Chapter 36
thirty-six
caged_pig
Hello, Sir Ismael
Is it okay if I ask you something? I think you might have some insight I'm missing
Sir Ismael
You really didn't block me?
caged_pig
No, I told you I wouldn't
Sir Ismael
What is it, Ev?
caged_pig
You remember my friend, the one who moved in with me?
Sir Ismael
Pretty hard to forget, don't you think?
caged_pig
Well, I wanted your advice
After I ended things with you, things were a bit rocky, then they went back to normal, and now they're rocky again, and some people around me say it's because we need a third to act as a Dom, and I think maybe it's me because I'm too much, and he just won't tell me
I'm getting a bit desperate, but you learned a bit about him, so I thought maybe you had your own theories
Sir Ismael
All I know about him is how he sounds when he defiles you, and I was under the impression you didn't quite trust my judgment
caged_pig
You're the one who told me to proposition him, and you helped me get him out of his funk before
Sir Ismael
All right
But I'm going to need more details
caged_pig
Yes, of course
I haven't actually shared everything with anyone else, because they all know him, and it's his story to tell, but I suppose you're safe, right?
Sir Ismael
I deleted everything like you told me to, and all I have to go on is what I'm guessing isn't even your full first name. Even if I wanted to go after you somehow, I don't have the means to
caged_pig
Right
Fair warning, it's kind of a long, convoluted story, and I'm sure a lot of it is in my head, or I'm not interpreting it the right way or something
Sir Ismael
I've got all day
Sir Ismael
So, he's been used as a sex toy under questionable circumstances, he identifies as a service top, you call him Sir, and he struggles to understand that you don’t see him as said sex toy. Is that it?
caged_pig
I think so
He's also very much a Sadist, at least when it comes to my balls
Sir Ismael
Can't say I blame him
You're going to that therapy appointment tomorrow?
caged_pig
Yeah
Sir Ismael
Good
Regardless, I think your friends may be onto something.
Maybe the two of you are perfect on a relationship level, and adding someone else when everything's so fresh and he's working through trauma will only hinder it, but having someone part-time, once a month, even, might help anchor both your needs
caged_pig
Both our needs?
Sir Ismael
Your need to become a thoughtless slut covered in cum, and his need to please
caged_pig
You think he has a need to please?
Sir Ismael
Usually comes with the territory of being a service anything
caged_pig
I suppose
I'm just so anxious every time now, like I'm going to push him further away no matter what I do
And I don't know what to do
When he gets close to me, I want to melt into it, but what if he's doing it because he thinks that's what I want and that's it?
Makes me want to throw up
Sir Ismael
Because you're not a shit person
And I'm guessing you'll have to wait until that therapy appointment to get an answer to some of those questions
caged_pig
I'm not great at waiting
Sir Ismael
I know
I'm sorry things aren't going the way you wanted, for what it's worth
caged_pig
Yeah, and I'm sorry it didn't work out between us, and that it got so messy
I should've been better at communicating, I was just so focused on being the perfect sub
Sir Ismael
You were the perfect sub
caged_pig
Thanks, I guess
I'm also sorry for dumping everything on you now
Sir Ismael
As I said, I have all day
It meant a lot to see you hadn't just blocked me everywhere
caged_pig
Of course not
We could talk, every now and then, if you wanted
I know we had an online arrangement, but I feel like you got to know parts of me no one else knows, and I've been missing that
Sir Ismael
It would be my honor