Chapter 9
The halls were quiet when she left. Not a soul awake inside the keep. She knew there would be guards outside, but since the trade agreements ended, there weren’t as many people on guard. It took her a while to save up enough supplies to leave and decide the best route out of the town.
She snuck out with a pack attached to her back.
There was one main gate to leave through and she knew there would be guards there, but she could come up with something to fool them.
As she approached, she took in a nervous breath.
Gohrich. She found no luck. He would be the most difficult to convince.
“Mazey,” he called out as she approached.
“Gohrich, it’s good to see ye.” She giggled nervously which only heightened her anxiety.
“What’re ye doing out so late? Baile would have my head if ye got hurt. Ye know bad things happen to women who travel alone. Are ye headed to the village?” He glanced at the pack on her back and she knew she was in trouble.
She groaned as if in pain and breathed shallowly. “Aye, headed to the village. Cohlm is there and ah need his help. Ah’m about to have my bairn.”
The guard looked nervous and moved out of her way. “Are ye sure ye should be alone though? Surely Baile wouldn’t like that.”
She thought quickly, trying to figure out what to say. “Aye, but it’s late. Nobody was ready to go. Ah asked to go by myself.” She let out another groan and panted for dramatic effect. Her plan worked brilliantly, and he moved aside.
“Ah’ll let Baile know ye made it through and ye’re headed to town. Would ye like me to escort ye?”
Mazey hoped he would stop trying to be helpful. “Nay, ah’m fine. Please don’t bother Baile. He already knows ah’m headed to the village. Probably went back to sleep already.”
The guard nodded, but his eyes narrowed.
She couldn’t waste time. She pushed past him and walked towards the village.
Once she was out of eyesight, she veered left and headed away from the village and the keep.
Her goal was to reach the wood before dawn so she could find shelter and rest during the hottest part of the day.
She ran her plan over and over in her head as she walked.
She would stay the night in the forest, then walk as far as she could to the neighboring town before stopping for the day again.
This was the right thing to do. She needed get away from Baile before she hurt him.
She couldn’t love how he deserved, and she knew he would never abandon her.
He would sacrifice his entire life and happiness to be with her even if she could never be his wife.
Even if she was never emotionally sound.
The responsibility of his happiness was a terrifying reality she couldn’t handle.
The rhythm of her pace and breathing were soothing and quieted the hectic chaos in her mind.
She let the monotony lull her into a daze while she marched on.
The baby kicked and squirmed every once in a while, but mostly rested.
She walked for hours—sipped water when needed and rested when tired.
Just when she thought she wouldn’t make it another step, the light of dawn broke over the horizon.
The air grew cold and crisp and the sunlight created subtle hues of grey and orange.
She could see better now. She almost reached the forest. She was north of where she wanted to go, so adjusted her course and walked to the tree line.
She tied a piece of square canvas to the base of a tree and staked the other side down into the ground.
It was crude, but would keep the sun off her and provide her with some shelter.
She put a blanket on the rough earth and fell asleep under the shade of her makeshift tent.
Mazey’s back ached from sleeping on the dirt.
She got up, slowly packed up the fabric and grabbed some bread and a piece of dried fruit.
It was bright outside, but she couldn’t stay here any longer and the sooner she got to the neighboring town the better.
She could have her child any day now and needed to be somewhere safe before the labor pains hit.
Her resolve wavered when she thought about having her bairn alone, but then she remembered Baile saying he loved her and would stay with her even if she could never love him back.
She didn’t want that for him. More than anything, she hoped for him to be happy.
Were she out of the picture, he could find himself a bonnie lass with a large dowry, or at least a beautiful face.
Part of her ached when she thought about him being with someone else, but she knew it was for the best. He deserved better than a nobody widow and a bastard child.
She continued—stopped only when necessary and hydrated along the way.
The journey was long, but she hoped to arrive before dawn the next day.
The distance would have been so much easier should she own a horse, but she was far too poor.
As eager as she was to get away, she couldn’t justify stealing a horse, even if it got returned later.
The sun set and the stars came out one at a time, then all at once.
The nights were getting far too cold for her taste.
Snow would set in and was her least favorite time of the year. Her breath showed in the night air.
She drank another sip of water, the cold liquid flowing down her throat.
She was almost out of water. She’d never travelled this road before and didn’t know the closest stream and she dare not wander off the path, for fear of losing her way.
The few people she talked to in the keep for directions and advice hadn’t told her about streams. She thought the water she packed was enough.
Panic flooded through her and her hands and feet went cold.
If she kept walking through the night without water would the child be okay?
She hoped she hadn’t just doomed her bairn to a fated death or illness because of her ill planning.
The sweet lilt of her mother’s voice played out in her head like a song.
Ye’re going to be okay. Don’t cry. Just get back up, dust off yer dress and put one foot in front of another.
She repeated the words out loud while she walked. “Ah’m gonna be okay. Ah don’t need to cry. Ah’m gonna get back up, dust off my dress and put one foot in front of the other.”
The only thing she could do was walk, so she did.
She put one foot in front of the other, trying to lose herself in the rhythms of her breath and feet once again, but the niggling worry in the back of her mind never settled or allowed her to stop worrying something would happen to her bairn.
She took a deep steadying breath. Surely she would be okay.
This was a small trial before she got to the neighboring town and started a new life for herself.
Perhaps she could clean clothing for people.
She continued her journey. Every step she took was a step closer to her new home, and a step farther away from the man who loved her.
It must be close to morning. The moon was still in the sky, but that meant nothing this late in the season.
Mazey wished she paid better attention to the moon’s position while in the keep.
All she wanted to know was how much longer this walk would be.
Someone told her it would take her 18 hours of walking to get to the village, but that was when you walked at a normal pace.
Her pace was anything but normal. She stopped to pee constantly and her muscles tired after only a little walking.
Her usually wide stride became a waddle.
She felt thirsty. Plus, she kept feeling this odd cramp in her lower back which bothered her terribly.
It would go away for a while but then come back again. She had it. It was too far.
She would have been smarter to walk during the day, she decided. She walked at night just in case Baile came looking for her. He was less likely to find her at night. But he hadn’t come. She was a servant, nothing more. Perhaps he wouldn’t miss her. He said he loved her, but Hume said it too.
She cursed aloud to the empty night sky and stopped, taking in a deep breath and exhaling very slow.
Her feet ached. That pain in her back was so persistent.
The darkness was thick and the road difficult to see.
Earlier, she saw a few trees scattered, but closer to the road felt more safe.
She laid the canvas down on the ground and fell asleep on the side of the road.
She hoped to be safe from marauders or bandits, but knowing her luck she would run into a whole band of them.
The sun was midway in the sky when she woke.
The pain tore through her like a knife. Her back was so sore she could hardly sit still.
She rubbed it gingerly, but it did nothing to ease the waves of pain.
She already was without water for at least 14 hours judging by the sun’s position, if not longer.
Being with child and out in the sun would quickly deplete her and could cause problems she wouldn’t be able to deal with on her own. I can do this.