Chapter Twelve
I jumped in the shower to wash away the sand and saltwater before grabbing a snack and sitting down at my desk to knock out some work.
By the time I was caught up, it was a little after four o’clock and my mother should be home from picking Sadie up at camp. I would call early since I wouldn’t be home around the time I usually spoke with them each evening.
I emailed the staff to text me if anyone needed anything. In my room, I settled on my bed and picked up my tablet to video call Sadie.
When she came on the screen, she was running away from her bed where she’d propped her tablet up against the pillows.
Sadie turned back, wearing her favorite princess dress along with her explorer hat. Toy binoculars were on a string around her neck, a boa with pink and purple feathers tied around her waist.
“Hi, Momma!” She struck a pose. “Ta-da!”
“That is quite a getup you got going on there.”
“I’m the exploring princess, Jane of the Jungle Castle.”
“Very adventurous and chic,” I confirmed.
I asked about her day and heard a story about Wesley, a boy who ‘ thinks he knows everything, even though I got two more questions answered and RIGHT during our timed test, so who does he think he is anyway?’
I chatted with my animated daughter, who did most of the talking until her fountain dried up. “Can you go get Grandma so I can say hello?” I asked.
Sadie ran from the room already calling out, “Grandma! The queen mother would like an audience!”
A few moments later, my mother came on screen, drying her hands on a kitchen towel as she looked toward the doorway. “I said one more cookie, Sadie. You’re going to ruin your dinner! And if you are a princess, your mom would be the queen. That makes ME the queen mother, thank you very much.” She sat on the bed and leaned forward, bringing her face far too close to the camera. “Hi, honey.”
I decided not to tell her I could see up her nose.
Before I could say anything, my mother glanced back at the doorway and spoke low. “Another envelope came today.”
I chewed my lip. A second had arrived before I even left for Florida. One a week so far, an awful lot after over five years of silence from Drew.
“I put it in the bottom drawer of your desk with the other two, think nothing of it,” she told me .
I tried to push it from my mind as we chatted about Sadie and a few home-related items. I told her things were going well, I was getting lots of rest and work done, and thanked her again for the break.
“Of course, I’m sure you needed it. Sadie can sometimes be a full-time job all on her own.”
The little girl came running back into her room just then. Her fanciest crown was now perched on top of her explorer hat.
“Princess Jungle Jane requests that her juice goblet be refilled post haste.”
My mother turned back to the screen and we both rolled our eyes and then laughed together.
Sadie frowned with little hands on her hips. “How rude!”
“Alright child, hold your royal horses and come tell Her Majesty goodbye.”
Sadie took her grandmother’s place on the bed. “I looooooove you,” she told me as she hugged her arms around herself. A hug from the other was our goodbye whenever I was out of town.
I wrapped my arms around myself as well. “I love you too, Bug. Be a good girl.”
I ended the connection and picked up my phone to call Grace. She was not a fan of video so I never tried to reach her that way. It rang several times before going to voicemail. “It’s Mom. Call when you are free and catch me up on things. Love you.”
I checked the time. It was almost five.
I scrolled to Claire’s name. I chewed my lip while my finger hovered over the call button for a moment, but I shook my head and put the phone down instead. That was a can of worms I didn’t need to open with the time I had left to get ready to go to dinner.
Since returning upstairs, I’d been trying to keep my mind busy to distract myself. Out of ideas, my thoughts settled on the coming evening. Down at the beach, I’d gone from excited to anxious fairly fast after Logan left.
I wrung my hands as I went to the closet to figure out what to wear.
It was 5:44 when I stood in front of the mirror, determined not to change again. Three dresses were already thrown on my bed that I’d put on before discarding.
I settled on a pale purple, knee-length sundress. The back had pretty buttons down the middle until it reached my lower back where it was open, exposing a few inches of skin. I felt super girly and maybe even a little sexy in it. Claire had talked me into buying it during our last shopping trip.
I double-checked my makeup. I rarely wore much, but had added a little bit of eye shadow and a tinted lip gloss in the soft champagne pink I always put on if anything. I’d opted to leave my hair down, letting it air dry so it would have the pretty waves I like. I turned sideways and shook it out; it reached more than halfway down my back now.
“Guess you’ll do,” I told my reflection .
I slipped my feet into a pair of sandals and went to the kitchen. The clock read 5:46.
I turned to the refrigerator, opened the door, stared into it for several seconds then closed it again.
I put a cup I’d left on the counter in the sink. I opened the dishwasher, picked the cup up again, set it on the rack, then closed the dishwasher again.
I went to the desk and checked my phone, no new voicemails. I moved my computer mouse until the monitor lit back up. My work email was still open and I scrolled through it quickly. There was nothing significant to address so I shut down the system for the day.
I returned to the kitchen, turning to the clock as I tapped my fingernails on the counter. 5:49.
I picked up my bag and walked to the door, opened it, stared out at the sky for a few seconds, closed it again then turned and put my back to it, taking a deep, shaky breath.
I was freaking out. Why was I freaking out? Sure, I hadn’t been out alone with a man in over seven years, but that was no reason to freak out, right? It’s not like it was a date. Wait, was it a date?
Logan hadn’t called it a date. Yeah, no. Of course, it wasn’t a date.
We were just two people going out to dinner, something done all the time. He wasn’t interested in me in that way. The sexual tension I was feeling was all in my head and on my end. Logan liked Sadie and probably wanted things to be more comfortable between the two of us so it would be easier to be in each other’s company when my little girl got here and he kept his promise to her.
“It’s not a date,” I said out loud.
I looked at the clock yet again. 5:52.
I took another deep breath and opened the door. This time I stepped out, closed and locked it then turned and started down the breezeway. “Not a date,” I told myself again.
I hesitated to leave the elevator when it opened on ground level. During the ride down, I’d had the horrifying thought that Logan might not show up. A rush of relief ran through me when I saw him standing beside his jeep when I came out of the walkway.
He was wearing gray slacks and a well-made button-up in light blue. His tan popped against the light shade and it made his eyes seem brighter. He looked gorgeous of course.
Logan took his hands out of his pockets and stepped toward me with a smile. “Hi. You look very nice.”
“Thank you. So do you.”
“Uh,” he was looking at my hair, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He pointed over his shoulder at the open jeep.
“Oh! No problem.” I pulled a hairclip out of my bag. “I came prepared.”
Logan took my hand and helped me step up through the opening. I arranged my dress and put on my seat belt as he strolled around and climbed behind the wheel. Once settled, he waited for me to finish clipping up my hair before heading out of the parking lot.
“So where to?” I asked.
“Have you been to Tides?”
“Ohhh.” My mouth watered at the name and I eyed him sideways. “Crab legs.”
Logan looked pleased. “Alright then, it’s a date,” he said casually, turning the jeep toward Daytona.
His focus was on the road so he missed my eyes widen.
As Logan drove, he started asking me questions about my job. He was curious how I’d ended up in insurance. Talking about my career came easy so I focused on his questions and tried to loosen up.
“Grace was in school full-time when we moved to Georgia, so we decided I should look for a job for some extra income. I went on a few interviews with no luck, and then I applied at the brokerage for a receptionist position.”
I watched the beach pass by as I reminisced.
“During my interview, the manager told me they were looking for someone interested in job growth who could transition to a licensed agent within six months. I knew next to nothing about insurance but was hungry to prove to myself that I could do something besides be a mom and housewife. I managed to sell myself into getting the job and two months later, I passed my exams and had my license.”
Logan kept asking questions so I kept talking. It was probably boring to someone not in the industry, but rambling was helping me relax.
“I imagine it was a big change for all of you, with you going back to work after so many years at home taking care of Grace,” he observed.
I nodded. My job had impacted our home life quite a lot.
Drew liked the extra money coming in but had resented that the house wasn’t as neat and that dinners were simpler during the week. I tried to make him understand how hard it was for me to work a full day and still handle all the domestics as I’d done before. He didn’t put much effort into helping me when he was home, and the house always stayed cleanest when he was away for training.
Drew was also often social while I was more of a homebody. I didn’t have a problem with him going out with friends but it did make me sad that I was hardly ever invited to join him for anything. Especially once we were both working and had even less free time to spend together.
And then I’d started worrying that he wasn't always out with friends. At least not “friends” I knew about. He would get text messages and grin at his phone as he responded, telling me it was work if I asked. He began coming home later than me sometimes, going off to take a shower right away without even saying hello. I tried to convince myself that nothing was going on.
I stared out the windshield. One weekend I’d made Drew his favorite dinner…
He came home hours after he said to expect him back from a fishing trip with a friend.
She was upset when he finally showed up and sat down at the table like it was no big deal that he was so late while she warmed his meal up again.
She couldn’t take it anymore. “Where have you been?” she asked him pointedly as she sat down across from him.
He picked up his fork, visibly annoyed. “Fishing. And then we stopped for a few beers.”
She watched him begin to eat. It was 90 degrees outside, his clothes had no sweat stains, and his hair and skin were immaculate and dry.
“Why was your phone off? And why do you look like you’ve had a shower?” She looked toward the door. “If I go check the car’s gas gauge, is it going to be almost full?” She started to stand. “Since I filled it up yesterday and you said the lake was only 10 miles—"
He threw his plate at the wall behind her, pieces of porcelain and chicken marsala raining down over her head .
She stared at him, wide-eyed and shaking, as he stood up and shoved away from the table, toppling his chair over while he glared at her.
“I’m not in the mood for your bullshit,” he spit out before storming out of the house.
She cleaned up the mess in tears, thankful her daughter was at a friend’s house for a playdate.
I cleared my throat. “Yes, it was a big adjustment for all of us.” I focused the conversation back on my history with the company. “I evolved into a strong agent in the personal lines department. After three years, my boss promoted me to commercial account management so I could start learning the ins and outs of business insurance. That was my position when we moved back to Tennessee.”
I went on to tell Logan about my three promotions in the time since and that now, after almost 12 years with the company, I was the brokerage manager, supervising the whole staff.
I’d brought him up to present as we arrived at the restaurant and he pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine.
Logan turned to me with a look of respect. “Good for you, Madison. That is quite an achievement.”
I liked hearing his praise.
“You’re the manager… from another state?” he asked, that part puzzling him.
I smiled with a shrug .
“Our owner closed the office and went virtual several years ago. I suspect more time to play golf was a big motivator for him. I’m not positive I was intended to be a test subject, but he saw how well it worked with me, so everyone works from home now. We even have a few other out-of-state employees.
“With no staff to oversee in person, but still needing someone to manage everyone, he offered me the position. I have weekly video team meetings and review and monitor everyone through our operating system.”
I saw him assessing me and couldn’t help but toot my own horn a little more.
“I also continue to manage a book of larger accounts; my portfolio is currently at about 2.4 million in premiums. I spend a week in Georgia every quarter for training, reviews, and client meetings.”
Logan’s eyebrow and a corner of his mouth raised. “You are impressive, aren’t you?”
I was proud of the career I’d built and the life I created for my children thanks to it. I might be insecure in many ways, but I was very skilled at my job and knew it.
I sat up straighter and gave him a confident smile.
“Well yes. I am.”