Chapter 19
Willa
Carter gets up and heads to the bathroom, and their fake smiles disappear.
“See? He’s not so bad once you give him a chance.”
The three of them roll their eyes at me.
“Are you really not hooking up with him?” Alex eyes me to get the truth out. “I told Luca I’d keep an eye on you.”
“No, I’m not.” The guilt is eating me up, but it’s not a complete lie. We had sex one time. That doesn’t count.
“And what about Hines?” Finn jumps in. “He’s even worse.”
“What do you have against Chris Hines?” Kandi steps in to help me out.
“I just don’t like him.” Finn looks away, hiding something.
“Uh, huh.” Kandi folds her arms over her chest, but Alex nods in agreement.
“So much worse.”
Well, at least they’re warming up to Carter. A year ago, they would’ve said Carter was the worst there ever was.
“I had no intention of calling him. He gave me his number, but I’m not at all interested.” That’s three guys on the team that all warned me against Hines. With how intense Carter was about it, I deleted his contact the next day.
“You’re acting weird tonight.” Kandi pats my hand with her blue nail to get my attention. “Carter is fine. You don’t have to act any differently so that we like him. This is the first time I’ve seen you out of leggings in months.”
“I’m not.” I frown and look at the guys to see them nodding in agreement.
“You’ve barely touched your nachos, and you’re being quiet.”
“Is it Carter?” Alex nods.
“No, it’s not Carter.” I lower my voice and look around. The place is filled with locals tonight and a few tables of students that are not close enough to hear us.
“Ya shouldn’t be changin’ yerself for a man.” Finn’s accent is slipping in the angrier he gets and the more he drinks.
“But I have changed,” I shout, tired of their questioning me. “I changed myself for Vic. For three years, I was wearing what he wanted. Short skirts that were not short enough. I hated them, but my closet is full of them. This time, I’m changing for me. I wore leggings and sweatshirts, because I couldn’t bear to wear those tight skirts he likes. I bought these jeans because I liked them. I’m not wearing them for anyone other than myself. And what’s wrong with changing myself? I’m not going to find a decent guy by stuffing my face with nachos and cursing at the TV.”
Feeling dejected, I cram a few chips in my mouth and concentrate on the game, just as Luca is heavily checked and a call is made against him.
“What the fuck kind of call is that?” I cover my mouth to stop the tiny pieces from flying out.
Three sets of eyes are smiling at me as I do.
“We’re just trying to look out for you.” Kandi rubs my arm.
“I’m ok, and it has nothing to do with Carter.”
“What has nothing to do with me?” Carter comes and sits back down next to me at the worst time.
“Nothing.” I try to laugh it off.
“That’s bullshit. If you’re talking about me, I’d like to know.” His jaw ticks and his eyebrows furrow as he puts his phone in his pocket.
“Relax, we weren’t talking about you,” Alex jumps in.
“No, just casually dropping my name in a conversation while I step away from the table.” He snaps.
“Carter, we weren’t.” I shake my head and reach out to touch his arm, but he pulls it away.
“I have to go anyway.” He pulls out his wallet and throws a fifty on the table for his share of nachos and water.
“That’s too much, but stay. Please,” I beg him to stop. “We weren’t talking about you.”
“Nah, I’m sick of this.” He pulls on his coat. “I have to take care of something anyway.”
His phone falls out, and I catch a glimpse of a text from his mom, telling him not to come home.
The guys angrily roll their eyes.
“I’m going too.” I hop off my stool and grab my coat.
“Willa, just let him go.” Kandi stops me from leaving.
“It’s not…” I sigh and rub my eyes. “I’m tired. It’s been a long day, and I just want to go lie down.” And stop Carter from getting the shit beat out of him. “It’s ok. Thanks, guys.”
I run after Carter before he can leave without me. Hopping with my clunky boot, as fast as I can go.
“Carter, wait up.” I call out to him once I’m out the front doors.
“What are you doing?” He whips around to see me. “Go back inside.”
“You’re my ride. You’re taking me home.” I follow him to his car.
“Kandi lives next to you. Go be with your friends.” The word friends sounded like a curse spewing out of his mouth. “I have shit to do, and your house is out of my way.”
“I want to go home.” I pick up the pace so he can’t leave without me. “You brought me here, so you’re responsible for taking me home.”
“Willa,” he stops at the rear of his car to face me, “I’m not taking you home.”
“Then I’m going wherever you are.” I brush past him to the front door, but he stops me from opening it with a soft push of his hand against my waist.
“We had a fun ride, but you have your friends. You don’t need me anymore.” He stands against the door to stop me. “No one wants me in there or around you.”
“I do.” I stand my ground to show him I’m not leaving. He can push all he wants. I’m not leaving.
“I don’t want to be around you when you’re like that,” he yells out, pointing to the restaurant. But immediately stops himself by running his hand through his dark chestnut hair.
“Yeah, they didn’t like me like that either.” I guess no one likes the new me I was trying to be.
“What?” he snaps and rises from leaning against his car door.
“I was trying something new. We weren’t talking about you. They were calling me out for acting differently, and thought it was because of you.”
“That’s bullshit.” He sneers, looking out at the doors.
“Do I look that bad?” I look down at my ripped jeans and baggy sweater under my puffy coat. I thought it looked cute when I got dressed.
“No.” Carter raises my chin and tucks my short hair behind my ears. “You look great, but you were being so quiet and eating like a fucking dainty princess. I’m surprised you didn’t use a fork to eat your nachos.” I laugh and relax at his compliment. “That’s not you.”
“They said the same thing.”
“Do you want me to kick their asses?” He lets go of my face.
“What? No.” I grab his arms to stop him from walking back.
“I don’t like that they were talking bad about you. Me, I can handle, but I’ll fuck them up for saying that about you.”
“Stop.” I hold him back. “They weren’t saying it in a bad way. They were concerned because I was acting weird. I spent the last three years being Vic’s girl, Luca’s chick friend, or that hockey bitch. Now, I’m no one. I’m not Vic’s girl. Luca is gone, and I can’t play hockey either.”
“You’re a badass coach.” He raises my chin again with his knuckle. “And you’re Willa. Just be yourself.”
“I don’t know who that is anymore. I don’t know myself.” I let that sink in. I have no idea who I am. I was always about playing hockey. I gave it my life, and then I gave those other pieces of myself to Vic.
He consumed every other part of me. I don’t know who I am without him. Even if I still have hockey, who am I outside that rink?
“Do you want to go back inside?” Carter bends down to get eye level and checks my face for a response.
“Are you going to leave? I’m not letting you go get your ass kicked.” I punch his shoulder, annoyed that he was planning to go home, knowing he’d get hit. If he wants someone to beat his ass, I’d gladly do it. At least I won’t hurt him.
Carter laughs and licks his teeth, avoiding my eyes so he can try to lie, but I rise on my toes so he can’t look away.
“You’re on to me.”
“I saw your phone.” I widen my stance to block him from running if he tries.
“Fine, I won’t go.” He shrugs like it’s not killing him to stay. “Shall we go eat some cold, soggy nachos if they’re still there?”
My face scrunches up as I look back at the restaurant. “I’m hungry, but I don’t want to go back inside. Those nachos were gross.”
Carter laughs and shakes his head. “C’mon, our restaurant is still open if you’re up for a walk.”
“Yes, sir.” I slip my arm through his and let him lead the way to the best damn tacos in town.
I’m more nervous than the guys are as they come out to the ice for warmups. It’s my first game as a coach on the team and if something goes wrong, it’ll be my fault.
If we don’t win, it’ll somehow be blamed on me. Everyone is already questioning Coach Renan about his decision to hire me.
“What are you so nervous about?” Carter skates over to the bench where I’m standing. “It’s not like you have to play.”
“What if you guys lose?” I wring my fingers together.
“Then we lose.” He shrugs. “It’s not your fault our goalie sucks.”
“Fuck you, Carter.” Our goalie, Reed, flips him off as he skates past.
Reed isn’t the best. He’s been the backup for the past three years and hasn’t shown any interest in caring or getting drafted.
“Reed isn’t that bad,” I say while looking out at the team, watching them warm up and stretch.
“You could save more pucks in that boot than he could in the net.” Carter grins at his own loud joke while Reed glares at him.
“Go warm up. Stop distracting me.” I push Carter away.
“Yes, boss.”
Feeling eyes on me, I look out into the stands and notice Kandi sitting with a few Delta Nus watching the game. I wave to her and she smiles back before showing off the jersey she’s wearing. My Drexton Hall Husky jersey. At least I have their support, but I have eyes on me from all different directions and most of them are the Drexton Hall board members who are not happy that Coach Renan hired me.
I keep looking at the crowd, and get pulled about midway up the stands. Chills run down my spine at the man looking down at me. Eyes that look too familiar under the same shaped eyebrows and dark chestnut hair that’s slicked back.
Quickly, I turn away and find Carter on one knee, stretching out his leg on the blue line. He looks up and smirks at me. He looks just like his father, but one thing his father was missing is the soft creases and spark in his eye. Carter doesn’t have that same cruel, hard manner in his appearance. They look the same, but are completely different.
The team is down by one as we enter the third period.
I’ve been nervously quiet, but watching them slack off is frustrating.
The team sluggishly jumps over the wall for a line change.
“Quick change. Quick change.” I clap for them to wake up. “Get your lazy asses on that ice.”
The whistle is blown for icing and the play stops.
“Hey blondie,” a guy from the other team calls from the ice as my team huddles with Coach Renan. “Blondie,” he calls again to get my attention. “Do you shower with the team, too?”
My head whips around to glare at him, but Carter jumps off the bench in front of me. The ref is calling for the start of the play, and everyone lines up for the puck to drop. but Carter flies out.
As soon as the puck hits the ice, he throws his stick down and pushes the guy hard in the chest.
“Fuck,” Coach Renan groans. “Pierce.”
The guy comes right back up and Carter throws his gloves down. The other team jumps in to protect their teammate and the rest of the Huskies do the same to fight back.
Carter grapples the guy to the ground until the refs break them apart and send them both to the penalty box.
“Dammit, Carter,” I curse under my breath. I’m pissed at what that guy said, but getting a penalty when we’re down by one point is a death sentence for us.
Across the ice, Carter is spewing in the sin bin with his leg shaking.
Our eyes meet, and I shake my head in disappointment. He’s playing with his emotions and not thinking of his team. He’s better than that.
As soon as their two minutes are up, Carter peels out of the box to chase the puck. But the other guy coming out is doing the same.
“Change. Change,” Coach Renan yells, but it’s too late.
Carter tries to stop him, but the other player wraps his skate around Carter’s outstretched stick. The whistle. Two minutes on Carter for tripping.
Frustrations are high and another goal is let in. We lose three to one.
“That guy wrapped his fucking skate around my stick on purpose,” Carter grumbles as we head off to the locker room. “It was a bullshit call.”
The team files in with their heads hanging low. It was a horrible game and an even worse loss. The Frozen Four is just around the corner and it will be a miracle if they make it, playing the way they did tonight.
“Bullshit refs need to open their eyes,” Carter mutters beside me. “He should’ve been kicked out for the shit he said to you.”
That’s it.
“Coach’s office, now.” I grab Carter’s elbow and steer him from the locker room.
It’s time he takes responsibility for his actions.
Coach Renan is sitting at his desk when I push Carter in. He sits back and eyes us when I shut the door.
“Your penalties cost us the game.” I come around and sit on the desk. “Your actions cost your team the game.”
“I was defending you.” Carter glares at me. “That guy purposely tripped over my stick.”
“You were playing with your emotions and he took advantage of that.” I stand up to him. Carter towers over me in his skates, but I’m not backing down. “Are you going to fight every guy that makes a comment at the female coach? Those penalties were called because of your actions. Actions that led to another goal and cost us the game.” My voice rises with my anger. “Play smart, and don’t let a childish comment rile you up! Penalties do not win games! You let your team down.”
He looks from me to Coach.
“You let me down.”
His gaze snaps to mine. His fists clench at his sides and his dark brows furrow over his dark russet eyes. He’s ready to blow, and I get nervous, but I’m not backing down on this.
“Cool down and get cleaned up,” I order before he snaps.
Carter slams the door behind him, and my body quivers.
I may have gone too far and I may have overstepped my role.
“I’m sorry, Coach.”
“For what?” Coach Renan smiles at me. “You did the right thing. Best thing you can do to earn their respect is tell them how it is. You did good, Coach Tomlin.”
I shake off my unease and head out to wait. I was doing my job, but fighting with a friend never feels good.
Inside that arena, I’m his coach, but I hope outside we can still be friends.
I don’t want to lose him.