Chapter 3
“Siusan, ye can’t just go around the edge, ye have to put the needle back through to the front. Then back again.” Mazey tried to untangle the mess of thread Siusan created.
They sat together outside, under a large tree.
They had visited this tree each day for the past few weeks and sewed together.
The sun shone down all around them, but a gentle breeze kept them cool.
Siusan learned quickly and in her haste to finish a scrap of cloth for her father, sometimes forgot what she learned.
“Ah forgot.” She twirled a small flower between her fingers and stuck her nose into the sweet petals and inhaled the scent.
“Aye, but now look here, ah’ll show ye again. If ye go around the fabric like this, ye’ll get a bunched up mess, like what ye had before. Ye have to go up through the cloth and down through, again. Over and over. Now ye try.”
Mazey handed the project back to Siusan. She made a baby blanket for her bairn. She sewed small flowers and green leaves with a delicate hand. She daydreamed what her bairn would look like. Maybe she would have her father’s dark hair but her mother’s blue eyes. And cute dimples on her cheeks.
“Ah like it when ye smile like that, Maze.” Siusan watched her expression carefully.
“Ah was thinking about what my bairn would look like,” she said absently, continuing her project.
“Ye have a bairn?” Siusan jumped up in excitement and dropped the needlework.
Mazey fumbled for a way to explain away what she said, but her mind was blank. She fessed up. “Aye,” she replied and stood. She poked her belly out as far as she could so Siusan could see the slight roundness to her figure. “Ah have a bairn in my belly. She is growing and will be born soon.”
“How soon?” Siusan asked her with a bright curiosity.
“Ah’m not sure, but she’ll come when she’s ready.” Mazey rubbed her belly with one hand and felt a small kick against her hand. She jumped in surprise. The wee bairn moved about in her womb, but hadn’t ever kicked strong enough to feel on the outside.
She grabbed Siusan’s hand and put it on her belly. “Feel that? Just there. Do you feel her kicking?”
“I felt nothing yet. Is it a girl?” Siusan asked with a giggle.
“Ah dunno. Ah feel like it is.” Mazey responded.
Siusan pulled her hand away with a start. “Ah felt it!” She squealed loudly. “Ah felt yer bairn kick my hand.”
Mazey laughed. “It feels strange doesn’t it?”
Siusan nodded. “Ah wanna eat supper now. Can we go see Faither?”
“Aye, let’s head back.” Before Mazey could gather everything together, Siusan was sprinting off towards the keep with her hair blowing in the wind. Her chubby legs took her off towards home in a rush. Mazey ran after her, hoping to catch up before she found her father.
“Siusan! Wait up.” She hollered out to her, but the stubborn child kept going, determined to outrun her maid.
Just before they reached the door, Mazey overtook her. She grabbed hold of her hands and pulled her gently through the door. She bent down and spoke in a stern voice. “Don’t run off again. Ah don’t like to run fast. Plus ah need to take care not to hurt my bairn.”
Siusan’s brow furrowed, and a tear slid down her cheek at the mild scolding.
“Ah didn’t mean to make ye cry,” Mazey amended.
“Ah don’t wanna hurt yer bairn,” Siusan said miserably.
Mazey smiled and kissed her cheek, then pulled her off to the dining hall.
Baile sat alone in his usual place while he ate his meal, lost in thought. He usually waited for them, but they were late and his patience must have waned. He looked at Mazey with a stern expression, but it quickly disappeared when Siusan ran over and hopped onto his lap.
“Faither, Maze has a bairn.”
“Aye, ah know that.”
“It’s in her belly, and ah felt the bairn kick my hand. Ah think it’s a wee girl child.” She beamed up at her father with a glowing look of pride on her face.
“Ah’m sure ye’re right. Ye seem to be right most of the time.” She grinned at that and hopped off his lap to sit in her normal spot. “Ye need supper. Ah didn’t think ye would be so late.” Baile looked over at Mazey, his jaw clenched and eyes narrow.
She blanched at his expression. She could tell he was angry.
“Ah’m sorry we were late. We were working on our sewing and ah lost track of time.
” Her voice shook and trailed off. Her palms sweat and she shook.
She knew what would happen next, this is when he would hit her.
Baile reached over to move a piece of hair that was sticking up from Siusan’s head and Mazey winced in anticipation.
He must have seen her reaction. He drew his hand back, eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. “Ye’re not in trouble, lass.”
Mazey felt near tears. She stood up to leave.
Anything to get away. She needed to get away from everything.
She needed to run. She couldn’t keep the tremble out of her voice.
“Ah… ah know. Ah just…” She couldn’t finish her sentence.
Her mouth gulped for air and a thick knot in her throat made it feel like she couldn’t swallow.
“Ah’ll just…” She pivoted to run away. The room swam around her and the corners of her eyes grew dark.
The last thing she saw was Baile jumping out of his chair.
“Are ye awake, lass?” Baile growled. She was on the ground, a hand under her head, and couldn’t remember how she got there.
She tried to sit up, but Baile kept a hand firmly pressed against her shoulder.
He was close enough she could smell the familiar scent of parchment and ink.
Something crinkled his deep blue eyes around the corners and his mouth down-turned in what Mazey could only hope was concern.
“What happened?”
The grip on her shoulder eased, and she sat up slowly. “Ye fainted after ye stood. Ye need rest. Ah’ll send for the doctor. Cohlm was already helping someone else in the keep, so he won’t need to go far.”
“Ah’m all right. Ah’ll just drink water. Ah don’t think there’s anything wrong, really.”
Baile’s eyes narrowed and his mouth set in a straight line. “Ye’ll go rest by yer own choice or ah’ll force ye to. One or the other.”
Mazey pursed her lips into a pout, and considered her options. She didn’t want to miss out on the rest of the day, but she didn’t want to anger Baile either. She sighed in resignation. “Aye, ah’ll go.”
He pulled her to her feet. She tried to walk away to her room, but Baile stayed by her side, holding on to her arm as they walked. His presence near her stirred something in her. Perhaps it was just comfort, but it felt like something more.
“Ah’ll help ye to yer room. Ah’m headed to my study.”
She didn’t argue, knowing full well that it would be a fruitless endeavor. They stopped just outside her door.
“Ah think ah should wait with ye until Cohlm arrives. Ah know that women with child can faint, but ah want to be sure ye’re okay.”
Mazey felt a warmth spread through her. He showed kindness she hadn’t experienced since she was young, except for her brief encounters with people in that keep that took pity on her. Perhaps his kindness came from pity. Either way, she was happy to have it. He followed her in to the room.
Baile pulled the chair from the corner of the room, up to the side of her bed. “We have time now. Ah want to hear all about ye. Tell me about what yer life has been like. Ah care about the people who work for me, especially the ones that are caring for my child.”
Mazey was silent in response. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t tell him everything. Were she to disclose the past to him, he would recoil. She was nothing, a lowly woman who left her husband. She disappointed her husband at every turn, and couldn’t get anything right.
Baile waited, but when she didn’t respond, spoke again. “Before ye fainted, ye flinched away from my hand, like ah would hit ye for being late. Ah’ll tell ye again, Mazey, ah’ll never hit ye. And not for something so slight. Ye’re safe here.”
Mazey shifted in the bed, trying to think of a way out of the conversation. She couldn’t tell him anything. “Ah dunno what to say,” she squeaked.
“Say the truth, lass. There’s no harm in it.
Ah’ll not speak a word to another soul. ’Twill be good for ye to get it out in the open, ah promise.
Ye hinted at it when ah first talked to ye that night with Lara.
Ye showed me the bruises, but ye never spoke.
” His eyes looked steely grey in the firelight.
She felt something more when she looked into his eyes, a surge of hope.
It left her with a haunting echo in her heart.
“Ah’ve learned over time that hurt and pain are best put away after ye bring them into the light. Speak truth to me.”
“Ah’ll tell ye some. Ah don’t think ye could ever look at me the same were ah to tell ye everything.” A cold chill passed through her.
Baile reached over and tilted her chin up to look him in the eyes once more.
When his hand brushed her skin, she felt an odd pulse in her body.
She wondered what it would feel like with his hands all over her.
Panic forced her to shake the thought out of her head.
She must be mad. “Ah’ll never look at ye any different because of yer past. It was in the past. Ah’ve not come as far as ah have in this life to think every person has the same story.
Many of my friends have woes and worries that would leave ye speechless. ”