Chapter 48
I didn’t take her home at first. Not to my house. I took her to the condo I kept under a shell company, the one nobody but Seth and now Ajani knew about. Some place Trell had never found. Some place Gillian didn’t know existed.
The elevator ride up was silent. Farrah stood pressed against my side, both of my arms around her, her face tucked under my chin like she was trying to disappear into me.
She hadn’t let go since I picked her up off that warehouse floor.
I wasn’t letting go either. When the doors opened, she jumped at the soft ding, her fingers gripping my shirt like she thought someone was about to come flying out at us.
“It's okay,” I murmured. “Ain’t nobody here but us.”
Her breathing was quick, shallow, uneven. She tried to hide it, but I could feel her shaking. I walked her in. It was all dim lights, clean smell, and big windows overlooking the city. It looked peaceful, even though neither of us was.
Farrah lifted her head and looked around like she was trying to figure out where we were.
“This… this isn’t your house,” she whispered.
“Nah. Thought we needed somewhere out the way,” I said softly.
She nodded once. I could tell she didn’t have the energy to ask questions.
I guided her to the bedroom. She was shaking again. Subtle, but there. I sat her on the edge of the bed.
“I’m gonna get you some water,” I said.
She caught my hand before I stepped away. Her fingers were cold. Too cold.
“Don’t… Khi… Please don’t go far.”
My chest squeezed.
“I ain’t going nowhere, baby.”
I grabbed water from the kitchen, hurried back, and gave her the bottle. Her hands shook so bad I had to unscrew the cap for her. She took a sip, then looked up at me.
“You killed him,” she whispered. Not accusing. Just… acknowledging.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t even hesitate.”
“No.”
Her throat worked. “For me.”
“For us,” I corrected gently. “And ’cause I wasn’t letting nobody walk around with the idea they could touch you and still breathe.”
Her jaw trembled. She tried to hold herself together but couldn’t.
“I knew you were coming, but I wasn’t sure you’d find me in time,” she said.
I sat beside her, close enough that our knees touched. “I was always gon’ find you.”
She shook her head. “I was so scared, Mekhi.”
I turned, cupped her face with both hands. She leaned into the touch like she’d been starving for it.
“You listen to me. There ain’t a place on this earth I wouldn’t have gone to get to you. Ain’t a man alive, dead, or dreaming that could’ve stopped me.”
Her eyes flooded instantly. I pulled her into my chest and she broke down for real.
I held her through quiet, painful sobs, my throat tight, aching at her fear.
She cried into my shirt, fists clutching the fabric like she needed something to hold on to.
I held the back of her head with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her waist, pulling her fully into my lap.
I rocked her gently without thinking, just instinct.
“I got you. You safe now. I promise.”
She cried for what felt like forever, long minutes during which she released the shit Trell’s ass had put us through. When her sobs finally quieted, she was curled against me, boneless and exhausted.
“I thought I was gon’ die, Khi,” she whispered against my chest.
I hugged her tighter. “Don’t say that.”
“I did,” she said, voice faint. “And I kept thinking… I hadn’t told you…”
She stopped.
“Told me what?” I asked, brushing my thumb along her cheek.
She swallowed, eyes searching mine.
“That I—”
“Farrah.”
She blinked up at me. Her lashes were wet, cheeks flushed, lips trembling.
I leaned in slowly, giving her every chance to pull back.
She didn’t. Our foreheads touched before our mouths did, just a soft press of our lips.
“You ain’t gotta say nothing tonight,” I murmured.
“Not a damn thing. You been through enough.”
She shook her head, gripping my shirt tighter. “I want to.”
“I want you to know. You’re the reason I held on. I kept thinking, ‘He’s coming. He’s coming for me.’ I didn’t let myself break because I knew you were out there somewhere calculating and losing your mind at the same time.”
“I was,” I admitted. “I ain’t never been that scared in my life.”
She closed her eyes, pressing her cheek to my chest. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“You won’t be,” I said.
She let out a shaky breath.
The next minutes were quiet. I ran a bath for her, let her soak while I showered, then I took care of her.
She cried again. I lifted her out, dried her, and held her.
Eventually, we made our way to the bed. I eased her back onto the mattress, slid in beside her, and pulled the covers over us.
She curled into me instantly, her hand gripping my shirt like she still needed proof I was real.
I held her with both arms, kissed her hair, her forehead, the top of her cheek where Trell had touched her.
“You safe. I got you. Always.”
Her breathing finally slowed. Her body softened. Farrah fell asleep in my arms. Right where she belonged. She woke up a few hours later. I knew because I felt her move, the slow, careful movement of somebody trying not to disturb the person holding them.
“You good?” I asked, eyes still closed.
She startled a little, then let out a breath. “Yeah.”
I opened my eyes and looked down at her. Her hair was a soft halo against the pillow, ginger curls messy from sleep. There was a faint bruise at her temple, another along her jaw. Every mark made something twist in my chest, but I didn’t touch them yet. Not until she showed me she wanted that.
“You hurt?” I asked quietly.
She shook her head. “Not… physically.”
I raised my hand slowly and brushed a strand of hair from her face. She sighed, eyes closing for a second.
“Sure you don’t want me to call a doctor?” I asked.
She shook her head again. “No. I just want you.”
Her voice dipped a little on the last word, and she put her face in my chest, like she was embarrassed. I wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close.
“I mean…” she whispered, looking up, cheeks flushed, “I want to be near you. That’s all.”
“That’s enough. It’s more than enough.”
She relaxed against me as I rubbed slow circles on her back, grounding her, grounding myself. After a moment, she spoke again.
“Mekhi?” Her voice was small. “Can I ask something?”
“Anything.”
“Can you touch me? Not like… I just need to feel you.” She expelled a shy breath.
“Come here,” I whispered.
She moved over me without hesitation, settling with her knees on either side of my thighs, straddling me, her forehead resting against mine. Her breath mingled with mine, warm and sweet.
I brought one hand to her waist, the other to the back of her neck, slow and deliberate, not wanting to scare her. Her breath hitched, but she nodded, eyes half closed.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” I murmured.
“I will.”
“Tell me if something don’t feel right.”
“I will.”
“Tell me if you need a break.”
She touched my face with both palms. “Mekhi, I’m okay. I promise.”
I believed her. So, I kissed her, soft. Slow enough that she could pull back any time. She didn’t. She kissed me back like she needed it. Her fingers slid into my hair, holding me there.
“You’re here,” she whispered, almost to herself. “You’re really here.”
“Always,” I whispered back.
Her hands went to my shoulders, tracing the muscles there, then down my arms like she was making sure I was real. I let her explore at her own pace, no expectations.
I pressed a kiss to her temple, right where the bruise was. “Does that hurt?”
“No.” A tiny pause. “That helps.” Another pause. “I want more eventually. But right now, I just want you to hold me.”
So, I did. I laid us both back on the pillows, her body curled along mine, her cheek against my heartbeat. I knew she liked that. I slid a blanket over us and wrapped her up, slow and protective—one arm under her shoulders, the other draped over her waist.
Her hand found my chest and stayed there. “Mekhi?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I’m not letting you go.”
“You couldn’t even if you tried.”
“I love you.”
I swallowed. “I love you, too, Little Thug.”
Her breathing evened out and she fell asleep again tucked against me.
I stayed up, watching over her.