Chapter 7 - Laura
I rubbed my eyes, feeling a headache just behind my eyes. I rub my thumb and point my finger into my temple, wishing for the ache to ease up. I didn't think it would. It was from a lack of sleep.
Michael was up again last night, crying because he was hurting again. He was running another high fever, and the medication wasn't taking it down. He sweated through his pajamas, so I put him in a cold bath, hoping it would help.
I tried to think of any tricks I could to soothe him, knowing there was nothing the ER would do. Ashley had explained it was all part of the process and that it sucked.
I tried to think about what the doctor had told us and how it came in waves. It would set, and we just had to power through it. It broke my heart to watch him in pain. I think I cried just as much as Michael did last night.
I chewed on my lip, wondering if I should tell Miles the truth about Michael. He seemed to be a different person than who he was when we were in school. And he would understand all this shifter stuff so much better than I could.
But a small part of me still wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for the truth to come out.
There was a soft knock on the door, and I pulled my eyes up, spotting Ayden. He gave me a sympathetic smile. "You look tired."
I nodded, looking down at the papers in front of me. I'd been staring at them for the past hour. "I am…Michael wasn't doing well last night, so neither of us got any sleep."
"So, I'm guessing you don't have the report for the month?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I'll have it by tomorrow. I just.."
"Don't apologize," Ayden said, sitting across my desk. "I know how it is. I was at the ER, too, remember."
I softly smiled. "How is Poppy doing? Has she finally stopped jumping off your staircase?"
He smiled, and I could see the joy in his eyes. "Good. And she's paused jumping off the stairs for now. She is more eager about Wendy being pregnant and the thought of being a big sister. "
Wendy told me a couple of days ago that she was expecting, and I was over the moon for her. Ayden and Wendy seemed to have a perfect relationship.
"I imagine she is." I rubbed my hands together. "How do you handle all this? Because I feel that I'm sinking."
Ayden leaned forward. "I'm not alone. I have Wendy. Everyone needs someone, even if it's just a friend to lean on."
I felt embarrassed suddenly.
Ayden titled his head. "I know you've been doing this for a while, which makes me wonder why. Why isn't the dad in the picture?"
I smirked. "Because I'm a strong, independent woman?" I said sarcastically.
Ayden smirked. "Even a strong, independent woman needs a hand every once in a while."
I looked down at my hands. I hadn't told anyone who Michael's father was. I could hardly tell myself the truth.
"Can you keep a secret?" I asked, looking back at him. "Being the Alpha, I'm sure you have to."
He chuckled. "Yeah, I can."
"You can't tell your wife." I quickly added.
He made a face and shrugged. "That makes it a little more complicated."
"I never told the man that I was pregnant."
Ayden raised a single eyebrow. "Was it from a relationship?"
I decided to be honest and nodded. "Yeah, but…a complex one."
"Did you find out before or after the breakup?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Does that matter?"
Ayden nodded. "It does."
I blew some air out. "Before."
"Does Michael know who it is?"
I shook my head. "No….I never told him. I haven't told him anything."
Ayden tilted his head. "Why are you thinking about that now?"
I looked away, rubbing my thumb along the wood of my desk. "Because I feel like I'm drowning. I've kept things together for so long…every life decision has always been us and what was best for him. And now, with this shifter thing… I'm out in the deep end sinking. I've been wondering if I made the right decision."
"Was the man not ready to be a father?"
I thought of who Miles was. Of course, he was a great guy, but was he ready to be a father? No. Had I been ready to be a mother? Also no.
"We were young and dumb," I stated.
"Do you want the dad to be part of the picture now?"
Did I? Clearly, Miles would know more about this. There were many things I wished I could do for Michael that I just couldn't. I couldn't relate to things being a mom. I couldn't relate to shifters, and now, that was a huge part of his life.
"Maybe," I admit.
"Whatever you decide, life isn't easy. No one knows if they are making the right decisions, Laura. We're all just hoping we are."
Ayden pulled himself out of his chair. "When you're done with it, just drop the report off on my desk."
Ayden slipped out, and I sighed. I looked at my phone, seeing it was a little past four. I pinched my eyes and groaned. I was too tired to finish.
"You look tired."
I jumped at the voice, seeing Miles leaning on my door frame. He had his arms crossed, which made his biceps bulge in his shoulder.
I swallowed, looking away. "I am. I didn't sleep well last night."
"Do you want a ride home?" he asked, "I'm heading out now. I've been here since five."
I thought about it. I should have been here for another hour or so, but I was too tired. I wasn't getting anything accomplished anyway, and it would be better if I called it a day and came back tomorrow.
"Yeah, if you don't mind."
He smiled. "Of course not. It's on my way home anyway."
As we drove, I closed my eyes. I hoped that Michael and I could get some much-needed sleep tonight. He seemed to be feeling better today, so maybe we could catch a break tonight.
"We're here."
When I opened my eyes, I realized Miles was parking in front of the house. I could see Michael's backpack sitting on the steps. He liked to drop it and run over to the neighbors' house to hang with their son.
"Thanks."
"Where’s your son?" he asked, and I could see his eyes searching. My stomach dipped.
"At the neighbors. They have a son he hangs out with after school until I get home."
"Can I meet him?"
My entire body tensed up. I took a slow breath in and looked at him. The questions were simple. Michael had met a couple of the guys already, so I'm sure he just wanted to meet him like everyone else.
But my stomach twisted up. I thought about what they all said about shifters. You feel that pull...you just know. Ashley knew Poppy was her daughter the second she laid eyes on her. I had lied about his age, but Miles would feel something, would he? I couldn't have that right now.
"No, and it's highly inappropriate to ask that. We don't know each other well enough for me just to show you my kid."
Miles's face went beat red, and he stammered. "I wasn't trying to be rude, Laura. I was just asking to meet him. You talk about him, and I just wanted to put a face to the name."
I looked away. "Miles, it's been Michael and I for a long time. I can't just have him meet random guys. My last relationship ended badly, and I can't have that in my life again. So, no. You can't meet my son."
I opened the door and got out. I didn't bother looking back as I headed inside.
Guilt kicked in, and I took a deep breath. I was rude. All he wanted to do was meet Michael, and I behaved like an ass.
I quickly shook it off. "I'll apologize tomorrow." It was better this way until I knew how to navigate everything. I just needed to keep Miles in the dark as much as I could for right now.
Michael came home a few minutes later and showered before we ate. After finishing the dishes, he headed to his room, and I sat on the couch when my phone rang.
I grabbed it, and my eyebrows went up to see that it was Miles. My stomach twisted up, wondering why he was calling. I was tempted to ignore it when that guilt kicked back in.
I answered it. "Hello?"
"I'm sorry."
I froze.
I could hear him sigh. "You're right. Considering our history, I shouldn't have thought you would introduce me to your son when you've only been here a few weeks. I just…I miss you, Laura."
My eyebrows went up.
"I mean…I miss our relationship and not just the sex. When we were at the market, I remembered how much we had got along. I want us to be friends, and I'm trying. I'm sorry if I overstepped."
I bit my lip, and I could hear Michael upstairs. I thought about my conversation with Ayden. Everyone needs someone.
"Thank you. I'm sorry I snapped at you….I am protective of Michael. It's just him and me and I don’t want him to get hurt." That had been what scared me most. I could handle Miles when he was cold, but it was never a side I wanted Michael to see.
"Maybe another time," he said, and I could hear the hope in his voice.
"Yeah….maybe another time." I knew I was going to have to tell him, but not now, when I was still trying to figure things out.
"Okay… I'll see you at work tomorrow."
The line ended, and I stared at my phone. I chewed on my cheek, wondering if I was just making an even bigger mess of my life.