32. Zoey
32
Zoey
C hristmas and New Year’s Eve came and went in the blink of an eye, and before I know it, I’m waking up on my seventeenth birthday to the sound of pebbles striking my bedroom window. A warm smile spreads across my face, and I stretch with a groan as I open my eyes.
Another pebble hits my window, and I can’t wipe the grin off my face. It’s not hard to guess who’s standing outside my window. Throwing my blanket back, I get out of bed and trudge across my room to open the blinds and peer out into the front yard, immediately laughing.
Noah stands in the middle of the lawn with an old boom box resting on his shoulder. In one hand, he clutches a stack of papers, and the boom box wobbles as he reaches down to grab another pebble from the pile at his feet. I open the window, more than ready to throw myself right out of it and drop straight into his arms, but I’ll settle for hearing whatever it is he’s come to say.
Only, he doesn’t say a word as he reaches up to the boom box and presses a button, filling the whole street with the sweet sounds of My Neck, My Back by Khia .
My cheeks flame with embarrassment, and my gaze quickly darts up and down the street, hoping no one decides to come out and see what the hell all that noise is. “NOAH!” I hiss, reconsidering the whole jumping out the window thing, only it wouldn’t be to drop into his strong arms, it’d be to kill him.
Noah doesn’t say a word, just simply smiles as he holds up the papers in his hand with big bold letters scrawled across the first one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZOZO
The first page falls away, and I suddenly don’t care about his choice of music as I read his second message.
I AM EMBARRASSINGLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
A wide smile pulls across my face, and the next paper falls away.
SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT I FEEL IT’S MY RESPONSIBILITY TO TELL YOU…
I wait on bated breath, the anticipation burning through my veins. But then he drops the next piece of paper, and that wide smile vanishes as though it never even existed.
YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING LATE FOR SCHOOL
“WHAT?” I screech, my head whipping back toward my bedside table to look at the clock, seeing that I’m not just really late, I’m it’s just about lunchtime kind of late. “Oh shit.”
I grab the window and yank it down, Khia’s demands to lick her all over now muffled through the closed window, but it does nothing to muffle the barking laughter that quickly follows. Rolling my eyes, I ignore him and quickly scramble around my room, searching for something to wear before dashing into the bathroom and throwing my hair into a ponytail. I don’t bother with any makeup, and before I know it, I’m grabbing my things and hurrying downstairs.
Noah sits at the island counter, helping himself to the muffin Mom left out for me this morning, and I pluck it out of his hand before shoving it into my mouth and giving him a muffin-filled kiss. “You’re an ass,” I say around my muffin.
“Bullshit,” he says, taking my things out of my arms and leading me to the door. “You can’t honestly tell me that you’ve had a better wake-up call than that.”
“Maybe I have,” I challenge, knowing damn well he’s right.
Noah scoffs as we reach the door, and he grips my elbow before pulling me to a stop and turning me to look up into those dark eyes I love so much. He pauses just a moment, his gaze sailing over my face before gently brushing his fingers across my forehead and fixing my unruly hair. “Happy birthday, Zo,” he murmurs, his deep tone sending butterflies soaring through the pit of my stomach.
A soft smile spreads across my lips, and I press up on my tippy toes to give him a proper kiss. His arms curl around my waist and hold me to him, and my knees grow weak as I melt into him. My eyes flutter, and before I lose all sense of control, I pull back just an inch, meeting his dark gaze. “Thank you.”
“Come on, let me get your ass to school.”
I laugh and he drags me out of the house, knowing just how I feel about being late for things, and today, I really outdid myself. We get into his car, and before I know it, we’re pulling into the student parking lot of East View High. There are students everywhere, telling me that the lunch break has already started, and as Noah insists that I wait so he can open the door for me, I find myself gazing at him, my heart pounding in a way it never has before.
He’s so undeniably amazing. Every inch of him is chiseled from stone and sculpted to perfection, and for God knows what reason, he’s decided to love me.
He opens the door, holding out his hand for me to take, and as I lay mine into his, a jolt of electricity fires through me, only this is supercharged, and I quickly realize what this is. I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level, ready to open myself to him and truly be together.
I’m ready for sex.
The mere knowledge of that revelation has butterflies soaring through my stomach again, and as Noah leads me away from the car, I find myself blurting it out. “Noah,” I say, his gaze coming to mine. “I’m ready.”
His brows furrow, and a flash of confusion flickers in his dark eyes. “For what?” he asks. “Lunch?”
“No,” I groan, realizing I’m going to have to spell it out for him. Why now though? Every other time I have anything to say, he seems to pluck the words right out of my head. But he chooses this time not to be able to read my thoughts. “I’m ready . . . for it. ”
“It?” he questions, confused before a flash of understanding dawns on him and his eyes widen. “Oooh, it. ”
I nod, not really sure what I’m supposed to say now. Sex isn’t really something we’ve ever discussed. Things certainly get heated between us, but he’s never gone to make a move further than anything I haven’t already initiated, and I love that about him. Because up until now, we’ve been so clearly on the same page that sex hasn’t needed to be discussed. But this is uncharted waters for me, and I’m going to need him to take the lead.
“Shit, Zo. Way to catch a man off guard,” he says as we stop in the middle of the student parking lot, neither of us willing to have this conversation in front of anyone else. He steps right into me, his fingers lifting my chin. “Are you sure? Because my mom—”
I blink, trying to keep the smirk off my face but failing miserably. “Let me get this straight,” I say, cutting him off. “I tell you that I’m ready to get naked with you, and the first thing you think about is your mom? Wow! I was expecting a lot of things to come from this, but certainly not that.”
Noah gives me a blank stare. “Are you done?”
I smile innocently then let out a heavy breath and nod. “Yes,” I say. “It’s out of my system. Go on. What were you going to say?”
“That my mom has already had this conversation with me.”
“Eh?”
“Yeah, trust me, it was even more uncomfortable than it sounds,” he tells me. “But what she was saying is that she wanted me to really make sure that you were ready and not just wanting something that you think you should have because everyone else is doing it or because you think it would make me happy.”
My heart swells in my chest, and I push up to kiss him again. “Thank you for caring that much about me,” I tell him. “But you know that I’m not the type of girl to do something because of peer pressure or because everyone else is doing something. As for what I think would make you happy. I’d be a fool to assume that you didn’t want to, but I would also be a fool if I thought that you would ever sleep with me without being certain that I was ready. You’ve always had my best interests at heart, and you’ve always protected me from everything, even when it was myself I needed protecting from.”
“So, you’re sure?”
I nod, a shy smile gracing my lips. “I’m ready, Noah. I want to be with you.”
He leans in and kisses me as his hand falls to my waist, slowly curling around my back and pulling me in against him. “You don’t mean right now, do you?”
“Yes, right now,” I tell him without skipping a beat. “I want to strip down and get with you right here in the middle of the student parking lot.” He gives me a firm stare, clearly not appreciating my teasing, and I try to smother my smile before getting serious. “No,” I finally say. “I don’t mean right now, or that it has to be today. Just when it feels right.”
“I can work with that,” he says before his gaze lingers on mine, those dark eyes filled with curiosity. “I don’t want to screw this up, Zo. It’ll be your first time, and I want it to be just the way you’ve always imagined.”
“I don’t really know how I imagined it,” I tell him. “I don’t want anything special or some big grand, scheduled event because that’s going to make me feel awkward and pressured, and the last thing I want is to be awkward about it. I just . . . I don’t know. I want it to be spontaneous and in the moment.”
His gaze softens, and he drops his forehead against mine, his fingers tightening on my waist. “Anything for you, Zozo.”
My hand rests against his chest, feeling the steady thumping of his heart, a beat that isn’t wild or anxious, but sure and confident. “I trust you with everything I am,” I tell him. “You’ll take care of me, and just because it’s you and me, it’s going to be even more perfect than I could have ever imagined.”
His lips come down on mine, kissing me softly. “I love you, Zo,” he tells me, his tone unwavering. “But now that you’ve told me that, there’s no way I want to share you with the rest of the school. Let me take you out. We’ll spend your birthday just you and me.”
My gaze shifts up toward the school, and the second I take in the overcrowded hallways and immature boys screwing around to impress one another, I glance back at Noah. “Nothing would make me happier,” I tell him. “Let’s get out of here.”
H azel screeches beside me at the dinner table, her eyes widening in pain as she reaches down and grips her leg. “Owwww,” she groans, glaring at Noah. “What the hell was that for?”
“Ahhhh, shit, sorry,” he says, trying to muffle his laugh but failing. “I was aiming for Zoey and didn’t expect to find your shin. What the hell is it doing over here anyway? Did your legs grow ten inches overnight?”
“My shin doesn’t accept your apology,” she throws back at him, fixing him with a glare that could bring the most vicious armies to their knees.
I hold back a grin as I meet Noah’s stare across the table, his dark eyes shimmering with laughter, and that’s all my control can handle before I burst out laughing right along with him. Hazel huffs and puffs and crosses her arms over her chest.
We get side-eyed from the parents, my dad’s eyes lingering on us the longest. I hold his concerned stare, narrowing my gaze to let him know that I’ve caught him, but he doesn’t look away.
I know what he’s thinking. His little girl is growing up, and she’s putting herself in a position to get her heart broken again. Or maybe he’s just realized that we’ve been together for a while now and perhaps that’s when things might start progressing.
I shake the thought from my head. I can’t think about the idea that my dad might be concerned his daughter is ready to have sex. The thought sends an uncomfortable shiver sailing down my spine. But then, if I was right in my first thought, that maybe he’s just worried that I could get my heart broken, then he needs to know that’s not going to happen. Noah isn’t about to take off again. He’s right where he belongs, and he knows it. The two little matching infinity tattoos we got today are proof of that. Not that my parents need to know about them. Nonetheless, to have this small symbol of what Noah and I share marked on my body for all eternity is more than I could have asked for.
My tattoo is across my ribs, barely the size of a grape, while Noah’s is directly over his heart. I told him it was cheesy to get it there, but he didn’t care. He told me that maybe he’s just a cheesy kinda guy, then he kissed me before telling me to sit down and shut up so he could get it over and done with.
Noah’s never been one for needles. He didn’t exactly have a panic attack or turn into a blubbering mess, but he went out of his comfort zone to share something with me.
I carry on with my birthday dinner but don’t really eat much. My appetite just hasn’t been great today, and after all the effort Mom and Dad have put into making tonight special, I immediately feel guilty.
I’ve heard the phrase, How many times will our precious girl turn seventeen a million times already, but it was expected. They go all out for my and Hazel’s birthdays, celebrating every single one of them to the fullest extent because they know what it feels like to wonder if their baby girl will ever see another birthday.
I force as much dinner down my throat as I can, ignoring the way Noah watches me through a suspicious, narrowed stare. “So,” Mom says, glancing our way and forcing the heat of Noah’s stare off my face. “Are you getting excited for college? Not long to go now.”
Noah nods. “Yeah. Just need to get through a few more months of classes until graduation.”
Aunt Maya sends a smirk his way. “How on earth are you two going to survive being apart from each other like that?” she teases.
“We’ll be fine,” I say, rolling my eyes, but honestly, the closer we get to the end of the school term, the more anxious I become about it. I’ve tried to be confident and hide my worries. After everything Noah has been through already, I refuse to make him feel bad for having to go away, but the cracks in my resolve are starting to show.
The rest of dinner passes slowly, and even though my mood plummets, I force a smile across my face as Mom and Dad insist on singing “Happy Birthday” to me over a big cake. But all I can think about is the distance.
Two hours. Two light-years away.
It’s the mantra that’s been on repeat in my head ever since Noah’s championship game, and every single time, it darkens my soul just a little bit more. In the grand scheme of things, it’s only a year, and I’ll still see him as often as I can, but over the past six months, he’s stormed back into my life in such an intense way that I no longer know how to breathe without him.
We sit in the den watching The Notebook on Dad’s prized flat-screen TV. It’s way too big to be considered normal, but he couldn’t resist getting one. Though, part of me wonders if he only bought it because a guy at his work got one and wouldn’t stop boasting about it.
The movie plays, but as I watch the characters’ hearts break, I don’t take any of it in.
“What was that?” Noah asks, pulling me into his side, his lips brushing over my temple.
“Huh?”
“At dinner. One mention of college and you disappeared.”
“It’s nothing,” I say, looking up and forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”
“Out with it, Zo,” he says. “You don’t think I’ve noticed how anxious you’ve been getting and the bullshit ‘We’ll be fine ’ responses you keep giving everyone who asks? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
“Don’t,” I say, having to look away to hide my tears.
“No way,” he says, grabbing my chin and forcing my gaze back to his, his brows furrowing as he sees my glassy eyes. “This is fucking killing me. Let me in, Zo. Do you not think we’ll be okay?”
“No,” I say, throwing myself off the couch and hastily wiping my eyes, immediately pacing through the den as he watches me silently. I start feeling lightheaded, but I ignore it, needing to share this with him. “It’s nothing like that. Of course we’ll be fine. It’s just . . . I’m scared, okay? I’m terrified of how much it’s going to hurt while you’re away.”
“Zo,” he murmurs, inching toward the edge of the couch as though he’s about to reach out and pull me back into his arms, but I move further away, needing just a bit of space. Otherwise, I’ll never get the words out.
My head spins, and an instant headache booms in my skull. “Don’t try to give me a pep talk now,” I tell him, sensing it coming. “I know we’ll be fine, and in a year when I’m there with you, this whole conversation will feel ridiculous. Despite knowing that you’ll call me every day, and I’ll still be part of your world, I know what it feels like to be away from you, how bad it hurts when I can’t just reach out and hold you when I’m having a shit day.”
My head really pounds, and I stop pacing, swaying a little on my feet.
“Zo?” he questions.
I reach up to wipe the fresh tears off my face, but the swaying gets worse, and before I know it, the ground is coming up fast.
“ZOEY!”
Noah throws himself off the couch, his arms scooping under me just as I hit the ground, and he immediately pulls me into his chest as I go limp in his arms. “Zo,” he says, gently shaking me as my eyes flutter open, looking up into his terror-filled ones. “Zo, baby. Are you okay?”
I close my eyes again, groaning as my head pounds. “I don’t feel good.”
“Shit,” he says, reaching up and feeling my forehead. “I think you’re getting sick. You’ve gone pale.”
My bottom lip pouts, and I let out a heavy sigh. “This isn’t how I wanted to spend the rest of my birthday.”
“I know,” he says, sitting me up just a little, the movement making my head spin worse. “When was the last time you had water? Can you get up?”
“Okay, Mom,” I mutter, forcing myself up, despite the way I wobble on my feet. “I had two glasses of water with my dinner. I’m fine. I’m probably just coming down with something. You know, half the school has had the flu this week.”
His face scrunches with distaste. He’s not a fan of sharing germs when other people are sick, but he hasn’t dared to take his hands off me. His arm curls around my waist, and as I wobble my way out of the den, Noah decides he can’t handle it, and he scoops me into his strong arms.
I curl into his chest as he walks through my house, murmuring something to my mom about a headache. She promises to bring me some painkillers and a glass of water, and before I know it, I’m tucked into my bed, curled into Noah’s side.
“You sure you’re okay?” he questions, his fingers brushing through my hair.
“I’m already starting to feel better,” I tell him honestly. “Maybe I just got too worked up over the whole college thing.”
“Ya think?” he scoffs, a smile in his rich tone.
I yawn, despite it barely being eight in the evening. “I got you something,” he tells me as he digs into his pocket and pulls out a little velvet box.
He hands it to me, and I gape at him. “You’ve been carrying that around all day?”
Noah laughs. “Maybe.”
I roll my eyes and take it from him, a strange mix of excitement and anticipation burning through my body. I hold my breath, my fingers braced against the little box, and as I open it, it takes my breath away.
A beautiful gold necklace stares back at me—a dainty, subtle chain that drops down to a gorgeous pendant, the letters Z and N wrapped in a heart and making my own flutter. I glance up at him, wonder shining in my eyes. “You had this made for me?”
“Of course I did,” he says as though any other option simply doesn’t exist to him.
“Thank you,” I tell him, tilting my chin and giving him a small kiss, a wide smile spreading across my lips. “It’s incredible. I love it.” Then gazing down at the way the Z and N so perfectly fit together, I pull it out of the box and hand it to him. “Will you put it on me?”
“You’re about to go to bed.”
“And?” I question. “I’m never taking it off.”
Knowing a losing fight when he sees one, he takes the necklace from my fingers and we each sit up as I brush my hair over my shoulder. He loops the stunning gold chain around my neck, brushing his fingers over my skin as he fastens it at the back. His lips drop to my shoulder, and he gently kisses me there as I glance back to meet his warm gaze.
“It’s perfect,” he tells me, my cheeks flushing, knowing he’s not talking about the chain.
“I love you,” I tell him. “With everything that I am. You’re my bestest friend. ”
He pulls me back into his arms, scooching us down in bed as he pulls me into his chest, and as my fingers run over the beautiful pendant hanging from my neck, his lips press against my temple. “You’re my whole world, Zoey James,” he tells me. “I don’t know how I would ever survive without you.”