Chapter 46
The room was so damn cold, my teeth hurt.
Who kept air conditioning in a raggedy ass warehouse?
But Trell, that nigga looked like he was burning from the inside out, fast as he was pacing.
I kept my eyes half-closed, putting on a show of weakness.
I didn’t feel weak, but I figured a tired woman looked less threatening, less likely to think or fight back.
He finally stopped and turned toward me.
“You real calm for somebody tied up,” he said.
Calm? Oh, I was far from calm. My heart was in Sha’Carri Richardson mode, but I let my breath stay slow.
“Panic doesn’t help me,” I admitted. “Or you.”
He snorted. “Help me? Girl, you don’t even know what I want.”
“Then tell me.”
He leaned against the wall and folded his arms like he was posing. “Why should I?”
I shrugged. “Because you want to be understood.”
His head tilted. He was interested but suspicious. He wasn’t expecting that answer.
Good.
“That’s cute, how you keep tryna get in my head.”
“I already am.”
He blinked. Just once. “Tell me, then, Dr. Farrah. Tell me about myself.”
Fine. He asked for it. I just hoped I survived it.
“You want to humiliate Mekhi, but I think you want him to see you more. You want him to have to acknowledge how you feel.”
His jaw clenched, a ripple moving across his cheek. “Shut up,” he muttered.
“You think if he sees you that means you matter.”
“I said shut up.” His voice rose, agitation clear.
“Because being hated is better than being invisible, huh, Trell?”
He exploded then, almost ran up on me.
“You keep focusing on what I want from Mekhi. What about what I want from you, Farrah?” he hissed.
I couldn’t stop the reflexive shake of my head, my eyes widening. He read it as fear, as weakness. A sinister smile crept across his face.
“Maybe I am envious of what he has, especially you, pretty girl. You know how beautiful you are to me? You smell as good as you look. My dick stays hard when I get close to you. Even now.”
“Trell—” I began, wanting to redirect him.
But he wasn’t having it. “I’m taking back what should’ve been mine. That includes you, pretty girl. I can’t wait to fuck you, Farrah. You know how much I’ve thought about it? Fucking you. Breeding you. Watching you swell with my baby.”
I swallowed, met his eyes head on, disturbed by the lust there. “That will never happen. Never. Mekhi—”
“I don’t want to hear about no fucking Mekhi,” he roared. “You don’t understand that?” he muttered under his breath, shaking his hands like he needed to hit something but didn’t know where. You think you so smart,” he murmured, coming to crouch in front of me. “But you don’t understand nothing.”
“Then explain it to me,” I coaxed, trying to shift his focus.
He stood, then stormed off. I watched as he dragged a chair back to the center of the room. He sat in front of me, so close our knees almost touched.
“Mekhi—”
“Is not your enemy,” I interrupted. “All of your parents made poor choices. That does not make Mekhi your enemy.”
He looked at me like I’d spit on him.
“That nigga got love. Got protection. Got opportunity. Got family.”
“You want his life.”
“I want what he stole,” he corrected angrily.
“Or what you think he stole.”
His lips tightened. He looked confused.
“Don’t do that. Don’t make me doubt what I know. Don’t fucking gaslight me, Farrah. I hate when people gaslight—”
“Okay, okay!” I soothed. “I’m not trying to gaslight you. It’s just another perspective. You gotta think, Trell—”
“Stop talking. Just stop,” he whispered hoarsely.
“But why? Trell, none of this is your mess. It’s not your fight. You bringing it to Mekhi, when both of you suffered. You tryna hurt him, and he ain’t the one who—”
He stood and tilted my chair backward. My heart jerked, but I kept my face and voice calm.
“This ain’t y’all fight.”
He stepped back, chest heaving. And for the first time, he looked unsure. He looked young and miserable and unsure.
“Don’t… Don’t make me weak,” he said, voice cracking.
“You’re not weak,” I whispered.
He shut his eyes. “She’s right,” he muttered. “Gillian was right.”
My blood went cold. I didn’t need him listening to anything Gillian said.
“What did she say?” I asked carefully.
“She said that you could make me think twice.”
I didn’t breathe. He shook his head.
“I’m not doing that. I wanted you. I have you. And real soon, when we can move, I’ll have you in every way,” he promised, voice low, determined.
Terrifying.
My heart stopped moving.