Chapter 7 #4
Siusan nodded enthusiastically while she took bread and fruit Mazey offered her and gulped it down. It was too early for her to go to bed, but Mazey had nothing else to entertain the girl.
“My Laird, would ye mind if ah took Siusan out with me to the beach? Ah would love to get some shells to take back to my children. And then ah’ll feed her again and get her tucked in bed.
Mazey and ye haven’t eaten yet, but ah packed up a basket here with food.
Ye could both go check on the lines and eat the supper overlooking the cliffs. ”
Baile smiled appreciatively at Gilla and nodded. “Thank ye Gilla. Very thoughtful.”
Gilla handed a basket of food to Baile and took Siusan by the hand. “Would ye help me find some pretty shells?” Siusan squealed and pulled Gilla in tow with her towards the water.
They walked toward the cliffs with the basket Gilla packed. “Ah haven’t seen yer guardsmen much since we arrived. Ah wonder what they’re up to?”
“They know ah need a break with my girl. They’re respecting me in their own way. Probably won’t be back until after we’re asleep again. ’Tis why ah picked these men in particular. Every one of em has a good head on their shoulders. Loyal—almost to a fault.”
“Ah like this place. ’Tis peaceful and calm. Ah don’t know that ah have ever felt so at ease.”
“Aye, ah love this place. The water is soothing when the chaos of life takes its toll on ye.” The waves lapped higher than before and got their feet wet. It was refreshing.
“What in your life is chaotic?” She hoped she wasn’t overstepping.
“We must have negotiations soon with the Murray’s for trade establishment and ah’m not sure what they offer.
The trade is essential for maintaining the peace between the clans.
If ye benefit each other, ye war less. But it may hit out clan harder than ah expect if they have little to offer to trade.
They are a large clan, but not as large as the McDonalls or the McClouds.
Ah don’t wanna lose the current trades we have. ”
Men rarely talked to women about things such as politics. “Is there any way to keep the trades, but maybe make slightly smaller trades to spread that out with the Murrays?” She figured her suggestion was na?ve and uninformed. He probably already thought of every solution. He was a clever man.
“Aye, I can do it. That’s what we did with some smaller clans we took on.
We trade with them until they are reliant on us for what they need, then they give us more loyalty than a larger clan.
The only problem is that the Murrays are efficient in business.
Despite being smaller, they have many resources.
” He paused for a minute, twirling something small in his fingers.
Mazey couldn’t tell what it was. “Ye’ve got a good head on yer shoulders, ye know.
That is a great idea. Thank ye for the suggestion. ”
Mazey appreciated the compliment, but it was undeserved. “Ah’m sure ye already thought of it. Ah spoke out of turn.”
“Ah’ll be honest, ah’ve thought of the idea before, but for ye to come up with it so quickly is impressive. It’s the best idea ah’ve had, and probably what ah will end up doing.” Impressive wasn’t ever used to describer her before.
Her feelings of contentment brought back the memories of the night before and Baile’s kisses.
Hume rarely kissed her. When he did, it was wet and sloppy.
Something of utmost importance weighed on her mind.
What did she feel for Baile? That wasn’t an easy answer.
She felt fearful. He was a man and her experience with men wasn’t the best, although he gave her so much.
Part of her felt a warm, melting sensation in the general location of her heart.
Maybe the ice from a terrible past relationship could melt away with the heat from a better one.
Perhaps she was too broken for anyone to love her.
She didn’t realize she sighed until she felt eyes on her. “Where were ye just now? Ye travel to a lot of places.”
She smiled back at his comment. “Ah’m always traveling with my thoughts. Ah’ve had a lot of solitude. My thoughts have become my best friend, my constant companions.”
“Ah don’t mind if ye tell me about yer thoughts.”
She struggled to word the emotions that flowed so deeply inside of her. “Do ye think if ye’re broken, ye can’t be loved again? Do ye think there is any salvation for a damaged person?” The words echoed against the emptiness.
Baile didn’t answer, he walked in silence, twirling that small something in his fingers.
“Ah think everyone can be loved, but ye have to choose it every day. Ye have to allow it. And ah think for broken people, being loved is a very difficult choice. Ye decide ye’re worth it, perhaps ye even deserve it.
Do ye see yerself as worth being loved?”
It was such a simple question, but loaded with a million other questions. She wanted to say yes, wholeheartedly. She knew it wouldn’t be honest. “Ah dunno,” she replied softly.
Baile put his hand on her back, rubbing slowly back and forth.
“And that is where ye have to start. Ye can’t love anyone else fully until ye decide ye deserve it.
So work on that and ask yerself that question every day.
So really, lass, it isn’t if ah can ever love ye or what ye can do for me.
The question ye need to wonder about is if ye’re capable of accepting real love. ”
She shuddered and blamed it on the cold, but really, she knew it was her heart that was cold and frozen. She needed to warm all the icy parts.
They checked, but the bait lines were empty. The sun set when they found a quiet spot overlooking the ocean. The view was breathtaking. Down below them, the waves broke against jagged rocks. The dark blue ocean went on forever.
“This is the most beautiful place ah’ve ever seen,” Mazey laid out the blanket Gilla packed for them.
“Aye, the most beautiful place in Scotland.”
Gilla packed enough food to satisfy them. Then they sat together and watched the stars appear. Baile reached over and took Mazey’s hand. He tugged her gently over to sit next to him and draped his arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on his shoulder. This was the most content she ever was.
“Thank ye.” She whispered.
“For what?” Baile asked.
“For this life. For letting me care for Siusan. For the way ye treat me. For the kisses and the way ye look at me. For everything.”
Baile pulled away from her and caught her eyes with his. “Ye need not thank me. Ah’m just as grateful for ye.”
“Will ye kiss me again?” She felt bold.
He said nothing, but looked deep in her eyes.
When he leaned in, she thought he would kiss her.
She closed her eyes, her lips parted. Warm lips trailed from her collarbone up to her neck.
He nibbled delicately on her ear. His scruffy beard tickled her.
She ran her hands down his waist and pulled him to the blanket with her.
He groaned as she reached down and grabbed his erect shaft with her hands, rubbing up and down.
He wanted her. His hands moved down to her legs and pulled her skirt up over her hips.
She arched her back in anticipation. He didn’t thrust himself inside her.
He kissed her thighs, then the crease between her legs.
His tongue found a spot so sensitive she cried out.
Baile grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his neck, rolling his tongue over her while she moaned as waves of pleasure coursed through her.
She felt her body tighten and a final wave crested inside of her.
The most amazing feeling she could imagine tore through her.
Her toes curled and she couldn’t believe the way her body throbbed.
Warmth engulfed her and Baile came back to her side, putting his arms around her, protectively.
“Ye didn’t take long, lass.”
“What was that feeling?” she asked him sheepishly.
He propped himself up with his elbow, a sad expression carved into his face. “Ah would guess ye’d never felt it before. Ye deserve that every day. Any time ye lie with yer lover ye should feel that.”
Astonishment and disbelief crowded in her mind. She missed out on that much? It never felt like that with Hume. Baile kissed her again and helped her to her feet. “Best be getting back, love.”
“What about ye? Ye didn’t satisfy yerself.”
He took her by the hand and led her to the cottage. “Yer wrong. Ah am very satisfied.”