of it. But soon, Alessandria’s smile faded.
“What of Henry?” she asked. “You said that he wants to marry me to one of his knights. What shall you do?”
Chad shrugged. “I will marry you and that will take care of the situation,” he said. “Henry cannot do anything to dissolve our marriage.”
“But he will be angry.”
“That cannot be helped.”
Alessandria wasn’t sure she felt better about that particular part of the situation but he seemed fairly resolute.
“Shouldn’t you ask your father first?” she said.
“He may not want you to marry me, after all. He did not want me to stay at Canterbury because of the king and if you wish to marry me, he may not approve. He may not want anything to do with me.”
Chad frowned. “Are you trying to discourage me?”
She shook her head quickly. “Of course not,” she said, trying to be logical and reasonable about the situation.
“I have never dreamt of having a husband or being married. Truthfully, I never thought I would have the opportunity which is why my intention was to join the cloister. All of this is happening so quickly… we are being impetuous, you know. Everyone will think so, including your father.”
Chad knew that. He squeezed her hand and stood up from the bed.
“Whether or not we are being impetuous, all of that was decided last night when we’d both had too much to drink and our feelings became evident,” he said.
“All I can tell you is that this feels like the right thing to do, whether I know you two days or two years. I will not turn you over to Henry and when we arrive at Isenhall, the first thing I shall do is ask Gallus for your hand. No one else is worthy of you, Aless, and it is my intention to make you my wife. I swear I will do all that I can to be a good husband.”
So much for trying to keep a level head about the situation.
Alessandria was swept up in his words, in the utter delight of knowing he wanted her and that she wanted him.
Was it love? She was fairly certain it was, for her at least. She wasn’t sure what he was feeling, perhaps only great affection, but in any case she was overjoyed at what had become of a drunken night.
Instead of ruining her future, it had cemented it.
“It is all happening so fast,” she repeated, her voice a soft murmur. “When you took me from Newington, all I wanted to do was go back. I wanted to go home. Now… I want to stay with you. Do you think that is love?”
He shrugged, averting his gaze. “Only you can determine if it is.”
“Do you love me?”
He looked at her, then, his gaze guarded.
“I do not know,” he said honestly. “Clearly, I hope that I will someday if I am going to marry you. I do not know what I am feeling, only that I cannot let you go. I must have you for my own, Aless. I cannot explain it any better than that.” He paused.
“Why would you ask such a question? Did… did I tell you I loved you last night?”
Her eyes twinkled. “You do not remember if you did or not?”
He shook his head, trying not to look too terribly ashamed. “If I told you that to try and coerce you into bed, then I am very sorry. It would have been a terribly manipulative thing to do.”
She bit her lip, trying not to laugh at him. “Rest assured, you did not tell me that you loved me,” she said. “But you did show me your buttocks.”
He clapped a hand to his forehead. “Great Bleeding Lucifer,” he groaned. “Did I drop my breeches again?”
Alessandria couldn’t help but laugh at him now. “Again?” she repeated. “That was not the first time?”
He turned his head, unable to look at her. “I have been known to do that when I have had too much to drink,” he said. “You may as well know that half of England has seen my lily-white arse.”
She laughed uncontrollably. “Lady du Bexley said that your buttocks looked like two unbaked bread loaves that she wanted to sink her teeth into.”
She was off in a fit of giggles while he cringed. “That woman?” he said, disgusted. “Christ, I hope I can leave this place without her saying something about it. The mere thought makes me shudder.”
“Then mayhap you should not drink so much in the future so your breeches will remain where they belong.”
He looked at her, then, giving her a half-grin. “I will try, I promise,” he said. “I would not want to embarrass you by displaying body parts only meant for my wife to see.”
She flushed deeply and the conversation died, but it was not unpleasant.
In fact, the mood was still quite warm and she gazed at him rather coyly, smiling up at him as if she had a very shocking secret.
He had much the same expression. They had said all that they needed to say and there wasn’t anything left now except to move forward, to proceed with the plans they had made.
Marriage.
Alessandria couldn’t believe it even as she thought on the word, over and over.
She never thought she would have the opportunity and with the whirlwind that had enveloped her in the past two days, she was still overwhelmed by all of it.
Her world had been the simplicity of the priority for so long, but for the past two days, it was as if she were living on another planet.
Perhaps a moonbeam had swept down to earth, taking her with it when it returned to the cold and bright moon. A dream state, to be sure.
It was the most marvelous feeling on earth.
“Then we must be on our way,” she said. “If you can find a servant to bring me warmed water, I can quickly dress and be ready to depart in little time.”
Chad kissed her hand one last time and climbed off the bed.
He thought she sounded eager to be on their way; truth was, he was eager, too.
The sooner he could speak with Gallus about marrying her, the better.
He didn’t want to wait. He wondered if, deep down, his sense of determination was fed by Henry’s resolve to take hold of Alessandria.
He didn’t want the king to get his hands on her.
But the more he thought on it, the more convinced he was that it had nothing to do with Henry and everything to do with him.
He, quite simply, wanted the woman. Nothing more, nothing less.
“I will find someone to send you water,” he said, moving for the door. But he paused before opening it and looked at her, embarrassed. “You said that I asked someone to bring us food last night?”
Alessandria nodded. “The majordomo.”
Chad pursed his lips, embarrassed to ask the next question. “What does he look like?”
Alessandria grinned. “He is a bald man.”
Chad blew out his cheeks, relieved. “That should make it a bit easier, then. I will return as soon as I can.”
Alessandria simply nodded and he winked at her before opening the door.
But instead of proceeding outside, he came to an abrupt halt, evidently looking at something in the doorway.
Curious, Alessandria sat up to see what he was looking at, just in time to see him picking something up from the floor.
The first thing he brought up was a bowl of cool water that smelled like roses.
It even had rose petals floating in it and he put it on a small table in the chamber.
The next thing he picked up was a tray that was covered with a cloth; when the cloth was pulled away, it revealed cheese and bread and the remainder of last night’s baked pears.
He set that on the table, too, as Alessandria gasped in delight.
The very last thing he picked up was a sack made of roughly woven hemp that contained more bread, more cheese, whole ripe pears, apricots, and a big hunk of cold beef that was wrapped tightly in leaves and tied off with twine.
“I do believe the majordomo remembered what I had asked of him even if I did not,” Chad said with some mirth, setting the bag of food down on the small table, which by now was very crowded.
“I will have to thank him and Lady du Bexley for their generosity. Now, I will go down to the stables now to make sure the horses are prepared. Please be ready to leave when I return.”
Alessandria nodded. “I will.”
His smile returned, his gaze upon her warm, as he quit the room and shut the door quietly behind him.
No sooner was the door shut than Alessandria was leaping out of the bed, completely nude, and gasping because the chamber was cold.
Even the weak fire in the hearth wasn’t enough to stave off the cold morning dew.
Hopping over to her satchel, which was still next to the door where Chad had placed it the night before, she went about preparing herself for the day to come.
It was odd, really. She had fine dresses, food to eat, and even soap to wash with, which was far more than she’d ever had at Newington.
There, mornings had been very simple with icy water to wash with and soap that was very rough on the skin, and rough woolen garments to wear to for both the day and the night.
It had been a plain and uncomfortable existence at that time, one that, until yesterday, she had been determined to return to.
Strange how her mind could be changed so swiftly.
Now, she had possessions and enough food to eat and a man who clearly adored her.
The old life in the priory seemed like years ago.
It wasn’t unusual that she should prefer comfort and affection to the austere existence in the priory.
She’d only wanted to stay there because she didn’t realize such luxuries and emotional comforts existed.
Now, she knew. God would not have presented this new life for her had he not wanted her to accept it.
It was the life she wanted. She would never go back to the priory again.
A new world was dawning and she intended to embrace all of it.