Chapter 18 Lina
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Lina
“Do you... um... do you want to shower?”
Knox asked the question with his eyes fixed on the wall, a faint flush creeping up his neck. This massive, muscular man who had commanded an entire room full of people was embarrassed about asking me if I wanted to bathe.
It was oddly endearing.
“Yes,” I said immediately, because the thought of washing off an entire month of hospital grime sounded absolutely heavenly. I probably smelled terrible. I definitely felt disgusting. And maybe, just maybe, a hot shower would help me feel more human.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed with newfound confidence after watching Knox interact with his friends and children all day.
The fear from earlier had faded into a dull hum at the back of my mind.
This man wasn’t dangerous. He was clearly devoted to me, clearly loved by the people around him, clearly a good father to our children.
I still didn’t remember him, but I had stopped being terrified of him.
My feet hit the floor and I pushed myself up and immediately almost crumpled again because apparently my legs still hadn’t gotten the memo that we were awake now.
“Whoa, easy.” Knox was at my side in an instant, his arm wrapping around my waist to steady me. “Let me help you.”
I wanted to protest. I wanted to insist I could do this myself. But my legs were trembling with the effort of just standing, and the bathroom suddenly seemed very far away.
“Okay,” I agreed quietly.
He guided me across the room with a patience that made my chest ache.
Each step was slow, deliberate, his body supporting most of my weight while still making me feel like I was walking on my own.
His hand on my hip was warm through the thin hospital gown, and his chest pressed against my side was solid and reassuring.
And distracting. Very, very distracting.
I bit my lip as heat crept up my neck. What the hell was wrong with me?
I had just woken up from a coma with no memories.
I should be focused on recovering, on remembering, on figuring out my life.
Not on how good this man smelled or how his muscles flexed under his shirt every time he adjusted his grip on me.
Yep. There was definitely a horny ghost possessing my body. Had to be.
We made it to the bathroom and Knox helped me sit on a small bench inside the shower stall. He turned on the water, adjusting the temperature until steam started to rise, and then there was this moment where neither of us knew what to do.
He was clearly trying not to look at me. His jaw was tight, his eyes fixed firmly on the shower head, his body radiating tension.
“I’ll just... turn around,” he said finally, his voice slightly strained. “Stay right here in case you need me.”
He positioned himself facing the door, his back to me, his shoulders a rigid line under his shirt.
I stripped off the hospital gown with trembling fingers and stepped under the spray.
The hot water hit my skin and I nearly moaned out loud. It felt incredible. A month of buildup washing away, swirling down the drain. I found soap and shampoo on a shelf and started the slow process of scrubbing myself clean.
I washed my teeth first with a toothbrush that had been left for me. Then my hair, working the shampoo through the tangled mess until it finally felt smooth again. Then my body, running the soap over skin that felt foreign and familiar at the same time.
Knox stayed perfectly still the entire time. Not turning, not peeking, not making any move that could be construed as inappropriate. Just standing there, guarding me, ready to help if I needed it.
Then the soap slipped from my fingers.
I watched it skitter across the shower floor and sighed. Of course. I bent down to retrieve it, my legs protesting the movement, and that’s when my feet decided to completely betray me.
One second I was reaching for the soap. The next I was falling, my treacherous legs sliding out from under me, my body pitching forward with nothing to grab onto.
“Auch!” I grunted as I hit the wet tile floor, my palms and knees taking the brunt of the impact.
Strong hands grabbed me before I could even process what had happened. Knox was there, hauling me upright, water spraying onto his clothes and face as he positioned himself under the shower head without hesitation.
“Are you okay, baby?” he asked, his voice rough with concern. His eyes were locked on my face with an intensity that told me he was fighting very hard to keep them there and nowhere else.
I was naked. Soaking wet. Pressed against his now drenched body. And he was looking at my face like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
Heat flooded my cheeks. “I’m fine. I just... the soap... I’m clumsy apparently.”
“You’re recovering from a coma. You’re allowed to be unsteady.” He helped me straighten up, his hands careful and respectful despite the circumstances. “Here, hold onto me.”
I gripped his shoulders, suddenly very aware of how his shirt was now plastered to his chest, outlining every ridge of muscle underneath. Water ran down his face, dripped from his dark hair, and he still hadn’t looked away from my eyes.
“You’re getting wet,” I said stupidly.
“It’s just water.” He shrugged, droplets flying from his shoulders. “You need me here, so I’m not going anywhere.”
My heart did a strange little flip in my chest. This man. This ridiculous, devoted, soaking wet man who was standing fully clothed in a shower just to make sure I didn’t fall again.
“Knox?”
“Yeah?”
I swallowed hard, gathering my courage. “I’ve been thinking. About my memories.”
His expression sharpened with attention. “Okay.”
“I want to try visiting familiar places. Doing familiar things. Being around familiar people.” I looked up at him, water running between us. “Maybe it will help trigger my memory. Maybe if I do enough things I used to do, my brain will start connecting the dots.”
The smile that spread across his face was blinding. “That’s a great idea. I’ll take you everywhere. The coffee shops, our house, the pack grounds. Anywhere you want to go. I’ll introduce you to everyone again, show you all your favorite spots, cook all your favorite foods.”
His enthusiasm was infectious. For a moment, I forgot about the fear and confusion and let myself feel hopeful.
“And if it doesn’t work?” I asked quietly. “If I never remember?”
Knox’s hands came up to cup my face, his thumbs brushing gently over my cheekbones. Water ran over his fingers, warm and steady.
“Then I’ll just make you fall in love with me again,” he said simply. “And again. And again. As many times as it takes.”
The sincerity in his voice made my breath catch. He meant it. Every word. He would court me all over again, woo me from scratch, rebuild everything we had lost.
I felt the urge to mess with him.
“You really think you could do that?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Make me fall in love with you?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Is that a challenge?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged, trying to look innocent. “I’m just saying, I don’t remember being in love with you. For all I know, you tricked me into this marriage. Or bribed me. Or...”
“Tricked you?” He sounded genuinely offended. “I’ll have you know, you pursued me first.”
“That seems unlikely.”
“You literally tracked me down at a hotel and demanded answers after I rejected you.”
“Maybe I was just angry. That doesn’t mean I wanted to marry you.”
“You proposed to me in a coffee shop.”
“I did not.”
“You absolutely did. You got down on one knee and everything.”
I gaped at him. “There’s no way I got down on one knee.”
“You’re right, actually. You didn’t kneel. You just threw a ring box at my head and said ‘marry me, you idiot’ and honestly, it was the most romantic moment of my life.”
I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. His face was completely serious but there was a glint in his gray eyes that suggested he might be messing with me.
“You’re making that up.”
“I have witnesses.”
“Your brother doesn’t count.”
“Noah would never lie.”
“I literally watched him tell Hunt he didn’t eat the last cookie three hours ago. While he still had crumbs on his shirt. And chocolate on his fingers.”
Knox’s lips twitched. “Okay, fair point. But I’m not lying about this.”
“Prove it.”
“How am I supposed to prove it? Your memory is gone.”
“Guess you’ll just have to convince me again then.” I tilted my head, challenging him. “Show me why I apparently fell so desperately in love with you that I threw a ring at your head.”
The shift in his expression was immediate. One moment he was playful, teasing. The next his eyes had gone dark with an intensity that made my stomach clench.
“Is that what you want?” His voice dropped lower, rougher. “You want me to convince you?”
I should have said no. I should have backed off, laughed it off, changed the subject. This was moving too fast. I didn’t remember this man. I shouldn’t be flirting with him in a shower while completely naked and pressed against his body.
“Yes,” I heard myself say.
We were getting closer. Both of us moving at the same time, the space between us shrinking until there was almost nothing left. The water pounded down on us, hot and relentless, and his shirt was completely ruined now, plastered to his chest and shoulders.
“You’re ruining your clothes,” I said, my voice coming out breathier than I intended.
“I don’t care.”
My hands moved without permission, sliding up his chest to the buttons of his shirt. “Let me help you then.”