Chapter 11 Caelan
— · —
Caelan
I didn’t actually sleep.
I lay on Riley’s couch, eyes closed, pretending to rest while my wolf prowled restlessly beneath my skin. She was so close. Just through that door. In her bed.
I could hear her heartbeat through the wall. Steady now, slower than before, the rhythm of someone drifting toward dreams.
The apartment was dark except for the dying glow of candles. The storm had softened to a steady rain, pattering against the windows. Everything around me was hers. I’d never been so comfortable and so on edge at the same time.
Hours passed. I tracked them by the burning down of candles, the shifting of shadows. The rain continued its steady rhythm against the glass, and somewhere in the building, a pipe groaned. My wolf wouldn’t settle, wouldn’t stop pacing and let me truly rest when she was so close. Not close enough.
Around 3 AM, Riley’s heartbeat changed. It became faster, irregular, her breathing catching. I sat up. Through the wall, I heard a whimper. A soft cry, then movement, sheets rustling, someone thrashing.
I was off the couch and at her door before I made a conscious decision. My hand hovered over the handle. I shouldn’t go in. This was her bedroom. Friends didn’t just barge into bedrooms in the middle of the night.
She cried out again, louder this time, distressed. I opened the door immediately.
The room was lit only by the gray glow of a dying candle on her nightstand. I didn’t need light to see her, though. My wolf eyes adjusted instantly, and what I saw made my blood run cold.
Riley was tangled in her sheets, face twisted, tears tracking down her cheeks. She was caught in a nightmare, her body fighting an invisible threat. Her hands clawed at the air, pushing away enemies I couldn’t see. Her legs kicked, trapped in the cotton that had wound around her like a shroud.
Her lips were moving, the same words over and over, barely audible.
“Please. Stop. Please don’t...”
My heart shattered.
Who had done this to her? Who had hurt her so badly that her unconscious mind was still fighting them off? It had to be fucking Damien. The man who left bruises on her and took forty percent of everything she earned, convinced her it was fair.
I was going to kill him. Not quickly, not mercifully. I was going to take him apart piece by piece and enjoy every second of it. But that was for later. Right now, she needed me.
I was at her bedside in three steps, reaching for her, not sure if I should touch but unable to stop myself.
“Riley.” I kept my voice gentle, steady. “Riley, wake up.”
She didn’t respond. Her hands clawed at the sheets, fighting.
“Riley.” I touched her shoulder, squeezed gently. “It’s a dream. Just a dream. You’re safe. Come back to me.”
Her eyes flew open and for a moment, she just stared at me, eyes unfocused, not seeing. Then recognition flooded her face, and she crumpled.
“Caelan.” My name came out broken, desperate. “Caelan...”
I didn’t think, just gathered her into my arms, pulling her against my chest, holding her while she shook.
“I’m here,” I murmured against her hair.
“You’re safe. I’ve got you.” My arms tightened around her, and my voice dropped lower, fiercer.
“Nothing’s going to hurt you. Not while I’m breathing.
Whatever it was, whatever you saw, I’ll destroy it.
I’ll tear it apart with my bare hands before I let anything touch you. ”
She pressed closer, her fingers fisting in my shirt, and I held her tighter. Held her like I could shield her from the memories themselves. Like I could absorb her fear into my own body and carry it for her.
“I’ve got you,” I said again. “And I’m not letting go.”
Riley cried for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes.
I held her through all of it, one hand stroking her hair, the other pressed flat against her back.
She was trembling against me, and I wanted to tear apart whatever caused this.
Wanted to find the nightmare and destroy it with my bare hands.
Hunt down every memory that haunted her and rip it from existence.
When the tears finally slowed, she pulled back slightly. Her face was blotchy, eyes red, nose running. She looked embarrassed, though she had never looked prettier than this, when she was the realest.
“Sorry,” she whispered, swiping at her cheeks. “I don’t usually... that was...”
“Don’t apologize.”
“It’s just a stupid dream...”
“It didn’t look stupid.” I took her face in my hands, tilting it up so she had to meet my eyes. “You don’t have to tell me what it was about, but don’t call it stupid. Don’t dismiss your own pain.”
She took a shaky breath. “I don’t even remember what it was. I never do. Just...” She pressed a hand to her chest. “It always leaves me with this giant hole, right here, like something’s missing. Like something was taken from me and I can’t remember what.”
My wolf growled low and I barely managed to control him.
“Whatever was taken,” I said, my voice rough, “I’ll get it back for you. Whatever’s missing, I’ll fill it. I swear to you, Riley. You’ll never feel that emptiness again.”
Her breath caught at my intensity, but she didn’t pull away.
“Stay.” She whispered, and the word immediately pulled me out of my thoughts. Riley was looking at me, vulnerable and scared and so beautiful it hurt.
“What?” I grunted.
Please, goddess, tell me I didn’t just hallucinate her asking me to stay.
“Stay here. With me.” She gestured at the bed. “I don’t want to be alone.”
Yes. My heart stopped, restarted, stopped again. I could die of happiness right now and not regret a single fucking thing.
Scratch that. I would fucking regret not spending more time with her, so I probably shouldn’t die right now.
“Riley...” I forced myself to think clearly, which was nearly impossible when she was looking at me like that. “Is this... is this how friends behave?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice was small. “I’ve never had a friend like you.”
“I’ve never had a friend at all.”
She laughed, surprised. “Really?”
“Not like this. Not someone I want to be around all the time. Someone who makes me laugh, who I think about constantly.”
“You think about me constantly?”
“Yes. I can’t stop it. Every minute, every second. You’re all I think about, Riley. When I wake up, when I fall asleep, when I’m doing anything at all. You’re there in my head, my chest. In every thought I have.”
Her breath hitched.
“Stay,” she said again. “Please.”
“You don’t have to beg.” The words were out before she finished speaking, urgent. “I told you I’d say yes to whatever the fuck you asked of me. I’m your humble servant, Riley. Of course I’ll stay. Whatever you need.”
She sucked in a breath at my intensity. I knew I probably should tone it down, but I didn’t care right now. She asked me to stay and I would burn down the world for less.
I climbed into her bed.
The mattress dipped under my weight. Her bed was small, not designed for someone my size, and I had to fold myself around her to fit. I would have slept on a bed of nails if it meant being close to her.
She fit against me like she was made for it. Her head tucked under my chin, her forehead pressed to my collarbone. Her hand curled against my chest, fingers splayed over my heart like she was checking that it was still beating. Her legs tangled with mine, her cold feet pressing against my calves.
She was warm and soft against me, and she smelled like every fucking single one of my fantasies come true. My wolf howled in triumph. Mine. Finally. Finally. This was what we’d been waiting for. What we’d been searching for years. This perfect, impossible rightness.
I wrapped my arms around her and held on like she might disappear if I let go.
“Thank you,” she murmured against my collarbone, her breath warm on my skin.
“For what?”
“Coming to help. Staying. Being here.” A pause. “Being you.”
“Always,” I said. It came out like a vow. “I’ll always be here. Whenever you need me. Wherever you are. You call, and I come. That’s not negotiable.”
She relaxed against me, her breathing evening out, her heartbeat slowing. Within minutes, she was asleep.
I didn’t sleep, could only lie there holding my mate, my world, and wonder what I ever did to deserve this moment.
So I lay there for hours, holding Riley, watching her breathe.
Counting her eyelashes. Memorizing the curve of her cheek, the shape of her ear, the tiny scar on her forehead I’d never noticed before.
The way her nose twitched when she dreamed.
The way she hummed softly in her sleep, little sounds of contentment that made my chest ache.
At some point, she shifted, burrowing deeper into my chest, her hand fisting in my shirt like she was afraid I’d disappear. I held her tighter, pressed my lips to the top of her head, breathed her in.
She smelled like vanilla, like the candles scattered around her apartment and something uniquely her that I would recognize anywhere. I could track that scent across continents, across worlds. I would follow it to the ends of the earth if I had to.
My wolf rumbled contentedly. This was right. This was where we belonged. Not in Duskmere with its politics and expectations, not in the human world with its noise and chaos, but here. In this bed, with this woman.
I could do this forever. I would do this forever, if she let me. Wake up every day with her in my arms, fall asleep every night with her heartbeat against my chest. Build a life around this feeling, this rightness. This certainty that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
In Duskmere, I had everything. Wealth, power, a kingdom that would one day be mine. But I’d never had this. This peace. This feeling of completeness I hadn’t even known I was missing until I found it.
My wolf had settled completely for the first time since I arrived in the human world. Content. She was home.