Chapter 3
Jolene
Starla's table looks like a craft store explosion, with every color of sequins, beads, and felt for the Christmas stockings she needs help making. Bellamie, me, and another friend, Penny, all showed up to help her finish her commitment to the foster care agency.
I have my suspicions about why she didn’t finish them last night, but bide my time asking. Krampus asked her out, and I think she went.
I sew a line of gold beads onto the harness around the felt reindeer’s neck then pass it to Penny.
My mind still buzzes from the parade. The reindeer wrangler fantasy lingers in my thoughts.
It rivals for space with my stepbrother fantasy.
We’re all more than a little obsessed with our stepbrothers.
They’d assumed I had the best chance of hooking up with mine, since Hudson invited me to live with him and he pays all of the bills. But we’re still in separate bedrooms.
“Either of you think your stepbrothers will show up at the auction?”
No luck for any of us. Starla sews silver beads onto a felt snowflake. “I checked the weather and it’s not supposed to snow Friday.”
I whoop. “Good thing. I’d lose my mind if we got snowed out like the virgins from last year.”
“I can’t believe the waitresses stepped up to help. That would be too much for me.” Penny attaches the reindeer I passed to her onto a felt stocking.
She’s pretty reserved, but I thought the allure of a luxurious future might win her over.
Bellamie asks her, “Do you regret turning the invitation down, Penny?”
Penny pauses her sewing. We give her a second. “I don’t know how they chose who to send invitations to. Why me? I’ve thought about it so many times–how simple it should be to get on stage, let the men bid, and find a happily ever after.”
“I bet you could still do it.” I grab my phone, ready to see if we can get her in.
Penny moves her hands to her lap. “I said it would be simple, not easy. I get anxious just thinking about stepping on stage, presenting myself to the bidders.”
Her breathing heightens, and Bellamie rubs her shoulder. “It’s okay, Penny. No one will force you.”
I smile warmly as Bellamie says, “She’s right, Penny, there’s no pressure for you to participate in the auction if you don’t want to. But–”
A buzz from my phone draws my attention. I tap the screen to dismiss my brother Jeremy’s message and continue playfully. “But, I think it’s time we force Bellamie to tell us why she couldn’t finish these stockings last night.”
Bellamie sets her sewing down and steeples her fingers in front of her mouth. “I took your advice and went out with Krampus.”
“You did?!” My surprise bubbles out.
She gives us enough details that it’s clear we’ve unleashed a beast. She thinks they’re soulmates or something and isn’t sure she’ll do the auction.
“Excellent backup plan. Not that you'll need one.” I’m sure we’ll all be fine at the auction, but if not, she has Krampus, and I have a poop scooper.
This auction really needs to work.
Another text message alert draws my attention. My heart stops. My phone instantly rings. “I need to take this.”
I rush outside, needing space to absorb the message that my cousin passed away.
I answer Jeremy’s call when I can breathe in the cool air, relieving the feeling of suffocation. “Is this some sick—”
“It’s not. And there’s no easy way to put this. She named you as guardian of Jane.”
“What?” My chest tightens and I’m not sure if the word makes it out of my mouth or not.
“You’re now the mother of a two-year-old.”
“Why me?” Why not Jeremy? Why not any other relative? Can I say no? I’m sweating despite the cold air.
“I don’t know. Trust me, I’m shocked too.”
Jeremy’s comment isn’t even offensive. Everyone knows I’m not mom material. We wrap up the call and I breathe deeply, sucking in gulps of air a few more times, waiting to wake up. I don’t.
Returning to my friends, I say, “I have to leave.”
“What's wrong?” Bellamie asks.
They all get up from the table and help me get my things.
“Am I cursed?” I ask, feeling selfish that I can even think about myself right now.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t do the auction.”
“Why?”
“I've just been named guardian of my cousin’s two-year-old daughter."
Silence fills the room before I share the tragic details of my cousin’s car wreck. She was a single mom and had the foresight to name a guardian—me.
Starla turns to Penny. “I’m betting you don’t want to take Jolene’s place either?”
Did somebody ask Penny to take their place in the auction? Is Bellamie that serious about Krampus?
Penny shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t. But Jolene can still do the auction.”
My shoulders slump. “I have a kid now. Don’t get me wrong. I love her.”
Penny’s tone is calm. “You're still a virgin.”
“Who would want to bid on a mom?” Reality drops on me in clumps. “Oh my god. I’d have to hire a babysitter.”
Bellamie’s phone rings but she finishes the call quickly and brings me a tissue. “Time to make a game plan for Mama Jo.”
I think I hate the nickname.
Bellamie’s quick to offer, “I can whip up some casseroles for your freezer and coordinate meals so that you don't have to do any cooking while you transition into motherhood. And I'll definitely help with babysitting, because I'm guessing you're going to have to get some affairs in order.”
Starla offers to help too. Penny says,” I'll cook meals for you and I can run errands, but don't ask me to babysit.”
“I have the best friends.” Despite my words, for the first time ever, I struggle to feel joy.
Bellamie says, “You don’t have to go into motherhood alone. We’re here for you. And if I can remain a virgin by turning down sex with the hottest, most perfect guy I've ever met, we can certainly find you a babysitter for Friday night.”
"Hudson will lose it if I spring a two-year-old on him. He's so tidy. I think he already realized he made a mistake by inviting me to live with him."
"He adores you," Starla assures me.
"He did, but he's been dropping hints about settling down, futures, and commitments. I haven't been able to figure out if he's trying to tell me he has a girlfriend, or that I need to get a life." I squeeze my eyes shut. "Either way, I can't be a third wheel with a kid, cluttering his world."
"Take a breath," Bellamie says calmly.
"I quit my job." The words tumble out.
Starla scoots closer, her knee bumping mine. "They'll take you back at the coffee shop. They loved you."
I shake my head. "It's barely enough to support me, much less a toddler? Oh my god, what about college? I need to start saving up for that. I see the error of my—"
"Calm down," Starla gives me a hug. "No need to worry about college yet. Do you think your cousin had life insurance?"
"Not a chance. She jumped from one dead-end job to another."
Bellamie asks, "What about the baby's father?"
"She wasn't sure who it was, but said she'd told the most likely candidate. He ghosted her. Not the type of person you want in a kid's life. Jane needs stability."
Bellamie squeezes my shoulder. "Look at you going into mom mode already."
I cringe. Did she not hear me say that Jane needs stability? How am I supposed to provide that?
Starla reframes their earlier support. "You might be the cool aunt to our kids someday, but we'll be the doting aunts to yours now."
Bellamie gives wholehearted agreement.
A dark laugh bubbles up. "What if I screw up? What if I break her?"
"You won't," Starla assures me.
The shock subsides enough that tears threaten. I blink them back. "I need to tell Hudson."
I type out a text to him: We need to talk right away.
"Want us to tag along?"
"Thanks, but I need to do this alone."
Starla says, "We're a call away—day, night, meltdown o'clock. Backup squad activated."
Warmth spreads through my chest, easing the edge of the fear. This isn't the adventure I'd hoped for.