Chapter 9 - Graduation Blues
I quietly stand off to the side while wolves in their graduation gowns run around, chattering away with their friends. The well wishes and “I’ll miss you”
sound around the room. Left alone, I realize that although no one caused me trouble here at school, I was left with no friends and spent my “golden years” in high school as a literal lone wolf.
The halls behind the gymnasium where graduation will take place buzz with an excited and nervous energy.
“Geminie, are you ready?”
Mrs. Horris asks. The wolf with graying hair looks around the halls and smiles. As our Principal, she has been the wolf who mentored and helped me through many things since entering grade nine. She understood me right away on the first day we met, when she watched me faint during my first day at school. As we sat in her office, my heart was racing, thinking that I would be in trouble. Mrs. Horris surprised me by handing me a warm meal from the cafeteria and a glass of orange juice. Her calm eyes carefully took in my thin body as she asked me one question: Are you an Omega?
I felt compelled to explain everything to her, from my life as an Omega and what led to that position being placed onto me, how this small chili and warm bread she placed before me was my first meal in four days, and how I never intended to faint and be late. It was this honesty that led to the Principal into helping me, and without her help, I would not have been able to graduate today. I would not be valedictorian or have the highest grades at the end of each and every class.
“I think I am.”
I answer, seeing Mrs. Horris nod as she fixes the golden sash placed across my body and gives me an encouraging smile. We make our way to the front of the graduation line, faculty nodding at me while the four other students with exceptional grades silently wave a greeting. The excited buzz in the halls slowly dies down as the music begins to play, and the doors to the gymnasium swing open.
The faculty begins their entrance first, taking slow, measured steps as they walk forward, barely paying any attention to the crowd. The rest of us follow behind as parents shout their children’s names in praise of their success in graduation once they catch sight of them. Envy swells inside me, wishing I had their luck, that I had parents that loved me and were proud of my accomplishments. But wishing leaves an empty feeling and a bitter taste of resentment that I did not need. Tomorrow I will be far away from everyone and, with time, will find my own place in this life.
With the procession leading to the stage, I force a happy smile on my face and follow the few students with the honour of sitting amongst the faculty while the rest of the graduates file into the rows of seats below. As the last row takes their seat, the ceremony begins.
“Please welcome this year’s valedictorian, Geminie Blake.”
After the introductory speech made by the principal congratulating us on a job well done in our success as graduates, as well as how much of an honour it has been teaching the future of each pack in the area, my name is called. I take a deep breath before standing, knowing my speech will be the last one before diplomas are handed out. I take careful steps towards the podium, shake hands with Mrs. Horris, and turn to face the crowd, waiting for the few cheers and wolf whistles thrown my way to quiet down, the crowd shocking me with their excitement for my speech.
“Good afternoon, faculty, parents and guardians, visiting Alphas and, lastly, my fellow graduates.”
I begin, taking a look around and spotting the Beta couple watching me. They were only here for appearances and nothing more, as representatives of the pack. Even though I hate the feeling, disappointment still washes over me. I hide it behind the smile I keep on my lips.
"Four years ago, we stepped into these doors as new students, eyes wide in curiosity at the building that would mould us for our future. I remember the first days of freshman year, and one thing that stuck with me was the quote, "Even if you take three steps forward, you'll find yourself being forced to take one step back; but keep moving because great things await." Those were the first words said to us by Mrs. Horris as she greeted us at our orientation, and to this day, those words ring true for each and every one of us.”
I continue, take a deep breath and try to imagine the future I will have after today, the obstacles I will face when I leave my pack. I think of the people and wolves I will one day meet and where I want life to take me.
A life I can call my own.
“As we move forward from these moments and friends we’ve made, we will face more challenges along the way, meet new people and learn new things. We will go through new experiences, from leading a pack, to protecting the ones we love, to even going on a journey to find ourselves. But today, know this.”
I pause again, the smile on my face morphing from fake to a genuine grin as the endless possibilities in front of me after today bring me peace of mind, my own words encouraging me to look towards my own future.
“We did it, we made it through high school, and we will make it through anything as long as we look forward to a new tomorrow and try our best to live our lives to the fullest." A cheer erupts after my words, and the staff thanks me for my speech as I take my seat once again. Just another few hours and today will end, and my freedom will begin. I could do this.
◆◆◆
"Geminie Blake. Honour student, valedictorian, Artistic Paw Award, Silver Literature Award, and the Golden Halo Award for most community hours served in the graduating class of 2019." I stand as my name is announced, walking up to the podium once again to shake hands with the faculty standing there; the heads of the English department, Arts department and the Vice-Principal each hold an award and envelope in their hands while I take my diploma from Mrs. Horris.
The trophies gleam in the light as I accept them, quickly hiding the envelopes with the monetary awards into the folder my diploma comes in while I thank each of these wolves for their teachings and guidance throughout my years in the school.
I take my seat again after pictures are taken for the school website, pictures I plan to save and print for when I find my own home and take the time other wolves are called to the stage to look at the halo in my hands, the paw covered in dripping paint and the "silver" quill on a silver book, each set on a wooden base.
These awards reminded me of how well I had done these last four years while living in hell within Hidden Claws, and that I will thrive wherever I go. My determination to leave is growing stronger once again.
As the list of graduates receive their diplomas and awards, and the ceremony ends, I make the trek back to the pack house alone, taking the time to enjoy the fall surroundings, reminding myself that my fate is in my own hands.