Chapter 13 What Do We Do Now? #2
“No. No, he didn’t. He told me on more than one occasion that he married me because of my father.
I used to think it was my fault. I couldn’t do anything right.
The more I tried, the more I failed.” Bianca smiles sadly.
“I thought after Anita was born, he’d soften, at least with his baby girl, but he showed no interest in his daughter.
And when Alia was born, he was so angry because I didn’t give him a son.
” Bianca bursts into tears. I’m not sure if she’s crying over the loss of her husband or over the life she dreamed of having that never came to be.
Serafina holds Bianca as the tears flow. When the tears subside, Bianca looks up at me and asks, “What happens to me and the girls?” Her lower lip trembles. “I don’t want to go home to my parents.”
“How do you feel about living with Vera in the guesthouse on my property? That way, you and the girls can be close to Serafina and have the help you might need with the girls,” I suggest.
“Really? You—you wouldn’t mind?” She’s clearly in shock that I would suggest such a thing.
“Serafina loves her family, and it would be good for her to have you all close when I’m working.
My parents live close by, so you can be sure my mother will be visiting often,” I tell her.
“Nero will take you to pick up Anita and Alia. He’ll take you to our home to wait for us.
Pack what you need for the next couple of days.
Serafina and I need to go to Vera and break the news. We’ll meet you back at the house.”
Serafina asks Bianca, “Will you be all right?”
“I just need a few minutes. I have to tell the girls about their father. I’m not sure how to do that,” she replies in a soft voice.
“Wait until we’re together,” Serafina suggests. Bianca nods in agreement.
Once Bianca is calm and has gone upstairs to pack, Serafina and I leave with Marco to break the news to Serafina’s mother.
Regardless of how shitty Giusto was as a father, husband, son, and brother, he’ll always be a little boy to his mother.
The news of Giusto’s death is going to hit her hard, no matter how we tell her.
Serafina is concerned for her mother’s weak heart.
Unfortunately, this is a task neither of us is happy about, yet it is necessary.
Serafina
Mom is lying down upstairs in one of the spare bedrooms. She sobbed and clung to me for what seemed an eternity.
She cried for the loss of her son, and for the loss of a husband and father of a young family.
Eros explained the plan to have Bianca and her daughters come live with Mom in the guesthouse.
This relieved her fears somewhat, but still, she is a grieving mother, and her heart is broken.
This is the first moment I’ve had to myself all day. Eros is in the study with Marco and Nero. Bianca is in the kitchen getting a snack for the girls, while I walk out onto the terrace and sit on the bench, breathing in the scent of the summer lilac breeze, with the trees filled with blooms.
I want to cry, but I can’t. I’m too angry.
Why did Giusto do the things he did? If it were any other man, Bianca and my nieces would be ostracized from the family.
It wouldn’t matter that they were innocents in all that Giusto had done; their lives would be miserable.
Eros is taking in my family and making them part of our home. I know this brings peace to my mother.
It was Giusto’s hate for Eros that was his demise. How can I love and hate my brother at the same time?
“Come inside, gioia mia.” I hear Eros’s deep voice. I twist to see him at the double French doors. “You need to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to keep up your strength.”
“His hate consumed him. Getting rid of you was his undoing. Why did he hate you so much?” I blurt out.
Eros steps out onto the terrace and sits beside me on the bench, sliding an arm around my shoulders.
“I wish I could give you an answer.” He sighs.
“You know my feelings about your brother. I won’t pretend to care for him now.
I’m not a hypocrite. My sister came home bloody, beaten, and raped.
I saw her that night, and I would have killed him then if it weren’t for my father.
He wanted justice through La Famiglia, and when that didn’t happen, I left.
I left because I could not stand to watch Giusto carry on getting whatever he wanted when my sister lay buried in a box at the cemetery.
I know Giusto was livid when Marco made me underboss, but his hatred came before that. ”
“It did. He used to come home and rant to Dad about you. Even as a teenager, he’d go on about you, Nero, and Luciano.
I think he was jealous of the friendship you have with them.
I remember Giusto having a party at the house and inviting Nero and Luciano, but not you.
They didn’t come, and Giusto blamed you for that.
Dad told him he was being childish, but Giusto blew a gasket and stormed out of the house,” I tell Eros.
“Did he say anything before he…died?” I ask, hoping for some sort of remorse for his past wrongdoings.
His face hardens. “He did. But it’s not what you’re looking for, Fi.”
“What did he say, Eros? I need to know.”
“It won’t bring you solace.”
“Please.”
He raised his eyes to the heavens. “Giusto says that even when he’s dead, this won’t be over.”
“What does that mean?”
“Damned if I know. But Nero, Luciano, and I aren’t taking this lightly.
We have extra guards and a new security system being installed at my parents’ place, and none of you are to go without a bodyguard.
The girls too. They will go to school accompanied by one of my men.
This could just be Giusto’s way to upset me, but I’m not taking any chances. ”
“I hate him.” The words come out with such venom, I hardly recognize my own voice.
“No, baby, you loved him. You couldn’t feel this much sadness and hurt if the disappointment wasn’t so great. You were hoping the brother you knew as a child would return, but he’s gone, and that man was gone long before his death,” Eros replies, pulling me closer and kissing my temple.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask.
“We continue to live our lives. One day at a time, babe.”
“I should go in and check on Mom,” I say reluctantly. I don’t want to leave the warmth of his embrace. It all seems so much easier when Eros is with me.
“A few more minutes to ourselves,” he replies, holding me tighter. I close my eyes and relish the calm.