Chapter Eighteen #2
Kathalin had been in her chamber most of the afternoon, having not left it since her conversation with her mother.
The truth was that she didn’t want to leave it, locked away from the world, because every time that door opened, something drastic happened.
She wasn’t sure she could take anything drastic again today but she was desperate to see Gates and to know of his conversation with her father.
If it was anything like the conversation she’d had with her mother, then the future she had so hopefully dreamed about wasn’t quite as bright as she had wished.
In fact, it had turned stormy and uncertain.
The chamber she occupied now, the one that was located opposite her mother’s lavish bower, was small but comfortable.
There was a big hearth that kept the room very warm and a very comfortable bed she had slept soundly upon.
Her possessions, the ones that Gates had purchased for her those weeks ago, had followed her into this chamber and were neatly put away in a slender but well-made wardrobe cabinet.
The lumpy, white soap was sitting out next to a basin of cold water and the fur-lined cloak hung on a peg near the door.
Everything in the room, from the soap to the cloak to the contents of the wardrobe, reminded Kathalin of Gates.
It was both a depressing and comforting sight.
Kathalin sat on the wide sill of the lancet window overlooking the garden, the same window where she had first seen the dried, dead garden.
She wasn’t looking so much at the garden any longer because it reminded her of the conversation with her mother and the long line of de Lara women that she was now coming to hate because they reminded her of her separation from Gates.
She had no emotional link to her family, and especially not now.
Her only emotional link was to Gates and she prayed he would come to her soon to tell her of better news from his conversation with Jasper.
In fact, she’d been praying steadily on that very subject since her meeting with her mother.
Please, God… let us be together!
As she gazed up at the darkened sky, watching the birds as they flew about, seeking cover before the storm broke, she caught movement down in the garden.
Peering down, she could see that Gates was standing there, waving his big arms up at her.
She stuck her hand from the window, waving back, and when she pulled her hand out she could see that he was motioning her to join him in the garden.
Waving at him again to signal that she understood, she grabbed her cloak off the peg and fled her chamber.
Giddy with excitement, Kathalin took the stairs too fast and nearly tripped on her way down.
The keep was dark as she made her way down to the entry level where the Tender of the Keep sat huddled up against the fire in her small room near the entry door.
When the woman saw Kathalin, she stood up, tossed off the blanket that had been over her shoulders, and made her way over to the iron gate, unlocking it so Kathalin could leave.
Kathalin bolted outside once the gate opened and dashed off in the direction of the walled garden.
The wind was picking up and big, fat, freezing drops of rain were falling as she rushed to the gate of the garden, only to be met by Gates.
He was already there, opening it, and she threw herself into his arms as she entered.
Gates held her tightly, off the ground and aloft in his arms, and carried her over to a corner of the walled garden where eyes from the keep could not see them.
He needed, and wanted, privacy. Before she could open her mouth to speak, he slanted his lips over hers and kissed her deeply.
It was a kiss full of longing and promise, and Kathalin wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him fast as he suckled her lips.
It was new and thrilling and exciting, a kiss of untold passion beginning to awaken, and he pushed her back against the wall, supporting her body with his as he reached down and pulled her legs up so that they were wrapped around his hips.
Kathalin was so involved in the heat of his kiss, the newness of something she had never before experienced, that she hadn’t realized the position he’d put her in.
Her back was against the walled garden, her legs around his body as his pelvis rubbed up against hers.
It was an extremely intimate and naughty position but Kathalin, as na?ve as she was, hardly recognized that.
All she knew was that she was content in his big arms, his enormous body pressed against her as his lips devouring hers.
Since her body was being supported by his as he held her against the wall, his hands moved to her face, cupping it, as he kissed her.
“Gates,” Kathalin breathed between heated kisses. “I spoke with my mother. She is unsympathetic to our cause. She insists that I marry Alex but I will try again to convince her. I will not stop until I have the answer we seek.”
He slowed his kisses, his hands still holding her face. Finally, he stopped altogether and looked at her. “I spoke with Jasper also,” he murmured huskily. “He has denied me as well.”
Kathalin’s brow furrowed with worry. “Did Alex speak with him, too?” she asked. “Did he tell my father that he did not wish to marry me?”
Gates nodded. “He did,” he said, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. “It is only the first battle in the war, sweetheart. Do not lose faith. I will approach him again tonight and see if I cannot change his mind.”
Kathalin nodded, trying not to allow feelings of defeat to claim her just yet. “Was he angry in his refusal?” she asked. “Did he become angry with you?”
Gates shrugged, his hands moving from her face to her neck, his gaze turning towards her shoulders and the swell of her full bosom. “He was upset, of course,” he said, drinking in his fill of her creamy white flesh. “He did not believe me when I told him I loved you.”
Kathalin was watching his face as he gazed at her chest. “He is concerned with your reputation.”
It was a statement, not a question, and Gates nodded as he bent over and kissed the swell of her breasts.
“Aye,” he said. “I am sure he does not think I am capable of such feelings. It is not surprising, Kathi – I told you that my past would be an obstacle. You knew we would come across this. It is simply a matter of convincing Jasper that the right woman can change a man, as you have done for me.”
He pushed his face into her neck, kissing it softly as he inhaled her womanly musk.
Kathalin’s arms were still around his neck, her hands in his hair as he kissed her, but her mind was thinking on her parents and their refusal.
As Gates said, it was only the first battle in the war.
They both knew it would not be easy. She pulled him closer as he nuzzled her neck.
“I thought I could coerce my mother into giving her consent by intimating that you had taken me to your bed,” she said softly.
“She became quite irate about it and threatened to turn you over to the House of de Lohr if it was true. I was therefore forced to confess that it was not even though I wish it had been.”
Gates stopped nuzzling her neck. He lifted his head, looking her in the eye. “For once in my life, I am glad it was not true.”
She wasn’t sure if she should be offended or touched. “Why?”
His brow furrowed in thought as he began to toy with a stray lock of hair on her shoulder.
“I am not entirely sure I can explain it,” he said.
“You are so pure and untouched and lovely… to bed you now, before we are properly wed, seems dirty and wrong on so many levels. You are not meant to be soiled before the proper time, Kathi. You are meant to be kept pure and strong, just as you are, until the day I make you my wife. I have gone my entire adult life bedding women on my whim, using them to satisfy something inside of me that I could not quite comprehend. It was a need of sorts, a need to be fulfilled, but no amount of sexual contact could fill it. Now… when I look at you, that part of me is at peace, anticipating the time when I will join my body with yours because I know it will be the best possible experience of what such an act is meant to be. For the first time in my life, I will be demonstrating my feelings for a woman and not simply satisfying my male lust. Does that make any sense?”
Kathalin was listening closely. “It does,” she said, “in a way. Marriage is meant to be consummated and in our case, because we love each other.”
She didn’t really understand what he was saying and he shrugged. “Sort of,” he said. “When I finally take you, it will be the ultimate demonstration of my love. I have never done that before, with anyone.”
She grinned. “Nor have I.”
He laughed softly. “That is well and good,” he said, gazing into her eyes. “I am looking forward to that moment more than you know.”
Her body tightened around him, her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. “I… I would not be opposed to sampling now what is to come,” she said softly. “I give you permission to do as you will with me.”
Gates looked at her; really looked at her. It was so odd that the first reaction he had was one of refusal. He had never refused a woman’s offer in his life, yet here he was, about to refuse the offer from the woman he loved.
The only woman he should accept the offer from.
God, what is happening to me? He thought wildly, his mind whirling with inner thoughts and feelings of love and honor that he never knew he had.
Thoughts of Alexander were coming to mind, thoughts of the House of de Lohr and the House of de Wolfe, and all of the complications such a thing would cause.
The more he thought on it, the more confused he became.
With a sigh, he unwound her legs from around his hips and set her carefully to the ground.