Chapter 19 Grace
Chapter nineteen
Grace
Iwoke up to banging.
Last night I’d curled up in bed before seven after washing down a couple of ibuprofens to try to squash the migraine that was blinding me.
I’d spent the afternoon with Daisy in the barn making sure she was settled and had everything she needed.
She was a cute little thing and even though Cole kept calling her rib eye, brisket, or even sirloin, which frankly was a ridiculous name for a female calf, I knew he was just as smitten with her as I was.
I rolled over and rubbed my eyes. Beside me the bed was empty, and the rumpled sheets were cold.
I checked the time. It was a little after seven, but not too late.
I climbed out of bed, making a beeline for the bathroom.
After taking care of business, I brushed my teeth and splashed water on my face.
Still in my pajamas, I padded to the kitchen to start the coffee.
Maybe once I had some caffeine in my system, I’d feel more human and be able to function.
There was no doubt about it, I was feeling flat but that wasn’t Cole’s problem.
I had to get my shit together, figure out what I was going to do with my life.
I needed to start putting one foot in front of the other.
It was time to stop just existing and start living again.
The banging came again, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. The last thing I needed was for my horrendous headache to return, but I couldn’t very well tell Cole to keep the noise down. It was his place. I was just crashing here for a while. The problem was, I had no idea how long that would be.
My coffee finished bubbling, and I cradled it in my hands before heading back into the bedroom.
Zane had been gone for a few days, and it was nice to be able to walk around and not have to worry about not wearing a bra and giving him a show.
Cole certainly didn’t care, but I wouldn’t have done it if Zane was still here.
I set my coffee on the bedside table beside me before sitting on the bed, propping the pillows up behind me.
Once I was settled, I picked up my phone and scrolled.
My feed was flooded but it didn’t surprise me.
Today was my birthday and thanks to social media, everyone knew it.
Even with all the birthday wishes popping up, I was under no illusion that they actually cared.
It was just what was expected these days.
Ignoring the well wishes, I scrolled on and sipped my coffee.
Cole had no idea today was my birthday and I was in no hurry to tell him.
I didn’t want a fuss. I didn’t feel like I had much to celebrate.
At this point in my life, I was basically couch surfing, unemployed, and completely lost. You’d think when you hit that big three-oh you’d have your life together.
At least I thought I would. Thirty was a scary number for me.
It was the one that meant you’d made it or you hadn’t.
And if I was measuring my accomplishments, I was certainly a disappointment. No husband. No kids. Not even a dog.
I knew wallowing wasn’t going to make me feel better and I had to start getting on with it. After yesterday, it was glaringly obvious my future wasn’t at the B&B, so I had to figure something else out. And I had to figure it out fast.
Last night over dinner, I suggested Cole let me pay something toward rent.
To say he was unimpressed was an understatement.
Livid was a better description. He didn’t want my money, and I didn’t want his charity.
After twenty minutes of arguing, we agreed to disagree and iced the conversation.
For now. I wouldn’t let up and if he wouldn’t take my money, then I’d find other ways to pay him.
Starting with doing a load of laundry and changing the sheets.
I finished my coffee and rolled out of bed, this time with a plan. I stripped the sheets before tossing them in the washer and headed for a shower.
I stood under the water until it ran cold. It was one of those everything showers. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until I stepped out onto the bathmat, wrapped a towel around me, and wiped the condensation from the mirror.
I’d shaved, exfoliated, washed, and moisturized every inch of my body and I was finally starting to feel like me.
I dressed in denim cutoffs and one of Cole’s faded Army shirts.
There was something about wearing his shirts that I was addicted to.
Maybe it was his scent that had seeped into the fabric or maybe it was their size.
I wasn’t a little girl, but in one of Cole’s shirts, I felt delicate and small.
I was sitting on the front porch steps, lacing my tennis shoes when Cole appeared. He wore a pair of faded denim jeans and a gray T-shirt that looked way too snug around his biceps and had a wet ring around the neck from his sweat.
“Morning. How you feeling?” Cole greeted as Rocket bounced down the steps and lay at his feet, rolling onto his back.
“Better. Sorry about last night. I was wrecked,” I admitted, hating how weak it made me sound.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
“Better,” I assured him.
“Good to hear.”
“Sorry for …”
“Nothing to apologize for. What are you up to today?” he asked, squatting down to rub Rocket’s belly.
“I was going to head out and check on Daisy. Maybe feed her again,” I started.
“Sounds like a plan. Let me know when story time is. I need to know what happens next,” Cole teased with a wink.
“You think you’re so funny,” I deadpanned back at him.
“Oh, I am funny,” he confirmed.
I finished tying my laces and stood up. “Wanna walk me out to the barn?” I asked, batting my eyelids.
“Or … I could walk you back inside and do unspeakable things to you?” Cole suggested, raising his eyebrows.
I pretended to be shocked by his words. “Don’t you have farmer things to do?”
“I know a farmer you could do,” Cole countered as he stretched out his arm offering me his hand.
When my fingers laced with his I felt calmness wash over me. I was trying to figure out what this was and if there was any sort of future there, but as soon as the man touched me, my whole body became electrified.
“I’ve got something I want to show you,” Cole said excitedly as he led me around the house.
We stepped into the backyard, and I came to a screeching halt. At least the banging made sense now. Hunks of wood, tools, and wire were strewn about across the yard.
“What happened?” I asked, not sure what to make of it.
In front of me was some kind of frame but it didn’t make sense to me.
“I’m building a chicken coop,” Cole declared.
“What?” I screeched.
“Well, there was this really smart girl with a killer rack, and she put the idea in my head. Chickens. Fresh eggs. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made.”
“So what? This morning you woke up and decided to build a chicken coop?” I didn’t know what to say let alone think.
“Last night actually. While you were snoring …”
“I don’t snore,” I protested.
“Let’s pretend for a minute that I believe you. Anyway, while you were sleeping,” Cole tried again. “I sketched out some plans. I already had the lumber so I started this morning.”
“Cole …”
“We pick up the chickens in two days.”
“Two days! Will this even be finished in two days?”
“It will be if you help me with it,” Cole stated, bringing my knuckles to his mouth and kissing the back of my hand.
“Y-you want me to help you build a chicken coop?” I stammered still not believing any of this was real.
“Well, it’s going to be your chicken coop, so you might as well get your hands dirty.” Cole shrugged like it was nothing.
“You’re building me a chicken coop?”
I was trying not to hyperventilate. This man couldn’t be real. We barely knew each other and he was letting me name his cows and building me a chicken coop.
“We’re building us a chicken coop,” Cole corrected.
I couldn’t help myself. I leaped up toward him knowing he’d always catch me. With my legs wrapped around his waist and Cole’s hands on my ass, I kissed him with everything I had. He might not know it was my birthday, but somehow, he’d managed to make it my best in years.
When my phone chirped, it broke our moment, and Cole set me back on the ground.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and scrunched up my nose.
“Who is it?” Cole asked curiously as he led me past the half-constructed coop and toward the barn.
With a heavy sigh, I handed him my phone. “Ben.”
“What’s he want?” Cole didn’t even bother to hide the disdain in his voice.
“No idea. I didn’t read it.”
“Want me to?”
“If you want. Or you can just delete it. That’s what I’ve done with all the others.”
Cole went silent and stared at my phone.
For me it had been an easy decision. Hit delete and move on.
There was nothing Ben could say that I wanted to hear.
There’d been a point where I’d hung on his every word and believed every promise.
But that naive, awe-struck girl was gone now.
She’d been bruised and battered by the people he pretended to be protecting her from.
Now all that was left was me. Cynical, strong, me.
I’d just pushed through the gate out of the yard when Cole’s words froze me where I stood.
“He wants you to meet him for coffee,” Cole announced, his voice devoid of emotion.
“Well, that’s not happening.” I tried to brush it off as I kept walking, reminding myself that Daisy deserved the very best version of me. Not this distracted, ‘wonder what he could want’ version.
“I think you should reply,” Cole called out as he caught up to me in long strides.
“No,” I declared adamantly.
“I think you should. He‘ll keep going until you do.”
Cole had a point, but I didn’t want to hear it. Least of all today. “I’ll think about it,” I conceded, offering him a fake smile that I knew he wasn’t buying. “Hey there, pretty girl. How are you doing this morning?” I cooed as I unlatched the gate and moved into Daisy’s stall.
She rubbed her head on my leg, and I was surprised by how strong she was for someone so little. “You hungry, girl?” I asked as I patted her head only for her to reach out her tongue and lick me.
“Okay. Let me get you some breakfast then,” I told her as I slipped back out of the stall to find Cole still staring at my phone. “What?”
“It’s your birthday,” he declared, and my shoulders drooped.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to know, it was more that I didn’t want him to feel obliged. We were already moving at warp speed, him having to get me something or celebrate out of obligation wasn’t something I was interested in.
“Yeah. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? Grace, it’s your birthday.”
“Yeah. And I had one last year and I’ll have another next year. It doesn’t matter really.”
“Bullshit it doesn’t!”
“How’d you find out anyway?” I asked.
Cole held up my phone. Damn it. Ben had blindsided me again, and as soon as I saw his name, I’d handed it over without thinking. Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now.
“We don't have to make a big deal out of it,” I told him.
“Grace.”
“Honestly. I’d prefer not to. Turning thirty isn’t something I want to celebrate. I’d rather pretend it’s just another day of being twenty-nine,” I sighed as I focused on getting Daisy’s bottle sorted.