Relinquish

Chapter Twenty-One

Lola

As I straighten my skirt, I study Cade. His eyes are still dark with desire, and his chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. But other than that, he doesn’t look like his world has been turned on its head. I feel like I’ve been sucked into a food processor with the lid off, and there’s no putting myself back together.

Heat floods my body, causing my chest to burn. I’ve never been dominated in bed or, in this case, on the sofa, and I should be disgusted, but I’m not. That’s the first time I’ve ever orgasmed during the actual physical act of sex. Being told what to do and being at his mercy was intoxicating. My clit twitches, and I fight back a groan. I want him again–already. This is ridiculous.

He shoves his cock into his pants and zips them closed. “I don’t want you to go to the charity event.”

“What?”

“If you go there, you’ll stir up a hornet’s nest, and you could get hurt.”

“Excuse me?” I lurch off the sofa. “Let’s take a second to set some ground rules. Last night, we discussed you trying to control my decisions. That isn’t going to work. And a few minutes ago, you agreed to only dictate in the bedroom.”

“It’s different now.”

“How is that different?” My teeth feel like they’re going to snap in half.

“You’re my girlfriend.” He says it with such conviction I almost fall for it.

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“Yes, it does. You can’t risk your life. You’ve not been trained to handle the type of dangerous situation you could find yourself in. You might be more equipped than I first imagined you were, but you don’t comprehend how dangerous someone can be if they’re backed into a corner. You’re going to get killed.”

“I’m not going to put myself into a dangerous situation, but I am going to the charity event and figuring out who’s responsible for these burglaries.” My hands ball into fists. “Mr. Truman gave me the green light to go, so I’m going. And even if he didn’t, we’re talking about my mother’s charity event. At this point, I’d go no matter what.” I want to smack him over the head with my purse. Marie’s purse–the one with the kitchen sink in it that left my head with a lump on it. He’s the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever met.

He paces the floor. “Truman’s never had a mission backfire. I know firsthand what happens when you think you’re in control. When you think you know what’s best, but you go in half-cocked.”

My breath catches at the expression on his face. “What happened?”

“I made a mistake, and I won’t let you make the same one.”

“I’m not you.”

“You’re right. You aren’t. And that’s what scares me. I was trained for those types of situations, and I made one miscalculation. It almost cost people their lives. You aren’t professionally trained, and you’re talking about breaking into someone’s house. That’s a stupid idea.”

“I’ve simulated breaking into people’s houses hundreds of times. I wouldn’t get caught.” But he’s right. It wasn’t a well-thought-out idea, and the notion of breaking into a stranger’s house scares the shit out of me. That was more brainstorming than anything else. Not to mention, Mr. Truman put a stop to that idea. Thank God.

“You’re not still considering that idea, are you?” He grabs my shoulders, and daggers of rage shoot out of his eyes.

I cringe. Why did I have sex with a guy who’s even more dictating than my family? I jerk backward and slap my hands on my hips. “I’m going to the charity event, and I’ll figure out how to handle the situation. I think it’s best if you leave. I need to finish packing.” I hold my head high. “And this you and me thing.” I point between the two of us. “It’s not going to work.”

His nostrils flare, and he rolls his head. The popping sound snaps through the room. “Fine. You’re right. Attraction is not enough. Dating between us would never work. I want a woman who listens to reason. But if you’re still going through with this stupid ass plan, I’m going with you.”

Attraction is not enough? Kiss my ass.

Dating between us wouldn’t have worked? Screw you.

At this point, I’m too irrational to acknowledge it was my idea to break up. Were we even a thing? What does it matter? He didn’t blink an eye. He agreed, and we’re done.

Fury rolls through me. “Just because we had sex doesn’t mean you get to follow me around everywhere. Randall would get suspicious if he saw you. How could I prove to him I don’t have anyone to help me with my finances if you’re there stuck up my ass? It’s going to be hard enough to convince him my father doesn’t care.” I shake my head. His need to control things is going to fuck everything up. “And you’re right. We aren’t compatible. I want a man who respects me.” I cross my arms over my chest. “And trusts me to make good decisions.”

“If you ever decide to start making good decisions, I’ll respect them.” He grabs the door handle. “I’ll be there as your security. You can tell Maitland you’ve had a recent break-in and received a threat regarding your pending trust fund, so you’ve hired a bodyguard to protect you. That gives you more of a reason to invest your money and quickly before something happens to it.”

“How am I paying for this security guard?”

“Sex?”

“Fuck you.”

He smirks. “You already did. I’ll consider it a payment.” He presses his lips together and shrugs. “Tell him the security company is doing the job on retainer. When you get your money, you’re paying twice their regular charges. I’ll call a friend of mine out east and set up a fake police report if he happens to call and verify your claim.” He turns the knob.

“Fine. That might work on Randall’s end, but this is my family we’re dealing with here. What do I tell them?”

“Don’t worry. I won’t ask for a shared bedroom.” He twists the lock. “I’m hired to protect you and nothing else. You can explain me to your family the same way. I’m the hired help.”

I glare at him. “Since you seem to have it all figured out, you can come but find your own way there. I’m sure you can get the address without any problems. Your invitation will be at the door.” He’d show up anyway. I might as well be in on the plan. I twirl on my heel and step toward the bedroom.

“Once I leave, be sure to come back here and make sure the lock is secure.” His voice is deep and makes those damn butterflies swirl. A shiver runs up my spine. Asshole.

My shoulders sag, I don’t want to fight with him, but I want him to see me as an equal–someone he can trust to be on his team. I can’t screw this up.

“I won’t forget. Now, go. I have work to do.” The door snaps shut behind me. I grab a throw pillow from the sofa and toss it where he stood. Why does he have to be such a control freak? I can take care of myself.

Yeah, right. You were the one with the brilliant plan to break into someone’s house.

***

Cade

“Ripley, it’s me.” I’ve made it to my place but haven’t gotten out of the vehicle. Anxiety makes my stomach clench. I haven’t spoken to anyone from my past since my military discharge. I couldn’t handle the ‘It wasn’t your fault,’ ‘You did the best you could in the situation,’ ‘No one blames you.’ Well, I blame myself. I haven’t slept since without waking up in a cold sweat and screaming voices coming from all directions, so making this call isn’t easy.

“Hey, bud. How’s it hanging?”

“Low and to the left.” A half-smile curves up the corners of my lips.

“As I would expect.”

“How’s the family?” I haven’t seen Asher Ripley in years. We were in the SEALS together my first two years, and then he finished his military stint.

“The family is fantastic. The wife and kids are amazing. Ella is already learning to read.”

“That’s great, man.”

“Have you talked to the guys?”

“No.” Nausea rolls in my gut. Here we go–the reason I didn’t want to call.

“You should. They’re doing great.”

“That’s good.” Why in the hell would they want to talk to me? If I hadn’t made a selfish decision, they’d still be in the military, living their dreams. “Listen. I need your help on something.”

“Figured as much. It’s too much to expect for you to call a friend and want to hang out.”

I rub my hand over my face. “It isn’t like that.”

“Then, what is it? It feels like that from over here.”

“I’m to blame for the entire shitshow. I don’t deserve their forgiveness. If I had kept to the plan, everyone would’ve been okay.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” Ripley’s voice is somber.

I swallow over the ball of dread in my throat. If I had kept to my original plan, would I still have nightmares? Yeah. Only they’d have been worse. It was a no-win situation. “I need some information.” I’ve already called in the fake police report as a backstory for Lola’s claim of a burglary attempt.

“What kind?”

“I need a layout of Randall Maitland’s estate, one of Congressman Edward Sutherland’s home, and schematics from both of their security systems. I also need information on what type of video feeds and monitoring systems they use. If they’re monitored live, I need to know how many people and whether Beck Security Force has an in with the company.” Ripley works for a similar security company on the East Coast.

Ripley whistles. “Welcome back to the land of the living. Breaking into Congressman Sutherland’s house. That takes some mighty big balls. Aren’t his sons FBI?”

“Yes, they are. And no, I’m not breaking in. I’ll have an invitation to his home. He’s having an annual charity event this weekend.”

“And Maitland?”

“I need to understand his security system in case my partner decides to do something stupid. I need to know how to get in and get out without being detected.” Sweat pools on my back. She’d better not do anything reckless.

“Why do you have a partner you’re worried is going to go rogue? Besides, I thought you weren’t in the field.”

“I’m not,” I growl. “I wasn’t. It’s complicated and involves a woman.”

“Oh, that makes perfect sense. Sloane has done a few rash things over the years.” Sloane is Ripley’s wife and works for the DIA.

I lay my head against the headrest. “How do you deal with it? It’s like they have no concept of dying. What happens if she gets caught?” Like I need something else to keep me up at night. Now I have to worry about Lola.

“If you love her, you’ve got to find a way. I can’t live without Sloane, and she can’t live without me. But I can’t control her every move, and we have open communication. That doesn’t mean there aren’t times I intervene to keep her safe, which lands me on the sofa for a few nights. But it’s worth it. She’s alive, and the make-up sex is phenomenal.”

Love? I stop breathing. Do I love Lola? I wasn’t looking for anyone like her. I was searching for a submissive woman–one who needed me to lead the way. But none of those women worked out. Before my injury, those relationships never lasted longer than a month. They bored me to tears.

Then the injury happened, and I’ve been celibate since, never trusting anyone to get close. After my body healed, the nightmares were still there, and who wants a man with a bunch of scars? Emotional ones and physical ones.

Lola is not like those women. I can’t lead her to water and make her drink. But she never bores me. She drives me crazy. The only time she’s submissive is during sex. Is that the best of both worlds?

“Dude, are you still there?”

“Yeah. Sure. I was thinking about something.”

“So, who is this woman who has you tied up in knots?”

“Congressman Sutherland’s daughter.”

“Whoa.” Ripley coughs. “The socialite who left her groom at the alter?”

Apparently, he looks at the tabloids standing in line at the grocery store also. “It wasn’t like that.” I tap my fingertips on the steering wheel–one after another in a soothing cadence. “They’re friends, and their fathers wanted them to get married. Neither of them was on board with the plan.”

“Man, I was busting your balls. I’ll have everything you need by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Perfect.”

“I have to tell you something about this Maitland character.”

“Okay.” My heart thuds in my chest. If he knows the man by name, that’s not good.

“There’s word underground his investments are too good to be true. Things might be closing in on him.”

Son of a bitch.Truman and Lola were right, which puts her at even greater risk. “Ponzi scheme?”

“Likely.” He clears his throat. “Let me talk to Beck. I think we have had an open case on him as well. I’ll wrangle an invite to the party and serve as your backup.” Jacob Beck owns the security company Ripley works for.

“I would appreciate that. Thanks.”

“It’s great to have you back in the field.”

“I’m only doing it–this once–to keep Lola safe.” I pause for several seconds as I push back the image of the overly tan, blinding white-toothed man threatening Lola and ripping jewels out of her hands. That’s not going to happen. I protect what’s mine to the death. “I care about her, and my top priority is to keep her from getting hurt.”

And I’ve got to apologize to her for acting like a jackass. If this is love, it’s got me acting like a jerk.