Chapter 11
It’s been two days since Zakai and I not only had lunch together but also became a couple, and I’m still on cloud nine.
I have found myself staring off into space several times in the last forty-eight hours at the thought of my new budding relationship.
Unlike my previous relationship, this one is more delicate because it’s not just Zakai that has to be considered.
I have to ensure that what’s between us doesn’t negatively impact Zakiyah.
She’s such a sweetheart, and with the absence of her mother, I can understand the things she’ll have to overcome when she’s older.
“My God, please don’t let Zakiyah suffer some of the same things that I have from the absence of Rosetta.
I know our situations are different, but God, please let nothing but happiness, love, security, and peace follow Zakiyah.
Let her experience not a drop of torment or an ounce of tears from the lack.
Let little Zakiyah be connected with people who love her and are capable of filling the void of her mother’s absence. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
I wipe the lone tear that falls from the corner of my right eye and sigh while I try to push the heavy weight in my stomach down to my feet.
Every time the thought of Rosetta’s neglect enters my mind, a shift of melancholy settles within me.
I’m thirty, so Rosetta’s rejection shouldn’t have a noose around my neck.
But the truth is, my mind has never released the pain or agony of her not wanting to raise me or be bothered with seeing me over the years.
It’s like she never had a child, and that is the pain I don’t want poor little Zakiyah to experience.
“Cece!” The sound of that voice penetrating my ears nearly freezes my blood when I exit the elevator.
My eyes bounce around the lobby as a few of my colleagues pass by, staring, and my blood pressure spikes from the sudden attention.
I have done my best to try and forget this man’s existence, and here he is at my place of employment.
Sighing, I shift my gaze to Kelvin, who stands dead center with a bouquet of roses, while smiling uneasily.
His observant eyes plead with me to be cool and not ignore him.
The vein in my neck thumps wildly as I slowly walk closer since there is mixed company in the vicinity.
I don’t want to draw further attention to this unexpected yet unwelcome visit.
“What the fuck do you want, Kelvin? Coming here is low even for a trifling ass nig . . .” Closing my eyes, I try to rein in my anger as my neck heats, and I bite my bottom lip to keep myself from truly crashing out in this public place.
Bashing this mothafucka in his face with my purse will land me in jail! Spitting in his face will have me circling the gossip around the water cooler the rest of the week.
My foolish ass let my nirvana of being in a relationship with Zakai prevent me from asking any probing questions. When a touch lands on my hand, my stomach clenches, and I take a ginger step back as my eyes open, Kelvin moves closer.
“Can we please talk outside, b—”
“Don’t you fucking dare call me that name. You have five minutes. Bring your ass, goofy.”
I sidestep Kelvin and plaster on a fake smile before heading toward the double doors that will lead us outside and away from prying eyes.
I can’t register anyone in our vicinity as my eyes burn with restraint while I fight to remain professional.
Kelvin’s heavy footsteps behind me further grate my fraying nerves as I push through the exit, breathing in and out heavily once the outside air slaps me in the face.
Once I’m a reasonable distance from the front entrance and away from being overheard, I twirl around, crossing my arms over my chest. I stare daggers at Kelvin and his audacity as he sighs before extending the bouquet of flowers toward me.
“I don’t want that shit. What do you want? How the fuck did you think it was okay for you to show up at my job?”
“I’ve tried calling and texting you with no response. I’m a desperate man, Caziya. I didn’t mean to fall for you, but my heart is a selfish organ where you’re concerned.”
A low, humorless laugh escapes my mouth at Kelvin’s words because how could he possibly believe we have anything to talk about?
“What’s so funny, b—”
“Don’t,” I grit, and the laugh instantly dies on my tongue as I roll my eyes. Prickles in my hair collide with the fury that fills my belly. “Somewhere between your last call and your drive here, you must have lost your memory.”
The nerve of this married ass nigga to pretend like everything between us is water under the bridge. Or that I should forget the status his wife had no problem broadcasting to an entire bar not long ago.
“There is nothing wrong with my memory, but you never gave me a chance to explain. Me and—We’re not on good terms and haven’t been for a while. Our situation is over; we just haven’t gotten around to finalizing the end.”
Another humorless laugh surfaces, and my eyes roll hard enough to get stuck in their sockets as I shake my head. This is the most inept and feeble attempt at explaining I have heard from someone who has wronged me.
“Riddle me this then. If things were over as you say, why did you kiss and leave with her like you didn’t want her to know your hand had been in the cookie jar?”
“Man. I had to save face. But I love—fuck.”
My hand goes across Kelvin’s face without permission or restraint from me before I can even register the act.
“Fuck your fake love with your lying, deceitful ass. You’re a man who enjoys the opportunity of dipping his dick in whomever he chooses without regard for the consequences that can arise. I wish like hell I never met your sorry tail.”
“Ce—”
“Shut the fuck up and make this the last time you approach me here or anywhere else. As far as I’m concerned, you are dead, nigga.”
With trembling limbs, pressure in my head, and barely controlled aggression, I turn and walk away while I’m still able.
My teeth have my bottom lip in a chokehold as I force myself to contain the emotions begging for clearance.
The reminder of being on the clock forces me to suck down every feeling as I reenter my building.
I nod and offer the security a slight upturn of my lips as my heels click-clack against the floors.
A sigh falls from my lips when the elevator car opens a second after I push the button.
When I exit the elevator on my floor, I stare at the carpet so I don’t have to pretend or make eye contact with anyone.
My eyes burn and brim with unshed tears as the urge to hear Zakai’s voice fills my mind.
I barrel into my office, my chest rising and falling rapidly, allowing me to catch my breath for the first time since seeing Kelvin.
With shaky hands, I close my door and walk on unsteady legs to my desk, sinking into my chair before grabbing my phone.
Once that’s done, I swivel my chair so it’s not facing the door and dial Zakai’s number as tears fall slowly.
“Well, this is a pleasant surprise. How’s my Ziya?” Zakai’s playful, deep, husky, and soul-stirring voice fills me with necessary comfort as I become a blubbering mess. “Whoa? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Talk to me, Caziya.”
For countless seconds, all I can do is cry as my encounter with Kelvin plays on repeat. I hear shuffling and fading voices coming from Zakai’s background before his voice changes when he speaks again.
“Please talk to me, Ziya. I’m not sure whether I need to track your location or check if I have my extra clip with me. You’re killing me. Either ease my mind or give me an address to pull up.”
I wipe my face and take a minute to run down everything that has happened over the last fifteen minutes or so.
“Have you taken your lunch break yet?”
I shake my head before I realize that Zakai can’t see the action. “N-no.”
“Perfect. Meet me at Desire’s Den of Risque.”
My brows hike, and wrinkles instantly form on my forehead as my lip curls because there must be something wrong with my hearing.
“Isn’t that a strip club?” I snarl as offense creeps into my bones, making me wonder if I’m going to have to end our relationship before it can get started well.
“Yes. But my request for you to meet me there isn’t what you’re thinking. Trust me. I’ll see you soon.” Without giving me a chance to respond, the call disconnects, and my eyes flutter as my mind analyzes whether I’m going to oblige him or not.
“Lord, it must be a day for letting niggas have it.” Sighing, I grab a tissue before cleaning my face and making myself presentable so I can leave my office.
Between my determination and resting bitch face, I manage to make it out of the building and on my way to meet Zakai within ten minutes.
My mind wanders, and my anxiety spikes from the uncertainty of what I’m about to walk into.
A heavy sigh falls from my lips when I pull into the lot designated for the strip club and see several vehicles.
“I’m not in the mood for this shit.” I retrieve my phone from my purse and send Zakai a text.
Me:
I’m here.
Zakai:
Come on in, I’ll meet you at the entrance.
“Now, Satan, I’m warning you now. While I have a nice Christian upbringing, I don’t have a problem joining you in the gutter.
Tread lightly, or I promise I won’t have an ounce of reservation giving Aunt Emmy more ammunition for her prayer closet.
” With nothing else to add, I exit my car and briskly walk to the entrance.
I step fully into the strip club, and my eyes bounce around the room as surprise fills me when not a single exotic dancer is visible.
It takes my mind a second to catch up with the unexpectedness of that fact when Zakai’s face comes into view.
Beside him is a woman whose familiarity with Zakai has my gaze bouncing between the two of them.
Before I can turn around and walk back out the door, Zakai pulls me into him and kisses me, instantly stealing my breath.
“Mm,” I moan.
“I missed you, Ziya. But fix your face; it ain’t what you think,” Zakai whispers after our kiss ends.
What’s crazy is that being in Zakai’s arms settles my spirit, mind, and disposition the longer he holds me close. A frown forms when our connection is broken as Zakai smirks before acknowledging the woman he walked up with.
“Like I said over the phone, despite this being a strip club, I wanted you to come here so you could help me sample the new menu my cousin is testing out for her patrons. This is my cousin, Alecia Clark. Cousin, this is my lady, Caziya.”
Oh shit! I totally misread this whole thing. Cousin?
A shred of doubt enters my mind until Zakai’s lips lightly touch mine a second time as if he realizes I need the silent confirmation that all is well.
“Let her breathe, Kai. Damn. Hello, Caziya. It’s nice to meet you. My sincere condolences on being the woman falling for my cousin’s affections.” Alecia smirks.
“It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.” I wink.
“Wow. For real, Ziya? You wound me.” Zakai’s face twists, and his lips twist into a frown that causes me and Alecia to laugh at his expense. “Come on so I can feed you, and you can give the details necessary to go hunting for the fool who wasn’t smart enough to stay away from you.”
A giddy feeling surges through me as my world and encounter with Kelvin melt with Zakai’s words.
Although I don’t have much information to share with Zakai regarding Kelvin’s whereabouts, it does something for my ego and bruised heart to hear his concern.
Maybe I should have let Zakai kick Kelvin’s ass at the bar that day.