13. Travis #2
“Then I can’t imagine what I could do for you since kids are my life.
” Was I imagining things, or did she firmly pull her hand away from him when he wouldn’t let go?
I stared at her, willing her to look at me when he looked away, but she didn’t notice or pretended not to, either way.
She was watching him, her face an unmoving mask that gave away nothing.
“Now that we’re all together,” Mom announced. “Why don’t we go into dinner? Are you hungry, sweetie?” she asked Sofia, who gladly took her hand and walked beside Mom into the dining room beyond where we stood.
“Yeah!” Sofia almost shouted. “Penny said no snack this afternoon. I had to save my appetite for dinner.”
“Very smart of Penny.” Mom exchanged a smile with Penny as we took our places at the table.
The leaf had been removed, making things a little more intimate, though I would’ve happily sat at the other end of the long table from the man who, at this point, still had not greeted me.
Not that I cared. It was par for the course.
“Mr. Knight,” Penny ventured after I slid her chair into place, then took the seat beside her.
She was at Dad’s left hand and Mom sat on his right.
Again, no surprise. Mom probably knew I wouldn’t want to sit close to him.
“Is it true this is the first time Sofia has visited your house? She’s been so excited about it. ”
“Yes, indeed. This is the first time I’ve set eyes on this little cherub.” He knew the right words but not the feeling behind them. I didn’t buy the jovial act for a minute.
“But you two seem to know each other pretty well.” Penny looked across the table at Mom and Sofia, sitting side by side.
“Well, things happen.” Dad suddenly turned off the charm, clearing his throat, shifting in his chair. “We can’t always control how other people deal with situations.”
So it was a situation now. Not his destruction of everything I thought was mine. Not his deliberate destruction of my marriage.
“You know, that is something I tell Sofia all the time.” Our salads were placed in front of us, and Penny eagerly spread the silk napkin across her lap. “We can’t beat ourselves up over how other people react to us. Right, Sofia?” she asked.
Sofia’s head bobbed as she picked through the salad, trying to find something she liked. “Right. Like at school.”
“Exactly. When the other kids think you’re being a know-it-all, that’s their problem, not yours.” Spearing lettuce on her fork, she added, “Of course, we know you’re not really a know-it-all. That helps.” She turned her gaze upon Dad, chewing slowly, her eyes narrowing a little.
“You seem to know a lot about kids. Did my son make a good choice for once?” He inquired with such derision before picking up his wine glass and draining half of it in one gulp. Mom cast a pleading look at him from under her lashes, and he pointedly ignored her. Something he was good at.
“I wouldn’t worry about his judgment,” Penny assured him, chipper as ever. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders.”
“That must be a new development.”
“Could you not?” I muttered under my breath, glancing at my daughter.
All of this was going on over her head. She was too busy trying to make it look like she was actually eating her salad, though I knew damn well she didn’t want to.
For once, I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t want to eat a bite of this man’s food.
“Let’s have a nice dinner,” Mom urged. I caught the way her fork trembled as she lifted it to her lips.
Sofia’s fork clattered onto her plate. “Nana! Show Pop-Pop the earrings Daddy gave you!”
“Pop-Pop?” Dad scoffed, holding up his wine glass for more. Under the brighter lights in the dining room, I could make out the broken blood vessels across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. His drinking was catching up to him.
“That’s what she wants to call you,” Penny explained with a wink at Sofia.
“I don’t get a say in this?” He snickered.
“Don’t worry,” I grunted out. “It’s not like she’ll get the chance to see you after tonight, anyway.”
“Please,” Mom whispered, shaking her head a little.
Maybe she could sit back and let this son of a bitch walk all over her.
That didn’t mean I had to do the same. It made me think back to when I used to question why he did what he did.
Why he would humiliate me and wreck my life.
It took time, but I finally figured out the answer.
Because he could.
No one had ever stopped him from doing what he wanted to do. No one ever made him consider the consequences.
It was easier to stay silent for the rest of the meal.
I ate quickly, determined to get this over with, ignoring my lack of hunger in favor of plowing through my food.
More than once, Penny nudged me under the table with her foot, but I ignored that too.
It was safer to check out until our dinner plates were cleared.
I had hardly tasted a bite of the chicken, which Mom had carefully and lovingly cut up for Sofia.
“Are we gonna have birthday cake?” Sofia leaned back against the padded chair and patted her stomach. “I have room in my tummy.”
Even I had to laugh. All of us did, except my father. “Will you be having cake tonight, Penny?” he asked her, well into his fourth glass of wine by now. One corner of his mouth tugged upward as he asked, “Do you think you have room in that cute little dress you’re wearing?”
I pushed my chair back, blinded by rage, but Penny spoke first. “I’m sorry,” she said in that bright, friendly voice. “But I don’t understand the question. Can you repeat it for me?”
Son of a bitch. That simple question took a lot of the heat out of my reaction. I looked at Dad, who once again blinked like he took a surprise hit. “You know it was a compliment,” he mumbled.
“How? I’m curious.” Her aggressive cheerfulness was on full display as she angled her body in the chair to face him. “Is telling me my dress is too tight a compliment?”
“Dear,” Mom whispered to him. “Please.”
“Since when do I have to apologize in my own home?” he barked, making Sofia jump.
“Since when does it matter where you are? Sweetie, ” Penny continued, turning toward Sofia. “It’s okay. I was just a little confused, that’s all.”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Sofia fretted all of a sudden.
“I’ll show you where it is,” Mom offered. It was clear she was looking for a reason to get out of the room. Her nerves were fragile in the first place.
“I think it would be better if we go once Sofia is finished.” I stood, shooting him a single, withering stare before pulling out Penny’s chair. It was either that or kill him where he sat.
“Back in my day,” he muttered after draining his glass. “A woman knew how to take a compliment without getting mouthy.”
“Back in the day,” Penny replied. “Gentlemen knew the difference between a compliment and a come-on. Maybe you don’t think I know the difference, Mr. Knight, but I do. And it’s no wonder this is the first time that child ever stepped foot in this house. I wouldn’t want to bring her here, either.”
His mouth fell open, his eyes bulging, but she knew she had the last word and wasted no time marching from the dining room.
“You make me sick,” I told him, following her retreat. His soft, derisive laughter followed me through the drawing room, but taking Penny’s hand out in the hall somehow made all of that go away. I led her to the powder room, where Mom waited outside the door with her hands covering her face.
“Hey,” I whispered, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“No, this was my mistake,” she groaned out, sniffling. “I should’ve known better.”
She lowered her hands to reveal tear-filled eyes. “You must think we’re awful,” she told Penny.
“Not at all,” Penny insisted with all of her usual warmth and understanding. “I’m only sorry this had to happen on your birthday. You should come back for dinner another night,” she offered. “I’ll have Sofia help me make a cake for you. It would make her so happy.”
Mom’s face lit up. As usual, Penny knew the right thing to say. Just like she knew the right thing to say to Dad. Sometimes a quiet word delivered with a smile could be much more effective than the cruelest insults.
That was still on my mind on the ride home as Sofia pouted over the lack of birthday cake. “We’ll make one for Nana real soon,” Penny promised. When she put an arm around my daughter's shoulders, there was something so right about it.
My heart swelled as I watched Sofia melt against her and close her eyes.
Over the top of her head, holding Penny’s gaze, I whispered, “I want to see you after bedtime.”
I planned on thanking her for what she did back there.
All night long, in fact.