Chapter Eight #3
Jasper nodded. “I did,” he replied. He hesitated a moment before continuing.
“I have discussed the issue with your mother and we have come to the conclusion that you would better serve this family by fulfilling your destiny as the wife of an ally. The House of de Lara is a powerful Marcher lordship and it is imperative that we make allegiances. Since Roget is no longer with us, God rest his soul, the earldom will pass to your brother, Jeffrey, and he will make a political marriage someday. We must make one for you as well. It is important to the survival of our family. Do you understand?”
Kathalin was looking at the man with such a fallen expression that it was difficult not to notice it.
She sighed heavily, great anguish on her face.
“But I do not wish to marry,” she said, her voice soft and pleading.
“My brother will have children to carry on the de Lara name. If I marry, I will not be carrying on the de Lara name at all. I will be perpetuating my husband’s name. ”
Jasper shook his head. “Untrue,” he said. “Your children will have de Lara blood in them. That is a very important factor.”
Kathalin was heartbroken. Now, she realized the true reason why she had been summoned home, to face a future she did not want.
In hindsight, she supposed she knew it all along but to hear her father speak so callously of something that meant so much to her was truly disheartening.
Part of her wondered if Gates, too, had known it all along and simply hadn’t wanted to tell her.
She looked at him, then, distress on her face only to see that his features were like stone.
There was no discernable expression. No warmth, no sympathy. Her heart sank even more.
“But… I do not want to do that,” she said, more sorrow in her voice.
“You sent me to St. Milburga’s as a child and I grew to love it.
It is my home. It is the only home I have ever known.
I want to become a nun and serve God. You have ignored me for fourteen years and I find it ironic that after all of the years of pretending I did not exist you should suddenly find my life important to you.
You want me to marry and establish family ties with another house?
You are condemning me to something I never, ever wanted to do.
You are condemning me to a life of unhappiness. ”
Jasper let go of her hand; so much for trying to reason with her. “I am sorry you feel that way,” he said. “When I sent you to St. Milburga’s, it was for your protection and education. It was not to groom you to become a nun.”
Kathalin gazed at him steadily, though there was disgust in her expression.
“Then why did you send me to a convent to begin with?” she asked, rather passionately.
“You could have sent me to any number of fine houses to foster, but you did not. You sent me to a House of God and I grew to love it. I want to make it my life. Why are you now taking that away from me?”
Jasper was becoming increasingly frustrated with her attempts to argue. “Your life is not your own,” he said strongly. “Or have you not yet figured that out? No woman has a say in her life. That is up to her father or husband.”
He was definitively cutting her off and Kathalin was becoming more distraught by the moment. “You are a stranger to me,” she said quietly. “A stranger who has never cared for me, yet you have control over my life. You already have Jeffrey to perpetuate the family. You do not need me.”
Jasper didn’t like having his wishes refuted and it was a struggle for him to keep his temper with her.
She most definitely had the de Lara stubborn streak, just like he did, and the truth was that he found that rather frustrating.
If he didn’t gain the upper hand in this conversation, it could end up quite unpleasant for them both.
He wasn’t about to let the woman make demands of him.
“There are times in our lives when we are forced to do distasteful things because of the need of the family,” he said.
“This is one of those times. You will not be returning to St. Milburga’s.
You will remain here, at your family’s home, and when we give the grand party for you in two weeks’ time, you will be introduced to some of England’s most eligible and powerful men.
I am sorry if that is distasteful to you, but that is what will be.
Now, I am sure your mother would like to speak with you this morning.
She has been most eager to see you. Will you please come with me so that I may reacquaint the two of you? ”
Kathalin was sitting back in the painted chair, feeling overwhelming hatred for the man who was her father. Hatred and anger and bloody disappointment. She felt as if her guts were being ripped out. She simply looked away from him.
“Nay,” she said. “I do not wish to see her and I do not wish to see you, either.”
Jasper hardened. “Do not be foolish, girl,” he growled. “I can force you to my will. I can force you to do anything I want you to do. Why do you think Alexander and Gates are here? If you do not obey my wishes, they will force you to do what I tell you to do. Do not test me, lass – you will lose.”
Kathalin was pale by the time he finished his speech, still looking away from him, her face taut with emotion.
Without another word, and without looking at either Gates or Alexander or Jasper, she stood up and marched to the door, obviously waiting for her father to take her to her mother.
Jasper sighed heavily, stood up from his seat, and went to open the chamber door.
Taking Kathalin by the arm, he turned to Gates and Alexander.
“Go downstairs and wait for me,” he said quietly. “I will not be long.”
Gates simply nodded, watching as Jasper, his fingers digging in to Kathalin’s upper arm, took her from the chamber and directed her up the stairs to the level above where her mother’s chamber was situated.
When they quit the room and the footsteps faded up to the third floor, Alexander turned to Gates.
“Is she truly so difficult?” he hissed. “Jasper will not hesitate to punish her.”
Gates couldn’t let on just how emotional he was feeling about what he had just witnessed.
That sense of protection towards her was nearly out of control, made worse by Jasper’s threats.
God help him, he was having difficulty thinking straight at the moment.
He wanted very badly to follow Kathalin and Jasper up to Lady de Lara’s room but didn’t dare move in that direction.
He had to remain cool and in control.
“I know,” he finally muttered, realizing there was sweat on his brow as the result of his inner turmoil. “Let us go down to the entry as he instructed. We will wait for him there.”
Alexander preceded Gates out of the chamber and both men took the stairs down to the entry where the Tender of the Keep was smoking up a storm by stirring up the embers in her black, sooty hearth.
When she saw the knights, she moved to unlock the iron grate but Gates waved her off.
He simply stood next to the grate, feeling the cold air blow through, unsure what more he should say to Alexander or if he should try to start a conversation that took them off the subject of Kathalin and Jasper, for certainly, he wasn’t entirely sure he could even keep up a calm conversation when it came to those two.
Calm wasn’t something he was feeling at the moment.
As Gates stood in moody silence, Alexander sensed that something was wrong with the man although he truly had no idea what it was.
Perhaps it was disgust that he’d had to go to St. Milburga’s in the first place, or perhaps it was because he found himself in the position of nursemaid to a grown woman.
Contrary to Gates’ normal behavior with women, he didn’t seem particularly attracted to this one.
Perhaps it was because she was his liege’s daughter or perhaps it was because she was not a particularly pleasant person.
In any case, Gates seemed distracted and upset about the situation, as if he wished he were anywhere but in the keep at that moment.
As Alexander watched the man, he could see something odd in his expression, something distant and pensive.
He wondered if his observations were incorrect and Gates was actually feeling some distress on the lady’s behalf rather than experiencing distaste for her behavior.
With Gates, it was difficult to know sometimes.
He had no involvement in women other than conquest.
As far as Alexander knew, he’d never truly even come to know one. But maybe, in this case, he’d come to know Lady Kathalin on the journey from St. Milburga’s and wished he hadn’t. Either way, Gates wasn’t acting like himself, and that was puzzling.
As Kathalin and Jasper entered Lady de Lara’s chamber two floors above them, Gates and Alexander waited in silence.