Chapter 25 Lina
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Lina
Day six in Ravenshollow, and despite my very clear demands that Knox stay away, the man had apparently decided that “stay away” meant “court me like we’re in some regency romance novel.”
Fresh coffee appeared in Noah’s kitchen this morning with my name written in careful script on the cup.
Not just any coffee either, but my exact order from back home, which meant he’d either gotten incredibly lucky or he remembered every single word I’d said five years ago.
And not even to him, which also meant he’d been eavesdropping on my conversations with other people back then.
The elaborate breakfasts he dropped off “for the kids” always happened to include chocolate chip pancakes (my weakness) or those fancy pastries I’d mentioned liking once in passing.
He visited daily to teach the twins control exercises, always bringing wildflowers they’d “helped pick” that coincidentally matched whatever I was wearing that day.
The man was shameless, and the worst part was how it was working.
Each thoughtful gesture chipped away at my carefully constructed walls, reminding me of the man I’d fallen for before he’d revealed his true nature.
I maintained a cold distance because what else could I do?
But god, it was exhausting. Every interaction required military-level strategic planning to keep my face neutral, my voice flat, my body language closed off.
All while my traitorous heart did little flips whenever he walked through the door.
The truth I’d been avoiding hit me after Mary’s visit. When she’d talked about their date, about him being eager and energetic with her, I’d felt raw, burning jealousy that made me want to claw her eyes out for reasons that had nothing to do with her calling my kids names.
Which meant I wasn’t over him. Not even close. Five years, two kids, and a broken heart later, I was still pathetically hung up on Knox Raven.
Being near him was torture. Every time he looked at me with those gray eyes full of regret and longing, every time he spoke to our children with infinite patience and gentleness, every time he existed in my space smelling woodsy and perfect, I wanted to scream. Or kiss him. Or both.
Tonight’s torture session involved teaching the twins enhanced hearing control in Noah’s living room. I sat on the worn carpet, pretending to read while actually watching Knox work with our children. He knelt between them, voice soft and encouraging.
“Focus on my heartbeat,” he instructed gently, placing Rowan’s small hand on his chest. “Feel the rhythm first, then listen for it. Now push everything else away until that’s all you hear.”
“I hear it!” Thea exclaimed, bouncing slightly. “Boom-boom, boom-boom!”
“Good job, little wolf. Now Rowan, you try.”
My son’s face scrunched in concentration, and I had to bite back a smile at how much he looked like Knox when he was thinking hard. “It’s fast,” Rowan observed. “Why is your heart fast?”
Knox’s eyes flicked to me for just a second. “No reason. Hearts just do that sometimes.”
Liar. I could feel the tension radiating off him from across the room. The bond he’d forced on me meant I could sense his emotions whether I wanted to or not, and right now he was nervous. Good.
“Can we play sardines?” Thea bounced up, apparently done with hearing exercises. “Please please please?”
Noah grinned from his spot on the couch where he’d been working on his laptop. “I haven’t played that in years. I’m in.”
“What’s sardines?” I asked suspiciously. Any game that made Knox’s eyes light up couldn’t be good for my sanity.
“It’s the best game ever!” Thea explained with enthusiasm. “One person hides and everyone seeks and when you find them you hide with them until everyone’s squeezed in together!”
“Like sardines in a can!” Rowan added, clearly excited by the prospect.
“It’s like reverse hide and seek,” Knox explained, and damn him for using his gentle dad voice that made my ovaries want to explode. “One person hides, everyone else counts, then they search. When you find the hider, you squeeze in with them quietly. Last person to find everyone loses.”
“Please, Mama?” Both twins turned their puppy eyes on me, and I was doomed.
“Fine,” I sighed. “But no using enhanced senses. That’s cheating.”
“Deal!” They high-fived each other, then started arguing about who would hide first.
Noah produced a deck of cards from somewhere, and we each drew. I got the ace of spades, making me the first hider. Perfect. At least I’d get a few minutes away from Knox’s presence to regather my defenses.
“Count to one hundred,” I instructed, already scanning the house for hiding spots. “And no peeking!”
They covered their eyes dutifully, starting their count. I crept through the house, evaluating options. Behind the couch? Too obvious. Under the dining table? Too exposed. The basement door caught my eye, and I slipped down the stairs into the cooler darkness below.
The basement was filled with storage and old furniture.
I spotted a closet tucked into the corner, partially hidden by storage shelves.
Perfect. I slipped inside, pulling the door almost closed behind me.
The space was cramped with just me in it, sporting equipment and boxes taking up most of the room.
I wedged myself toward the back, settling in behind some hanging coats.
“Good luck finding me in here,” I whispered to myself, settling in for what I hoped would be a long wait.
Five minutes later, the closet door opened. Knox’s ability to find me was getting annoying.
He grinned at me in the darkness. “Found you.”
“Fantastic. Now go hide somewhere else.”
“That’s not how the game works.” He squeezed into the already cramped closet, forcing me to press harder against the back wall. The space that had been tight with just me became impossibly small with him in it too. “You find the hider, you hide with them. Those are the rules.”
“Did you cheat? Use your wolf senses?”
“I played fair. You just hide in predictable places.”
His body heat filled the small space immediately, making me hyperaware of every inch between us. Which wasn’t many. We were pressed together from shoulder to hip, his knee brushing mine, no way to maintain distance in the tiny closet.
We sat in tense silence, listening to footsteps above us. Noah, by the sound of it, still searching upstairs. Knox shifted to avoid hitting the door with his knee, pressing closer in the process.
“You’re crowding me,” I whispered.
“Sorry.” But he didn’t sound sorry at all. The bastard was enjoying this.
In the darkness, I could feel him looking at me. Feel the weight of his gaze even though I could barely make out his features. The bond hummed between us, that strange connection he’d created when he bit me. It was like touching a live wire, feeling his emotions bleeding into mine.
“You know what kills me?” His voice was barely audible, meant only for me. “I can feel how much you hate me through the bond. Every spike of anger, every moment of disgust. But I can also feel how much you want me. It’s driving us both insane.”
“Don’t-” I started, but he kept going.
“When I left that morning, it took everything I had. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay, to wake you up, to beg you to let me explain what we were.”
“Knox-” I tried again, but the words kept coming, soft and broken in the darkness.
“People around me get hurt. I lost one of the most important people in my life and it was my fault. Others in the pack... I’ve brought nothing but pain.
I thought - I thought I was protecting you by leaving, but all I did was hurt you worse.
And I’ve never stopped thinking about you, not for a single day. ”
His voice cracked slightly, and the bond flared with emotion.
It was like that first night we’d touched, when everything had felt electric and inevitable, but now amplified.
I could feel his pain, his regret, the self-hatred that ate at him.
It was overwhelming, making my own emotions tangle with his until I couldn’t separate them.
“During the day I replay every moment we shared,” he continued.
“The way you laughed at my terrible jokes. How you fit perfectly against me. The sounds you made when I-” He cut himself off, taking a shaky breath.
“And at night I dream the sweetest dreams where I never left, where I got to watch our kids grow, where I wake up next to you every morning and make you coffee and raise our babies together.”
“Stop,” I whispered, but it came out weak.
“I was stupid and scared and I hate myself for letting my darkest thoughts win.”
The confession hung between us in the darkness, painful. Through the bond, I could feel the truth of it, years of regret and self-recrimination flooding through our connection. My carefully maintained anger began to crack, letting in things I didn’t want to feel.
“Knox,” I breathed, not sure if it was a warning or plea.
In the darkness, his hand found my face with devastating gentleness. His thumb brushed across my cheek, and I realized I was crying. When had that started?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and his lips were so close I could feel the words. “I’m so fucking sorry, Lina. I fucked up. You’re everything to me. You always have been. There’s never been anyone else, never will be.”
I should have pushed him away. Should have maintained my distance and protected what was left of my heart. Instead, I was pulling him closer, fisting my hands in his shirt like he might disappear again.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me,” he whispered against my mouth. “Our pups, you… You’re my entire world.”
His forehead touched mine in the darkness, and I could feel how hard he was shaking, his breath ghosting over my lips. “Tell me to stop.”
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. My body betrayed me without hesitation, leaning into him, chasing the heat, the ache, the him of it all. I should’ve pulled away, remembered everything he’d done. But his mouth brushed mine, just barely, and I let him take it. Let him take me.
The kiss started soft, apologetic, almost hesitant. His lips moved against mine with aching tenderness, one hand cradling my face while the other gripped my hip. Then years of suppressed want crashed over us both and gentle went out the window.
I nipped at his bottom lip and he groaned, the sound vibrating through my chest. His tongue swept into my mouth, relearning my taste while I reacquainted myself with his, staking my claim with every stroke.
He kissed like he’d never stopped wanting me.
Like years had done nothing to dull the obsession.
His hands slid under my shirt, rough palms dragging across my ribs, over my back, everywhere.
My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, needing more.
The bond sang between us, amplifying every sensation until I felt drunk on him.
I didn’t even remember moving, but suddenly I was straddling him on the closet floor, knees pressed into discarded gym gear and old cleats, and I didn’t give a single fuck.
All I cared about was the thick, hard length of his cock pressing up against me through his jeans, so big it made me grind down without thinking, chasing the friction like I was starving for it.
He cursed low and dark, grabbing my hips, guiding the roll of my body over him. “Fuck, Lina… You’re killing me. I’ve been hard for you for years.”
He was panting now, mouth dragging along my neck, biting at the skin under my ear. “I missed you so much. I missed this, us. This pussy. I missed how fucking soaked you get just grinding on me.”
I gasped, rocked harder.
The bulge in his jeans dragged against the thin cotton of my panties, and I felt everything. How swollen he was. How wet I was. How easy it would be to unbutton, slide him out, and just… take him.
His hand fisted in my hair, tugging my head back so he could suck at my neck, open-mouthed, possessive. “God, you still taste the same. Still do the same sounds that haunt me in my dreams. You want me, don’t you? Please tell me you do.”
I moaned and rutted down against him instead, shameless now, humping the thick ridge of him like I was trying to come just from that. My panties were soaked. My clit throbbed. My thighs were shaking from how bad I needed him.
His hand slid up the back of my shirt, gripping my spine like he could hold me there, like letting go would ruin him.
“I should’ve never let you go,” he breathed, voice cracking. “I should’ve fought for you. For this.”
And for a moment, I believed him. My whole body believed him. The way he touched me, kissed me, fucked his clothed cock against my soaked panties like he was seconds from breaking the zipper…He meant it.
But reality crashed back in brutal waves. What was I doing? This was the man who’d left me pregnant and alone. Who’d called me a warm hole. Who’d been on a date with another woman just a few nights ago.
“No.” I scrambled off him, shoving open the closet door. “This doesn’t change anything. One kiss doesn’t erase years. And one fuck won’t make me forget what you did.”
I stumbled out of the closet, my lips swollen, body aching for things I couldn’t have. Knox remained in the darkness, breathing hard, giving me space I desperately needed.
“Found you!” Thea’s delighted voice came from the basement stairs. She bounded down the last few steps, Noah and Rowan behind her. “Mama! Why are you all red?”
I ran a hand through my messed-up hair, trying to look normal. “Just hot in the closet, baby.”
Noah raised an eyebrow as Knox emerged from the closet looking thoroughly disheveled. “Must have been really cramped in there,” he said with false innocence.
“I need air,” I announced, already heading for the stairs. “Keep playing without me.”
I fled like the coward I was, Knox’s taste still on my lips and the memory of his hands branded on my skin. Behind me, I heard Thea asking if she could hide next, heard Noah distracting them with enthusiasm I didn’t deserve.
But I couldn’t go back to pretend that kiss hadn’t just destroyed five years of carefully built walls in three minutes.
I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t wanted it to.
But what I could do, though, was not give in first, and make him fucking work hard for it.
I would give in, but only when he begged me for it.