Chapter Fourteen #2
It was actually the truth and she was relieved that she had an excuse. Alexander simply nodded his head.
“Of course,” he said. “Mayhap another time.”
“Mayhap.”
An awkward silence fell as Kathalin crouched down next to another plant, seeming more interested in the dead growth around her than in Alexander. He sensed that, of course, and tried not to feel slighted by it. It was time for him to leave.
“Then I shall look forward to it,” he said. “Good day to you, my lady.”
Kathalin looked up from her plant. “Good day, Sir Alexander.”
He forced a smile and turned on his heel, heading out of the garden and feeling embarrassed about her rejection.
He tried to tell himself that it was because she was in new and uncertain circumstances, but something told him that was not entirely true.
He had been watching the interaction between the lady and Gates for several days now and the harder they tried to ignore each other, the more obvious it was that there was something between him.
He didn’t know why he felt that way, but he did.
Lost in thought, he had just reached the garden gate when it swung back and nearly hit him.
Gates stepped through the opening, moving aside when he saw Alexander coming through. “There you are,” he said. “I have been looking for you.”
Alexander paused, his hand on the iron gate. “I came to tell the lady about the foal,” he said. “What did you wish of me?”
Gates threw a thumb towards the gatehouse. “A party has been sighted about a mile out,” he said. “They are flying the blue banners and yellow lion of de Lohr.”
Alexander grinned. “My mother and father approach?”
Gates nodded. “They do,” he said. “I thought you would want to ride out to greet them.”
Alexander fled from the garden without another word, rushing in the direction of the stables. Gates paused a moment, watching him go, before inevitably turning his attention towards Kathalin, who was crouched down next to some dead plants, scratching at the dirt.
Alone. He was alone with her and the weight of the situation wasn’t lost on him.
He hadn’t seen the woman alone in five days but now, here they were, just the two of them.
Alexander was occupied, as was Jasper, but he knew that his time with Kathalin was limited.
As soon as the House of de Lohr arrived, Jasper would want to show her off.
He didn’t blame the man. Therefore, he had to speak to her privately before she was taken from him.
There was much he had to say.
Five days of reflecting upon Kathalin’s interaction with Lord Linley and five days of reflecting upon all they had said to one another in Shrewsbury had been weighing heavily on him.
He couldn’t think of anything else. He went to sleep at night with Kathalin on his mind and woke up the next morning with the same if, in fact, he was lucky enough to sleep at all.
The woman was occupying his every moment, like a ghost taking over his body and filling him until he could hardly breathe.
Five days of weighing his options, of wrestling with his fears, of imagining a future with and without her. God, there was so much he wanted to say to her that he hardly knew where to begin. But he had to start somewhere.
He made his way over to her.
“Good morn to you, my lady,” he said pleasantly.
Kathalin looked up from the dead weeds in her hand, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. “Good morning, de Wolfe,” she said. “I hear that I am soon to have a new foal.”
He nodded, watching her as she fingered some tiny, green sprouts coming out of the dead earth. “Indeed,” he said. “Did Alexander tell you?”
She brushed off her hands and stood up. “He told me that a mare was giving birth and that you offered the foal to me,” she said. “I accept. May I go and see the birth? Alexander seemed reluctant to take me.”
Gates gave her a half-grin. “I do not suppose I could discourage you, either.”
She shook her head. “As I told Alexander, I have seen birth before,” she said. “I find it fascinating.”
He cocked an eyebrow, perhaps in disapproval. “You would,” he said, watching as she grinned. “Digging in dirt, watching a live birth… are you sure I cannot direct you to some more lady-like pursuits?”
“Like what?”
He lifted those enormous shoulders. “Painting,” he said. “And sewing. Your mother makes beautiful tapestries. Mayhap she can teach you. Those would be much more lady-like pursuits, my lady.”
The smile was fading from her face as he spoke as she thought of her mother and the woman’s affliction.
She even looked up to the keep as if seeing the woman through the gray stone walls.
Rosamund had told her that no one knew of her affliction and Kathalin understood the need for discretion, but the fact that they had not made it to the apothecary in Shrewsbury did not deter her wanting to help her mother’s disease.
In fact, the discovery of the dead garden had been fortuitous because Kathalin had been thinking on asking permission to start such a thing.
She could grow the ingredients necessary to help her mother.
But now, she didn’t have to start a garden at all but she would need help in growing it.
She thought to let Gates in on her plans because she didn’t trust anyone else to tell.
Even if he wouldn’t marry her, she still trusted him.
“May I tell you something, de Wolfe?” she asked quietly.
He nodded, a look of hope and longing on his face that was quickly gone. “Of course.”
Kathalin had seen the expression and her heart beat faster, just a little. It was difficult to be around the man and not feel that pull between them, that attraction that was undeniable. It was so powerful at times that it literally took her breath away.
“It is about my mother,” she said, brushing the hair out of her eyes when the breeze blew it in her face. “How long have you known her?”
Gates pondered her question. “Since I began serving de Lara,” he said. “It has been thirteen years, at least.”
Kathalin considered that. “When was the last time you saw her?”
Again, he thought on her question. “Not since I have returned from France,” he said. “Before that, I cannot say when the last time was.”
Kathalin looked up at the keep again. “But when you saw her last, how was she dressed?”
He wasn’t sure what she was getting at. “Dressed?” he repeated. “I do not know, to be truthful. I do not pay attention to things like that. I am sure she was dressed as she is always dressed, with layers of fabric covering everything, even her face. Why do you ask?”
“So you have always seen her dressed like that?”
He nodded. “Ever since I have served de Lara,” he said. “Why do you ask?”
Kathalin drew in a long, deep breath, her eyes still fixed on the keep. “Because I must tell you something and you must swear to me that you will never, ever repeat it. If you did, the consequences could be quite terrible.”
Now he was concerned. “What do you mean?” he asked. “What have you to tell me, Kathi?”
Kathi. He’d used that sweet name before, murmured in his beautiful baritone. But this time, the way he said it made her think that he meant she, personally, had something terrible to tell him. She hastened to reassure him.
“It is not about me,” she said. “It is about my mother. You see… my mother is very ill, Gates. That is why you have never seen her without every part of her body being covered. She is sick and, being that I have been trained in healing, I have decided that I must help her. That is why I am out in this dead garden. I want to bring it back to life and grow herbs and flowers that might help her. I would like to try.”
Gates was listening to her seriously, digesting her words.
But he seemed confused. “That is a noble desire,” he said.
“However, you made it a point of telling me on our journey from St. Milburga’s that you resented your parents a great deal.
Something must have changed your mind if you seek to help the woman you spent years of your life resenting. ”
Kathalin nodded, averting her gaze. “You and I have not really spoken about anything since we arrived at Hyssington,” she said, trying not to touch on the delicate subject of their feelings for each other but realizing it was unavoidable.
“When we went to Shrewsbury, we spoke of… that is, we did not speak of anything other than what was important to us.”
“My love for you.”
It was like a blow to the gut, hearing those words from him, and she struggled to stay on subject.
“Aye,” she whispered. “And of my love for you. There was no time or opportunity to speak of the meeting I had with my parents before we left for Shrewsbury. I spent time with my mother, alone, and discovered a great many things, Gates. I discovered that she sent me away because she was falling ill and she did not wish for me or my brothers to contract her disease.”
Gates’ brow furrowed as he absorbed her words. “Disease?” he repeated, very concerned. “What disease?”
Kathalin reached out and grasped his gloved hands, clutching them tightly. “You must promise not to repeat what I am about to tell you.”
He held her hands tightly, too, pulling her to him so they were standing quite close to one another. The first physical contact with her after five days of virtually no contact at all was enough to drive him to his knees.
“I swear to you that I will not tell a soul,” he assured her softly, gazing down into her lovely face and absorbing the warmth of her body into his. “I swear on my oath as a knight. What disease does your mother have?”