Chapter 35 Cecilia
CECILIA
Iwas in the middle of another dream where my sister and I were children again.
They were happening often now, and my heart ached at the memory of my favorite person, constantly haunting me and telling me that I’d failed her.
In the dark of the dream all of a sudden, her face morphed into another, and I felt hands groping and reaching for me from all directions.
Hands that reached and grabbed me without permission, touching every inch of my body.
Hands that roughly undressed me, and stole away my will, my ability to fight back.
Hands that washed me with too much vigor and didn’t care that I was crying out in pain.
I heard my name being called but I couldn't respond, the drugs were making me drool and my tongue was too swollen to answer.
I’m here! Please get me the fuck out of here!
How did I end up in this box again?
I crawled back against the cold concrete until I felt the lion’s hot breath against the vicious split crossing my back.
The sharp sting of cold water hit me once again right before he could bite.
I woke up gasping for air in a panic, but Mateo was already there holding me by the shoulders, like he’d been trying to coax me out of the nightmare for a while.
I looked over his shoulder to see the phone brightly lit, four eighteen mocking me on his lock screen as another sleepless night passed by.
“You’re okay now. You’re okay,” he reassured me, but I shook my head, knowing that I wasn’t, that I’d never been, and would probably never get to be okay ever again.
Still, I just kept moving forward anyway.
I was piling trauma on top of trauma as if it were the thread that was stitching together the shell of the person I’d become. With gentle hands he held my face, pressing his forehead into mine, breathing deeply as he continued to murmur the soft encouragement.
But that wasn’t what I needed. I needed to feel something other than the blemish those monsters left on me.
I didn’t hesitate this time, I kissed him with no reservation left in my body.
I knew now that Mateo wouldn't hurt me. He continued to prove it to me over and over again and I wouldn’t fight him on it, not anymore.
He broke the kiss, “We shouldn’t.” A frown forming above his eyes with his words, “You heard Emory.”
“She doesn’t know me, she doesn’t know what I can or can’t handle.” I responded as I climbed over him and straddled his waking erection.
“You just went through hell,” his frown didn’t let up.
“I’ve been going through hell since I was a child.
Don’t deny me this. I can feel their hands all over me, touching me without my permission.
” I was starting to break, and I didn’t want to do it in front of him again, but it looked like my body wasn’t going to give me a choice as I began to shake from fighting the tears.
“I don’t want to feel them on me anymore.
I want to feel something else.” I fought the cracks tearing at my edge, “Please, Mateo.”
He leaned forward, abandoning all reservation and initiating the kiss, his lips pressing into mine, softer and warmer than I expected.
I surrendered to the heat of our connection, moaning against his tongue as it collided with mine, wiping away every worry that clouded my brain.
There were too many emotions, too many feelings, and too many dark callous thoughts.
In a sudden movement, he repositioned us so that we were both sitting now, me on his lap, firmly against his erection, and him with his back against the headboard.
“There’s no going back if we do this. I won’t let you get away, I won’t let you leave. Do you understand what that means?” There was a wild look in his black-as-night eyes that somehow burned brighter with his question.
I nodded, knowing damn well I would have agreed to anything to liberate my mind, to replace this feeling with anything the only thing that could fix me. The only thing I so desperately needed.
Him.
Mateo kept one hand behind my neck, trailing the other between my thighs. My heart spiked, the anticipation already more than I could handle, my breath hitching at the light touch of his fingers barely grazing over my already dripping center.
I gasped at the teasing motion, feeling a smirk draw at his lips from my reaction.
Two could play that game, I didn’t think twice before reaching into his boxers and wrapping my hand around his thick, veiny shaft.
I pumped up and down a few times until I let my thumb rub against the tip of his cock in a slow, torturous way that left him growling in my ear.
“Tell me that you want this. Because once I bury my cock deep in that pussy of yours, you won’t ever forget what it feels like to have me inside you again.” He gritted out, lifting my chin up to look at him.
“I want this. I need you.” I confirmed again what we both couldn’t deny.
He pushed my hand off his erection and in one smooth move he grabbed my ass with both hands and lifted me off his lap, just enough to guide the head of his dick into my entrance.
There was no follow through. He held me there, suspended in the air, too many questions floating through his chaotic mind, keeping him from pulling the trigger.
With a quiet whimper I squirmed against him, desperate to feel more.
I knew we’d lose this moment if he kept trying to follow with logic. So I decided for us, instead. I dropped my hands to his shoulder, pushing down with all my weight, feeling the delicious thickness of his size stretching me with a slight sting.
Biting my lips through the feeling of fullness, I stopped halfway, not wanting to do something he wasn’t a hundred percent on board with, but also not wanting him to take this away from us. I raised my eyes to meet his.
“Do you remember what I said the first day you showed up here?” He growled against my lips, holding me in place, not letting me come down any further.
I shook my head at him as I waited nervously, needing so badly for more, for anything, as long as it came from him.
“I told you I didn’t fuck anyone who didn’t beg me for it, Sunshine,” his lips curved, a dark, twisted smirk displaying.
I felt his hands on my ass, squeezing tight before pulling my cheeks apart. Fighting the moans and whines became the hardest game of all, attempting to stay quiet while he proceeded to continue his torment, teasing the swollen clit between my legs until I gave him what he wanted.
“Please…Please…Please,” I chanted, not caring how desperate I sounded.
Whatever shame I might have felt for begging didn’t last a second after he thrust his hips up, stabbing into me with his full length. I gasped, his size more than I had been prepared for. Mateo laid there, unmoving, giving me the time I needed to adjust to him inside me before I began to move.
He guided my hip with one hand, and with the other, touched my clit, making circles with his fingers that had my head spinning and my body begging for release. With each stroke he took more control, moving me to his own tempo as he sped and slowed our movements at his own demand.
“You’re a fucking marvel.” He whispered in my ear, “I wish you could see yourself bouncing on my cock like this.”
I didn’t need to see, I could feel it, I was a symphony, and he was conducting me in the most melodic way.
I was riding him but somehow, he was the one in control.
The crescendo was building, and all I wanted was to unwind that tight coil that had been building in my core, but it wouldn’t unwind.
No, it would explode and shatter out of me like a window breaking through a hurricane.
I’d been drowning on my own for so long, but now I was fully submerged in the ocean that was Mateo Kane and I never wanted to come up for a breath again.
His fingers worked magic between my legs, as if they had been charged with lighting.
It took only a few more precise pinches and I was gasping and whimpering, biting back my screams. He thrust into me mercilessly, coaxing an earth-shattering climax out of my body that pulled him right under the waves with me.
I could feel the pulse of his cock through his orgasm, his release emptying into me, his gaze never straying from mine.
“No way around it now,” he husked, grabbing my face with both of his large hands and pressing his lips to mine once more. “You’re mine.”
My brain had completely shut off at this point, and my body was being driven by the primal urge to be with him, to bring life to this connection between us.
I ground against him, no end in sight as he continued exploring my body with his hands and my mouth with his tongue, his cock stirring back to life inside me.
We began to move again, slower this time as he let me control the speed. I moved lazily, closing my eyes, and really getting to know every inch of him as it claimed its way deep inside me.
Mateo ran his hands over the bandages that covering my nipples and snarled against my mouth in disapproval even though he was the one who wrapped me. I brought my hands to the top of his shoulders and focused on the pleasure building deep within my core again as I tipped my head back with bliss.
“Fuck…Yes…” Mateo groaned as he lowered his back to the bed and let me grind against him in a meticulous way that had another climax quickly begging to be unleashed. “Use my cock to make yourself come, Sunshine,” the filthy words made me clench around him tighter.
I could feel my wetness mixed with his cum starting to drip out of me with every bounce and thrust, but I didn’t care, and by the look on his face, I would have wagered he didn’t mind too much either.
He moved his attention back to between my legs, but I was still too sensitive from the previous orgasm to be touched.
That dimpled smirk showed it self as he moved my hands out of the way, rubbing those sensitive nerve endings regardless.
I held my breath from the hot intensity of his fingers against my clit, and unravelling into another mind-bending, full-body orgasm that, for once, had me unable to scream, or make any single noise.
I collapsed on his chest from exhaustion, his panting heavy, chest rising and falling against my weight as we synced our breathing.
Mateo pulled me closer to him, squeezing me even tighter into his chest. Was he planning to sleep like this, his dick still inside of me?
My questions were answered at the first sound of his snore.
Closing my eyes, I surrendered, letting sleep take me away again for another torturous hour, before the next bucket of water would surely come.
It was nearly six when I woke up again, this time I managed to do it a little quieter than the last, or maybe he was just that tired from all my wakeups, because Mateo stayed well asleep next to me.
I could feel a heated stare lasering in, and I didn’t have to look at the shadow sitting in the corner to know who was there.
I struggled my way into a sitting position, trying to hide how much pain I was in.
“You let him fuck you,” he said, the coldness in his tone was enough to splinter me into pieces, but why he cared, was beyond me.
“Actually, I think technically I fucked him,” I said the words like a weapon, sharp and ready to wound, but regretted it immediately. I don’t know why I cared if it upset Santos that I slept with Mateo, but I couldn’t ignore the hurt in his voice. Even if I didn’t think he had a right to be.
I wasn’t anyone’s.
I wasn’t a prize to be won or a princess in a tower who needed claiming.
They all seemed to be trying to figure out who my body belonged to, and they were going to have a harsh reality check once they realized that person, was me.
It was impossible to look past the fact that when I needed Santos, when I came to him for help, he stood by while they threw me in that cage and let Ronan hurt me.
I looked back at the black-haired mystery next to me and sighed heavily knowing I had already forgiven Mateo for everything he’d put me through the last few months, even if I didn’t think I was ready to tell him that just yet.
So did Santos deserve to be blamed for Ronan’s mistakes?
Groaning as I slid my legs against the satin sheets, I worked my way off the bed so as not to wake him.
I almost fell once both my feet hit the ground, my legs not quite ready to walk just yet.
Santos moved toward me as if to help, but then frowned, correcting himself instead.
I hissed from pain as I clutched the wall and used it to get myself up.
“Promise me you won’t tell Ronan yet,” I looked him in the eyes, some part of me knowing it wasn’t fair to pit them against each other.
I needed to tell Ronan on my own terms. I couldn’t risk him taking this out on Mateo.
Not over me.
He growled out a wordless response and darted his eyes towards his sleeping friend.
“Let’s go,” he said, tugging at my wrist and pulling me towards the door.
“Where?” Was all I could muster, but my brain was going a million miles an hour and Santos’ strange demeanor was making me anxious.
I tried to fight the panic that wanted to claw its way out, but even though I knew damn well he wasn’t fully capable of putting me in that box, there was something about him that wasn’t right tonight.
“We need to talk?now,” the coldness tone in his voice confirmed my fears were right.