12. Penny
PENNY
W e were in Travis’ office post-bedtime to go over his schedule for the next couple of weeks. At the moment, however, neither of us was particularly interested in discussing a schedule.
“So tight.” His voice was an animalistic growl in my ear when he bent down over me. “This tight pussy. Fuck, you feel so good.”
Not as good as he felt. Even when he dug his fingers into my flesh, holding my hips tight enough that I knew I’d have bruises, I didn’t care. I loved it and wanted more of it. I didn’t know this side of me existed until him. Dark, almost. Hungry.
I arched my back, thrusting my ass into the air as he pounded against me. Every stroke meant the edge of the desk dug into my thighs as he took me from behind, but even that was good. A bit of pain mixed with the pleasure, making it even more intense, making me want to scream.
“Have you been thinking about my cock today?” he asked, lifting my right leg and propping it on the desk so he could take me even deeper. I pressed my knuckles against my mouth to stifle a shriek.
“Yes!” I gasped, pushing back against him, chasing my high now that he had me so close to the edge.
“I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he grunted out, moving faster, punishing me with the force of his strokes. “Dammit, you’re so good. I’m not going to last…”
I loved hearing him like this. So close to the end of his control.
Lost in me the way I got lost in him every time we were together.
It was simple, primal, undeniable. It didn’t matter how wrong it was to fuck my boss.
I couldn’t imagine going without the feeling of him inside me, filling me, fucking me like it was the last thing he would ever do. I could let myself go. I could be free.
“Getting tighter,” he told me like I didn’t know. “Are you gonna come for me? Are you gonna come over my cock?”
I could only nod since I was fighting so hard to be quiet. I didn’t trust myself to speak when I wanted to scream the walls down. There was nothing like this. I wanted it to last forever. “Close… so close…” I whimpered, making him chuckle darkly in response.
Our bodies slapped together, the sound filling the room while I bit down on my knuckles, ready to ride out the orgasm that was about to tear me apart.
I welcomed it and worked for it, with his rapid breaths pushing me even further.
The sound of him using my body the way I used his was unspeakably hot.
“Fuck… come with me…” I begged when the tension was too much, once that familiar build of pressure in my core told me the end was coming. “Let me hear you come.”
I turned my head, locking eyes with him, and he let out a growl that rocked me. I went still in the final, breathless moment before the tension broke, and I came until my legs shook.
“Oh, shit,” he groaned out when it was over, slipping out of me. There was always a split second of sadness when he did that. I didn’t want to let him go. “I would say sorry, I couldn’t help but attack you the second you walked in here, but it seems like you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
“The day you hear me complaining about being attacked is the day that I’m either sick or halfway dead.
” I pulled myself together, standing and letting my dress fall back down to its normal position around my thighs instead of being hiked up around my waist. If anything, it was safer for us to be together this way rather than walk the tightrope of not being discovered together.
Even though we’d agreed on a rule where I’d leave his bed before dawn, I was always nervous about her finding us asleep together. I didn’t want to confuse her.
Tonight, it would be easier to go our separate ways now that we were both satisfied.
“Where’s my panties?” I asked, looking around.
He bent to find them under the desk, but when I reached for them, he snatched them away. “Finders keepers.”
There was even something surprisingly hot about that. He tucked them into his back pocket, then settled into his chair with a contented sigh. He had gotten home late from the office and was still wearing his work clothes, which today were a little more business than casual.
I had started taking his shirt off as he’d spun me and bent me over the desk, and now he was finishing the process of unbuttoning. How was I supposed to think about anything having to do with work when so much of his bronze chest was visible?
“What were we supposed to be talking about again?” I teased, sitting on the edge of his desk, swinging my feet back and forth. “You’ll have to refresh my memory because I’m pretty sure you fucked my brains out.”
It was so good to hear him laugh. He had been so tense, stressed, and moody, much more so than usual.
It didn’t take a genius to connect the dots.
His shift in attitude started in the aftermath of that surprise visit from his mom last week.
On the one hand, I didn’t want to overstep my bounds and pry into his feelings, but on the other, it hurt to see him like this.
Of course, Sofia noticed it too. I didn’t want that for her.
Tiptoeing around her father, knowing he was in a rotten mood and feeling like she had to somehow make up for that. It wasn’t fair.
But when he laughed and lit up my heart like a candle, I knew there was more to it than a concern for Sofia. I was concerned for him, worried. Maybe more than I should’ve been.
“Fine.” He ran his hands over his hair, which was mussed to hell after I ran my fingers through it.
“Let’s talk scheduling. I have late meetings the next two nights, Wednesday and Thursday, but the latest can take place here over Zoom.
Still, don’t expect me for dinner with you and Sofia.
I probably won’t be home until her bedtime, and I’ll still need to touch base with a couple of the board members and the team I sent to the UK to meet with our partners out there. ”
I did some quick math in my head. “It will practically be the middle of the night out there.”
“Sure, and I’m dealing with a bunch of jetlagged employees. They’re busy, too,” he explained with a shrug. “It’s the only time we can coordinate before getting caught up in meetings.”
His expansion was closer every day, but something still told me it was stress over his family issues that bothered him more. “I’ll keep dinner warm for you,” I suggested. “You can eat whenever you're ready.”
“What would I do without you?” My heart beat faster when he reached out and took my hand, stroking the back of my fingers tenderly and offering an almost sheepish smile. “I would be lost.”
Why did he have to go and do things like that?
If I weren’t careful, I could make the terrible mistake of falling in love.
I cared too much as it was, wanted him too much.
My typical habit. Jumping in headfirst, even when I knew how dangerous it was and that there might be dangers waiting under the surface of the water, things that could hurt me if I couldn’t see them.
“Otherwise, I’m going on a short trip to New York. Two days,” he explained, waving it off like it was nothing. “I’ll be gone the twelfth through the fourteenth.”
I had to be hearing things. “Of this month? August?”
“No, three months from now.” He chuckled, nodding. “Of course, this month.”
“But…” This was awkward. “I thought that was when we were supposed to have dinner for your mom’s birthday. On the thirteenth.”
It was the funniest thing. I watched in real-time as he shut down, pushing me away through his attitude, if not his actions. He was still holding onto my hand when he lifted a shoulder. “It is what it is. I can’t miss these meetings. They’re too important.”
“But you said we would be there.”
He dropped my hand, standing and going to the bar cart in the opposite corner of the room. “Things happen. She’ll understand. I’m sorry if I can’t bend to her every whim. I told her we could get together someplace else, wherever she wants to go. If that’s not good enough, I don’t know what to say.”
Who was this person? I knew he wasn’t perfect.
Who was? I wasn’t under any illusions. But I at least thought he had the decency not to break his mother’s heart.
“You would really do that?” I asked as my heart sank with disappointment, not only for his mom, who seemed like a sweet person, but it would break Sofia’s heart too.
“Not a day has gone by since we had that dinner here that Sofia hasn’t talked about going to Nana’s house.
She asks me every morning how many days are left before we get to go. ”
Lifting his shoulders as he poured, he replied, “Sofia is going to have to get over it.”
His cold reaction left me staring at him in disbelief. I didn’t recognize the man in front of me. It was one thing to be blunt, even brusque, but this? “I don’t understand. How?—”
“Right. You don’t understand,” he agreed, turning on me, his eyes blazing. Normally, he would look at me that way, and my toes would curl. I would have to check to make sure my panties were still on. This was not one of those times.
“Help me understand,” I implored. “Maybe we can work it out together. There has to be a way.”
He took his time sipping his scotch, then closing his eyes, sighing. “Penny. I know you are committed to seeing the bright side of things. I understand. I respect that. But some things, there is no getting around with a positive outlook. This is one of them.”
“Would you at least tell me why?”
“You first,” he countered, folding his arms. “Tell me why you think you deserve to know.”
“I thought…” What did I think, anyway? A lot of things, too many things, most of which I didn’t have the guts to say out loud. Instead, I settled for, “I thought we were better than that. I really did.”
His brows lifted. “What? You thought sleeping together meant full access to every painful aspect of my past?”
“But there’s more. The way we acted together was like we were at least friends. I thought we were closer than this,” I replied while my heart did its best not to break. “I thought we had an understanding.”
“It looks like you were wrong. Sorry to burst your bubble,” he said before drinking again. “Remember, this is all physical fun. Nothing serious. It’s nothing personal. It’s just the way I am.”
“So that means we can treat each other like less than strangers when our clothes are on? No, really,” I insisted when he turned away again. I marched around him and positioned myself smack dab in front of his face. “I am trying to be your friend through this, but I can’t be if you won’t let me in.”
“I don’t want to let you in.” He turned his back again, this time returning to his desk. “Don’t you get it? You don’t know. You weren’t there.”
“So tell me, dammit! What is so unfathomable? It can’t only be the stuff with your dad’s business. This is too big for it to be about that.”
“Congratulations,” he muttered, finishing his drink and plopping the glass on the desk. “You cracked the code. Way to go.”
There was no pretending that didn’t hurt. “Maybe you shouldn’t insult the one person who cares enough to help you.”
“I didn’t ask you to help me, goddammit!
” He pounded a fist on top of the desk hard enough to make me jump.
And when I did, when he noticed, his face fell a little.
“Look. There is a lot of history you don’t have the first idea about, and I do not feel like sharing.
Why is it not enough to tell you how much I cannot step foot in that house? ”
“That’s more than enough, only?—”
“No.” He shook his head. “There’s no only about it. That’s it, that’s the story.”
“So you're going to deny your daughter what she wants so much? And your mother? She adores Sofia. She’s desperate to spend time with her. What did she do to deserve this?”
“She didn’t do anything,” he muttered.
“Well? It would break her heart, and she was so happy.” And my heart.
He was breaking my heart when it had no right to be heartbroken. There were no promises. I was letting myself get too caught up, the way I always did. Wrapped up in him, knowing there was a good, decent person behind the facade he put on. It wasn’t my responsibility to bring that good side out.
Why did I feel like it was?
When he wouldn’t look me in the eye, I craned my neck, forcing myself into his field of vision. “Look at you. Look how far you’ve come, and all on your own. Don’t you want him to see that? Don’t you want him to know?”
His brows pinched as he gritted out, “I’ve warned you not to use that child psychology bullshit on me.”
“Who says I am?” I wasn’t. I meant every word, completely sincere. “Show him how much you don’t need him. Let him see how happy Sofia is without him in her life. How well she’s doing. What a good father you are. Better than he ever was, I bet,” I added.
All right, maybe I was using psychology on him, just a little.
But it worked. His lips twitched, and his eyes lost some of their hardness. “That’s true.”
“Of course it is. Throw it in his face, then. Make sure he can’t pretend he doesn’t know how amazing your life is without him, without his help, without anything of his influence.
And who knows?” I added, why not go for broke?
“He might end up regretting whatever it was he did to split you two apart. In fact, I’m sure he will. ”
That was too much. I knew it the second his lips thinned into a scowl. “I doubt that.”
“Fine, but you get my point. Throw it in his face if you want to. Let him see. Let him know everything he’s losing out on by being who he is. And when it’s over, it’s over. No broken hearts. No guilt.”
Silence spread between us. I watched the anger drain from him and felt the energy shift until the air felt clearer. “This is going to come out entirely wrong,” he warned me. “But who the hell are you, and where did you come from?”
I could breathe again. We were on solid ground.
Or were we?
There was a tiny voice in the back of my mind that told me not to let him off the hook that easily.
He had been mean and dismissive, and I deserved better than that.
But seeing him grin was so much nicer than cringing under the heat of his scowl.
Letting it go was easier than fighting it out and safer, too, since it meant not having to explain what right I had to be offended.
He had his reasons for what he’d said. Why waste time fighting when there were so many other things we could be doing?
“Penny Anderson, Sacramento, California.” I gave him a quick salute before turning around and heading for the door. “And now, I’m going to take off all my clothes and step into the very large shower stall in my bathroom. Just in case that interests you.”
“If I ever pass up an opportunity like that…” he joked as his chair squeaked as he stood, “… you can have me officially declared dead.”