Chapter 12
Twelve
Wesley
Iawaken to an empty bed once more, my heart sinking in my chest. I stare at that empty spot, knowing it’s always the same, but somehow this feels different. Worse than it usually does.
My memory falls back to last night. To Ivy and her bloodheat, to my own bloodheat and those assholes who wanted to take what was mine.
She’s not mine, what the fuck? I shake off the weird thought. Nothing feels like it’s making sense anymore.
What I felt in Ivy’s presence… is not something I can even begin to describe.
It was like I’ve always known her, and in a way I guess I knew of her.
She was meant to be my bride one day, but I don’t know if she knows that.
Probably not. Still, I can’t shake the fact that fate put her here because in some twisted way, she’s supposed to be here, with me.
Like it’s her destiny, and not some series of unfortunate events, and I know that’s fucking crazy.
I’ve been here for four years. Four bloody years, and now, all of a sudden, she shows up and…
And then there was the bloodheat.
Her bloodheat, to be exact. I’ve been around enough women in their bloodheat to know the usual symptoms: the hunger, the smells, the allure. And I’ve scented my fair share of vampiresses in bloodheat, and not one of those ever made me feel so… unhinged.
It was like there was some monster in my psyche pushing against a cage I didn’t know existed until that moment.
I was no longer Wesley Castor. I was someone else.
Some amalgamation of desire and primal need with legs.
But even beneath the sudden rush of blood to my cock, amidst the chaotic voice in my head, I felt the deepest desire to protect her. To care for her.
To make sure she was safe, because she was mine to protect.
Mine to care for. And I know that sounds crazy.
But even now, in the depth of my stomach, I feel that same compulsion.
To get up from this bed and knock on her door and see if she’s alright.
Though she may be gone already to class at this point, so I’m not sure what good it would do either of us.
And then there’s Adrien.
I let out a deep sigh, reaching across the empty space and place it where Adrien slept. The spot is surprisingly still warm. Which means he must have overslept.
I told him I loved him last night. He didn’t say it back, not that I expected him to, but a part of me feels gutted he didn’t say it. And I’d asked him to make love to me, because I know he does love me, even if he doesn’t say it, and I had the feeling if I didn’t tell him then, I never would.
And I wanted him to know how much I love him, how much he means to me.
I’m still not sure about whatever I’m feeling for Ivy, if it’s a feeling at all and not some primal impulse that’s finally settled after years of being dormant, or what, but what I feel for her does not change the way I feel about him.
I don’t think anything in the world could change the way I feel about Adrien Claire.
And then he silenced me with his vicious mouth and fucked me hard.
Harder than he usually does. I enjoyed it more than I probably should have, but I can’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t…
completely there. With me. Just like the other night.
Part of him was somewhere else. Thinking about something else.
Or perhaps… someone.
My stomach flips with nausea at the thought of him with someone else. I know it’s not fair, given current circumstances and all, but I don’t want him with anyone else. I want him for myself.
Mine.
I don’t know what’s going on with him, and I’m not certain I can blame it on Ivy or our heated kiss. But I do know something is wrong, and I don’t know how to fix it.
My mind wanders to Ivy. She’d run away so fast, after Adrien had left. I’d wanted to go to her then, but I thought better of it because she was upset and I wasn’t sure I was the person she wanted to see, given the reason for her upset was because of me. Because I’d kissed her.
I’d kissed her and touched her, and felt her in my arms, her warmth pressed against my clothed cock, and I’d forgotten my entire sense of self. I didn’t know where I was, who I was, or what existed, except her. Except her kiss and this throbbing energy between us that was like magic all on its own.
I tell myself I’ll check on her later, as my alarm rings, alerting me that I need to get up and get ready for art class.
I’ll approach her there, and perhaps we can talk.
Figure this all out. I can apologize and we can put whatever happened behind us and simply move on and then I can tell Adrien this is behind me. Behind us.
Because I know, without a doubt, I want there to be an us. Adrien and me. My heart aches at the thought, Ivy’s memory pushing forth.
No, I can’t. I should not have kissed her like that, I should not have upset her.
She is my brother’s rejected offering. My former bride to be.
She is a princess, and she has been through so much already if she has arrived here, and I can not add to her trouble.
I can not be another nail in her proverbial coffin.
Ivy needs to settle in here and figure things out on her own, she doesn’t need a man like me—an anomaly like me—causing her any more confusion.
Still, I can’t shake the thought of her response to Chloe’s admission.
About my bloodheat. I make my way to the shower, chewing on this detail, because honestly, it was the first time someone didn’t balk at the truth.
The vampires here all give me a wide berth, especially during my bloodheat.
Most of the men—aside from Adrien—don’t even want to look at me when I get those waves, and the women here, for the most part, don’t ask questions, and now they don’t really respond at all, but in the beginning, they did.
They looked at me like I was truly a freak of nature, because I am.
I know that, and so do they, but no one brings it up.
I turn the hot water on and quickly set to cleaning myself up.
Ivy didn’t look at me like I was a freak. She looked at me like she was just as hungry and enticed as I felt. She looked at me like prey. And I had the faintest feeling if I didn’t stop her, she would sink her fangs into me and never let go. And I’m not sure I would put up a fight, either.
The thought of Ivy sinking her fangs into me causes my cock to twitch, but I ignore it. I’m too melancholy this morning and I don’t think jerking off is the solution I need.
I go through the motions and head to art, going over the words in my head that I want to say to Ivy. But when I get there, she’s not there.
Perhaps she’s running late.
When Chloe comes through the door, I look behind her, but no Ivy. She takes her seat next to me.
“Where’s Ivy?” I ask.
Chloe shrugs. “Not feeling well, I guess. I went to get her this morning and she told me she was sick and to tell the teach she’d be out today.”
Sick?
My stomach twists and I have a hard time believing such a thing. Call it a gut hunch or something, but I just… know.
“I see,” I say, shaking off the thought as Professor Morningside starts their lecture. I can’t concentrate because I keep thinking about last night’s events. About the bloodheat, the kiss, about Adrien and his weird behavior.
I feel like I’m grasping at straws, like I’m missing something but I have no clue what.
When class is over, I book it out of there, not bothering to stay and chat with Chloe. Adrien isn’t outside like he usually is, which also adds to my worry. He said he wasn’t mad, and we fucked, but…
Something feels off. Wrong. Like a hurricane is about to hit us all.
I nearly leap up the steps to Ivy’s room and knock on the door until she opens it.
“What?” she hisses, and I take a step back, uncertain if I have the right room.
Because the woman in front of me does not look well.
There are dark circles under her eyes as if she’s been crying all night, and she looks exhausted, but it’s the grimace on her face and the way she’s holding her stomach that cause alarm for me.
“Are you alright, Chloe said you were sick and I—”
Ivy lets out a groan as she braces herself against the door.
“F–fine, it’ll pass, I just–”
And all at once, Chloe’s words sink into my memory. About Ivy needing to eat.
“Ivy, did you—last night, after—”
I run a hand through my hair as she lets out an exasperated cry, and the minute I see her nearly buckle, I don’t think twice and lunge to catch her. She grasps my arms, and all at once that energy festers again, and she looks up at me with a pained expression.
“Eat?” I ask. The way her gaze drifts to my neck, her fangs catching the light, tell me the answer before she does.
“No,” she mutters. “I didn’t want to, I—”
“Ivy, you need to eat. You’re in bloodheat.” The fact I’m telling her this is not lost on me, because Adrien’s told me plenty of times to take care of myself.
And yet I always think I can manage, but then…
Then he always comes to save me from myself, because he’s too good a person to let me suffer as I should.
“No,” she cries, as I help her up. “Just n-need… lie down.”
“Ivy—”
“Just take me to my bed, Wesley. Leave me be.”
I am torn between listening and forcing her to eat. I know she won’t like it, but in this state, I’m certainly stronger and she needs the blood. Clearly.
“Okay,” I say as I help her to her bed. She crawls up on it, pulling her legs to her chest. Her long nightgown clings to her skin, and I realize she’s sweating. Which means she’s not far from a full blown crash.
Fuck.
I don’t think twice as I bring my wrist to my lips and bite. Hard enough I draw blood. It hurts, and the taste of my blood is not as good as Adrien’s, but it’ll have to do. I wait until I get a good rush and then I let it hover against her lips. She closes her eyes, her body shaking.
“Ivy,” I call. She shakes like a leaf, but there’s still a quiet, understated defiance as she snuffs my wrists, even though her lips are turning blue.