Remember Me Tomorrow

ELEVEN

J ay is not on ResConnect at eight o’clock like he said he’d be. Part of me is a little worried—I mean, he’s just weeks away from disappearing, so I know he’s in danger. Probably. I wish we could leave messages for each other somehow.

I tackle my schoolwork and try not to check ResConnect too many times to see if his name pops up. But I do check it a lot. He’s never there. I want to ask him about Jack Gormley, and if he thinks going to this party is a good idea, or if Bailey Cressman could be the Birdwatcher. So far this mystery has more questions than answers, and I feel like I’m trying to travel upstream without a paddle. And strangely, the only person really keeping me on course—Jay—isn’t even here.

But the biggest question plaguing me today is why the Jay I know, the slightly goofy, considerate, and nice person, doesn’t match the picture I’m getting from almost everyone else. Maybe the Jay I know from his universe and the Jay everyone else knows from my universe aren’t the same person. The universes are 85 percent similar. Universes. Jesus Christ, what has happened to my life?

I get in bed at around ten thirty, and the moment I turn my lights off, my phone buzzes. Finally.

But it’s not Jay.

Gracie: We’re in! Aster got the three of us invites for Jack Gormley’s party on Saturday night.

Aleeza: That’s great. Thank Aster for me.

Gracie: This will be a whole other kind of crowd. I have no idea what I’ll wear. We should get ready together.

I have no idea what I’ll wear either. In fact, I have no clue what rich Toronto people wear to parties. Hell, I don’t know what non -rich Toronto people wear to parties. The only party I’ve been to here was that Halloween party, and somehow, I don’t think a tweed jacket and bowler hat will be appropriate this time. But I don’t want Gracie to think I don’t know what I’m doing.

Aleeza: Nah, it’s fine. I’m not concerned.

I am very, very concerned.

Gracie: We’ll talk later to figure out how we’ll get there. I’m excited. Jack’s place is apparently unreal.

I’m not excited. I’m terrified. But I am determined too. I look over at Tentacle Ted. The person who hurt Jay could be at that party. I don’t know if it was Bailey Cressman, or Jack Gormley, or one of the other trust-fund kids. Jay said that it’s hard to find a happily ever after in a place you’re not supposed to be. And from what I know about Jay and this crowd, he was never supposed to be one of them.

And I know I’m not supposed to be one of them either.

When I wake up the next morning, the first thing I do, even before checking my email or socials, is check ResConnect. When I see Jay’s name as one of the two registered residents of room 225, I breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t realize how afraid I was when I didn’t hear from him yesterday. Just because he disappears in November in my timeline doesn’t mean that’s when he’ll go missing in his timeline. Ugh. This time-skip is giving me a headache.

But his name on my phone screen means Jay is okay. It means he’s in this room now. Well, not now. Then.

I look over to Jay’s empty bed, and Tentacle Ted stares back at me. Is Jay there sleeping right now? Or maybe he’s awake and looking at his phone? Is he covered with a warm duvet, or a thin sheet? Is he wearing a shirt? And where was he last night? Did he have one of his no-commitment hookups?

I exhale. Mia was right. I do have to stop lusting after unavailable guys.

My phone buzzes. It’s ResConnect.

Jay: You awake?

Aleeza: Yes.

I don’t want to ask him where he was last night, because it’s none of my business. But I don’t know what to say. So I say nothing, because I’m awkward.

Jay: Sorry I bailed out on Back to the Future last night. I ended up meeting up with my cousin for dinner instead of lunch and stayed late.

I smile. He didn’t ditch me. He was working on our investigation.

Aleeza: Can I ask her if she’ll talk to me now?

Jay: Yep. I told her all about the new friend I met on campus. She’s delighted with you already. She even painted you a little octopus. I’ll figure out how to get it to you. Or even better—I’ll give it to you in person when I’m safe and sound.

That’s the first time either of us mentioned the possibility of Jay and me meeting in person one day. I smile. He sends me his cousin Manal’s Instagram account and tells me to contact her there.

Jay: Fair warning, though. I’m pretty sure she thinks you and I are secretly dating, or I have a major crush on you. I had to tell her how much I trust you and value our friendship, and of course she jumped to conclusions. She was relieved when she found out you’re Indian. And you being from a Muslim family was the cherry on the sundae.

I exhale. How am I going to talk to this person who thinks I’m dating Jay? As soon as she meets me, she’ll see that I’m nothing like those perfect, tall, wavy-haired girls.

Aleeza: I’m not religious, though.

Jay: Neither am I. But my family is, and Manal knows now they’ll approve of you.

I don’t know what to say about any of this, so I change the subject.

Aleeza: Aster managed to get us an invitation to Jack Gormley’s party on Saturday.

Jay: Seriously? You’re going to a party at Jack’s house?

Aleeza: Yeah, it’s the only way we can get close to Bailey Cressman. The person who did this to you could be there. What’s the story with Jack? Aster said he’s a bit shady. You two are friends?

Jay: Jack’s an interesting one. But yeah, we’re good friends. It’s just ... Jack’s parties are ... a lot.

Aleeza: Sex, drugs, and rock n roll?

Jay: Minus the rock n roll. It won’t be your scene.

For some reason, him assuming I’m too naive for this party bothers me.

Aleeza: Aster said this Birdwatching thing is something Jack would do.

Jay: It is his style, but I don’t think he’d do that to me. Then again maybe he would. Jack’s a bit of an enigma. He has his demons too.

This isn’t making sense. Jay seems to be telling me to stay away from Jack while acknowledging that Jack may be involved in his disappearance.

Aleeza: So you don’t think I should go to the party?

Jay: Honestly, I would consider anyone who would turn up at Jack’s party a suspect. But there has got to be a better way to get access to them.

Aleeza: I’ll be fine. Gracie and Aster are coming too. Emma said Bailey talks a lot when she’s drunk, and she knows who the Birdwatcher is. It’s the best place to get her to confess.

Jay: I don’t like the idea of you being there.

Aleeza: Why? I’ve been to huge parties before. I went to a party at the campus pub for Halloween dressed as Dr. Watson, and people laughed at me, and Mia ditched me and yet I survived.

I close my eyes. I do actually care what people think of me. I hated being the object of ridicule that night. I try not to think about that Halloween party too much. The memory is ... unsettling. It was the beginning of the end for me and Mia.

Jay: The crowd at Jack’s are vultures. You’re sweet and small town, and you love books and octopuses. You’re too pure for their world.

Aleeza: You think I’m a naive child.

Jay: I don’t think you’re a child at all. I don’t mean that you’re too pure in a bad way. Far from it. You’re

He doesn’t finish that sentence.

Aleeza: You don’t even know me. And don’t forget, I’m going to this party for YOU. I’m trying to save you.

He doesn’t write back for a while. I get ready for class—I’m not going to miss my politics lecture because my roommate decides to go all overprotective of me. Outside of our conversations, he doesn’t know a thing about me. I’m the one investigating him, not the other way around.

Jay: I DO know you. We’re talking right now. We’ve met.

Aleeza: I mean in the real world. In the same time.

Jay: I saw you yesterday.

My butt falls heavily back on my bed.

Aleeza: What? When?

Jay: I was in the library looking for books on temporal paradoxes and the Novikov self-consistency principle, and when I turned a corner, I full-on crashed into a very cute girl wearing an octopus sweatshirt. You dropped your notebook.

My breath hitches. I remember that. It happened. I remember him smiling at me when he apologized for the collision, and I remember thinking that his smile looked too big for his face. I even remember thinking that I didn’t have a lot of meet-cutes, and bumping into someone in a library should have been my meet-cute. But I was too scared to say anything and ran away.

Jay: You turned the cutest shade of pink. I’d seen your Instagram, but you’re different in person. If I said something more than “sorry” to you, I thought I’d blow up the universe or something.

Aleeza: I remember that. It happened.

Jay: Really? So sometimes what I do does happen for you too. I’m flattered you remember me. You probably bump into a lot of people. Why do you look down when someone talks to you?

This is awkward and weird.

Aleeza: I don’t with everyone, but you’re cool and good looking and I was afraid to look at your face after coming into physical contact with you.

I can’t believe I said that. Why don’t I have a filter on ResConnect? It takes him a bit of time to respond.

Jay: You think I’m good looking?

Aleeza: You know you’re good looking. And I can’t believe I admitted that. Can I retract a message across time?

Jay: You’re cute, too, but also kind of sexy in your tentacle wear. Like ... I kinda get it now. All those arms. The suction cups.

Aleeza: JAY . . .

Jay: Right. Your interest in octopuses is totally G-rated. We’re not even going to acknowledge the existence of tentacle erotica.

If he thought I was cute when I turned red in the library, he’d think I was downright adorable right now.

And also, what am I doing? Flirting with Jay Hoque across time? I need to change the subject.

Aleeza: What are temporal paradoxes and Novikov whatever?

Jay: Time travel physics. Didn’t understand any of it.

Aleeza: But if you were in the library looking up this anomaly, then how could I remember bumping into you in my timeline? In my timeline, we’d never spoken before. So you wouldn’t be researching time travel physics in the library.

Jay: Yeah, it’s weird. I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t remember us meeting in the library. That would mean that our timelines are different enough that it would be safe for me to ask out past Aleeza, since you, current-Aleeza, wouldn’t remember it at all.

I exhale. Is he real? Is all this real?

Aleeza: Are you making fun of me again?

It takes him a while to write back.

Jay: No, I’m not making fun of you. I mean it. Meeting you has me wondering if I’ve been drawn to the wrong kind of girl this whole time.

I don’t know what to do with the fact that Jay Hoque thought about asking me on a date.

Aleeza: You’re about to disappear, and you’re analyzing your relationship preferences?

Jay: The fact that I’m about to disappear is WHY I’m overthinking everything, wondering if I made the right choices with my life.

His impending doom is really messing him up. It would certainly mess me up. And it’s not like he can go to therapy or anything. I’m the only one he can talk to.

Aleeza: I get it. I know that it’s nothing like what you’re going through, but I was terrified last night when you weren’t here.

He doesn’t respond. I put my hands over my face. Jay’s never going to speak to me again. We’re only friends. How can I expect him to tell me where he is all the time? I’m being clingy.

But every time his name isn’t there on ResConnect, I worry it will never be there again. All day I’m talking to people about him being kidnapped or hurting himself or running away. Or being killed.

The only time I know he’s fine, that he’s safe, is when we’re in this room together.

Jay: I wish there was a way for us to keep in contact when we’re out in the world.

Aleeza: Me too. Who knows? Things could happen differently for you. You could disappear on a different day. Or not at all.

Jay: And something bad could go down at Jack’s party. And neither of us would know what happened.

Aleeza: I have to go to Jack’s. I’ll be okay.

It’s the only way. Because even if I can’t save Jay in my timeline, I have to save him in his.

Jay: I know. Promise me one thing though ... Come home after the party and message me right away. No matter what time it is. Don’t spend the night there.

Aleeza: I’m not interested in spending the night at a sketchy, snobby party.

Jay: Promise me anyway. And we’ll talk before you go about what you can expect. Jack is ... a lot. Deep down, he’s a good guy, but you have to get through a lot of not good to see it.

Aleeza: Okay.

Jay: I wish I could come with you.

Aleeza: To protect me?

I know I’m not supposed to like the fact that he’s going all caveman possessive on me, but when was the last time a friend actually cared about what happens to me?

Jay: Yes, and also, you’ll probably be the most interesting person there.

I exhale. I have no idea what’s going on with us today.

Aleeza: I have politics in an hour, and I need breakfast.

Jay: Okay. One more thing. If something happens to me when I’m not in the room, I’ll leave you a message.

Aleeza: How?

Jay: I’ll find a way. Back to the Future tonight? Eight o’clock?

Aleeza: Yes, absolutely. Looking forward to it.

Jay: Me too.