Chapter 12
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Lina
All the crying had left me completely drained.
After I received Knox’s message saying he was five minutes away, the tension that had been holding me together finally started to ease. My shoulders dropped. My breathing slowed. My eyes started to close against my will, the exhaustion of the past several hours catching up with me all at once.
Noah, bless his charming soul, noticed my state and disappeared down the hallway. A few minutes later he returned with a young nurse trailing behind him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes slightly dazed in that way women tended to look after being on the receiving end of Noah’s full attention.
“There’s a room down the hall that’s under renovation,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “No patients in there right now. She can rest for a bit if she needs to.”
I was too tired to ask what exactly Noah had said to convince her.
Too tired to do anything except let him guide me down the hallway and into a small room with bare walls and plastic sheeting covering some of the furniture.
The bed was made up though, clean sheets and a pillow that looked soft enough to pass out on.
Which is exactly what I did.
I crashed onto the mattress and was asleep before my head fully settled. I didn’t dream. Didn’t think. Just fell into the kind of deep, dreamless unconsciousness that only comes from complete physical and emotional exhaustion.
I didn’t know how much time passed before I started to wake up. It could have been minutes or hours. But as consciousness slowly returned, I became aware of several things at once.
I was warm, warmer than I should have been in a hospital room with thin blankets. And there was a sense of peace settling over me, the panic and fear and grief that had been consuming me earlier faded to a dull ache in the background.
It took me a second to realize why.
Knox was sitting next to my bed, one hand wrapped around mine, his thumb tracing gentle circles on my skin.
The bond between us was wide open, something it hadn’t been since our fight, and he was pushing nothing but warmth and comfort and love through the connection.
No words. Just feelings. Just him letting me know he was there, that I wasn’t alone, that everything was going to be okay.
My heart warmed at that. Even after everything, even with all the anger and hurt that still lingered between us, he was here. He was trying.
“You’re here,” I mumbled, my voice thick with sleep.
He was staring at me with an intensity that made my stomach flip. Those gray eyes holding so much emotion I couldn’t begin to untangle it all.
“I am,” he said softly.
I shifted on the bed, trying to sit up slightly. Knox immediately reached out to help, adjusting pillows behind my back and making sure I was comfortable before settling back into his chair.
“Noah told me what happened,” he continued. “I’m so sorry about Mika, baby. She’s still asleep, but the doctors say she’s doing well. Stable. Just needs time to recover.”
“And the others?”
“Vivi went home after a long debate with Noah about it. He practically had to carry her to the car. She didn’t want to leave, but she was falling asleep on her feet and Noah convinced her that Mika would need her more when she woke up than while she was unconscious.
” He paused. “Sarah is down the hall, chatting with the nurses. Keeping herself entertained. I think she’s already befriended half the hospital staff. ”
That sounded like Sarah. The woman could make friends anywhere.
Knox’s expression shifted, guilt creeping into his features.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t drive you here,” he said quietly.
“I was being a dumbass and had one glass of whisky and Noah was right to stop me from getting behind the wheel, but I should have been there. I should have been the one bringing you here, not sitting at home feeling sorry for myself while you dealt with all of this.”
I sighed, the sound coming out more tired than angry. “It’s okay. Noah was there. He took care of me.”
“He said you were incredible. You always are.” He squeezed my hand. “But whenever you feel like you’re tired, I’ll be strong for both of us.”
“That helps,” I whispered.
We sat in silence for a moment, the beeping of machines from somewhere down the hall the only sound. I stared at our joined hands, his large fingers wrapped around mine, and tried to sort through the mess of emotions tangled in my chest.
“I want us to be like we were, Knox,” I finally whispered. “I want to be able to fully, blindly trust you. The way I did before. The way I should be able to trust my mate.”
One tear slipped from my eye before I could stop it. Knox reached up and brushed it away with his thumb, his touch impossibly gentle.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m worthy of that trust, Lina,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.
“Ask me anything. Anything you want to know. I’ll answer honestly, no matter what.
I’ll even tell you the most embarrassing things about myself that I absolutely do not want you to know, just to prove I’m willing to tell you everything. ”
I could feel his desperation through the bond. His genuine desire to make this right. His fear that he’d broken something between us that couldn’t be fixed.
A flicker of amusement cut through my sadness. “And what are those embarrassing things you don’t want to tell me?”
Knox’s face went red. This was going to be good.
He cleared his throat. “Well. There’s the fact that I carry pieces of your clothing in my pockets everywhere I go. So I’m never without your scent. Even when you’re not with me.”
I blinked. “That’s why my clothes kept going missing! I thought I was losing my mind. I’d put a shirt in the laundry and it would just vanish.”
“I may have... liberated a few items over the past year.”
“A few?”
“Several.”
“Knox!”
“I’m not done.” He swallowed hard, clearly struggling to continue. “There’s also the fact that when you argue with me and win, which is often, I get so turned on I have to excuse myself to take a shower. But it’s not really a shower. It’s just an excuse so I can...”
He trailed off, but I knew exactly what he meant. And I couldn’t help it. A full smile spread across my face.
“I know,” I said.
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“I know about your showers. I’ve heard you.”
“You’ve... heard me?”
“The bathroom isn’t soundproof, Knox. And you’re not exactly quiet.” I tilted my head, enjoying the way his face went even redder. “You thought I liked to argue with you just because I’m difficult?”
His mouth opened and closed several times, no sound coming out. Finally he managed, “You were doing that on purpose?”
I smiled wickedly and winked at him. “Just because I feel like shit ninety-nine percent of the time doesn’t mean I’m a nun. I still like it when you get hard for me.”
Something shifted in his expression. The embarrassment faded, replaced by heat. He leaned closer, close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin, and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.
“I’m never not hard for you, love,” he murmured against my skin.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Even now?”
He pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes. Then, slowly, deliberately, he took my hand and guided it down to his crotch.
We stared at each other as my palm made contact. And he was... well. Hard as steel. Straining against his pants with an urgency that made my breath catch.
A rush of warmth washed over me. “Oh,” I whispered.
I stroked him through the fabric, watching his jaw clench, watching his eyes go dark with want. He bit his lip, trying to stay quiet, but a low groan escaped anyway.
“Lina...” His voice came out raspy, strained.
“Kiss me,” I ordered.
He didn’t hesitate. His mouth was on mine in an instant, desperate and hungry and full of everything he couldn’t put into words. I kissed him back with equal intensity, pouring all my frustration and hurt and love into the press of our lips.
One of his hands slid down my body, finding the space between my thighs. He stroked me through my clothes and I moaned into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his kiss. My own hand kept moving against him, feeling him pulse and twitch under my palm.
It didn’t take long. We were both too wound up, too desperate for connection after days of distance and hurt. I came first, gasping against his lips, my whole body shuddering with release. He followed seconds later, groaning my name as he spilled into his pants.
We stayed there for a moment, foreheads pressed together, breathing hard.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too.” I pulled back and hugged him tightly, burying my face in his neck. “Please don’t do stupid shit again or I’ll be forced to fill all of your underwear with itching powder.”
He laughed, the sound vibrating through his chest. “You’d put your favorite part of my body in danger?”
Shit. He had a point there.
“All of your body is my favorite part,” I admitted. “You’re right, though. Maybe I’ll just torture you psychologically instead.”
He snorted. “You can’t torture me psychologically. I’m a strong man. I can resist anything you throw at me.”
“I’ll stop talking to you. See how you can resist that.”
The smugness drained from his face immediately. “Please no.”
I smiled. He smiled back. The tension that had been between us for days finally started to dissolve, not completely gone but fading. Becoming manageable.
He hugged me again and we stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. Breathing each other in. Remembering why we’d chosen this, chosen each other, despite all the complications and challenges that came with it.
A knock on the door interrupted the moment.
“The police are here,” Noah called through the wood. “They have news.”
I pulled back from Knox, suddenly aware of what we’d just done and how obvious it probably was. My cheeks flushed. Knox helped me stand, his hands steady on my waist as I found my balance.