Creatures and Creature Comforts Lizzie
CREATURES AND CREATURE COMFORTS
Lizzie
FEbrUARY 22, 1998
I ALWAYS FELT AT MY BEST WHEN I SPENT TIME AT C LAIRE AND H UGH’S PLACE . I T didn’t matter what games we played or what delicious meal Sinead served for dinner. Their home felt like a real home, and it was the only place I could go to escape the bad dreams. When I stayed at their house, I could relax.
I could breathe .
Today was no different, except for the fact that I was supposed to be across the street attending Gibsie’s tenth birthday party. Instead, I had crept back to number four and was currently curled up in a ball on Hugh’s bed.
Everything about Hugh’s bedroom was comforting—his bed, his desk, the pictures hanging on the walls, the books he read that were piled on top of his nightstand, and even the scent of the washing powder his mother used on his sheets.
I loved Gibsie, he was one of my greatest friends in the world, but sometimes his house reminded me of mine, and I didn’t want to be there, either.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” Hugh stood in his bedroom doorway with a smile etched on his face. “You just missed the funniest thing ever, Liz,” he told me, eyes dancing with excitement. “Danny Call just got a whole chunk taken out of his ankle, courtesy of Brian.” Snickering to himself, Hugh padded over to his bed and flopped down next to me. “You should’ve heard him scream.”
“That feral feline belongs in a zoo,” I mused. “I don’t care what Sadhbh says about him being part Persian, because I swear, he’s part albino tiger.”
“He’s part demon is what he is,” Hugh corrected with a chuckle. “He escaped out the back door and terrorized all the lads. Everyone’s scratched to shit from trying to catch him.” Another hearty laugh escaped him. “Gibs and Claire are outside now trying to attach a leash to his collar to coax him back into the house.”
“Then I’m glad I missed it,” I replied. “Because if that beast bit me, I’d bite him back.”
“Don’t you mean to say you’d bite him again ?” Hugh teased, nudging my shoulder.
“Hey! I only did that because he bit my ear first and wouldn’t let go until I returned the favor,” I defended, unable to stop my smile from spreading or my heart from fluttering when he took my hand in his. “You know how the saying goes, Hugh.” Grinning, I shrugged. “Play stupid games.”
“And win stupid prizes,” Hugh finished for me, still chuckling as he entwined his fingers with mine. “Yeah, well, I reckon Brian will think twice before he takes you on again.”
“As he should,” I laughed. “Did he get you?”
“Nah.” Hugh smiled at me. “I’m too fast.”
“You mean you’re too clever to go anywhere near him.”
“That, too,” Hugh replied, sighing in amusement before his smile quickly morphed into a frown. “Oh shit.” Untangling our joined hands, Hugh turned my hand over and stared at my wrist. His eyes darkened when he trailed his finger over the recently scabbed-over jagged line. “Did Brian get you again?” His concerned, brown eyes flicked to mine. “Is that why you left the party?”
No . “Yeah.” Repressing a shiver, I slid my hand from his and pushed my sleeve down. Pulling myself into a sitting position, I clasped my hands together and shrugged. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Liz,” he replied, turning his body to face me. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes still held the world of concern in them. “Do you want my mam to have a look at that scratch? It looks fairly deep.”
“Nah, I’ll be grand.” Anxious, I reached up and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I can’t even feel it.”
Hugh stared at me for a long time before recapturing my hand in his. “What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“You look scared.” His eyes searched mine. “You’re not telling me something.”
“I’m fine.” Smiling, I forced a laugh, but it was a weak attempt. “Honestly, I’m grand, Hugh.”
He didn’t look convinced. “Talk to me.”
I couldn’t.
Oh God, I wanted to.
But I just couldn’t .
“Did one of the lads say something to you?” he asked then, shoulders tensing. “At the party? Was someone being a dick?”
“No.”
“Then why do you look like you’re two seconds away from crying?”
“I don’t.” Tears filled my eyes. “I’m not.”
“Liz, come on.” He gave me a disbelieving look. “It’s me .”
“I’m just…” Shaking my head, I blew out a pained breath before muttering, “It doesn’t matter.”
“If something is upsetting you, then it matters,” he replied, keeping his whiskey-brown eyes locked on mine. “It matters a lot to me.”
“I…” I opened my mouth to answer him but all that came out was a shaky breath, because what could I tell him?
That I was plagued by the monsters my own imagination had conjured up to terrorize me?
That I was tormented by sickening images and horrendous thoughts that made me want to die?
Or how about telling him that I was filthy, impure, and defective?
Which one was I supposed to tell him about?
Which sin would be the one that drove him away?
“I’m just having a bad day,” I finally settled on.
Hugh looked at me like he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t push. Instead, he squeezed my hand and whispered, “I love you, Lizzie Young.”
Guilt and hope bloomed in my chest, making me feel both excited and devastated all at once. “No matter what?”
“Yeah, Liz.” He leaned in close and pressed his forehead to mine. “No matter what.”