Chapter 66 Santos
SANTOS
It was as if I was constantly being punished.
I wasn’t ignorant enough to say things like, “I didn’t know for what”. The list was endless. I had sins that had expired by basic statute of limitations, but that didn’t mean I didn’t need to repent for them.
Her mouth open, my cock deep in her throat.
All I could see was Guillermo.
Her sacrifice.
My fucking shame.
Not being able to do enough to keep her from his brutality.
It had been eating me alive, and though she’d left me to commiserate without pushing, I knew I’d eventually have to face her, face myself, face my regrets.
She turned fully, folding her legs under her and sitting on her heels on the bed. She didn’t look back to see what Mateo was doing, she stayed focused on me.
“What is it you see when you look at me Santos?” she asked, her voice not wavering.
I scanned over her body, from the scar on her face, to the small brand below her breast. Both scars matched mine. That meant something.
It had to.
“I see the strongest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” I answered with the truth.
“What else do you see?” she asked, knowing I was holding back.
“I see my failures. I see all the ways I should have protected you but wasn’t able to.” I cupped her face, thumbing the scar on her cheek.
I would have taken both of them if I could have.
“Take your shirt off,” she told me again, this time her voice rang with authority.
“Celia,” I warned her.
They’d seen the extent of my injuries, but now that they were healed it was different.
I didn’t look so much like a victim as I did a monster.
Not even a monster but a monster’s plaything, covered in holes and crooked stitching.
“Take your shirt off,” she gritted out, her fingers gripping the hem of the fabric.
I inhaled, wrapping my fingers over hers and letting her guide the shirt over my head. I held that exhale at the bottom of my lungs and waited for any of them to say something, anything, to confirm how disgusting I knew I now looked.
“Fuck man.” Mateo was the first to break the silence.
She ran her fingers over the areas where skin was puckered and raised up, scar tissue doing its best to heal wounds that had been ignored.
“Ask me what I see when I look at you,” she said quietly.
“Morena.” I sighed again, wishing I could make her understand that it wasn’t about how I looked, but how I felt.
And I felt like a monstrous failure. Her fingers lingered over the raised up scar in the shape of the five petal flower.
“I see a man that belongs to me. A man who selflessly sacrificed himself for me.
A man who gave me everything, including the courage to keep going.
Their hatred and their insecurities may have left a permanent mark on you Santos, but all I see is a declaration of love.
That scar on your face is the same as that brand on your chest and both of them say ‘property of Celia Flores to me.”
This woman was a titan, and I was a mere mortal, searching for a place to worship her even if just in evanescence. I would let her have me for as long as she considered me worthy.
“All of this is my fault,” I reminded her before looking up at the rest of them.
Ronan ran his fingers over his face like I was ruining the moment, but she seemed unfazed by it all.
“I’m so tired of figuring out who’s to blame. We’ve all fucked up tremendously. Isn’t that enough?” she asked.
“I haven’t.” Mateo smirked and she actually laughed, cracking the serious mask she wore and making my heart flutter with nostalgia.
I used to be able to do that to her.
“I guess that settles it, you can both get out,” she said, turning back towards Mateo, locking her arms around his neck, and pressing her lips to his.
“Sorry sunshine, you’re not calling the shots on this.” He spun her around, one hand gripping one of her perfect tits and the other traveling down to her hip.
He shoved his knees between her legs, spreading them apart from behind and putting her on display for both Ronan and me.
She moaned loudly, dropping her head against his chest and grinding her pussy against his thigh.
“Somebody touch me, please.” Her eyes found Ronan’s who then found mine.
How we had gone from him wanting to punch my lights out for loving her, to asking me to fuck her was beyond me. It was time I dropped all my insecurities. I could do it if Zerkos could too.
I climbed up onto the bed and on my knees I made my way towards her. She was dripping all over his thigh, a look of need glimmering through those black eyes of hers.
“Please,” she whimpered again.
I turned my face to Zerkos.
He gave me a crooked smile.
“Fuck her so good she doesn’t know whose name to cry out.”
I pinched her chin between my thumb and the side of my index finger.
“Is that what you want, Morena?”
“Please.”