CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
It turned out that the barkeep was also the tavern owner.
His small home abutted the back of the building, where he lived with his wife, a sweet lady with graying black hair and crooked teeth, their two teen sons, and their three cats, Vergal, Stergal, and Clide.
Clide took a particular fancy to Ilain the moment she walked into the house.
The brown tabby even slipped into the bedroom before they could shut the door.
It was to be expected. Cats loved Ilain.
“Sit,” Ilain ordered Ethenn, pointing to the old bed.
While he did as instructed, Ilain took quick stock of the room.
Cramped, with a bed, wardrobe, vanity, and dresser—all of simple wooden make—there was hardly enough space to move around.
Lorn and Nance, the tavern owner and his wife, would sleep in their sons’ room while the boys sprawled in the parlor, thanks to Ethenn’s deal.
Nance was understanding and even approving once she heard the conditions.
Ethenn paid more than handsomely for a straw-stuffed mattress and threadbare blankets.
Once she’d completed her inspection, Ilain sat next to Ethenn, and Clide the cat jumped onto the blue and yellow quilt at her side.
Jaw tight, Ethenn kept his gaze averted even as she took his face in her hands to examine his injuries.
He’d donned one of his spare shirts, leaving it hanging loose over his trousers.
“Well,” she said tersely, “beyond the split lip, bloodied nose, extensive bruising, bloodshot left eye, and mental psychosis, nothing much seems to be the matter with you.”
Ethenn flinched as she prodded his bruised temple. “What’s a psychosis?” he asked.
A short chuckle slipped out of her. “I always forget you grew up in a small town.” She reset her hands over his injuries and then closed her eyes, preparing to summon Day.
It was harder at night to find that deep connection inside of her.
Most Elemental Mages wouldn’t be able to do it at all.
But by Allore’s design, she’d been born stronger than any Mage since before Ephren split their countries. And she had Auden as a brother.
“It’s gentle,” Auden had taught her. “So many people think Fire and Day are similar because they’re both bright. But Fire is intense, fierce, and powerful—like you. Day is a quiet warmth, like Mum’s fresh bread or the sun on a misty morning. It calms and soothes. It gives you life.”
Reaching into her core, Ilain found the gentle part of herself.
It was small, fragile, and rarely seen. She’d locked it away when she was only ten, taken from her mum and da for the Order of the Flame’s tower in Doorstunds Reach.
The Fire Mages didn’t prize gentility. Being a soft woman was a fault in those halls.
So she’d become strong, unyielding, and proud.
And it had earned her the second-highest rank in the Order.
Ethenn gasped as the Day magic flared, easing the internal pressure surrounding his brain. When she opened her eyes, the rest of his wounds were gone, too, but his expression radiated agitation.
“I may be a town boy,” he said tightly, “but that doesn’t mean I’m uneducated.”
Ilain raised her brow. “Did I say you were?”
He turned away, but she caught his jaw in her hand and forced him to face her. “You got to say your piece before,” she said in a fierce, hushed tone. “Now, I get to say mine.”
She could feel the tension of his clenched teeth in her grip, but he gave a permissible nod.
“First,” Ilain released him and let Clide climb onto her lap, “a psychosis is a mental condition that drives people to behave in unnatural ways.”
Ethenn huffed in self-derision. “So it’s magic,” he concluded.
She smirked without humor. “Not in the slightest.”
Weaving her fingers into Clide’s soft brown fur, Ilain held Ethenn’s stare. “What did Thom tell you this morning?”
Ethenn’s jaw flexed. “To bed you.”
Ilain blew out an annoyed breath. “Well, I certainly didn’t ask for that.”
“What did you ask for?”
“A kiss,” she said quietly. “That’s all. And now, you’ve provided that, so I suppose I can accept it as enough.”
A long silence passed between them as Ilain studied his impassive expression. She was angry with him. Not because he’d stupidly let himself get beaten up for a bed or because he’d kissed her so abruptly as he sought to stir his magic for the fight. Because he was baffling.
For Ilain’s whole life, she’d dreamed of finding a Warrior like him. One who could match her in heart, power, and will. Ethenn might be young, and he might be less educated, but he was clever. He was stubborn. He was strong. And he was far more passionate than the people around him realized.
She’d seen it the first day they met. She saw it in the intensity of his deep brown stare, a stirring heating the depths of his soul.
He was like a fire in a hearth: contained yet waiting to be unleashed.
And she’d known then that she would have to be very careful with her heart around this handsome young man, lest she lose herself to a man without magic.
Ilain couldn’t be with a non-magical man.
She’d prepared too long and worked too hard to become the Highlady Chancellor of Doorstunds Reach.
It was her responsibility. The Alliance was counting on her and her power to help guide their nation into what it should be.
She had to marry a Warrior. That was that.
She’d initially protected her heart from Ethenn despite her growing attraction to him.
And then he’d proved to be the bloody Warrior of her dreams. It’d been too late to explain her heart to him at that point, not after all her foolish choices.
But when she’d seen him with Ivry Doyle, the Water Mage, and he’d admitted wanting to Bond, she couldn’t refrain from acting.
He’d admitted his love for Ilain. Perhaps she couldn’t explain herself, but she could have him, she reasoned.
And eventually, he would see her heart through her actions.
Yet, still, he held her at arm’s length, refusing to know her or to let her know him.
Well, she’d bare her soul now whether he wanted her to or not.
“I’m scared, Ethenn,” Ilain whispered.
He looked up at her admission, brow furrowed.
She held his dark gaze unflinchingly. “I’m afraid that you’re going to do to me what Evylin did to Jonn,” she confessed.
“That you’re holding yourself back from me because you don’t trust me.
I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m not what you want and leave me because of it.
I’m not asking you to bed me. But I am asking that you consider treating me like your wife—loving me like your wife rather than just as a woman for whom you harbor an infatuation. ”
Ethenn sucked in a sharp breath, and his features pinched in confusion. “Ilain—” He paused, wet his lips, and began again. “I’m not sure how to do that.”
“You could start by being a little sweeter to me,” she said with a playful grin. “Maybe telling me how pretty I am.”
“You’re not pretty,” he said, and his expression softened. “You’re stunning.”
Ilain’s smile grew bashful, but she forced herself to hold his stare. “And I know touching is difficult for you, but . . . perhaps you could hold me sometime?”
Without hesitation, Ethenn reached over and scooped Clide off her lap. The cat let out a disgruntled “mew” when he plopped on the ground. Then Ethenn wrapped his arm around her waist and startled her by pulling her onto his lap.
Ilain’s breath caught. She wasn’t altogether sure what to do with her hands, so she clasped them on her skirts, which bunched around her legs. “And not tonight,” she murmured, their faces mere inches from one another, “but eventually, you should probably make love to me.”
Ethenn’s lips twitched with a smirk. “Would you like to schedule it?” he offered.
“I’d prefer spontaneity.”
“Mm.” He brushed his thumb along the base of her spine, sending a flare of warm magic up her back.
His gaze shifted to the room beyond her, a blush spreading at his collar.
“Well, to be honest,” he whispered tensely, “I imagined our first time together being a bit more romantic than in a random inn or barkeep’s house along our journey. ”
Ilain knew there were more important things to discuss, but she tilted her head, stuck on the thought. “You’ve imagined our first time?” she asked.
He chuckled nervously. “I’m a man, Ilain. I’ve imagined our first hundred times.”
“I see.” Somehow emboldened by his bashfulness, she draped her arms around his neck. “And where have you imagined this union taking place?”
A small smile softened his whole demeanor, though his muscles were tight, and he still wouldn’t look at her.
“In Estshire, there’s a forest with a hidden glen that’s filled with gilda lilies.
Their petals are white with golden dots all over them.
They’re graceful, beautiful, and rare.” He traced her freckled cheek with one finger. “They’re like you.”
His eyes met hers then, and he whispered roughly, “I’d like to take you there.”
A thin, untimely laugh slipped out of Ilain at the unintended double entendre. “You want to take me in the forest.”
Timidly, his chin dipped. “Yes.”
“That’s rather wild, even for you.”
“I am a hunter.”
“Oh, and all hunters take their wives into the forest to copulate?”
“Only the smart ones.”
Ilain laughed fully then, though she tried to stifle it so as not to disturb the barkeep and his family. She let her fingers run through the outgrown waves that brushed his collar. “We are going to Estshire soon,” she reminded.
“I thought you didn’t want to schedule it.”
She lifted a shoulder in feigned casualness. “Just presenting the opportunity.”
Ethenn took a steadying breath, his arms loosening around her. “Ilain,” the way he whispered her name was gentle but full of serious intensity, “it’s been less than a week. Even in Estshire, it will have been less than a month.”
“I know.” She tightened her arms around his neck, leaning closer to impress her heart. “But Ethenn, I’m not undecided about us. I see no reason to wait untold months to commit to what we already know we want.”
His gaze darkened only long enough for Ilain to wonder at its cause before he slipped an arm under her legs and stood, lifting her.
He showed no signs of difficulty in the exertion, turning casually to lay her on the bed.
Then he settled next to her. Their heads rested on the pillows as he stared into her eyes.
“I’m not rushing this, Ilain,” he said in a hushed voice.
“It isn’t because I don’t trust you. It’s because I love you, and I want to do this the right way. ”
“You won’t leave me?” she asked, her heart stuttering.
He shook his head. “Not unless you tell me to.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
Ethenn ran a finger along her cheek, gently pushing back the stray hairs there. Her skin prickled with heat. The fire within her leaped, begging to be unleashed.
“It happens for me, too, you know,” Ilain whispered. His thick eyebrows pulled together, and she explained. “When we touch, my magic responds.”
His chin rose. “Is that why you want me to kiss you?”
“Among other reasons.”
“Such as?”
“I told you,” Ilain smiled shyly, “I like you.”
His rich brown eyes darted between hers as though trying to understand her meaning. Then he swallowed roughly. “We should get some sleep,” he whispered.
“We’re still dressed,” she reminded him.
“True,” he smirked, “but as I don’t care to sleep between the same sheets as Lorn and Nance, I think it’d be rather cold otherwise.”
“You intend to sleep on top of the blankets?”
He shrugged.
“What if I still get cold?” she said flirtatiously.
Ethenn’s lips lifted knowingly. “Are you asking to cuddle with me?”
“It seems appropriate, given the circumstances.”
“I suppose I’ll have to learn at some point,” he said with dry humor.
Clide leaped onto the bed just then, nuzzling his way between them. Disdainfully, Ethenn eyed the cat, but Ilain merely prodded him enough times to force him to the foot of the bed. Then she slid across the mattress to press herself into Ethenn’s chest.
He rested his arm loosely around her, and his chin pressed into her temple. Despite his protests, he proved rather adequate at the task. His breath heated her face, and her magic flickered happily inside of her.
“Ethenn,” she whispered.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
He shifted to look down at her. “Why?”
“I didn’t mean to push you,” she said. “I didn’t know how this—how I made you feel.”
“It’s not just you, Ilain. I’ve felt this way my whole life. It’s just heightened with you.”
“So you don’t feel like killing something now?”
He laughed nervously. “No. I feel on the verge of losing control, but . . . I’m all right. For the moment, at least.”
“When you say, ‘losing control,’ you mean . . . ?”
His hand twitched on her back. “I mean, as you said, I have a psychosis. It must have always been there, lingering below the surface. Magic drives me to do things I wouldn’t normally do. It makes me more aggressive, more reactive, more . . . desirous.”
Ilain pulled back to look up at him. “That’s it?” she said blandly.
Ethenn frowned. “Isn’t that enough?”
“You bloody prude,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.
Then she slugged him playfully in the chest. “That’s how I feel every day of my life.
It’s what being connected to Fire does to you.
I’m impulsive, reckless, and overly eager.
It’s why I’m ready to consummate our relationship after seven days while you’re over here debating its wisdom.
It isn’t a psychosis. It’s the resource. ”
“Oh,” he said with obvious uncertainty. “But I’m not a Mage. I can’t connect to the resource, can I?”
“Not in the same manner, no,” she confirmed. “I’m simply saying that these inclinations of yours don’t bother me, as I have them too.”
“Oh.”
Ilain sighed, then settled her head back on the pillow. “We’re going to have to work on your priggish tendencies. In the meantime, cuddling will do.”
After several seconds of silence, Ethenn whispered her name.
“Hm?”
“I still don’t understand you.”
“I’m a complex woman. It will take time.”
She could feel him smile against her hair. “I think we should make more time.”
Her heart warmed, and she snuggled closer. “Any particular reason?”
“We were advised to test the validity of our marriage,” he murmured. His fingers trailed across her lower back. “And cuddling is likely to lead to solidifying it sooner rather than later.”
Ilain grinned, though she knew he couldn’t see her delight. Then she pressed a kiss to his neck, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “I think that’s a splendid idea, husband.”