Chapter 7
The adrenaline rush from the stage still roared through my veins. We all ran into the greenroom to more thunderous applause from the elite group with backstage passes. It was made up of mostly celebs and the richie rich crowd; a few were contest winners through local media. All would require gladhanding before the party could continue back on the bus. And since this was the last LA show, the party was gonna be epic.
We usually did a ritual pop of a champagne cork and spray of the crowd before toasting a successful kickoff of the tour, but apparently that wasn’t happening tonight. It hadn’t happened the last two days either. Chase had stormed through the greenroom, hauled Shay over his shoulder, and disappeared down a hall to raucous cheers.
Noah bounced to my side, humming the beat from “Another One Bites The Dust.”
I laughed despite my discomfort at the knowledge that everything was changing. First Chase was off our bus, and now he couldn’t even be bothered with sticking it out at our afterparty for five minutes? Damn, I hated change, made my skin feel all itchy. “That doesn’t even make sense. He’s the one and only one of us married. He can’t be another one.”
Noah’s heavy arm fell onto my shoulder. “’Theirs is not to reason why, theirs is but to do and die.’”
I recognized the quote—at least it sounded familiar. Maybe from the movie Gladiator? “I’m guessing that means you wanna party?”
Noah raised his arm and roared, “Into the Valley of Death!”
The crowd in the greenroom roared their approval. I just shook my head and tossed back the shot someone handed me. Sometimes there was no understanding Noah, but especially not after a concert.
After toasting a few influencers nearby, Noah bounced back to my side. “So, I guess it’s just the three of us in the bet this year?”
“Seriously?” I groaned as I rubbed a hand over my face. “You want to go again after last year? Really?”
“Fuck yeah!” Noah crowed. “I wanna get a purple unicorn on my ass to match yours!” Noah jumped around the room screaming, “Purple unicorn! Purple unicorn!” to the hilarity of the crowd.
For the record, my unicorn wasn’t purple. It was pink.
“Something’s got Noah all riled up.” Rowan appeared at my side, standing so close she didn’t have to raise her voice for me to hear her.
“When’s he not riled up?”
Rowan threw her head back and laughed like I’d said something hilarious.
I could probably tell her the earth was flat and mini dragons lived in my ass, and she’d happily nod along. I’d ate that shit up when we first got famous. Honestly, I’d felt like it was my due. But lately, it didn’t fill me up like it used to.
Rowan leaned into me and rubbed her tits against my arm.
Fuck me.
Maybe I was dead inside.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was still a guy. Parts of me were noticing the very large tits pressed against me. Everything still worked. But it wasn’t like the last time we’d been on tour.
Last time I’d won our little yearly contest, and got to decide what everyone else had to get tattooed on themselves. This time? I was so apathetic it was scaring the shit out of me. Maybe it was because this was Rowan. Like Noah had said before the concert, she was kinda scary—all intent and obvious. Maybe I just needed someone a little more…a little less…fuck, I didn’t know.
Just someone else.
“I gotta take care of some shit.” And I walked away from Rowan without another word. That might’ve made me an ass, but I didn’t believe in making promises I wasn’t going to keep.
Three feet later, I looked up and spotted Ella standing on the fringe of the crowd looking disappointed. I didn’t have to wonder at the cause—she was staring straight at me. I don’t know what she expected. She’d long known what we were like, especially on tour.
I curled my lip in response and dove into the center of an influencer trio. “Did you all enjoy the show?”
A pretty little brunette blinked up at me in surprise. Two seconds later, she had her phone out, taking selfies of us. I gritted my teeth and smiled through the bullshit.
“Oh my god! Do you think we can get Xander over here? I really want a selfie with him.”
Never got old to hear that I wasn’t the Tin God they wanted/loved/lusted over. “I’ll send him over. Nice talking to you ladies.”
I dipped out and headed to the corner where the younger kids were hanging out. “Hey, hey! Who has stuff for me to sign?”
A slender boy about ten blinked up at me, his whole body shaking. “I, uh, would, um…”
Turning, I grabbed a Sharpie off a nearby table, then knelt down. “Did you get to watch some of the show?”
The boy nodded furiously, his eyes shining bright. Judging by the bare scalp his baseball cap hid, he was probably here because of a charity.
My heart thudded unevenly, but I smiled despite the sympathetic pain radiating through me. “Did you enjoy it? Which song is your favorite?”
“I love ‘Nowhere to Hide,’” he whispered.
A slender woman younger than me stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder. “Cole plays that song nonstop. We have to beg him to put on something else.”
“Sounds like Cole has awesome taste,” Xander said over my shoulder. “I wrote that one.”
“He’s a glory hog,” I whispered to Cole. “I actually wrote the refrain at the end of that song, but he never mentions that part.”
“It’s a group effort,” Xander retorted.
I raised my eyebrows at Cole. “See?”
We laughed and joked with Cole. Noah, and surprisingly, Chase appeared out of nowhere to sign merch for Cole and take pictures with his family. Eventually we had to move on to talk to the rest of the backstage passholders.
Before I walked away, his mom patted my arm. “Thanks so much for this. I can’t tell you how excited he’s been since he heard he was coming tonight. It means so much to him, and he hasn’t had a lot to look forward to lately.”
“Of course. Thanks for coming out tonight.” My words felt inadequate compared to the emotions coursing through me, but I didn’t know what else to say. Hell, at this point they were reflexive.
As I gladhanded my way through the rest of the group, my skin felt itchy. I rubbed at my arms, but it didn’t help. Everybody was pressing in on me, wanting their pound of flesh when really all I wanted was to be alone in the darkness.
Nothing felt right. Nothing could calm me down. Not booze. Not a cig.
I just wanted to get the hell out of here.
When it seemed like I’d finally shaken every hand in the fucking building and taken a ridiculous number of selfies, I spied Rowan lingering at the other end of the room near a hallway. Perfect.
I gave a few more people a few moments, took another few selfies, then split. I grabbed Rowan’s hand and pulled her with me down the hall to our private greenroom. Shoving the door open, I pulled her through the room to the bathroom. I didn’t want to be interrupted.
Slamming the bathroom door shut, I pressed her against the closed door and kissed her. I just wanted—needed—to lose myself in something again. I’d lost that feeling from the stage, and I was chasing to get it back.
My fingers coasted over her curves, teasing her here and there. Her nipples were so fucking hard. And there was nothing like the weight of a firm, round tit in your hand, especially when it made her hips dance against my dick.
“Mmmm,” she hummed against my ear as her teeth bit down my lobe. “Someone feeling a little bottled up?”
I ground my dick into her stomach as my answer.
Rowan laughed. “Impatient. Let’s see if we can do something about that.”
She pushed against my shoulders, and I took a step back. Rowan quickly had our positions reversed. The doorknob punched into my side, but I wasn’t complaining. Huge titties were currently waving in front of me.
Jackpot.
I reached out to touch, but Rowan danced away, wagging her finger. I groaned and dropped my head back against the door. I wanted to scream at her that I wasn’t here for fucking fun and games. I was here to get my dick wet. But I wasn’t stupid.
No doubt seeing the frustration on my face, Rowan smirked and knelt in front of me.
Fucking finally.
She got my dick out in seconds and pumped it in her firm grasp. Tilting her face up at me, she cooed like a porn star. But the whole visual was doing stupid shit to my mojo.
Leaning back against the door, I closed my eyes and tried to just focus on the sensations. Her lips coasted over my cock, and I was into it. This was fucking perfect. Just what I needed. Her head brushed against my thigh as she took me deep. She swallowed, and my eyes crossed behind my lids. So close.
I reached down and grabbed the back of her head. My fingers tightened in her hair, holding her there as I came. Euphoria crashed over me, and my body shuddered. My panting breath was almost as loud as the sound of her gulping down my jizz.
Finally, I let go of her and sank back against the door, damn near boneless.
Rowan wiped her hand over her mouth, and I felt a slight pang of regret for the harsh way I’d used her just now. But that pang disappeared as she rose to her feet with a hungry gleam in her eyes. “Now that we’ve taken the edge off, how about we turn the tables?”
The door shook behind me.
Bam. Bam. Bam.
“Come on, Jesse!” Xander’s impatient voice blasted through the door. “Zip it up, man. We gotta get on the road!”
“Fuck off!” I shouted back as I tucked my dick back into my pants.
“The road waits for no man. Move your ass!”
I groaned and kissed Rowan’s cheek. “Sorry, honey. Looks like we’ll have to take this show on the road.”
Rowan grinned back before sorting out her top. “You know I’ve got no problems with that. I can do anything in a tiny bunk.”
Memories flowed back. Most were tinged with a fog of liquor, but the woman wasn’t wrong.
Grabbing Rowan’s hand, I ripped open the door and walked past Xander. “Reporting for duty, Father.”
“Funny.” The eyeroll was clear in Xander’s tone. “Hey!” He shouted as we walked down the hall. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“The bus, dickhead!”
“No tail on the bus, dickhead. Shit, sorry, Rowan. Didn’t know it was you. But no girls on the bus.”
“Fuck that.” I whipped around and glared at my bandmate turned morality police officer. “When the hell did we agree on that stupid rule?”
“When we agreed to let Ella on our bus. She doesn’t need an up-close view of the dickery and anarchy we get up to. You can do whatever the fuck you want in your hotel room, but when we’re on the road, we keep it off the bus.”
I buried my hands in my hair. In the mayhem of all the post-concert bullshit, I’d forgotten about Ella. Shit. “I don’t remember agreeing to that. Ella is an adult on a fucking rock tour. She’s gotta know what she signed up for.”
“I’m sure Ella knows the facts of life.” Rowan sneered next to me. “She seemed fine with it when we talked earlier.”
I took a step away from her, crossing my arms over my chest. “What the fuck did you say to her?”
Rowan’s bottom lip pushed out. “Nothing, really.”
“Fuck.” I closed my eyes and cursed again. “Get the fuck away from me.”
Rowan’s bottom lip pouted more.
“NOW!” I roared.
She tottered away faster than hell on her little heels. Fuck me. I’d thought she knew the score. Wouldn’t have expectations. I should’ve known better.
“That shit is gonna get awkward. Fast.”
I jumped at Xander’s voice. I’d forgotten he was here. And witnessing my stupidity. Fuck. “Yeah. I’m sure I’ll pay for that later.”
“Let’s get going. Dallas is gonna be pissed.”
“Yeah. The line of people pissed at me forms to the left.”
Xander just clapped me on the shoulder.
Some diehards were still standing in the parking lot behind metal rails. They cheered when Xander and I exited the building. By rote, I headed over, patting my pockets for a Sharpie.
“Jesse! Can I have a picture?”
“Xander, I love you!”
All their words bled together, like it was coming from a long hallway. I shook my head to clear it and accepted a marker from a security guard. Scrawling my name on whatever people shoved in front of me, I made my way down the line. Flashes blinded me, so I kept my head down and my sunglasses on.
With a few waves and one more selfie, I turned and walked away, heading for the buses. A few seconds later, Xander caught up, and we walked the rest of the way in silence.
“Goddamn, didja get lost?” Dallas asked when I stepped onto the bus.
I just tossed him a look and made my way down the hallway toward my bunk. Noah was sprawled out on the sofa playing a video game, and there was no sign of Ella. Judging by the closed curtain on her bunk, she’d already gone to bed.
All this worry about her comfort on the bus, and she wasn’t even here to see the sacrifice I’d made for her. After tossing Xander one more glare, me and my blue balls turned in for the night.