Regal Feather (Plumas Universe #8)

Chapter 1

ONE

ev

“Hello, Everest? We’ve set all the clothes you ordered in the first dressing room to your right, and you’re welcome to check out anything else we have in the store.

” A woman with a tag that said her name was Emilia waved me, Sergio, Jaime, and Danny in with the brightest customer service smile.

“Should I bring you a drink? Coffee, tea, champagne?”

“We’re good, thanks.”

Translation: my nerves were already frazzled enough. I didn’t need stimulants or alcohol thrown into the mix.

“Perfect, I’ll be by the desk if you need anything.”

I nodded, and Emilia made herself scarce.

Sergio bounced on his feet. “I didn’t know you could close down a store in like, real life.”

I grimaced. “You can with the high-end ones.”

It had cost quite a bit, and I didn’t usually throw around my name or my family’s money like this, but every now and then, I convinced myself that it was okay to take advantage of some of the privilege I’d been born into.

“Cool.”

I cleared my throat, fidgeting now that there wasn’t a stranger to keep up appearances for. “Thanks for coming with me, all three of you.”

Sergio was usually game for any plan that meant being around people and getting out of the house, but Jaime and Danny usually needed more cajoling.

The latter, especially. He’d joked a few times that the main reason he came to do stuff with us was to keep León, his Dom, happy.

I was pretty sure it wasn’t fully true, but shopping was definitely not his idea of a good time.

The three of them were still the guys I’d grown the closest with from the local BDSM club I’d been a member of for years now, though, and I wouldn’t have been able to set this up if they hadn’t confirmed they’d come with me.

“There’s a lot of lingerie here,” Jaime noted. They cocked their head to the side. “Anything you want to tell us, Ev?”

I grunted.

To be fair, I should’ve told them more than “will you pretty please come clothes shopping with me?”

“I’m trying something out.” Without my saying so, my voice went much softer, almost a murmur of its normal volume. I hated it. Licking my lips, I gulped down the nerves as I squared up my shoulders. “I have tried it before? At home. But it wasn’t anything like a potential full wardrobe change.”

Not that I had bought enough clothes for that, but maybe there were enough for this season, and if it all worked out and nothing imploded, we could make a thing out of this and come back when the fall/winter season was out.

“Sure, okay.”

Danny just shrugged. Sergio looked distracted, checking out and touching everything because he was that kind of person.

Jaime was the only one who kept their focus on me.

I tried to ignore it—they were the most observant of the bunch, and the one I was the most intimidated by.

It had started out when I met them at the club, and they got me all flustered, teasing me for saying I was technically cis when I hadn’t even figured out if there was a name, a label, or anything else for the way I itched to present a certain way.

Maybe I was still intimidated because I hadn’t found all the answers yet, but I wanted to think I’d have more of them after today, so… Yeah.

Trying on new clothes, it was.

New clothes that were mostly skirts, dresses, and tops that were made for women.

And lingerie. Lots of lingerie. I didn’t unveil the curtain to show them that, though.

They’d see it when I wore it at the club, but it felt too violent to do it here, and it didn’t escape my notice that Emilia must be listening in, at least every now and then.

New clothes that had my heart racing, climbing up all the way to my throat, every time I opened the curtains that separated the spacious dressing room from the more narrow hallway they were waiting on.

It didn’t matter that they were being nice. Supportive. The first time I came out wearing a dress that cut off above the knee and had off-the-shoulder sleeves, Sergio asked if he could touch it. He’d pouted because he thought the fabric would be softer. That had been the most dissent I’d gotten.

It was the third two-piece set I showed them—because I was terrible at coordinating outfits, so sticking to two-piece and matching sets had seemed like a safer option—when Jaime went back to cocking their head to the side.

“So, question.”

I gulped. It was instinctive at this point when they were around, as much as I liked them. “Yeah?”

“Is this a gender thing, a kink, a…”

“It’s…” I cleared my throat. I’d planned to talk about it more when we were back at my place—after I revealed the second reason for the outing today, but if I’d learned anything about Jaime these past few years, it was that not only were they a pup within the club, they were like one with a bone outside of it when they wanted answers to something.

“Kink, but I like presenting fem. It feels right, like I’m shedding off a skin that isn’t mine.

Not that I want to take it any further than that, but… ”

Jaime nodded. “Everything you’ve tried so far is very revealing.”

“I mean…yes?”

I didn’t know what to think when they said it like that.

Was it a critique? Did they think differently because I’d agreed it had to do with kink?

I had read plenty about the problematic history of feminization kink.

I’d spoken about it with Erika too because, even though she was cis—and had reminded me of the fact—she was the most knowledgeable when it came to kink, and I wanted some reassurance.

Her advice was that I talk with at least some of the trans members of the club, and I’d been building up the courage to do it. Just…

Sergio thought of me as shy. It wasn’t a secret.

He wasn’t the only one, either, and there were reasons for it.

I hated the way the adjective felt against my skin, but I couldn’t quite fight it, could I?

Not when the evidence was right there. I got anxious whenever the attention was on me, my voice got all soft and small when I was asked something I hadn’t expected, and I wasn’t the best at bringing up new topics of conversation.

“You trust me?”

“Huh?”Jaime kept staring at me like they weren’t making me go on a downward spiral. I was genuinely terrified of what would go down if I said no. “Yes?”

I did trust them. It was the whole reason for today. I just felt untethered.

“Does the woman outside know your sizes?”

“I think so.”

My understanding was that she was the one who had dropped all the clothes in here, so she must’ve checked the online order I’d placed.

“Good.” Jaime clapped their hands together before grabbing Danny by the arm. “You, with me.”

I didn’t know if it was a consolation, but Danny looked just as confused as I felt. On him, with all the piercings across his lips and eyebrows, the expression looked more cartoonish.

Was that a word he’d be okay with? Probably not.

“You can keep changing into more clothes if you want,” Sergio suggested.

I glanced back at him. “I mean, when I’m confused about what people are doing, it helps me to be on the move.

Maybe it helps. Like, Daddy says I shouldn’t assume what works for me works for other people, and he says you’re more prone to just go with whatever I say, which I don’t fully understand, and please don’t do it, but… Yeah. I thought I’d mention it.”

Sergio had this thing where once he got going—which, to be honest, accounted for most of the time—he didn’t quite know where to stop, so nine out of the ten times he opened his mouth, it ended up becoming a random ramble about anything and everything.

I liked him, though. I didn’t like it when he peppered me with a thousand questions at once, but I liked that he didn’t mind carrying the weight of the conversation.

“Okay, yeah. They don’t hate me or anything, right?”

Sergio snorted. “If Jaime hates you, they make sure you know it.”

It made sense, and I could’ve reasoned as much from what I knew of them, but it didn’t calm me down or slow down my heartbeat.

Then again, my heart was probably still processing the way the fabric felt against my skin.

The way I looked in the mirror, somehow softer, warmer, smaller.

Nothing about women’s clothes implied weakness or a loss, but the contrast was clear with the usual clothes I used to wear.

The ones that had felt constricting. That hadn’t made me feel able to square up my shoulders like all the private tutors said I had to, to instill confidence.

Those clothes didn’t inspire me. They didn’t bring up any feeling other than…

void. Void was not a good feeling to contend with.

I’d much rather have this nervousness, this tingling across my body, everywhere the fabric touched, and everywhere that was left exposed to the large mirror in front of me.

Those clothes didn’t have me shivering when I closed my eyes and imagined what would happen later tonight.

What the reaction would be when I relaxed on my bed and I texted the online Dom I was playing with.

The one who used all the right words and had encouraged me to take this step.

To be the slutty femboy I’d been born to be.

I all but forgot about Sergio’s suggestion of trying out more clothes as I kept staring at my reflection. Truth be told, I didn’t know how he was managing to stay so still. And quiet. Sergio was never quiet.

I appreciated it, though it made the contrast starker when Jaime stomped all the way back to us, Danny trailing behind them. I focused on the former and the pile of clothes they were carrying. The ones they shoved my way.

“I don’t care if this is your egg cracking or not, trust me. You’re going to want shit that’ll cover you up, too.”

“Oh.” It was the only sound that came out.