Chapter 13 - Donna
We almost lost Nicholas.
I almost lost him.
Perhaps that’s why this kiss is so intense, unlocking feelings and sensations I thought I’d buried. But this is even stronger than anything I’ve felt before. Heat rises in my body, about to explode, and I figure it’s because of all the pent-up desire.
Because as much as I hate him, my body burns for him, my soul aches for this union, and I’ll go crazy if I don’t give in.
Perhaps I’m still riding the adrenaline from yesterday, but it’s hot and fluid in my veins, sparking flames in every nerve fiber I possess, turning me into nothing but a wanton mess in his arms.
I should have known that marrying him would lead me here, or maybe, despite all my resistance and reservations, I agreed to my brother’s plea simply because I wanted this to happen.
Now that it’s happening, now that Nicholas’s tongue is down my throat, his heavy, guttural groan vibrating into my mouth as he cups my ass cheeks and lifts me onto the counter beside the sink, I realize how much I wanted this…how much I needed this.
Nicholas doesn’t stop kissing me, hungrily devouring my tongue as he continues with rough, possessive caresses that fire up the arousal between my thighs.
My legs blossom apart so he’s standing between them, hitching up the hem of my oversized T-shirt until we have to break the kiss so it can be taken over my head.
My breath catches when I meet dark, heady eyes that are usually soft green and welcoming, with just a tinge of mischief sparkling there, raw lust written on his face like an open book with parted, plump lips.
Instinctively lifting my hand to his face, I run the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip, noticing the way his eyes turn slightly soft with quiet yearning, and my heart skips a beat.
I remember a time—a few times, actually—when Nicholas and I were on the verge of going all the way, but I’d stop him, and he would respect my wishes.
Right now, with my body aching, pining for him in every possible way, I don’t want us to stop. The small moment of pause only allows me to gaze deeply into his eyes to find the one thing I’m sure of.
Nicholas Bartalow is my fated mate. My body’s response to him attests to that one simple fact, my back already arching to push my chest forward impatiently.
“We don’t have to—” he begins, but I cut him off by sliding my thumb across both lips, applying warning pressure that silences him.
“I want to,” I drawl, breath hot and husky as my voice leaves my lips. Nicholas doesn’t take his eyes off mine, breathing against my finger with quiet calculation, gauging the sincerity in my eyes.
He draws my hand away slowly, his back straightening as he towers over me now.
“There’s no going back after this.” It’s a warning, one last chance to change my mind before making the leap that will change everything.
My body is too awakened to go back now, and that’s why I reach out and slide my fingers to the back of his head, drawing him down and in for a kiss that solidifies my consent.
“I know what I’m getting myself into. I’ve always known, and that’s why I waited,” I admit when I’ve broken the kiss, and a frown flits past Nicholas’s face with realization.
He doesn’t need to say a word for me to know what he’s thinking—the disbelief is written all over his face as a shift takes place, and instead of meeting my lips again, Nicholas picks me up off the counter.
He doesn’t stop staring into my soul even as he carries me down the hallway, our souls communicating a language our lips and minds don’t speak.
He’s mulling over something I said—the part about waiting. He knows I’m still a virgin, as I was last summer, because I could never imagine myself opening up to another man.
From the moment I met him, I felt my body responding to his touch, even if he only shook my hand. It hasn’t changed, and when his lips meet mine like a lullaby that soothes me while he lays me on the bed with gentle strength, it’s not just my body that reacts, but my heart, too.
Our next movements are unrushed but fluid as we work in tandem, following a soft rhythm of primal desire to remove our clothes between kisses until we’re both naked, our bodies bathed in the warm, ambient yellow light from the lamp on his nightstand.
Nicholas doesn’t remove his eyes from mine as he settles beside me, one hand resting on my hip as he gently draws me to face him.
Our lips meet again, slowly at first until his hand slides to the apex of my thighs, and my breath hitches in my throat.
Nicholas breaks the kiss to stare into my eyes with orbs glossed over with unfiltered lust, dark and comprising all the feelings hanging on the tip of his tongue—feelings that pulse through my heart because of the mate bond.
Like an invisible thread ties our souls together, our bodies follow when his fingers find my slick-coated folds. I instantly react, squirming and moaning and letting the final restraints slip away.
“Oh, my Goddess…oh, Nick…” I pray through moans as his skillful fingers do magical things to my bundle of nerves, things that send heat and sensation through my body, leaving me stimulated, tingling, and wanting more.
I want everything.
I throw my head back against the pillows when a single finger slides between my folds, searching for my aching hole while the apple of his palm rubs a loose circle on my clit. But once his finger slides into my core, he applies enough pressure to send me over the edge of my existence.
My arms come flying up to grab his shoulders, nails biting into the taut flesh cloaking his muscles. Our eyes meet when I draw my head back up, and his bottom lip hangs heavy, plump, and tempting.
I feel like I’m going to explode, so I crush my lips to his, desperately needing to cling to his breath as the ministrations of his fingers bring me closer to the edge of climax.
When it’s about to come, the knot that pulls tight in the pit of my belly jostles my body in a way that has me curling toward him, my leg draping over his hip as his hand continues delivering pleasure to my core.
“Nick…Nick!” My moan turns to a scream when I can’t take it any longer, and I brace my palms on his shoulders as one hand keeps me secured to his chest
“Yeah…that’s it, sweetheart…” Nicholas encourages, deepening the thrust of his finger before he curls the digit, tapping on my G-spot with precision because he knows exactly where to find it.
A cocksure smirk curls his lips as he continues, studying me with intent as if he’s etching my reaction to memory. I can see myself reflected in his eyes; the way my hair is tousled, eyes disoriented, lips tugged in a way that tries to stifle my scream.
And there’s one thing that strikes me: I’ve never looked prettier than when I’m a mess, riding Nicholas’s finger.
My orgasm crashes into me like a wave from a tsunami, my vision blurring with stars sparkling behind my eyelids as he moves me around.
My body is too tingly to care where I am, how I’m being molded to his will, but as the wave of my high steadies and I open my eyes, I find myself above him, knees propped on a pillow, thighs splayed out, his face between them.
I gasp when I meet his eyes with their mischievous glint, his hands sliding up my torso and cupping my breasts.
“Gorgeous…” he murmurs, voice husky and vibrating against my pelvis. My body shudders, and that’s the moment Nicholas parts his lips and latches his mouth on my core.
“Oh, fuck!” I cry out in ecstatic pleasure, grabbing the ivory headboard in front of me, bracing myself there as Nicholas sucks on my clit.
He flicks the tip of his tongue on the swollen nub, licking and ravaging my core like it’s his precious sustenance.
I’m feeling it again—I’m on the verge of climax—and all it takes is him sticking his tongue through my aching hole, my desperate walls clenching for need of friction, and that’s when I explode.
I’m floating somewhere far away, on some cloud where our souls waltz to the rhythm of a frequency that cannot be heard, only felt. I feel my lips lift in a feeble smile, and I’m being moved again, but it doesn’t even matter where or how.
His lips are on mine like a kiss of life, and I open my eyes to find him settled between my thighs, bracing his weight off me by leaning to the side on one elbow. He pulls back and gazes into my eyes deeply—soft despite the undeniable hunger making his eyes dark.
“Still sure?” he asks gently, and it’s much to my surprise. Looking into his eyes, I find the man I fell in love with last summer, and my heart squeezes in my chest, because I thought I’d never meet him again.
Was he always there? Could I not see it because my vision was clouded by the pain of rejection?
Maybe I’ve been wrong about him all this time…
All I can manage is a timid nod, not wanting to be swept out of this moment, my flustered cheeks getting hot as he adjusts himself and takes hold of his cock with the stroke of one hand.
He positions the tip at my entrance, and I hold my breath as he meets my eyes again, placing his free hand on my cheek.
“It might hurt a little, but I promise to be gentle,” he assures me, and I nod timidly again. “Stop me if it hurts too much.”
“Yes…” I breathe, and that’s when Nicholas enters me slowly, sliding and pausing to ensure I’m comfortable.
My core blossoms for his cock, my walls spreading around the shaft until he’s buried deep inside. I let out the breath I’d been holding, and a moan escapes my lips.
Nicholas leans in and drinks that moan while he slowly thrusts back and forth, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist as my arms wind around his neck.
“You good?” he asks gently when he breaks the kiss, forehead pressed to mine as he stares deeply into my eyes.
My fervent nod and his name falling from my lips like a plea is what speaks to him, and soon, he picks up the pace until he’s pounding into me.
My breasts slap against his chest while he fucks me, and I’m hanging on for dear life as he thrusts. My moans and cries of pleasure mingle with the rough, rugged sounds of his breathing and grunts until he whispers in my ear that he's about to come.
I hang on tighter, pleasure erupting from my core and spreading through me like a wild, uncontrollable fire. Nicholas's arms are under me then, holding me close to his chest as we reach climax together.
After what feels like a blissful lifetime, I begin crawling out from the high, realizing Nicholas is lying on my chest, his body pinning me to the mattress. Skin to skin and covered in sweat, Nicholas turns his face inward and whispers in my ear, “That was better than my dreams…”
While my heart flutters, Nicholas lazily moves and scoops me into his side, cuddling me against his chest as a soft sigh of exhaustion falls from his lips at the back of my head.
I'm just about to close my eyes and bask in the tenderness of this moment—one I had dreamed about for a long time—when it hits me. The last time I felt this way, I was so close to losing myself in Nicholas, until he pulled the rug out from under me.
And now I’ve gone all the way with him, and there’s no going back.
I just lost my virginity to the one man whose eyes I swore I'd never meet again.
My archnemesis…
I lost myself in a moment of vulnerability, but that's something I can't afford to do again. I can't risk my heart breaking when I'm meant to be stronger. I'm meant to face being a witch, meant to face Tobias turning out to be a deceptive wolf working for a collective enemy.
If I let myself be swept away by Nicholas's effortless charm, I know I'll regret it later.
The silence is filled only with the gentle lull of his slow breaths, and I turn, cautiously, only to find that he's fallen asleep.
Carefully slipping out from under his arm, I slide off the bed and glance back at him once, biting my bottom lip.
Yes, I’m running away right now, doing exactly what I accused him of, but it’s the only way.
It’s the only way I can keep myself safe, because I’m afraid.
I am afraid of what happens when I lose control, because it entails getting my heart broken all over again. I can’t survive that a second time. My heart won’t bear it, and I’ll just wither and die if I’m not careful enough.
Burying my feelings, I cling once again to the resentment I had when he rejected me, even in the aftermath of losing my virginity to him.
It's easier this way, for the sake of my sanity.
Nicholas Bartalow is not good for me.