20. Penny #2
“Really? Why were you thinking of me?” I asked.
The longer he stood in front of me, the more I remembered how it felt to be rejected with no explanation, without even the consideration to apologize.
I wasn’t so tempted to throw myself into his arms anymore.
I had already made it too easy for him to crush my heart.
“Because I made a mistake. The worst mistake. Everything you said on Thanksgiving was true. You see straight through me. Maybe that was part of why I had to turn away. I couldn’t handle being seen that way. You have more courage than I do.”
Now I knew I was dreaming. Travis Knight admitting he was wrong? Admitting he was a coward? What really blew me away was how much I wanted to correct him and make him feel better.
I still loved him.
I didn’t want to hurt him.
Somehow, I managed to keep my mouth shut before he continued.
“The truth is, I love you. I didn’t know it was possible for me after everything that happened back then.
Nicola came back and reared her ugly head, and it reminded me of everything I thought I had gotten past. You helped me get through it all. I was only afraid to admit it.”
I liked the words he used. They made my heart flutter like a hummingbird’s wings and had me blinking back tears.
I couldn’t cry. Not yet, not over words he might not mean.
I couldn’t jump in headfirst and break my heart this time.
“What about her?” I had to know. He hadn’t mentioned her after that night.
A brief smile passed over his mouth. “Oh, that was easy. All it took was my lawyer reminding her lawyer that according to the terms of our divorce agreement, she was not supposed to step foot on my property again. She made a mistake, standing right in front of the camera.” He rolled his eyes and snickered.
That was a relief. Sofia didn’t need to be all mixed up in her mother’s craziness.
But Sofia wasn’t the only one involved here. I could not keep ignoring my feelings. “You were right. I was afraid to admit you crushed me. And you threw it in my face,” I added when he cringed.
“I was on the defensive. I was stupid.”
“You were,” I agreed. “And it would be stupid of me not to worry you’d do it again. How do I know you won’t shut down on me and block me out?”
“I will never stop hating myself for that.” He pulled up the chair Mom had sat in earlier, leaving it close enough that our knees touched.
I wondered if I should push my chair back, but I didn’t want to.
I wanted to be closer. “It was all out of fear of the past and shame. Embarrassment. I’m not proud of myself.
And I am so sorry you had to suffer because of it. ”
His touch on my hand was tentative. So incredibly missed and craved too. “I love you. I didn’t want you to leave. The night we fought, when I told you everything, I walked in the front door ready to tell you I wanted you to stay with us.”
I wanted with all my heart to believe him, but the memory of sleepless, tear-filled nights wouldn’t let me. “Are you just saying that?”
He shook his head firmly. “Absolutely not. This week without you has been hell. And the week before that, before you left. All I wanted was to touch you and hold you because when I do, my life finally makes sense. You and me, we make perfect sense.”
Like the perfect sense, it made for my hand to fit against his.
I almost didn’t want it to. I didn’t want to make it possible for him to hurt me again, but at the same time, I let him entwine his fingers with mine.
“How do I know somebody else isn’t going to show up one day and throw everything upside down?
” I asked since there had been no preparing myself for Nicola. “I can’t go through that again.”
“I’ll tell you everything there is to know about me. You’ll get sick of hearing about me before long, but it’ll be worth it if it means you know me and trust me the way I’m ready to.”
He lifted my hand and pressed his lips to my palm, closing his eyes. “Please,” he whispered against my skin. “Come back with me. Let me love you.”
How could I say no to that? I couldn’t. I had no choice but to lean in and throw my arms around his neck. “I love you,” I whispered through the tears streaming down my cheeks. “But don’t ever do that again.”
“I won’t, I swear.” He stood and pulled me to my feet, his arms closing around me and pulling me tight against him. “I will never hurt you again.”
His mouth found my ear, my jaw, and my cheek before landing on my upturned lips.
Yes. My heart soared, and my head spun as everything I wished for came true all at once.
Life was too short to hold grudges, to be afraid.
It meant taking chances and having a little faith.
Not out of some misguided compulsion to avoid the hard things in life, either.
I wasn’t running away from anything now.
I was running toward it. I was ready to do that.
But first, reality knocked on the back of my mind. “What are we doing? You’ve got this huge event you’re missing. Shouldn’t you go back? Can you even do that?”
“I’m not going back without you. The ship can set off without me, but I should make an appearance at the party tonight.” With another kiss, he announced, “I’m going to need you on my arm.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I’m?—”
“The woman I love, in the sexy little red dress you wore that night.” He didn’t have to describe it further than that. We both knew exactly what he meant.
“That’s a summer dress. I’d freeze.”
“Then we’ll have ten dresses sent up to the suite for you to choose from when we get there,” he suggested. “But we need to get moving. What else do you need? You can do your hair and makeup and all that on the jet. We’ll stop along the way to the airport for whatever you need.”
I could barely think with everything he threw at me. “This is crazy. Do you know how crazy this is?” Yet it felt so right. All of it.
Especially Sofia barreling into the room. “Are you friends again? Are you coming with us?” she asked, taking my hand in hers.
This might have been the best part. Getting the chance to say, “Yes, sweetie. I’m going back with you. I’m not going to leave you again.”
Her joy-filled shrieks were music to my ears.
* * *
Here we were again. Just like before. In the same suite at the Plaza, putting Sofia to bed after picking her up from Colton’s and Rose’s penthouse.
For some reason, it seemed like none of them were too surprised when I showed up at the big party that was held down at the pier owned by Travis’ company.
My head was still spinning a little after all the champagne and dancing.
Tonight felt like a new beginning, and new beginnings needed to be celebrated.
But now, we would celebrate in other ways. I closed the door to her room before crossing the hall to the master bedroom. He was waiting, his shirt unbuttoned, the duvet pulled back. The sight of him was a key turning in my ignition, making my engine roar to life.
Hours spent fighting to keep our hands off each other left us crashing into each other at the foot of his king-size bed.
It was familiar and new at the same time, with every touch feeling like the first. He was wearing too many clothes, and I started solving a problem with trembling hands while soaking in every hot, frantic kiss.
He tasted like rich, smoky scotch, a flavor I would always connect with him.
“Fuck, I love you,” he grunted out between kisses, his hand sliding up my back and taking hold of the zipper to my strapless, dark red de la Renta.
I felt like a princess in it, sophisticated, beautiful.
That didn’t mean I wouldn’t help him take it off me since I wanted the touch of his hands more than anything.
He reclaimed every inch of my skin as he laid me back on the bed, then traced the same paths with his mouth and tongue.
I lost myself to pleasure, letting it take over for everything else. Pure sensation. The heat building spread to my pussy, making it flood for his tongue to lap up once he settled between my thighs.
Tears of joy rolled down the sides of my face and soaked into my hair as he explored me again, taking his time, licking my aching pussy like he was starved for me. His fingers slid inside and massaged my G-spot in time with his tongue over my clit.
My legs closed around his head and squeezed as a sudden rush of heat raced over me.
“I’m coming!” I gasped just as it happened, and my hips shot up off the bed.
He held on, riding it out, forcing me to take everything he gave.
His deep, throaty grunts wound themselves around me and made the heat explode again.
I was a shuddering mess by the time he let up, growling and grunting as he chafed my inner thighs with his scruffy cheeks.
“Come here.” I held out my arms, which he fell into after he finished stripping down. I never expected to have him like this again, stretched out over me, with his weight settling on me. So close, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces before his wide head pushed inside me.
I gasped into his mouth, his tongue darting out to stroke mine. “Every inch of you,” he whispered, working his way in, driving me crazy the longer he dragged it out. “I need to feel every inch. You have no idea how much I missed this.”
“I think I do,” I whispered back, locking my legs around his hips and pulling him deeper. I needed all of him. All my life.
“You were so beautiful tonight.” He pulled back slowly and treated me to another long, slow stroke. This was what I needed. Letting it build, working into it. Staring into his eyes. Feeling his soul touch mine.
“Thank you for wanting me there. With you.” God, he was so big all over, and I took my time refreshing my memory while my fingers traced every ripple of his muscles.
“You are the only woman I want with me for the rest of my life. Forever.” He punctuated the word with a sharp thrust that made me gasp through my teeth. “Always.”
My nails sank into his shoulders, and I nodded, working with him once the heat was too unbearable. “Always,” I whispered. “You and me.”
He moved a little faster, and I matched his rhythm and pace until the bed creaked, and I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Yes! Yes!” I hissed, jerking my hips, losing control as I arched my back when the wave broke.
He followed, groaning against my neck. The rush of warmth and his helpless moans unleashed something in me.
It opened the floodgates and let all of the emotion flow through.
I was still trembling in his arms, weeping softly when he lifted his head in confusion.
“Oh, fuck. What happened? What did I do?” He rolled to the side and looked me over like he was searching for an injury.
I could only shake my head at first, touching a hand to his cheek. “No,” I whispered. “I’m okay.”
“Why are you crying?” He gathered me in his arms again, gentle now.
I clung to him, letting him hold and rock me until I could explain. “I’m just so happy. I missed you so much. I didn’t think this was possible. I still feel like it’s not real.”
“It’s real. We are real. I love you, and this is the first night of the rest of our lives together.
” He chuckled softly against the top of my head, and my heart opened wider at the sound.
“After the day we’ve had, we should probably get to sleep.
Somebody expects us to take her to see the tree at Rockefeller Center tomorrow. ”
I couldn’t wait. For tomorrow, the day after that, and every day that followed.