Chapter Thirty-Six
T he world shifted beneath my feet as I stared at my ex-husband. My grip on the door turned my knuckles white as I fought to breathe again.
My eyes darted over Drew in disbelief. He looked the same, but different.
His dark hair was longer than he used to wear it. Even after leaving the military, he’d kept it short and tight the last few months of our marriage. Now it was longer, falling forward to cover his forehead.
Drew looked leaner, but also harder. The t-shirt he was wearing pressed against a more muscular chest. The arm he was using to prop himself against the door frame looked larger and more defined.
He must’ve had a lot of time for push-ups in prison . I shoved the snarky thought away, completely random and bizarre to be having at a time like this.
I could see the age on his face. The last time I’d seen Drew he was 35. At 42, he had more lines around his eyes and mouth. It was also leaner, his features sharper. His lips smiled but it didn’t extend to his dark eyes, which looked colder.
My heart thudded in my chest. “H-How did you know I was here?” slipped from my lips.
“Alexis told me ya come here every summer.”
Right, of course. I silently cursed his sister and her big mouth. But if Alexis told him I was here, Drew had to know the girls weren’t with me. Why would he come here instead of going to Tennessee?
“Aren’t ya gonna invite me in, sugar?”
I watched him raise his arm from his side. He was holding a half-empty bottle of whiskey and my heart started pounding harder as he lifted it to his lips.
My eyes snapped down to his legs. His pants were tight enough for me to tell he wasn’t wearing an ankle monitor.
My mouth moved faster than my brain. “You’re supposed to be in Georgia.”
Drew snickered. “See, I figured you’d keep tabs on me. So sweet a’ ya. But no calls? No letters or visits? That’s not very friendly a’ ya, Maddie.”
He was intoxicated, slurring several words. I hoped he wouldn’t notice me closing the door part of the way when he took another drink before smiling at me again.
I fought for control and spoke more carefully this time. “We’re divorced. ”
“Yeah, I know and get it. I fucked up pretty good, huh?”
Drew glanced away as a car door slammed in the parking lot and I inched the door closed a little more before his focus turned back to me.
My mind raced as I tried to think of a way to get him to leave. He was violating parole less than a month into it. He was drunk and I knew from experience how unpredictable he could be in that state. “But look a’ you!” Drew gestured with the bottle. “All skinny an’ shit. We pro’ly wouldn’t be divorced if you’d had that sexy little bod years ago.”
I cringed at his unkind words but didn’t have time to focus on them.
“It’s surprising but… nice to see you.” I tried to sound casual, play dumb, and end this “visit” as quickly as possible. “Uh, I have company coming over. You could come back by tomorrow and—”
The whiskey bottle clinked against the door as he pressed it open. “How ‘bout I keep you company ‘til they get here?”
I stepped back quickly as he came forward and pushed the door closed with the back of his foot.
I fought to appear calm. “Why… why are you here?”
Drew narrowed his eyes at me. “Well, why not? Can’t see my ex-wife to tell her how happy I am she has this great ass life without me? Heard you’re doin’ pretty well for yourself. Solid job still, bouncin’ round being a boss lady.”
He took another step toward me .
“Ya might recollect, I gave you a pretty decent life for a while too. So maybe I deserve a little payback? A little help to get somewhere new. I deserve to disappear. Start a new life. Did my fuckin’ time, ya know.”
I nodded emphatically.
“You agree, Maddie Girl?” he asked, reaching out a hand and touching some strands of hair by my cheek. Flinching, I retreated again, my back hitting the wall behind me. Drew took a step after me. “I deserve a new life too, right?”
My heart felt like it was going to fly out of my chest. I stared into eyes I didn’t even recognize and quickly nodded again.
Drew smiled at me coldly. “Maybe ya wanna help me out? Maybe some cash to send me on my way?” The smile left his lips, but the chill stayed in his eyes. “Maybe that’s the least you could do after movin’ on with my kids and leavin’ me to rot in prison, huh?”
He took another step and put a hand on the wall beside my face.
He started leaning down and I practically screamed. “Yes! O-Of course. I would be happy to help you. Let me get my wallet.”
I held my breath as I pressed my back into the wall and dipped under his arm, relieved when he didn’t try to stop me.
I rushed down the hall to my room. My hands shook as I grabbed all the cash from my purse. I took a deep, shaky breath, and turned back to the doorway but froze when I saw Drew standing there .
I glanced at my phone on the nightstand. I’d been so stupid. I should have locked the door and called for help immediately. In my panic, I hadn’t been thinking straight.
Drew took another long drink andthen set the whiskey bottle down with a loud thud on my bird table as he walked into the room. “I gotta admit, I also heard you were lookin’ like a snack these days. Had to see myself.”
He glanced at the bed and back at me with those cold eyes. I felt sick watching them run down and then back up me, then like I would throw up when they met mine and I saw lust mixed with something darker in them.
I held the money out to him, my hope fading that he would just take it and leave.
Drew smirked. “Why don’t you gimme one more thing before I go?” He took a more aggressive step toward me. “For ole times’ sake.”
I bolted for the bathroom.
Despite his intoxication, Drew was fast enough and caught me around the waist with an arm and pulled me against him. “Ohhh, gonna play hard to get,” he said with excitement.
I struggled in his grasp, managing to turn away from him, but he wrapped the other arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest, pinning my arms with both of his.
“P-Please, let go of me.”
Drew chuckled. “Now why would I wanna let go of such a pretty little thing? ”
I felt his hot breath on my neck, the whiskey fumes carried to my nose nauseating me.
“Come on, sugar. Let’s have some fun like we use’ to, you’ll like it,” Drew said against my ear.
I swallowed hard, still pushing against his arms as my heart pounded. “N-No, Drew, you’re drunk and not thinking straight. Let go, n-now.”
He loosened the arm around my lower body, slid his hand up the front of me, and harshly grabbed my breast. I cried out and squeezed my eyes closed.
“Mmmm… this body.” Drew pressed himself against my backside. “And this ass, Maddie. I might not a’ needed to screw around if you’d given me this ass a long time ago. This is the wife I wanted.” He shifted, turning us both more to the right. “See how good we look together now?”
I opened my eyes and stared at my reflection in the mirror across the room. Suddenly, I felt my fear fading as memories flooded my mind.
Memories of being degraded and insulted.
Memories of struggling to be what Drew wanted and always being told I fell short.
Memories of being a good wife who was taken for granted.
Memories of being hurt mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically for so many years.
Memories of thinking I didn’t deserve better. Because how could I if someone I loved could do those things to me?
Even now, Drew still thought I was his to do with as he pleased. He had his hands on my body as if I belonged to him. And that was exactly what had always been wrong.
I was never more than a possession to be used, not someone he ever truly loved back. You don’t destroy someone you truly love.
Drew tightened his arm around my shoulders and licked my ear as his hand moved down my body, pulling up my dress and making it clear he didn’t intend to stop.
I felt something snap inside me. An emotion that should have broken free a long time ago. There was no more fear. All I could feel was pure, hot rage.
If I could only take one thing away from my time with Logan, it would be the self-respect he’d helped me find. Drew didn’t get to do any of this to me again.
My pulse pounded angrily in my ears as resolve settled over me.
“You never deserved this ass,” I said in a clear, calm voice as I lifted my hands, “and you don’t get to touch me anymore.”
I grasped the arm that was still holding me by the shoulders and sank my teeth into his flesh.
Drew bellowed as I tasted his blood and his hold on me was abruptly gone.
I ran for the door but he managed to grab my hair and yanked me back. I cried out as he spun me around and shoved me hard against the wall, the back of my head knocked against it with a sickening loud thud. He clenched his teeth, furious as he backhanded my face then shoved me toward the bed.
I fell to it as I saw stars and gasped for air, the shock of the blows knocking it all out of me.
Drew’s hand had caught me high on the cheek, a knuckle slamming into my nose. I felt blood trickle from the left side as my vision spun from my head hitting the wall.
I watched two moving images of Drew examining his bleeding arm before they both glared down at me. “Fuckin’ bitch!”
Logan’s words flashed through my head ‘ violent men only escalate’ as I frantically grabbed the bedding and pulled myself across the mattress away from Drew. He had manhandled and hurt me in the past but never anything like this. Of course… I’d never dared to poke the bear before.
Drew stumbled forward and grabbed my ankle, yanking me back toward him. I put up my arms and legs to fend him off as he came down on top of me.
I ignored the pain and started fighting him. “Get off me, you bastard! You don’t get to treat me like shit anymore! Let me go now!”
With his size, Drew controlled me with little effort. I heard him snicker as I kicked and punched at him, not doing much damage but I didn’t stop. I refused to be Maddie again no matter the consequences .
“Oh, I like this.” He winced as I shoved an elbow into his ribs. “You never put up much of a fight before. It’s hot, sugar,” he drunkenly cackled as he reached for my breasts.
It gave me a chance to get my shoulder unpinned and I raked my nails down his cheek.
Drew yelled out in pain and his amusement fell to anger again as he grabbed my wrist, pulled my hand away from his bleeding face, and shoved my arm against the mattress.
“Help! Someone help!” I screamed.
Drew slapped me twice, then slammed his forearm against my throat.
I struggled to breathe, pushing at the arm crushing my windpipe with desperate fingers, feeling myself becoming dizzy fast. When my hand grew slack, concentrating more on needing air, Drew let up the pressure and I felt his body lift off me as I coughed and painfully filled my lungs. Before I could move, he flipped me onto my stomach.
“That’s enough games,” Drew sneered as he grabbed my wrist again.
He wrenched my arm high on my back and I felt two pops and pain explode in me as I screamed.
On the edge of passing out, I blinked around tears, trying to stay awake as I felt Drew push up my sundress. My head swam as I heard the fabric of my underwear rip when he yanked them down my legs .
I shook my head and pushed myself up with my free arm. “No,” I whispered, my throat on fire from him suffocating me, my lungs burning from the struggle and screaming.
He was still holding my wrist against my back and yanked up hard. I screamed again as fresh lightning shot through my arm and shoulder and I fell back to the bed. The searing pain mixed with the other blows finally overwhelmed me.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open as I heard the clink of Drew undoing his belt. He shoved his knee between my slack legs. I had nothing left in me to try to stop him as I made out the metallic clicking of a zipper as sound began to fade.
His cold, drunk voice sounded far away. “Come on, Maddie, you knew tellin’ me no wasn’t happenin’.”
As I surrendered to the pain, reaching toward the darkness to take me away, I murmured my defiance one more time. “I said… No.”