Chapter 14 Zakai
My focus and attention are supposed to be on the family dinner at my parents’ house, where Zakiyah and I are currently.
I’m in a chokehold thanks to one person, though.
Caziya. The woman who has me changing my mind about my future.
The woman whose presence I didn’t realize had been missing in my life.
The woman I see myself building a life with.
The woman who’s the only one capable of becoming a stepmother to my daughter.
Caziya is, simply put, the woman my heart has been searching and longing for.
I didn’t realize how much I had been missing with the opposite sex until Caziya and I started dating.
Over the past few weeks, Caziya and I have been laying the foundation.
She’s been over to my house several times a week, and it has been a seamless journey.
My heart jumps, and my mind conjures possible proposal scenarios every time I see her praying with Zakiyah at bedtime.
My baby has taken to Caziya like bees on honey, and I’m no longer surprised by her excitement.
Caziya not only prays with Kiki but she also reads to her, paints her little toes on their makeshift spa days, and plays dolls with her.
I welcome it because Zakiyah has only been around and influenced by Ma and Asia.
With the addition of Caziya, Kiki is able to receive love and nourishment from someone without blood ties.
“Want Yaya, Daddy,” Zakiyah says, and returns my attention to my surroundings as my eyes land on my daughter.
Zakiyah isn’t able to say Caziya’s name, so the nickname is the alternative and seems to be easier for her to enunciate.
Her little eyes plead for me to magically produce Caziya, and her little hands rest on her waist. All I can do is chuckle because it’s another testament to Caziya’s presence in my life.
Zakiyah has become a traitor in the sense that she wants Caziya more than she wants me.
I want to be mad and jealous, but instead, my chest aches and my heart grows fonder for the woman in question.
“Later, Kiki,” I say before she rolls her eyes and huffs in protest.
I understand Zakiyah’s attitude because this isn’t her first time asking for Caziya, but I have done a good job at ignoring her up to this point. If Kiki had it her way, Caziya would always be with us.
“Uh, who’s Yaya? It’s not a name I’ve heard before, and I know the wives of your friends. I know you don’t have some random person around my grandbaby,” Ma asks.
I intended to brush Zakiyah off so I wouldn’t have to walk into this very line of questions. Maybe if I pretend to be deaf, Ma will forget that she wants a closer look into my personal life.
“I know you hear me talking, Zakai Elijah.” So much for not answering Ma, because the inflection of her voice while she calls me by my first and middle name tells me that I might as well give her the information she’s seeking.
“Uh, she’s the woman in my life,” I say, not feeling the hot seat my daughter has put me in as my eyes roam around the room.
Dad’s rapt attention is on me. Asia has a smirk on her lips, and her eyes shine with glee. Asia’s expression isn’t a surprise as she has tried to fix me up on several occasions. Asia supports me raising Zakiyah, but she doesn’t want me to be single while doing so.
“Woman in your life, huh? Why is this the first time we’re hearing anything about it?” Ma asks.
My gaze shifts to Zakiyah, whose eyes are still on me without an ounce of remorse.
The hardness in her stare would be comical if I weren’t under interrogation for her uttering Caziya’s name.
I can’t be mad at my baby, because I have been missing Caziya, too, despite seeing her yesterday.
Since Caziya and I had sex and I got to experience her lying on my chest, I have been like a dog with a bone.
It’s as if she were my first, and the presence of Zakiyah is confirmation that that's not true.
Nevertheless, Caziya has my damn nose wide open, and I want to live in her skin.
“Boy,” Ma says, effectively causing my attention to return to the conversation at hand.
“It’s new, Ma. I’ve been feeling things out, so it hasn’t been time to make y’all aware of my budding relationship.”
Although my heart has been in go mode with what Caziya and I have, my mind wanders with reservations.
Zakiyah’s mother was the last woman I’ve been in a serious relationship with.
When it fizzled and went out like a sparkler on the Fourth of July, I haven’t been receptive to commitment in that regard.
Part of me is afraid of putting myself in that position and getting my heart broken.
The other part of me is skeptical of what it could mean for my life.
My life isn’t my own, and if I develop feelings for a woman who walks all over them, it will affect Zakiyah and me.
“So, how does feeling things out involve my granddaughter? Your reservations haven’t been bad enough to keep your daughter out of it. So, what’s the real deal?” Dad asks, entering the conversation for the first time.
Walter Tillman is an observer by nature, so it doesn’t surprise me that he’s been quiet up to this point. For the most part, he allows Ma to talk without adding his commentary. But when he does, it’s usually in a thought-provoking way and without malice.
“Honestly, the introduction between Caziya and Zakiyah was by happenstance. I met Caziya first, and then we bumped into each other while I was getting ice cream for Kiki. The thing that caught me off guard is that Zakiyah read something worth clinging to with Caziya. She was smiling and receptive to Caziya in a way I have only seen her do with family,” I provide as the memory surfaces and a goofy smile slides into place from that encounter.
“Don’t—”
“Be—”
Ma and Dad’s words come simultaneously before Dad extends his hand for Ma to have the floor first.
“Thanks, honey,” Ma tells Dad before her eyes land on me, and she finishes her statement. “Don’t be so quick to let someone into your life. People can pull the wool over your eyes and then suffocate you with that same fabric once you’re comfortable.”
“Wow.” Asia laughs before her humor is cut with a glare from Ma.
“What your mother is trying to say is what I’ll say too. Be careful not only with your daughter but with your heart. Don’t allow your vulnerability to trip you into believing you’re ready if you’re not,” Dad says.
A frown forms, and my chest tightens because I don’t like the insinuation my parents try to make about my woman.
“First off, I’m quite capable of judging a person’s character and reading them.
I appreciate the advice, but in this case, it’s not necessary.
Caziya is different. She’s a woman of substance, merit, and values that you’ve raised me to seek after.
I’ve also been around Caziya enough to believe that the person I’m getting to know is worth not only having around me but also Zakiyah.
I appreciate you all trying to look out for me, but I've got it. This isn’t my first rodeo post-Danica.
But it is the first time I have felt the need to include Kiki.
No woman I’ve entertained has been able to breathe Kiki’s air until now, and I don’t think it’s going to backfire. ”
The tightness in my chest fades, and the lingering concern I had evaporates upon speaking my peace about Caziya. The more I say about Caziya and her intentions, the more I believe that she’s every good thing Kiki and I deserve to have.
“Well, you better tell them, big brother,” Asia cosigns.
“Alright. I won’t interfere or say anything else. I trust that you know what you’re doing. But I want to meet this young lady. When you’re ready, of course,” Ma says.
“Want Yaya, Daddy.” Zakiyah smiles. All I can do is shake my head because after all that, my daughter hasn’t forgotten her desire to be in Caziya’s presence.
“Later. I promise.” The declaration is one I intend to keep because after this discussion, the urge to lay eyes on my woman has my chest aching.
“I guess my grandbaby has spoken her peace. If she were saying something negative about Yaya, then we could have reason to question her authenticity. For now, let’s see where this goes,” Dad says before picking Zakiyah up before the five of us head to the dining room to eat.
Well, I guess that’s the pin in this conversation for now, thanks to Dad and his ability to know just what to say. With my thoughts on the woman of the hour, I stop and pull my phone from my pocket to text Caziya.
Me:
Thanks to Kiki and her need to be up under you, you were the pre-dinner topic. But like your little sidekick, I need to see you today.
Caziya must be somewhere with her phone already in her hands because her reply comes quickly. A smirk forms when I read her reply because I can only imagine how much my words catch her off guard.
Caziya:
Pre-dinner topic? Should I be worried? *wide eyes emoji*
Me:
Not at all. Kiki just kept saying she wanted Yaya, and it caused my parents to question who that was. Nothing significant, and definitely nothing to worry about. But am I coming to you or are you coming to my crib when we leave here?
Caziya:
Aw, my pooh. I miss her cute little self too. You can come to me. I had a toddler bed delivered for Zakiyah today, so you can spend the night if you'd like.
See, this is why Caziya has my damn heart doing backflips, and I can’t go days without laying my eyes on her. A woman who doesn’t mind including my child is a woman worthy of defending against anyone and everyone.
Me:
You want me to tell you I love you now or when I see you? Damn, Ziya. I hope you’re ready for a long-term commitment because I ain’t about to let your beautiful ass go.
Caziya:
LOL
“Are you coming to eat with us, Zakai?” Ma’s voice rings out, and I quickly type my response before I continue to my destination.
Me:
Ain’t shit funny. I’m serious as a heart attack, woman. I love your ass but you’re fast-tracking your way daily toward me being in love with you.
Caziya:
Mhm. Talk is cheap. Mister. I’m a woman who stands on actions. Show and prove. *winking emoji*
Me:
Say less. I’m gonna run home and pack a ho bag for me and an overnight bag for Kiki. Then we’ll be on your doorstep. *kissing emoji*
My eyes blink rapidly when I hit send and see the emoji at the end of the message because I have never sent a text that includes one.
A low chuckle escapes my mouth at the knowledge that Caziya indeed has me moving out of character.
Caziya better buckle up because once the last ounce of transition in the love department happens, she won’t be able to get rid of me.
I can’t blame her fire pussy for my feelings either, because my strong attraction and developing love happened before then.
Although, since I know how well my dick molds to her tight walls, it’s more of an incentive to take the in-love plunge.
With my mind on Caziya’s body lying on my chest, I enter the dining room ready to consume dinner so Kiki and I can get out of here.