Chapter 25 Grace
Chapter twenty-five
Grace
The moment I sat on Mom’s bench, I felt the tears trickle down my face. I should’ve come here sooner, but in truth, I knew why I hadn’t. I’d been avoiding it. Not wanting to face it. This was Mom’s favorite spot and just being here brought back every emotion I thought I’d buried long ago.
I wiped away my tears and looked out across the creek.
The water was running fast for this time of year, bouncing off the rocks and leaving frothy water in its wake.
Along the edges of the creek, birds swam in the shallows as the grasses swayed.
It was so quiet and peaceful here that I remembered Mom’s words.
“I need time to think. Out here, there’s no noise to distract me from working through things,” she’d told me and she was right.
There were people crawling all over the B&B right now and I couldn’t hear any of them. Nothing but the squawk of the birds and the rush of the water.
“Mom, I wish you were here to tell me what to do,” I said out loud, wishing for an answer I knew wouldn’t come.
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back toward the sun, letting its rays warm me.
I’d just burned bridges I never thought I would, and strangely enough, I had no regret.
Not just burned them either. I’d set fire to them, added gasoline then danced in their ashes.
Had Ben not shown up here this afternoon, I’d still be holding on to all that anger, but now I’d let it loose I felt lighter.
I might still not be any closer to figuring out what comes next, but I knew I wasn’t going back.
When I’d told him that I realized it was what I wanted.
Or more importantly, what I didn’t want.
I had no interest in playing corporate games with people whose mission in life was to step on others.
It wasn’t who I was and definitely not someone I wanted to be.
“Your ten minutes is up,” a deep voice I recognized announced as a stick crunched under his boot.
“Guessing the girls told you about that,” I asked, turning to face Cole.
He looked worried. His brow was furrowed, his hands buried deep in his pockets, and unease written all over his handsome face.
“It was the only thing stopping me from rushing down here,” he admitted.
“Thank you,” I offered, stretching out my hand and inviting him to come and sit with me.
“What are you thanking me for?” he asked, confused, as he dropped down onto the bench beside me, his fingers laced with mine and his thigh pressed up against me.
“Giving me the time and space. I just needed a minute,” I confessed.
“You okay?”
Cole’s voice wavered and I saw how worried he was.
How it was even possible for this man to mean so much to me in such a short time, I’d never know, but I wasn’t about to question it.
Cole was the best man I’d ever met. He wore his heart on his sleeve, he was kind, compassionate, understanding, and even when he didn’t agree he gave me the space to figure it out for myself.
“I am now,” I assured him, resting my head on his shoulder.
For a few moments, we sat together in silence. I knew Cole had questions, if I was him I would, but I appreciated him letting me talk about it when I was ready.
From somewhere overhead a bird swooped down, landing on the creek with a flutter.
“I’m not going back,” I declared, sitting up, needing to gauge his reaction.
“Okay.”
“Ben offered me my job back. A different job, but I told him I’m not interested. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want that life,” I explained.
“Okay.”
“I’m not the same person I was when I came to Wattle Creek. I don’t know how, but I just feel different here. Almost like for the first time I can take off my mask, stop running, and just breathe. Just be who I am and people will accept me. Flaws and all.”
“Of course they will, Grace. People love you,” Cole assured, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and hugging me against him.
When he pressed his lips to my temple my insides squirmed. I knew I didn’t want to go back to the chaotic life the city offered, and I definitely wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Cole, but it wasn’t enough. I knew it wasn’t. I wanted more.
Cole mumbled something I didn’t quite catch.
“Pardon?”
“Nothing,” he murmured, unwinding himself from around me.
“No, Cole. Not nothing. You said something and I want to know what it was,” I told him.
Cole stood and walked to the edge of the creek. The man had an ass you could bounce quarters off.
“Doesn't matter,” he brushed off again.
Nope. This wasn’t about to happen. If we had any chance of turning whatever this was into something more, we had to be honest about it.
I walked over to him and stepped in front.
With my hands on his hips, I gazed up at him.
My heart already knew what my head wasn’t ready to admit.
Cole was it for me. He was fun, funny, hot, and he got me.
He didn’t judge and let me figure things out without pushing.
But it was more than that. It was the way he looked at me.
The man held my heart in the palm of his hand and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I’d found a safe pair of hands to hold it.
“Talk to me. What’s got you thinking so hard?” I pushed.
“You.” He shrugged, rubbing his hands up and down my arms.
I took a breath. “What’d I do?”
“Grace Louise Hamilton …”
“Uh oh. You full named me. This must be bad,” I joked, but Cole wasn’t laughing.
“You upended my life. I was content with the way things were, then you tripped into my life in your denim cutoffs and that sweet smile and changed everything,” Cole started, and part of me felt like I should apologize.
“Now I’m raising a poddy calf called Daisy and building a chicken coop.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I look forward to coming home each night knowing you’re there.
I get excited about sitting on my porch each evening talking to you about your day.
Grace, you changed my everything,” Cole admitted, pulling me in for a hug and crushing me against him.
When he released me, I cupped his stubbled jaw with my hand.
“You’re not the only one who’s different.
When I drove back into Wattle Creek I felt like a failure.
Like everything I’d worked for, everything I was, wasn’t enough.
Like I wasn’t enough. Then you picked me up and showed me who I really was.
You showed me that being that girl, the one who reads to cows and spends all night researching chickens, was a part of who I was, and it was okay.
I didn’t need the fancy job or the tight skirt … ”
“You can keep the tight skirt,” Cole interjected, and I slapped his arm. Both of us were smiling hard.
“Cole, not once have you made me feel like less.”
“You’re perfect, Grace,” he announced, and I almost believed him.
“I’m not, but you know what I’ve learned?”
“What’s that?”
“That being perfect isn’t something I want to be. I want to be me.”
“I want you to be you, Grace.”
“And I believe you, Cole. I really do,” I assured him.
“Good. Cause I mean it. And there’s something else I want,” Cole declared.
“What’s that?” I asked, my voice wavering as fear seeped in.
Cole took my hands in his and my breath hitched. I think if he dropped to one knee right now, I’d probably have a heart attack. I might know Cole was the man of my dreams, but it was way too soon for anything like that.
Cole bent his knees, stooping to my height. With his gaze holding mine captive, he spoke. “I want you to stay.” His words were clear. Deliberate. Concise.
I didn't know how to answer him. I wanted to stay, that much was a no-brainer, but it wasn’t that easy.
I was too stubborn. Too independent. I couldn’t just stay cooped up on his ranch all day.
There had to be something more. I refused to be one of those women whose whole life revolved around the man warming their bed.
I put my hands on his. “It’s not that simple, Cole. I can’t just stay tied to your headboard all day. I need to work …”
Cole grinned a mischievous grin. “Now there’s an image I won’t be able to get out of my head anytime soon.”
I rolled my eyes. “Typical.”
“Us either,” Georgia interjected, stealing my attention and reminding me that we weren’t alone.
“But we might have a solution,” Gabriella offered as she sat down on Mom’s bench, running her fingers over the worn wood.