Chapter 18 - Nicholas #2
As my eyes gloss over with tears, I stare at my linked hands, watching the way I fidget my fingers. Donna lets out a slow, drawn-out breath, then whispers, “I need to know why you rejected me. I need to understand it.”
I nod slowly, too ashamed to lift my head even now.
I swallow the lump in my throat and respond to her question as honestly as I can.
“I rejected you because I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, and neither were you.
I wasn’t the alpha yet, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to protect you.
I had a lot going on, but so did you. I was afraid of you losing your autonomy if I turned your life upside down with a mate bond.
You’re the smartest woman I know, with a bright future ahead of you. I didn’t want to ruin that.”
Donna nods slowly, thoughtfully, and I finally look up to face her. She meets my eyes with a steady, controlled gaze, then asks, “Why were you afraid that you wouldn’t be able to protect me?”
The question lands deep because it’s the main reason I rejected her back then, while simultaneously being the reason I swooped in and married her on a whim when Tobias emerged as a threat.
“Because I’ve seen the shit out there, Donna.
I’ve experienced it while I was in black ops, and I was fresh from it last summer.
I thought it would be better to let you go.
I mean…what if I accepted the mate bond and failed you?
You’re my best friend’s little sister. Dom would kill me if I couldn’t protect you. ”
Donna purses her lips, her eyes searching my face, and I can’t hide anymore—not when she seems to read me like an open book.
“That makes sense,” she finally says. “You never spoke about what you saw out there, what you experienced, but I’m guessing it was pretty dark,” she continues, observing the situation in a way that sounds detached, professional.
She is, after all, a qualified psychologist. Another reason to be in awe of her.
“So what made you want to marry me if that’s the thing you were avoiding?” she continues. “If what you went through out there scared you, and led you to reject me last summer, why did you change your mind?”
I shrug. “I guess it was an impulsive thing—a decision made by my inner wolf. Seeing you with Tobias…it fucked me up, okay? And I’m glad it did.
I’m glad I came to your tent that night, contemplating whether I should give you your graduation gift or not.
Then I saw him act strangely, and I followed him.
I’m glad I did that, too. That’s when I knew you were in danger, and I had to do something. ”
Donna’s eyes soften, no longer the professional but just the she-wolf who had been hurt by her mate. “Do you regret it? Following your inner wolf’s impulses?”
“Regret it?” I scoff. “No. Never. You have no idea what you do to me, Donna. I know. I’ve always known that we were fated mates. I’ve just been a coward about it all this time.”
“And you’re not here because you want to convince me to have your children?” she asks with a lighthearted chuckle.
“No,” I respond earnestly, pinching the skin on my throat.
“I swear I’m not. My father has always been a tyrant, and his demands now are no different than what I’ve grown up with.
I’m only here to apologize for hurting you, and promise that I will do everything in my power to protect you and protect your heart.
I don’t deserve you, but I’m gonna do everything I can to earn a place in your life.
I am sorry, Donna. I was foolish back then, and it won’t happen again, I swear. ”
Donna stares into my eyes for a long moment, searching them for even a flicker of doubt, but she finds none. She nods once, then takes a deep breath.
“I forgive you, Nicholas. I do. But I’m gonna need time.”
I nod gently. “I will give you all the time you need. Thank you for your forgiveness.”
Donna smiles wistfully, holding out her hand. “You can thank me by helping me up,” she says, a hint of amusement in her voice.
Eagerly complying, I hop to my feet on the side of the rock, then reach for her outstretched hand. The second we touch, my inner wolf is awakened by the warm pulses of awareness rushing through my veins.
I pull Donna up, and she stares at my face thoughtfully. “You feel that too?”
“Every damn time…” I murmur, my voice bordering on a low growl. “It’s why I ran. It’s so intense.”
Donna doesn’t remove her hand from mine, and she bats her eyelids at me in a suggestive, soft manner. “Then stop running,” she whispers, her lips parting on her next exhale.
Her mere breath—sweet and seductive in its naturalness—draws me in, my head dipping as my chest pounds with the intoxicating dopamine that hits me like a high even before our lips have met.
It’s a rush of anticipation, the thrill of what’s to come, and like a starved man, I’m about to crush my lips to hers and devour her essence like it’s my sustenance.
She doesn’t pull away or resist, and it lets me know that she wants this kiss as much as I do. But just when I’m about an inch away from conquering her lips, Evan’s voice enters my mind.
I groan at the rude interruption, and Donna giggles nervously.
“Alpha Dominic is here, Alpha Nicholas. It sounds urgent.”
“I’m coming,” I respond mentally, then wince apologetically to Donna.
But she’s stopped giggling.
“It’s my brother, isn’t it? I can sense his presence, and his urgency…” she laments, her expression hardening.
“It must be important,” I say, helping her step off the rock. “Let’s go back.”